Chapter Four
Faye
Faye spat into the flowerbed and wiped her mouth with a tissue from her pocket. She didn’t want to turn around and see the looks on the women’s faces, but she had nowhere to hide. Humiliated didn’t even come close.
Ella leaned over her, casting a shadow that swallowed Faye’s withering frame. “Are you alright?”
Faye’s mind stalled. Malfunctioned. Another wave of nausea, and her head swayed. The sour and putrid stench of her mess overpowered the sweet flowers. Should she leave it? Cover it up like a cat? Oh my god.
“Do you want help getting up?” Ella offered her hand, and Faye accepted, moving off her grazed knees onto unsteady feet.
Worst-case scenario: Molly is here, witnessing you throw up into a flowerbed with stupid sunglasses on your head. Best-case scenario: it isn’t her, and you’re overreacting, acting completely unhinged in front of a stranger trying to enjoy their holiday.
Her feet rooted in place, all the earth’s magnetism pinning her there. She wished the ground would split open and suck her through the cracks. As if she’d ever be so lucky.
With heavy limbs, she forced her body to turn as adrenaline fired through her veins, swirling the sickness in her throat again.
Molly wore white denim shorts and a cute crop top, her belly-piercing catching the light. Her blue eyes widened, but the surprise didn’t mask the sharp edge behind them.
It’s her. Oh god, oh god, oh god.
“Faye?” Molly’s voice came out. “What’re you doing here?”
“Do you two know each other?” Ella asked.
When neither of them answered, Ella cleared her throat and backed up towards the buggy. “I’ll give you two some privacy.” She hopped in and started the engine, calling out behind her, “See you at the introductions!”
Left alone, Faye swallowed the acidic remnants of the fruit juice trying to push its way up her throat. Say something. Anything.
This was supposed to be her reset. Her “stop moping and get your shit together” moment. To help her discover her enigma. She wanted to be moving forwards, not backwards.
But she still couldn’t find her voice.
“You look different,” Molly commented. Her gaze fell over Faye’s outfit, making her skin prickle.
Faye didn’t know if she was referring to her clothes, her stricken hangover-face, or the fact that she’d gained weight since her surgery. Either way, the “different” didn’t fill her with confidence.
Molly hadn’t changed in the year since she’d last seen her. Her soft blue eyes held the same puppy expression, her small, round face only enhancing the adorable image. Faye knew how misleading that image could be, though. That puppy had bite.
She wrapped her arms around herself. “You…look the same,” she managed, her voice quiet and pathetic. It was supposed to be a compliment, but from the way Molly’s eyebrows pinched together, she didn’t seem to take it as one.
Molly glanced over her shoulder, but no one was there. She scratched at her neck. “I’m going to the beach.” She lingered on Faye for a moment too long, enough to make the prickles on her skin turn into a burning wildfire. “I guess I’ll see you around.”
Faye watched, dumbstruck, as Molly strutted down the hill and out of view.
Out of all the retreats in the world, she had to be here.
She dragged her case inside her cabin and closed the door. The image of Molly, wide-eyed and rooted in spot, smacked her between the eyes with another splitting headache.
She sank to the cold tiles, her back to the door, tears spilling down her cheeks. Powerless and exhausted, she let them fall.
Her ex-girlfriend was here. Seriously, Universe? Last she knew, Molly was on track to graduate as a lawyer. Before Faye had muted her on social media, she seemed to be having a great life without her.
She bit back a sob. Everyone seemed better off without her. Why didn’t they keep in touch otherwise?
Her guts twisted, and she gagged, but there was nothing left to come up.
Tipping her head back against the wall, she rubbed her eyes. Then, feeling something wet on her midsection, she glanced down. Great. Now, her bag was leaking as well.
What a shitty day. Pun intended.
She did sob then. Big, ugly wails left her mouth as she dragged herself into the bathroom to strip off her clothes, bag, and peeling baseplate. She couldn’t even appreciate the room’s cleanliness or the large charcoal tiles; she just climbed into the shower and turned the water up hot.
Tears slid down her face, melding into the stream of water pelting her head and shoulders.
Today was a disaster. Her brain replayed every miserable moment back to her, and she cried harder as embarrassment, shame, and disappointment leaked into her bones.
She watched the water swirl down the plughole, wishing she could get sucked inside too and live in the drains forever.
* * *
Faye stared at her reflection. The little catnap had eased some of the puffiness around her eyes, but it couldn’t work miracles.
She swivelled, checking her new dress hid her bag adequately.
She’d applied extra stoma powder to dry her skin and more adhesive to cope with the extra humidity.
She wouldn’t be making the mistake of rushing again.
Introductions would start in thirty minutes, but she was more nervous over who she might bump into on the way—Molly, her curly-haired ex-girlfriend, or Diana, the gorgeous older woman she’d kissed and then ditched like a hot potato.
She needed to clear the air with both of them, but the very idea made her want to lock the door and board up the windows.
Faye wished she could tell her dads about what had happened and ask for advice, but her phone had lost all signal and abandoned her, too.
Get a grip, Faye.
Emmeline Pankhurst would never crawl under the bed and hide after a couple of setbacks.
She forced herself to meet her gaze in the mirror. Her winged eyeliner made her eyes pop, and the pain in her head had lessened a little. This trip hadn’t begun ideally, but she could still turn it around. A frown twitched on her brow, and she sighed.
Before she could talk herself out of it and make a nest in her bed instead, she grabbed her rucksack and headed out the door, flinching at the bright sun. She nipped back inside to pluck up Carla’s ugly pineapple sunglasses and slipped them on.
Better than going blind. The way her day was going, she’d better not tempt fate.
Her sandals clunked against the gravel path as she headed down the hill.
Blue skies stretched out above her, blending into the rolling ocean at the kiss of the horizon.
She sucked in a big lungful of air. Then another.
Feeling a little lift, she dared to smile.
She really needed to stop being so dramatic.
She was on holiday, after all.
The courtyard opened before her, a stone-paved square with a beautiful view over the cliffs and ocean below.
She recognised the fountain sitting at the front from the Sandy Springs website.
This was where the guests did yoga in the mornings—another terrifying obstacle Faye didn’t want to think about right now.
But an image of her bending over and her bag erupting, washing away the other screaming guests like a tsunami, played in the front of her mind anyway.
Cheers for that one, brain.
Her eyes landed on the big “Welcome” sign hanging from the wooden pergola. Leafy vines and colourful flowers twisted around the structure. She passed through the open door to the reception, following the arrows to the introduction hall.
She entered the silent room, and a dozen faces swivelled towards her.
Heat flushed her cheeks, and she hurried to the nearest available seat, keeping her eyes trained on the wooden table.
Incense burned somewhere, filling the air with patchouli.
After a few awkward moments, she lifted her gaze and scanned the room.
Motivational quotes and colourful paintings hung from the cream walls, which still smelled faintly of fresh paint.
The staff stood by a large screen at the front, the guests avoiding eye contact with each other.
Faye searched their faces. When she met Diana’s dark eyes, her heart skipped in her chest. Then she spotted who she was seated next to, and her stomach fell to the soles of her feet.
Molly. Molly and Diana. Sitting next to each other.
Oh my god.
Red-hot panic fired through her veins. Why, Universe, why? Before she started hyperventilating, a tall woman with blonde, wavy hair made her way to the front and clasped her hands together. Faye recognised her too; she’d done her fair share of research before coming here.
“Welcome, everyone. Let’s get started so you can make the most of that gorgeous sunshine.” She grinned. “I’m Riley, and I’m the manager here at Sandy Springs. I know there’s a lot to take on board, but don’t worry. We’ve got packs to give you at the end with all the information you need.”
Faye swooned hard. Information packs? Yes, please.
“First, I’ll introduce you to the team,” Riley continued.
“Then we’ll walk you through what to expect on your journey here at Sandy Springs.
” She turned to her left and pointed to the curvy redhead.
“Ella is my right-hand woman. Without her, this course would crumble to the ground. There’s no problem she can’t sort.
If you have any issues in your time here, let her know. ”
Faye cringed, remembering how Ella had witnessed her awkward encounter earlier.
Riley introduced the rest of the staff, all smiling in their blue uniforms, apart from one man who wore a golden kaftan—Senhor Arenoso, the course founder and lead energy-alignment guru.
Faye had read that he’d taken a step back from his responsibilities, but he still provided sessions and conducted the Fire Ceremony at the end of the course.
This was where guests would be awarded with their spirit familiars.