Chapter 2
Closing the lid on her laptop, Tess exhaled a sigh, releasing the swell of emotion that she’d suppressed all the time she was on the call to Hannah.
She stood up and stretched out her limbs before going off in search of Barney outside.
The garden at Hollyhocks had always been her happy place and in the warm embrace of a spring morning, she could take comfort in its healing and protective qualities.
Her hand picked out the deep yellow of an old-fashioned rose bloom, caressing a petal, its fragrant scent playing at her nostrils.
She closed her eyes and lifted her face to the sky and in that moment, she was transported to another point in time, when her life hadn’t crumbled around her, when her only worry was what she might prepare for supper that evening.
In the space of a few days, everything that she knew to be true had been swept from under her feet and she still couldn’t quite believe that it had happened, half expecting Charles to stroll through the front door at the end of the day like he always did.
She sniffed and wiped away the tears with her forearm as she wandered down the winding path that led to the herb and vegetable garden, stopping to inspect the flourishing plants before taking a seat on the old wooden bench.
Her gaze ran around the raised beds where she’d planted her runner beans and sweet peas, already looking forward to them flourishing in the coming months, bringing their sweet scent to the garden.
The terracotta pots of mint, parsley, rosemary, sage, chives and oregano were clustered together on the mismatched paving slabs and Tess often enjoyed the ritual of wandering down to this secluded part of the garden, with her wicker basket looped over her arm, to pick the leaves of the fragrant herbs to use in whatever culinary delight she had in mind.
She took on the responsibility of mowing the lawns too and even, in earlier years, some heavy landscaping, but Tess was never happier than when pottering around the garden, deadheading the flowers and tidying up the beds.
The only gardening Charles had enjoyed was sitting out in the courtyard with a gin and tonic in his hand, happy to relinquish control of the upkeep of the grounds, approaching an acre, to his wife, certainly appreciating the efforts of her hard work.
Now, Tess gave a fleeting thought to what would happen to the house and the gardens, but she couldn’t give it serious consideration.
She could barely think about getting through the day, let alone looking any further forward.
She took a deep breath, suppressing another swell of emotion.
Oh, get a grip! she chastised herself. She was tired of crying, sobbing into her tea, into Barney’s fur and into her pillow of a night.
Fed up with moping around, feeling sorry for herself.
Surely she should be right out of tears by now.
It had been three whole days since Charles had delivered his bombshell and three whole days since she’d even stepped outside the front door. She couldn’t wallow forever.
‘Barney!’ she called, in a moment of decisiveness. ‘Walkies!’
The dog lifted his head from where he had been sniffing in the depths of a bush, pausing momentarily before galloping across to Tess, wagging his tail furiously.
‘Come on, Barney. Let’s get out of here.’
A chocolate-box pretty village in the heart of the Cotswolds, Lower Leaping, with a population of just under a thousand, was a small but vibrant community with a church, village shop and hall, and the local pub, The Royal Oak.
Having lived there for over twenty-five years, Tess knew everyone, by sight at least, and as she stepped outside to walk the familiar path that led through the main thoroughfare of the village, alongside the honey-coloured stone buildings, she felt as though she was an outsider, visiting for the first time.
She and Charles had been at the heart of the community for so long, putting on garden parties, attending church, participating in the show competitions at the summer fete and hosting suppers for their friends and neighbours, although she realised now they hadn’t done any entertaining in a long while.
She and Charles had always come as a couple, presenting a united front.
The Alexanders at Hollyhocks Cottage, on the hill.
Now, as she strode out alone, Tess wondered how she would exist on her own, without her husband at her side.
‘Morning, Tess!’ Graham Southridge, clutching the Sunday newspapers in his hand, tipped his straw boater at her, a wide smile on his face.
‘I need to have a word with Charles, but I haven’t got time today.
’ He glanced at his watch as he went on his way, calling over his shoulder, ‘Anita’s sister and her family are coming over for lunch and I’m under strict instructions not to dawdle.
I’ve got my chores to see to, apparently.
’ He gave a loud chuckle. ‘Perhaps I’ll call round tomorrow evening? ’
‘Oh actually, I’m not sure that Charles will be at home then. Maybe give him a call first to check.’
‘Will do! Have a good day, Tess!’
As Graham quickly went on his way, much to Tess’s relief, she was reminded how the Alexanders’ break-up would be the talk of the village and would create long-reaching ripples amongst their friends and neighbours.
It would come as a shock to those who had considered the Alexanders’ marriage to be rock solid, especially when she could barely believe it herself.
For the moment, she was pleased that the news hadn’t spread far and wide, but it was only a question of time.
Time enough for her to get her thoughts in order.
Although she was determined not to live in this nowhere land for too long.
Like ripping off a plaster, the sooner it was done, the better.
She strode on with purpose now, her mind a hotbed of conflicting thoughts and emotions.
None of this was of her making. She felt like a pawn in Charles’s chess game, without any moves of her own, but that was only because she had been blindsided by her husband’s actions.
Was she stupid not to have seen it coming?
It didn’t have to be that way, she decided, feeling the warmth of the sun on her face.
She might not have had any say up until this point, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t take charge of her own destiny now.
Determinedly, she walked with Barney along their usual route down the main street, across the wooden bridge over the meandering river, and into the fields where Barney, let free from his lead, zigzagged across the grass, tracking the scents with his nose.
She took a deep breath, relishing the beauty of her surroundings, the landscape so familiar to her and now, comforting too.
They walked around the edge of the field before leaving through the kissing gate, and then taking the stone bridge back over the river at the other end of the village, following the path that led home.
Feeling marginally better than she had done in days, Tess approached the cottage with a smile.
How could she not when Hollyhocks looked so beautiful in the morning light, the rambling rose against the golden-coloured limestone displaying clusters of pretty, pink blooms. She unlatched the gate and walked along the path, stopping to admire the frontage.
It was perfect, apart from perhaps the front door, which was finished in a dark-green gloss paint.
She’d never liked it and had always thought a softer pastel colour would suit it much better, but Charles had got his way on that one as he usually did.
Walking along the front of the house towards the back door, she was thinking about the mug of tea and slice of walnut and sultana loaf, with a thick slathering of butter, she would have inside, the recent emotional upset not having had an impact on her appetite at all.
She’d just pulled the key out of her pocket when she heard footsteps on the gravel driveway and a familiar voice that made her stomach drop.
‘Tess! I’ve been meaning to catch you.’ Dilly Duchamp, in wide-legged linen trousers and a loose-fitting tunic top, appeared from next door, looking effortlessly stylish and cool, in contrast to Tess’s post-dog-walk glow.
‘I was going to call round earlier in the week, but I sensed all was not well.’ Those last words were delivered in hushed tones and with a wide-eyed grimace.
Dilly looked over her shoulders as though she might have a listening audience.
‘I saw Charles leaving with his suitcases and heard raised voices. I was hoping he would be back by now, but there’s been no sighting of him since. ’
Now it was Tess’s turn to widen her eyes, wondering if Dilly had been staging a stake-out from her bedroom window.
‘And to be honest with you, sweetie, you’re looking…’ Dilly paused, for maximum effect. ‘Terrible. Is everything all right?’ Tess might have been reassured by the other woman’s show of concern had it not been for the eagerness of her tone.
Despite living next door to Dilly Duchamp for over fifteen years, Tess had never really warmed to her neighbour, finding her overbearing and annoying, but she had always tried to remain on friendly terms for the sake of… well now, she wasn’t quite sure why she’d tried so hard.
‘Thanks, Dilly, for pointing that out. I do look a bit shit, don’t I?
But that’s what comes when your husband of thirty years abandons you for a young, lithe and lovely business associate.
So, yeah, not the best day. But listen, there’s no need for you to stay on lookout duties.
Charles is gone and he won’t be coming back again.
Not to stay at least. So, there we are!’
Tess fixed Dilly with a wide smile and she was gratified to discover that the tears that had been so in evidence these last few days were nowhere to be found, and instead, she recognised a relief and freedom in voicing her new reality aloud.