Chapter 19
Chapter Nineteen
ASTON
Rule #8: (Added by Aston) Forever might never be enough, but it’s always worth trying for.
I couldn’t quite believe that I was watching her drive away. Again, that part inside of me screaming to go after her, to get my head out of my ass, couldn’t make me move. Instead all I could do was repeat the words my father spoke.
It was better this way. I could get my head on straight, and I wouldn’t hurt her more than I already had.
I made my way back inside, only to come face to face with Hudson.
He glared at me and folded his arms over his chest. “Are you serious right now?” My taciturn brother whispered. His voice was laced with an edge that should have worried me.
“I just had a really shitty day. Don’t get on me. ”
“Oh, we’re going to do that,” Dorian snapped, and I realized that everyone had come back from their perspective corners to stand in my living room, glaring at me.
“I don’t have time for this.”
“I think you have all the time in the world if you’re going to push the woman that you love out of your house and your life,” Theo snapped.
“I don’t…love her. It’s not like that.” And yet I could hear the lie in my tone.
I hadn’t let myself even think the word love. I liked being with her. I liked seeing her smile and I loved seeing how she grew. But I didn’t love her.
Could I? No, because if I had, I wouldn’t have pushed her out.
“I need you to fix this,” James said softly as he moved forward. “Not because she works for me. Not because she’s one of the best managers we have ever had, not because you ruining this could literally break the family because of Isabella’s loyalties, but because you need her.”
I ran my hands over my face moving toward the side bar. “I need a fucking drink.”
“No, you need to be clearheaded for this,” Flynn argued.
“You’re looking at me as if you have never even thought of the fact that you could love her, and that worries me,” Dorian added, and it surprised me that it was him saying these words. The one of us who was the actual player of the family. “Don’t let Dad get in your head. He’s a fucking asshole who doesn’t deserve a single breath that we give. No space in our minds, no space in our days. It doesn’t matter what the raving lunatic has to say.”
“Everything he put in that letter was just about him,” Flynn continued.
“And it was all bullshit.” Hudson shook his head. “He’s the one who lied, cheated, and somehow ended up with two women who were apparently just fine with having secret families. Because the only secrets they kept were from the kids, not each other.”
I began to pace, my heart racing. “But don’t you see? If I let this get any more serious, and when it blows up spectacularly, I am going to hurt this family.”
“It’s already beyond serious,” Theo said, shaking his head.
“You brought her here to our family dinner,” James whispered. “I’ve seen the way you two are with each other. You guys can work on the same floor, bump into each other, and be completely professional where I’m pretty sure most people don’t even realize you’re dating. You don’t keep it a secret, but you act like a rational human being. Where is that rational human being right now?” James shoved at my shoulder, surprising me.
“I am being rational.”
“Do you not hear yourself?” Hudson asked. “You’re so scared of what could be, you’re making it all worse. Go get her back. Fix this. She’s the best thing that ever happened to you. Dad was the worst thing. I don’t know what kind of sick games him and the moms were thinking of but fuck them. Fuck what they think. When my letter shows up, I’m going to burn it. I don’t really care what he thinks about me. Because I was always the disappointment. The one who didn’t go into business, the one who decided to serve my country instead.
“And I’m the one he’s hated since he first looked at me, even though he loves my twin,” Dorian put in.
Flynn reached out and gripped his shoulder. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s not you, twin of mine,” Hudson said, that familiar smile in his voice.
“We are all disappointments to him in one way or another,” James said with a shrug. “But he’s dead. The only way that I really care about him, is the fact that we have to deal with his will. And I would throw it all in his face and ignore it, but I don’t want to give him the satisfaction of being right.”
“But what if he is right?” I whispered.
“He’s not,” Theo said.
“Go get her back. Go apologize. Grovel. Do what you did the first time you fucked up,” Dorian snapped.
I looked at all of them and realized that I was the idiot. It hadn’t even taken me ten minutes to realize that I made a mistake, and I needed to fix this.
“Go. Go get your girl. Because I really don’t want to have to hire anyone else,” James said as he gave me a pointed look. “I mean you. Replacing you. Because we are keeping Blakely.”
“Damn straight,” Flynn added.
Panic racing through me, I grabbed my keys, and headed toward her house.
I was driving so fast I was pretty sure I was going to beat her there, as I tried to figure out what I was going to say.
Only there weren’t going to be any words to express my regret. I had hurt her. Again. Yes, the first time had been out of my control, the second time because of a photo I hadn’t even realized had been taken. It wasn’t third time’s the charm, it was three strikes you’re out. And I knew that beyond anything.
I loved her. And it had taken me making the biggest mistake of my life to even realize that. I pulled into her driveway, and my heart squeezed ever so slightly, seeing her shadow in her front window. I needed to fix this. I needed to be The Cage. The one who was determined and knew what the hell he wanted.
Or perhaps that was the problem. Because The Cage was just a facade. And my father had never known what he wanted. He had taken everything to try to find it, but he hadn’t.
But I had, I needed to atone for everything that I’d done.
And now I stood on her doorstep, hand raised to knock, when it opened.
Blakely looked at me, eyes swollen from tears, her cheeks wet, still wearing her pale pink dress. “What are you doing here?” she asked, her hands at her sides.
“I’m sorry.”
“You’re getting really good at saying those words. Just go away, Aston.”
“No, please. Hear me out.”
“I did. When you rambled about whatever was going on in your head, and when you pushed me away. It’s been what, forty minutes? And you’ve already changed your mind. Maybe you should deal with it. Because I’m worth more than your misgivings.”
Panicking, I swallowed down the bile in my throat, before I finally cursed under my breath. “I just don’t want to be my father.”
Her eyes widened slightly, before she took a step back. “I don’t want to make a scene for my neighbors, so come in. But what are you talking about?”
Grateful that she even let me in, I swallowed hard, and took those steps inside.
“My father ignored my mother. And his other so-called partner. Even with that deal with them that I never understood, he ignored them. All he wanted was the power and the connections that came with it. He liked his secrets, liked lording them over everyone. I just hadn’t realized that he had so many more secrets than I thought.” I reached forward and brushed the tears from her cheeks with my thumb. The fact that she didn’t pull away I took as a good sign. And hopefully not a goodbye.
“Aston…” she began, but I took a step back, handing over the letter that ruined everything.
“Read this.”
She gave me a strange look before taking the letter in hand and began to read. Color dotted her cheeks as she continued, and I cleared my throat.
“I don’t want to take you for granted. And I feel like I do. I want to show you how much I care about you, how much I fucking love you. But I don’t want to become my father, so I hurt people along the way.”
Her eyes widened even more, and I realized that I’d just blurted that I loved her.
“You are not your father. Your father would never say that he loved you. You told me that. You love me though?” Her voice broke, and I sucked in a breath.
I nodded, moving my hands back to her face. “I do. I didn’t fucking realize it because I didn’t know what I was looking for. But I do. And I want to believe that I’m not my father. But sometimes I get so focused on making sure that this family and this legacy isn’t what he made it, that I lose track.” I had let my hands fall, and nearly began to pace. But I didn’t want to lose her gaze.
“That is not what your father tried to do. I don’t know what his end goal was, but you’re trying to protect your family, and yourself. You just have to stop pushing me away when you get scared. Because I love you too, you asshole.”
A smile slid over my face, even as my heart raced. “You love me?”
“Of course I do. Everything wouldn’t hurt this bad if it wasn’t love. I’ve never been in love before, so I didn’t realize it either, but I do love you. So, don’t push me away when you get angry. Whenever your father does something to annoy you, even from the grave, talk to me about it. But the next time you do anything close to what you did, I’m done. I love you, but I also love myself.”
I moved forward and cupped her face once more before bringing my lips down to hers. I tasted the salt of her tears and nearly fell to my knees.
I had hurt her, the person that I loved, and I hadn’t even realized how I was doing it until it was almost too late. And when I pressed my forehead to hers, I let out the breath I hadn’t even realized I’d been holding. “I love you.”
“I really like when you say that. But you can’t use it to grovel the next time.”
“I’m not going to need to grovel.”
“Oh you will. Because we’re both going to make mistakes. That’s part of the rules.”
I leaned back, tilted my head. “Rules?”
“Of being in a relationship. You’re going to make mistakes, but you figure out how to fix them without hurting the other person. I’ve watched my parents navigate two careers that take up so much space in their lives that it sometimes felt that there wasn’t enough space for each other or me. But they made it through. And we can too. As long as you talk to me.”
I stared at her, my heart racing. “Okay. I promise. I’ll do better. I won’t be the asshole that I know I’m being.”
“Good. And I’m really delighted that you came here because we have that gala this weekend, and I really don’t want to go alone again.”
This time my smile widened even further. “I met you the last time. You know, I think we should make sure this gala ends a little bit better than the last time.”
Her smile softened as she wrapped her arms around me .
“Good. Because I want to enjoy myself with you, and not be worried that I’m going to ruin everything.”
“No, and I’ll do my best not to ruin it either.”
I slid my fingers down her bare arm, and she raised a brow.
“Is there something you would like?” she teased.
And as I gently pulled down the straps of her dress, she rolled her eyes, before I took her lips with mine.
“Oh, I think there’s something that we could both want.”
“Why does this feel different and yet the exact same,” Blakely asked as we walked inside the large ballroom. Everyone wore tuxes and ballgowns, with far too many diamonds and jewels. What a pretentious way to donate money for a reputable cause. But others wanted to be in their finery, and we let them. It wasn’t the same organization as before, but we Cages needed to show face, and donate. And Blakely was here as my date.
“Well, this time I get to monopolize all of your dances, and not have to worry if I’m going to scare you away.”
“I think after meeting your entire family, I’m not going to be that scared.”
“Well I’m scared,” Isabella said as she stood on my other side, her green dress flowing around her in waves. She had piled her hair up on the top of her head in some sort of updo and added subtle makeup .
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you in a dress, dear sister.”
She glared at me, but I saw the fear in her gaze. “I still don’t know why I’m here.”
“Because you’re a Cage,” I said as I squeezed her hand. “And our world is starting to realize that, so you have to deal with what we do.”
“And that means getting in fancy dresses and schmoozing?”
“I’m going to have to do it too, and I’m just dating him,” Blakely said, and I squeezed her hip.
“Hey, I thought you liked schmoozing me.”
“Please don’t finish that sentence,” Isabella said, as she pinched the bridge of her nose. “I should just go. I’ve showed my face, did the Cage thing, but I’m going to go.”
“Oh, I don’t think so,” James said as he moved forward. “Flynn is off talking with a potential client, which I think you’re going to want to hear about,” James said, looking at me, before turning back to Isabella. “And, while you are a Cage, you’re a Cage that works with us, so now you’re going to have to deal with everything that comes with it.”
“Why can’t anyone else be here. There’s a lot of us. Sophia would be great at this. She used to have to do those things when she was in the ballet.”
“I’m sure we’ll bring Sophia to these too,” I said, holding back my laughter. “However, you work with us. So you get first dibs.”
“Come on little sister, I’ll take you to the punch.”
“We are the same age and my birthday is before yours,” Isabella snapped, and I just shook my head as those two walked off, and Blakely shook beside me.
“Hold back your laughter. Isabella won’t appreciate it,” I murmured.
“Getting her out here was like pulling teeth. But I’m sure she’ll figure it out.”
“You know, she didn’t really need to be here,” I said softly.
Blakely’s eyes twinkled. “Oh, I figured. But it’s a good way for her to get to know you guys in all aspects. You know, Emily would actually love this.”
“Is it weird that I feel like I don’t even know her at all. She’s so much younger.”
“You know Phoebe and she’s even younger.”
“I’ve known her longer.” I rubbed the back of my neck. “I mean I really do need to get out of my head about whatever Dad said and worry about the family that we have.”
“You are the big brother. And I think you’re doing a pretty good job about it.”
“And I can do a better one. Because once those letters start to arrive, I have a feeling Dad’s going to do his best to try to hurt each and every one of us.”
“And we’re not going to let him. Because you have me on your side too.”
I leaned down, and brushed my lips against hers, my heart swelling.
Out of the corner of my eye, Blakely’s old boss walked by, whispering something to his wife. That glare on his face looked like it needed to be ripped off, but Blakely squeezed my hand, and just smiled over at him, before her attention went to someone else. She ignored him completely, and I couldn’t have been prouder.
Because, she was right, just like my father, that man did not have the right to have any space in her life. It looked like the older man wanted to say something, most likely a little cutting, but we moved past the couple, and toward Flynn and the woman that he wanted to introduce us to.
And that was that. No huge blowup, I didn’t pound my fist into the man’s face. And Blakely didn’t even have to say a word. She ignored him like he didn’t matter. Because he didn’t.
She was with us, the Cages, and that was just fine with me.
Not to mention that the so-called rivalry stood no chance. We’d outbid them on each and every proposal they’d tried in the past few months and would continue to do so until they got the hint.
The Cages played to win.
“I see you’re here,” a cold voice said from beside me, and I realized that maybe I had thought those words too soon. I squeezed Blakely’s hip as we turned to the side. “Hello Mother.”
“Aston.” She looked at Blakely, and nodded tightly, and didn’t bother to say anything to the woman that I loved. Ice practically slid off this woman, and I had to wonder exactly what had happened to her to make her this way. Had she always been this way? Or had Dad’s constant infidelity and lies done it. It was hard to feel sorry for her when she acted like this, but I did. Because I didn’t want my mother to hurt.
“I didn’t know you would be here tonight,” I said. “You look lovely.”
“I’m here with Dorian. I didn’t want him to bring some floozy.”
I raised a brow and looked across the ballroom. I hadn’t even realized Dorian would be here, but there were shadows in his eyes, and I had to wonder exactly what had happened.
“It’s good you’re here, the world needs to see The Cage. Don’t embarrass us.”
I shook my head, wondering why she was like this. “I’m not The Cage, Mother,” I said pointedly, and her eyes narrowed. “I’m Aston. I’m not Dad. And I think Dorian’s doing just fine without you. But you’re welcome to go stand with him. It’s good that you actually like one of your sons.”
And with that, I nodded goodbye, and pulled Blakely to the dance floor. Mother just stood there, fuming, but Dorian was now talking animatedly with Isabella and James, so my mother had nowhere to go, other than to speak to people she didn’t want to.
“Well, that was fun,” Blakely said, with a roll of her eyes.
“Family, am I right?” I said, and she just laughed.
“I love your brothers and sisters. So I’m glad you have the multitudes that you do.”
“I don’t know what’s going on with her, or how she keeps getting colder, and maybe we’ll figure it out, or maybe we won’t. But I’m done trying to act like Dad to make her happy. Which, sounds far weirder than it should be.”
Blakely held back a laugh, her shoulders shaking. “Thankfully I know what you mean,” she said with a laugh, as I twirled her on the dance floor. And as the music changed, we continued to dance, doing the one thing we hadn’t been able to the first time we’d been here.
Just be.
I had almost lost her, had almost pushed her away because of the man they had wanted me to be.
And I wasn’t going to be that anymore. I was going to be who Blakely needed me to be.
Who I needed me to be.
Whatever Cage that happened to be in the moment.