Chapter Twenty
Monday morning and minutes after Ben had left for work, Cassie was at her desk and updating a website for one of her long-term clients.
Andrea J. Matthews was an author of half a dozen self-help books and, in Cassie’s humble opinion, a specialist in waffly wellness BS.
Her new book Mindfulness Meditation for the Nonbeliever appeared to be just another take on what most of the author’s previous books had been about.
But fair play to Andrea J. Matthews, her books sold and according to the latest batch of testimonials Cassie had just uploaded, she had helped thousands of people over the years, if not hundreds of thousands if the claims were to be believed.
Cassie had no idea if the testimonials were genuine, but that wasn’t her concern.
Just as it wasn’t her business to pester Nina about the wedding on Saturday, so Ben had said while they’d been having breakfast.
‘I take exception to the word “pester”,’ Cassie had responded, ‘I just want to know that Nina’s okay, it’s very unlike her not to reply to a message.’
‘If Nina had anything she wanted to share, she would have done so by now,’ Ben had said in that annoyingly reasonable voice of his, while continuing to read the news headlines on his iPad.
‘That is such a typical male thing to say!’ Cassie had retorted.
‘And that, right back atcha,’ he’d said with a smile, ‘is such a typically female thing to say!’
‘Don’t be so smug.’
‘But you have to admit, I do it with such aplomb.’
Why were men so incurious about certain things, Cassie thought now while she uploaded the last batch of testimonials to Andrea J.
Matthews’s website. Wasn’t it the most normal thing in the world to want to know how Nina’s day had gone when she had been so anxious about attending the wedding with Jakob?
Wasn’t it also perfectly normal to want to know all the details, such as how did the ghastly mother-in-law react to Nina having a plus-one at her side?
The last of the testimonials now uploaded, Cassie moved on to the quote the client wanted added to the welcome page of the website:
You no longer have yesterday, and nor do you have tomorrow. You only have today, so let me teach you how to make it not just a good day, but an exceptional day.
It might not have been wholly original, but it was a sentiment Cassie could get behind.
She spent far too much time worrying about what had gone on in her life previously and if there was an easy way to stop herself from doing it, she would.
No doubt Andrea J. Matthews, and countless others, would say it was a straightforward choice – you either let go of the hurt or hung on tight to it.
Venetia had said something similar when Cassie had asked her about her time here at Hope Hall when it was a children’s home, something about never allowing the past to become a weapon to use against others, or yourself.
The woman genuinely didn’t seem to have a negative bone in her body and yet for someone who had been abandoned as a baby it would be understandable if she harboured any number of grudges.
Did that kind of resilience and acceptance come with age, or were some people born with an innate ability to accept the hand they’d been dealt?
What intrigued Cassie most was that Venetia had never tried to discover who her mother was, or her father come to that.
With all the resources available on the internet these days, surely it would be possible.
And what about the children with whom Venetia had grown up, in particular her friend, Lucien, why hadn’t she wanted to find out where they all were now?
Or was Cassie merely letting her own curiosity get the better of her, as well as projecting her obsession with not letting go of the past?
The question brought her back to Nina and the wedding on Saturday.
Had going with Jakob given Nina a taste of what her life could be like in the future, released from the past and her dead husband and his family?
Frankly, the mother-in-law sounded a total control freak and a prime example of someone who was determined not to move on and, while she was about it, chain everyone down with her.
The pot calling the kettle black, Cassie thought with a shake of her head. How easy it was for her to see the mistakes others made but do nothing about her own. Which wasn’t quite true because she knew the mistakes she made, she just didn’t know how to stop herself from repeating them.
The jingling ringtone of a FaceTime call jolted her out of her thoughts and seeing that it was Emily, she took a moment to prepare herself before speaking to her daughter.
She needed to ensure that she sounded positive and sincerely reassuring for Emily.
It should come naturally to her, of course it should, but because Drew would be part of the conversation it simply wasn’t that easy.
She clicked on Accept and straightaway the bleakness of Emily’s face staring back at her told Cassie that she was going to need to dig deep if she was going to say the right thing.
‘Mum,’ she said, ‘I … I thought you ought to know, Dad died last night. I know you won’t exactly be heartbroken at the news, but—’ Her voice cracked and she pressed a fist to her mouth.
‘Oh darling, I’m so very sorry.’
‘Are you? Are you really?’
Recoiling at the sharpness of the accusation, Cassie said, ‘I’m sorry for you, Ems, that you’re going through this.’
‘If you hadn’t hated him so much, I would have been able to know him better and for longer, but you denied me that!’
Her instinct was to launch herself into fighting back, to dismiss what was being thrown at her, but Cassie knew that right now her daughter needed someone to blame for the unfairness of losing her father when she’d only just started getting to know him.
‘Ems,’ she said gently, ‘tell me what happened.’
‘Why, so you can gloat?’
God forgive her, Cassie would have felt precisely like that once upon a time. ‘Of course not,’ she said, ‘that’s a terrible thing to say. How’s his wife coping?’
‘Like you care!’
‘Please, Ems, don’t keep thinking the worst of me.’
Emily sniffed and then rubbed the tears from her eyes. ‘If you must know, she’s not coping at all. She’s a wreck and it’s a wonder she’s held up for as long as she has.’
‘You’ve probably been a great support to her,’ Cassie said. ‘I’m proud of you. And I’m sure Drew would have been proud of you too.’
It was the wrong thing to say. The girl’s face crumpled, and Cassie longed to put her arms around her daughter and make all this wretched heartbreak go away.
If only Drew had left well alone! If only he hadn’t had some kind of mid-life crisis of conscience and invited his abandoned daughter into his life!
He’d wrecked Cassie’s life all those years ago and now he’d done it all again with his second wife and little boy, and Emily.
Reining in her emotions, and knowing that she wasn’t being entirely rational, Cassie focused on her precious daughter who was far too young to have to deal with all this. But was Emily right, should Cassie have hated Drew less and done more to make him a proper father to his daughter?
But how? How could she have done more when Drew had been the one to make it so clear he hadn’t wanted to play any part in his daughter’s life until recently? How was it always the woman’s fault?
‘Mum! Are you even listening to me?’
Cassie snapped to attention. ‘Sorry, sweetheart, the connection went a bit fuzzy then,’ she improvised. ‘What were you saying?’
‘I have to help Rosalyn repatriate Dad’s body back to the UK. The laws here are a bloody nightmare and because she doesn’t work and can’t support herself, they’ll kick her out.’
‘Not immediately, surely?’
‘No, but she knows she’ll have to leave when the authorities say time’s up. But she has nowhere to go. She’s frantic with worry.’
Knowing that Drew’s parents were long since dead and were therefore not a source of help, Cassie said, ‘Rosalyn must have friends and other members of family here in the UK who she can turn to?’
‘I told you before, she hasn’t had any contact with her parents in years.’
‘Then this might be the moment to resolve whatever issues there are. In times of crisis that’s usually when families put their differences aside and come together to help.’
Minutes later and, as unbelievable as it was, Cassie realised the trap she’d walked into. She realised too, that if she said no, then it would damn her for evermore in her daughter’s mind.