27. The Torment of Waiting
~ VOSKI ~
I paced a small patch of muddy grass outside a gardener’s door to the castle, near the royal wing. Donavyn had made it very clear that we weren’t to enter the castle, or follow—and it almost killed me. But he’d been utterly clear.
“This is my realm. I have the queen’s ear.
You need to trust me to use it,” he growled at me on the road, as I watched Grace draw further and further away, that bastard’s hand still clamped around her arm like a manacle.
“You do not belong in that room while you’re this on edge, and wouldn’t be welcomed anyway.
You leave this to me, but stay close. When the time is right, I’ll bring her to you, or bring you to her.
But you keep your head down and for the Creator’s sake, don’t hurt anyone. ”
“Sir,” I pleaded. “You can’t make me just watch while he takes her.”
“I won’t,” he said simply. Then, with a glance at Ronen and Gil that made me bristle, because it was a warning to keep me out of the way, he turned on his heel and followed the others, who were growing smaller, further ahead on the road.
Grace and Bren both looked back. I felt Grace’s fear as if it was my own, and since I couldn’t follow, I reached for her through the bond, praying she’d hear me.
‘You’re mine. You have nothing to fear. I won’t let him take you. No matter what, Grace. Do you hear me? No. Matter. What.’
Watching her walk away, then eventually disappear into the castle felt like peeling my own skin off. But Ronen led me to this garden, and Gil hovered, looking pissed off.
So, I paced. Praying that Donavyn would find a way.
He knew what it was like in a bond, I reminded myself. He knew how impossible it was to be parted.
He had the queen’s ear.
He was Shadowfang.
He’d figure shit out.
What if he didn’t figure it out?
Panicking again, I reached for Kham. He and Koa were circling high overhead, keeping themselves well clear of the castle towers.
‘Kham, what does Koa hear from her?’
‘She is frightened and distracted by the people. But Koa knows she’s safe. I had to remind her that we are bonded to humans, and cannot simply flame any we do not like.’
‘Oh dear.’ My heart rose. Perhaps all this would be solved even if Grace was taken? Maybe Koa would just kill this bastard and take her?
Kham saw my mental images, and rumbled. ‘Honor is not honor if we only apply right and wrong to those who agree with us,’ he growled. ‘Do not urge my mate to give in to her baser instincts. We will solve this without murder.’
I continued pacing, but shrank a little. I knew he was right—it was the same reason Ronen shot Gil down, and I hadn’t encouraged his offer. Killing Breckon would likely cause more problems than it solved.
And yet…
I turned in my pacing to find Gil, eyes intent on me, his arms folded, but his body poised. Ready to tackle me if I did something stupid, or take down anyone who was a danger to me.
He was the most loyal, and courageous—and reckless and brutal—man I knew.
The others in the squad often treated his offers of violence as a joke. But I knew they weren’t. Gil didn’t look for opportunities to kill. He simply regarded it as a valid solution to problems.
I still didn’t fully understand what had happened to him before he became a Furyknight that had made him so pragmatic about life and death. But I was glad to know he was at my back.
If anyone ever came for me, and he had opportunity, Gil would stop them. I knew that.
And he knew I’d help him hide the body.
That didn’t help us with a man of prominence who would be missed within hours, and who was known to the rulers. Ronen and Donavyn were both right—noble society was an entirely different beast. Even spying among them required a different kind of stealth.
If we started killing them, we’d end up in battle with the entire bloodline network across the territories. Not only would that get ugly fast, it would suck every kingdom into war.
That path only led to suspicion of the Furyknights rising to power in our society, the loss of respect, until the rot seeped into our ranks.
Furyknights were not flawless men. But we were usually men of honor, with the courage to protect others. Along with our dragons. If the world began to view us as threats, rather than weapons for their protection, we became the villains to be fought.
These men were my family. This place was our home. Anything that threatened this place, these men, threatened the only life I cared about. I was taken back to that meeting when I’d listened to Donavyn describe the changes in the kingdom, that roiling dread bubbled through me.
The squads gone.
Our purpose dissolved.
Our family disbanded.
Grace wouldn’t be in less in danger in that scenario—the danger would just come from many more corners.
Even knowing that, Grace was worth it to me. The world could go to hell, if I had her. But the larger part of me also knew we’d both regret it if I sparked such a catastrophic series of events.
No, we needed to be smart about this. But the panic shrieking in my chest, and Grace’s fear and despair, made it difficult to think beyond stopping this man right now.
‘You will not lose those who love you, no matter how the world might change,’ Kham assured me.
‘Don’t be so certain,’ I muttered back, though I knew what he meant. I wouldn’t lose him. Or Grace. I wouldn’t lose Gil, or Ronen.
But if, together, we lost everything that made us safe? Everything that we valued? What then?
A wonderful image bloomed in my mind, of sweeping Grace out from under this Lord’s nose and fleeing with her, back to the hut. We could make a life there. But the truth was, if Vosgaarde went to war, it would find us, even out there. And there, we’d be alone.
I would fight to the death to protect her. But even Kham and Koa could be overwhelmed by numbers.
We needed our family. We needed the Keep, and the dragons, and the unity here. We all needed our queen.
To lose all of them, only to have some mercenary fuck discover our hiding place and take Grace from me anyway, because I had no support?
I shuddered.
“You’re a leader, Voski,” Ronen said quietly.
He’d squatted, his back to the wall of the castle, watching me.
“Grace is only the second female Flameborne, but we all know more women are coming. More and more of us will fight these battles. You have a duty here—to set an example. Just like Donavyn did.”
I bristled, not wanting to hear that he believed I needed the reminder. But he wasn’t done. When I turned back to face him, he locked eyes on me.
“Keep your shit together.”
“You wait until you have a bond, and we’ll see how together you keep your shit,” I muttered.
Ronen’s jaw tightened, but he didn’t respond.
Gil looked back and forth between us. “You know, I’m still happy to—”
“No!” Ronen and I barked in unison.
He smiled. I almost did. But I kept pacing. It seemed like forever since they’d disappeared into the castle. I knew it was probably only thirty minutes, but sitting here, doing nothing would drive me insane.
Some time later, pounding footsteps echoed from around the corner of the building, and a moment later, Bren appeared, puffing as she slid to a halt.
“You’re summoned, Voski. You need to come now, while Lord Assface is off finding his contract.
” I started toward her as Ronen straightened, and both he and Gil looked at her with questions in their eyes.
“Donavyn says you two need to come too—and keep him in line. If he touches anyone, it won’t go well. ”
I grimaced, but didn’t argue when they caught up with me, Bren walking alongside, filling me in on everything that had been said before she left.
My blood ran cold.
The queen didn’t think she could override this?
I looked at Bren when she delivered that as we trotted through the halls of the castle. And her expression in response was sympathetic.
No. That was the last thing I wanted to see. We didn’t need sympathy. Sympathy meant we were giving up! We needed to fight.
“Show me where she is,” I muttered.
Bren picked up her pace until we were jogging. All I could see in my head was that wretch, holding Grace so possessively. Smug and arrogant, wholly believing that simply because of his birth and wealth, the world would give him what he wanted. No matter what it cost her.
God, I hated nobles with a fire that could melt stone.
‘It is time, Voski,’ Kham sent as we ran.
‘Time for what?’
‘It is that time we once discussed. For you to use the things you were once taught. The Creator prepared you for this, whether you knew it or not. The weapons you were handed for ill… use them for good.’
I shuddered at the thought. But Kham wasn’t finished.
‘You have been equipped to play this particular game, with these particular people. Use that. They will not expect it from you. Use it to unbalance this Lord. Focus on winning by the strength of your wits, not your body.’
It was a gift of mine that my instincts recognized wisdom when I heard it. Which was why my failings with Grace were so humbling.
It hit me that my mate didn’t know I had seen my error. She didn’t know I’d intended to claim her, claim us, even before this bastard showed up.
What if he took her? What if she never learned that I was surrendered—
‘Stop choosing from fear. You know how to set that aside. You know how to meet these people in their cold, selfish places. Do it. But do it with the heart God gave you.’
I swallowed hard, then looked at Gil and Ronen. “I can do this. Just let me show him.”
“Show him what?” Ronen asked skeptically.
But Gil held eye contact.
“Show him he’s not the only asshole with a claim to Grace,” I said. And then smiled the way I knew would send the cold straight to a man’s testicles.
Ronen groaned, but Gil grinned back at me, shaking his head.
“Call me creepy,” he muttered.
In other circumstances, I would have laughed.