Chapter 10 #2
“You were never limited in your spending. You had freedom to buy whatever the hell you wanted.” Rafael cocks his head to the side, taking another sip. “So, what changed now?”
A heavy breath slips past my lips. “I don’t want to sound ungrateful, but I turned thirty weeks ago.
I have a right to have access to my money without someone supervising me.
” I repeat the words Scarlett said to me, and while my voice is still shaky, there is finally some steel in it.
“Otherwise, I’ll have to depend on you for my whole life. ”
“So this whole lawsuit is about independence?” Rush asks.
“What else would it be about?”
“Not some guy who advises you to get access to your money so he can take it from you?” Rafael’s question makes my jaw drop. “It’s a valid concern. You have to admit your sudden desire to be ‘free’ feels a bit strange.”
“Strange?” Anger slams into me, and I dig my nails into my palms, stopping myself from losing control because it would just prove their point.
“When was the last time you had to ask someone for money, Rafael?” A muscle twitches in his cheek, and I turn my attention to Rush.
“Or the last time you had to explain yourself to anyone? I bet a long time ago. Yet my whole life was filled with men who wanted to control me. It’s not strange to want my independence.
It’s long overdue. Our father seemed to understand that. ”
“Our father is dead, so his opinion doesn’t matter,” Rush snaps. “You’re our responsibility now, and we won’t apologize for wanting to protect you.”
Something inside me breaks at the word responsibility, and resentment spreads through me, poisoning my blood and tongue.
“Protect me or your assets?” The change in their demeanor is instant at my words, the temperature dropping several degrees around us and casting a different kind of doom into the night.
“In case you failed to notice, that’s exactly what I’m trying to do.
I don’t want to be your responsibility anymore.
I think we’ll all benefit from that.” My hollow laughter echoes in the night.
“And don’t you worry about any man. Trust me, no one is interested in this.
” I point at my scars. “My virtue is safe and sound with me, probably for eternity.”
Gulping for air, I will my heartbeat to slow down and really hold on to my sanity, for if I go on a downward spiral, they will lock me up.
I won’t be locked up in any room again, never!
Their expressions stay unreadable, and Rafael says, “We can’t leave you be, Lavender. You’re our little sister, and we’ll always look out for you. We love you.”
The sweet words, though, pour salt in all my open wounds, the pain so harsh and unbearable it shatters all my walls. “Why not? It’s not like you hadn't abandoned me before. So it shouldn’t be such a hardship for you both.”
Something flashes in their eyes at my cruel and undeserving words because they were kids themselves who experienced hell. They have their own scars, pain, and complicated pasts.
I shouldn’t hold them responsible for what happened to me, yet they built their lives away from me while I suffered with Jade… It can’t be cured.
My life could have been so different if they had just fought for me harder. I know they couldn’t, and the minute they could, they took me away.
Still, the scarred soul cannot forgive or forget, no matter the reason. And I know I’m not being fair, which is why I've tried to avoid having conversations like this.
“I—”
The soft, yet distressed voice from behind me interrupts my apology, and we turn to see Aileen standing on the lawn. “Dinner is ready. Everyone is waiting for you.” Her expression tells me her heart hurts for my brother, and doesn’t that just prove my point?
My brothers have somewhere to turn to with their pain, I have no one, and I won’t ever have anyone, because who would ever love me?
“I’ll sign the papers, and you’ll have access to your money by Monday. You won this round, little one.” I freeze at this as Rush comes to me and cups my cheek. “Have your freedom.” With this, he walks away toward his fiancée.
Rafael watches me for several beats, then kisses me on the forehead, doesn’t say a word, and goes back inside while I’m left standing all alone.
Under the weight of their pain and guilt that’s crushing me. I would have preferred their rage.
A single tear slides down my cheek, and I wipe it away, knowing everyone is waiting for me, and I’d better hurry up.
However, the thought of going inside and pretending once again as if nothing happened makes me nauseous, and I can’t do it.
For once, I don’t want to choose someone else’s comfort above mine.
My purse and phone are inside, so I have no way of reaching Gordon. It doesn’t stop me from walking through the garden toward the main entrance and hoping to find him at guardhouse.
On the way, it hits me that my invitation is still in my purse, since I planned to go to the club right after dinner.
I don’t have much time to dwell on it as I hear the roaring in the distance and follow the sound, my eyes widening at the sight of Levi sitting on his motorcycle.
“Grabbed this for you.” He extends my small clutch to me, and I’m too shocked to do anything but take it from him as I come closer.
“What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be inside?” Wyatt and Levi could be called rule-breakers. However, they never disrespect their parents.
In other words, they would never miss family dinners or any other family occasion that required their presence.
“I have better things to do with my time than listen to siblings fighting over who loves the other more.”
Great, everyone must have heard our conversation! “Your parents won’t have a problem with you leaving?”
“No. I showed up, and that’s what matters. I don’t like food, so I wouldn’t have touched it anyway.”
“As in you don’t like what’s on the menu tonight?”
“No, I generally do not like food.”
All our dinners together flash in my head, one after another, and true to his words, I’ve never seen him eat.
He usually sipped his coffee, and that’s about it, rarely reaching for the food.
And straight up leaving the table once the desserts were out, wincing just at the sight of them.
“How is that possible? You need to eat to fuel your body.”
My mind screams at me that I should end this conversation and call Gordon, getting away from here before anyone tries to stop me, and not engage in yet another disturbing conversation with the castle’s prince.
All my interactions with him usually go south, and do I need any more stress tonight?
“I only eat when my body is starving. Otherwise, I can’t. It doesn’t matter then what I put in my mouth as long as it sustains my hunger. I’m a creature of habit, it seems.”
His cryptic reply raises more questions than it gives me answers. When did he have to starve that it became a habit anyway?
He’s a Scott!
He extends his helmet to me, and says, “Put it on and hop on.”
“What?”
“You want to run away, right?” I nod. “I’ll take you wherever you need.”
“Have you lost your mind? I’m wearing a dress.” And why is this the first thing I say? There are thousands more important reasons why I can’t go with him!
His intense stare roaming over me sends scorching heat all over my system, and his hoarse voice only adds to the confusing yet tempting feelings sinking into me.
“Trust me, I’ve noticed. I’m heading out anyway, and poor Gordon is trying to win a poker game with my guards.
I assume he’d hate to leave now and tell his wife he lost around three grand because you didn’t give him the chance to win it back. ”
“How do you even—” Exhaling, I shake my head. “Doesn’t matter. I’ll call a cab.”
He shrugs, his free hand squeezing the handlebar and roaring the machine to life, the sound echoing through the night and making the birds in the surrounding trees fly high in the dark sky.
“Pity. I thought after standing up to your brothers for the first time in your life, you’d have more fire in you. My mistake.”
His goading words should not affect me. His offer for a ride is probably a ruse of some kind to throw more bullshit my way.
However, I’ve never ridden on a motorcycle before, and I always wanted to try it back in my teens. Would I ever get the chance to do it again anytime in the future?
Besides, traffic would be horrible at this hour, and I’d get to my destination faster on the bike.
“Fine,” I say, snatching the helmet from him and putting it on. “Just for your information. If you plan to kill me tonight to stick it to my brothers, you guys have security cameras everywhere, and they’d know it’s you.”
“Don’t worry, moy cvetochek. When I want to kill someone, I’m discreet about it.”
Amusement laces his tone, but it doesn’t seem like a joke. It sounds like he’s stating a fact, which is odd in itself.
And I ignore the mocking endearment, because whatever.
Whatever.
I want to get away from here and try something new. Sometimes ignoring reality pays off.
Taking my phone out, I quickly text Scarlett to meet me at the club and then show Levi the address. “Could you please take me there?” He nods. “And don’t tell anyone about it.” His lips twitch, and annoyance zips through me. “Or shout it from the rooftops. I don’t care. I’m an adult.”
“Lavender, get on the fucking bike and save the I’m a grown woman speeches for your brothers. I’m well aware you are one.”
Slipping my phone back into my clutch, I place it on the bike so it’d get squished between us, and then hike up my dress—thank God for my long slit—and sit, pressing myself tight against him.
Thousands of goose bumps break out on my skin, the touch sending electric volts crashing into me as I’ve never been willingly this close to him.
“Hold on tight, Lavender. Don’t let go, no matter what.”