5. Let Me See #2
Still holding her hand, I sat back and blew out a breath, turning her palm over, observing how easy it was to engulf her hand in mine.
She went still, watching me, and I felt her scrutiny.
Felt the sudden wariness flare in her chest and hated that I was the one who’d put it there.
Because the more I allowed myself to sense of her, the more I understood that in her natural state she was cheerful, and quick to trust. She had learned to question herself.
I hated whomever had taught her that. And hated even more that I’d added lessons.
“Voski?” she asked hesitantly, though she didn’t pull her hand away.
“I think we should talk about our brothers,” I said quietly, then met her eyes.
She still knelt near my hip. Her chin was low. Her eyes searching my face. “Oh?”
I nodded. “I think it would be better—for us—if we didn’t tell them about this—the bond—right away.”
She went still. “Why?”
I felt the jolt of self-doubt ricochet through her
Shit. How to explain that this had nothing to do with her, so she wouldn’t think I was ashamed?
I cleared my throat. “I hate having eyes on me. I’ve spent so long training to avoid interest, to evade notice, that knowing others are watching makes my skin burn.
With our brothers, I’ll struggle once this comes out.
In part, because they’ll be curious and this feels like something that we should be able to explore without explaining.
But also, I know our brothers.” I took a deep breath.
“Grace, the moment they hear about this, they’re going to get close to you just to burn me. ”
“What? Why would they do that?”
I winced. “It’s possible I’ve made a habit of reminding them of their weaknesses.
Joking, you understand? It grates for them that they can’t needle me in the same way.
But I’m afraid that while this is new, and I’m still learning control, if one of them was to touch you, or tease me the wrong way…
” I raked my free hand through my hair. “I don’t trust myself not to kill one of them if he gets handsy because he thinks it’s funny to poke at me. ”
Her brow pinched, and her jaw jutted forward, though she didn’t argue with me. I could feel the emotions roiling within her—a conflicting, confusing mass.
I pressed on, hoping to clarify for her. “We should keep this between us—but only for a time. Just until we’re more established. It will also avoid uncomfortable questions about our time together,” I said carefully.
She winced, and dropped her gaze to our hands. I squeezed her hand, stroking the back of hers with my thumb. Her skin was so soft.
“I’m not hiding anything. I worry about what they’ll do, and how I’ll react to them. There’s already so much upheaval. I don’t want to create further problems.”
She bit her lip, then nodded slowly, but I felt her heart sinking and pulled her closer.
“No, no.” I murmured, tipping her chin up and making her look at me as I sat up and gathered her closer. “Look at me—this is the truth. I don’t deserve you after everything. But I’m asking you for this, for my sanity. Just time. Nothing else. I’m not hiding you.”
She stared into my eyes, searching my gaze, then she nodded. “I’ll wait for you to be ready,” she whispered.
Relief twisted up with self-loathing in me. I hated the question I saw in her eyes. Hated that I had to question myself. And knew deeply that I did. But I could sense her doubting herself. Dammit.
I slid that hand into her hair and pulled her to me, tipping my forehead against hers, eyes still fixed on hers.
“Feel me, Grace. Can you feel me? Feel that I’m not lying to you?” I whispered.
She blinked, then closed her eyes, concentrating. Moments later, the sides of her lips curled up a hair. “I can feel you,” she whispered.
“Good—then examine me. All of it—there’s no shame there. No anger. Nothing but—”
“What are you afraid of?” she murmured.
I went still. Her eyes popped open and she pulled back just far enough to focus. “What frightens you so much when you are so capable?”
Alarm jangled in my chest and my breath rushed out of me. “It’s not simple fear. There are things in my past… I want to tell you, but—”
She interrupted me, a rush of warmth and reassurance washing to me through the bond at the same time every instinct in my body leaped to high alert—someone was near.
“You can tell me anything. Anything at all,” Grace hurried to assure me.
Every instinct screamed alarm. Someone was near. “Grace, hush.” I snapped my head to the right, searching. The presence wasn’t our dragons.
Shit. Shit.
Who would be out here? And why now?
“Voski, you’re my mate! You can be certain I’d never share your secrets with others—”
I clapped my hand over her mouth and met her eyes—which had gone wide and round over my hand now. I released her very slowly, raising one finger to my lips. She understood and nodded slowly when I gestured for her to stay there as I eased myself off the bed.
I cursed as I crept across the floor toward the window on that side of the building. This was the downside to the privacy of the treehouse—we couldn’t see out. Even if I opened the shutters fully, the same branches that hid the treehouse from below, obscured our view of the outside.
My instincts prickled the hair at the back of my neck as I carefully released the lock on one of the shutters, praying the hinges wouldn’t creak.
But before I could swing it wide, the trapdoor in the floor popped behind me.
I snarled a curse and whirled just in time to meet Gil’s eyes as he pushed the trap door up.
“What are you—” He cut off, his eyes wide with shock as he caught sight of Grace on the bed—who, thankfully, had had the presence of mind to pull a quilt up and over her naked body. But she blushed furiously. “Oh, shit. Sorry, Gr—”
Fury scoured the breath from my lungs. “Get out. Now!” I roared.