37. Unrest
SOUNDTRACK: In the Air Tonight by Sons of Legion
~ VOSKI ~
An hour later, after successfully shielding my soul from my mother’s claws, I bade her farewell and walked the empty halls to my rooms.
Traversing this grand, echoing house in the dark was the strangest tangle of emotions.
I didn’t have to think. I knew every inch of this place—including its secrets.
It required no effort from me to navigate it.
My feet automatically turned me toward the residential wing.
I knew the length of paces, and the angle needed to cut the corner of the intersection with the main corridor without banging my shoulder against the wall.
Though I had become broader since I left, and required a few more inches to clear it.
I knew both its shadowy corners, and those guarded by light.
And I knew its specters.
While my feet walked familiar carpets and halls, my heart sank deeper and deeper in dread.
In the corner of my vision, the shadows in the alcove on the second floor seemed to separate and slip away.
The flickering light of the candle left burning in the main hallway formed wavering figures on the opposite wall as I passed.
My senses were heightened, my pulse banging in my ears. Fear twisted my guts, and the skin on the back of my neck crawled with the impending sense that, at any moment, eyes would follow me, or a cold hand would descend.
This place was poison, and fear, darkness, and death. Just as Mother intended.
When I finally turned the corner into the residential wing and drew close to my rooms, I picked up my pace, while keeping my posture casual, and only looking straight ahead, though my ears were perked to even the slightest noise.
The old house creaked as the wind picked up outside—an eerie howl that might have been wind in the eaves, or some creature of darkness, conjured by my mother.
Adrenaline shot through my veins and shallowed my breath.
A massive tapestry on the wall beside my door showed the family crest—a shield separated by the hilt, blade, and quillons of a sword.
Each quadrant beautifully depicted apparently benign elements in surprising detail: A curved stalk with delicate leaves and small, white bell-shaped blooms in the upper left.
A hare in flight on the right. A beautiful woman, her head tipped over a spinning wheel by the light of the moon on the bottom left.
And a tree in full, spring growth on the right.
Only those with the knowledge of the symbols of darkness would understand, or catch the fine details.
Lily of the Valley. A hare in flight. The witch’s toil. And a blighted branch.
Poison. Fear. Darkness. Death.
Cold skated down my spine. I knew those elements, their true meanings, and the ways they were embraced in this home.
Careful to take my time opening the room, I paused in the doorway as if to scan it for nostalgia’s sake. In truth, I stretched my senses, looking for an intruder. A trap.
Nothing.
Swallowing to wet my throat, I stepped inside and closed the door behind me, turning the key to lock it. Not that it would stop her, if she was determined.
The upright chair I braced under the knob would do a better job.
I spent several silent minutes checking every possible corner, lever, and hidden access that might have been installed in my absence.
I knocked on walls to look for hollow spaces, checked paintings, bookshelves, even the fireplace, though it didn’t appear to have been worked upon since I’d lived here years earlier.
Eventually, satisfied that she hadn’t installed secret passages to the room, I stopped, expelled a tight breath, and took stock.
The sitting room of my chambers was cramped by family standards, but I’d always liked it.
Long, and narrow, with a piano at one end, and windows at the other, a wide fireplace in the middle of the long wall, and chairs that had once felt comfortable.
It was eerily familiar. And I found myself sucked back.
As if no time had passed at all. As if the past seven, almost eight years had been a dream.
Nothing had changed.
She’d told the servants I died. They’d believed her, if Mrs. Voss’s reaction was anything to go by. Yet, she’d never touched this room.
Because she knew.
The question was, why did she want me to find it unchanged?
Because she thought it would draw me?
No.
Because she knew it would turn my stomach.
I grimaced and strode into the bedchamber where my bags had been laid aside, now empty, and their contents placed in the drawers and wardrobe. A pitiful number of items for the grand furniture, but nothing was missing.
I wore the only coat that would be considered fine quality in this house. The rest were hardly the clothes of a noble, yet definitely not to be mistaken for a trade. And then there were the dresses and stockings.
What had the servants made of that?
Not that it mattered, since Mother had already been aware of Grace’s impending nuptials. Because she was already aware of Grace’s connection to me? Or because of Breckon’s place in her web?
Frowning, I turned instinctively to look in the direction I was sure my mother lay. But I caught myself and shook off the sudden chill. The answer wouldn’t change anything about my plan, and pursuing it only threatened to reveal more than I wished her to know.
Soon, I blew out the candles and slipped into the bed, which had been made with crisp, clean sheets. But my heart still pounded. I’d left the door open into the sitting room so I was more likely to hear any intruder, and I could see by the light of the dying fire.
A gust of wind rattled a shutter, and my heart leaped into my throat.
I sat back, against the headboard of the massive four-poster bed, made from ebony, and stared into those low flames, my skin prickling as I sent my senses out, searching for anything, or anyone, that shouldn’t be near.
Nothing.
I reached for Kham.
‘You made it. Just breathe,’ he murmured in my head immediately.
‘Did you listen? Did you hear it all?’
‘Yes.’
Thank God. I didn’t think I could stomach explaining it all again. ‘I think she’ll do it. But she’ll have a scheme. She’ll try to trap me, to keep the baby close.’
‘We will find our way. You were strong, and calm. I’m proud of you.’
I almost laughed, though it would have been morbid. ‘I am the furthest thing from calm. I feel like I’m about to jump out of my skin.’
‘You kept your head.’
‘I had to. There’s no room for error with her. None.’
Kham sent a rush of warm soothing through the bond, and even though it eased my heart, it barely touched my fear.
I pulled my knees up and leaned my elbows on them. The night was cool, but I felt hot. Flustered. My cheeks burned.
How was it possible I was here? How was it possible I’d just spent two hours with my mother? How was it possible I was still alive?
‘She will not end you. But she will attempt to control you.’
‘I know.’ It was my only safeguard with her—if I died, her legacy died with me. And she wasn’t prepared to let that happen. Yet.
‘You need to rest,’ Kham rumbled. ‘The days here will be long, and arduous.’
‘Make certain you stay out of sight. I’d rather lose touch with you for a short time than have them discover you.’
‘I am taking great care. But there’s little sign of humanity outside the house. This place is cold.’
I huffed. I knew that feeling. Cold that sank to your bones. Cold of the kind that chilled your heart even when you didn’t know why.
‘Voski?’
‘Yes?’
‘You are safe. If anything occurs, you need only call for me. I will tear that house down and flame her in it, if that’s what it takes. You will not be trapped here.’
I swallowed, simultaneously grateful, and shuddering, praying there was no need for the reassurance.
‘Thank you, Kham. Just… please. Find Koa. If you find Koa, you’ll find Grace.’
‘I’m not leaving you.’
‘But your mate—’
‘Will stay with her bonded one, as well. You will succeed in this endeavor, then we will be reunited, when we can do so with both of you safe.’
‘Mother hasn’t agreed yet. Not in any meaningful way.’
‘She will.’
I wasn’t sure whether to thank him for his confidence, or despair, because if he was right, I would have days, possibly weeks, in the presence of my mother.
An idea that made my heart heave.
Then an image popped into my head—one of Kham, crawling up the outside wall with a roar, punching talons through the ceiling, and tearing it back like a child ripping paper from a present.
‘I will keep you.’
I blew out a breath. Gratitude swelled in my chest. And a pinch of emotion so deep, it dried my throat.
‘Thank you.’
‘Now, turn your mind from this darkness. There will be plenty to navigate tomorrow. Rest.’
‘I’ll try.’
‘I will be quiet, but I’ll remain. Just send to me, and I’ll answer.’
I nodded and pulled the heavy quilt up and over my knees. But I didn’t lie down.
It felt too vulnerable to be unable to see through the open door. I knew I’d sag eventually, but for now I would stare into the flames and remember the light they cast over Grace’s skin. And remember her smile. And pray for her safety. And for that bastard Breckon’s imminent, painful death.
Sitting back with a sigh, I rolled my head on my neck and tried to relax the tense muscles at the base of my skull.
But it didn’t work.
The quieter the house became, the darker the night, the more my senses screamed. And every creak and rustle sent bolts of alarm through my body.
The door was locked. There were no secret passages into this room—a way she’d kept me restrained as a child, but now, a way I could reassure myself.
The windows and door were the only access to this space. And even mother wouldn’t climb three floors to the window. But the door? I couldn’t see it from the bed, even with the door open. Still, I’d hear it creak, or rattle. I’d hear the chair stop it if the door was pushed in.
And Kham was outside to help if anything went wrong.
Yet, I still couldn’t relax. I tried all the mental exercises we’d been trained to use in shiftwork, to help our bodies move toward sleep, even at odd times, or in uncomfortable positions.
But, my ears remained perked. Muscles tight. Mind constantly turning back to the look in her eyes when I’d said there was a baby.
I was relieved to know I’d correctly assessed her connection with this treasonous scheme we’d uncovered in Fyrehold. But that still left me here to deal with the knot that was unraveling before my eyes.
The devil. I’d made a deal with the devil.
And the frightening thing was, she might honor it. But at what price? What would she attempt to extract if she couldn’t manipulate me into her web again?
An image of her eyes in that moment when she’d realized there was an heir about to enter the world bloomed in my head, and I shuddered.
The cold, keen eagerness. The hunger. The devious intent.
God, she was dark.
‘Rest, Voski.’
‘I can’t. Not when I know she’s near.’
Kham went quiet in the bond, and I knew he’d be considering options. Attempting to identify a way to get me out of here, so I could sleep, but I shook my head.
‘She can’t know I’m afraid. She can know I need her, but I can’t let her know she torments me. She would use it.’
Kham sighed. ‘She is a truly dark soul. My spirit is cold on thoughts of her.’
My brows popped up. The dragons were very perceptive, and Kham especially so, as a gold. But to them, humans posed no serious risk. His faith in God’s plan, coupled with his exceeding strength and the heat of his fire, meant he didn’t fear people, except, perhaps, in how they might hurt me.
But for him to say that…
‘You can feel it in her?’
‘I can feel it in every inch of this place. Darkness sits on the throne here. It’s welcomed. It’s ushered in.’
His shudder gave me a sense of relief. If he was uneasy, then I wasn’t just weak to her.
‘I have never claimed you were weak to carry dread about what happened here, Voski. I only wished for you to face the fear and be free.’
I gave a dry huff. ‘Is this what you had in mind?’
‘Not in the slightest.’
I wanted to smile at his sardonic tone. Hope bubbled in my chest for the first time. ‘Thank you, Kham.’
‘For what?’
‘For being strong enough to acknowledge when you feel something. Anything.’
‘If I’d known that was all it would take to earn your admiration, I would have wept on your bosom years ago,’ he drawled.
I snorted at the mental image of my massive, powerful dragon, sobbing into my chest.
He rumbled, muttering in the link, not entirely free of masculine pride.
I grinned. ‘Don’t worry. I refuse to stay here a moment longer than needed. From tomorrow, I’ll maneuver Mother. And when she moves, we’ll get Grace back. I’ll feed Mother to the queen at the first opportunity. I just need Grace in my hands, first. Safe. Unharmed.’
‘Keep your eyes open to schemes, but otherwise, close them. And sleep,’ he added dryly. ‘Your mother won’t interfere with Grace as long as she believes she carries a babe.’
‘Damn right she won’t. Because she’ll have to get through me.’
And though I still couldn’t relax enough to sleep, it was a relief to have spoken the words out. Because they were true. I prayed them, over and over.
Make me strong enough.
Make me smart enough.
Make me courageous enough.
And make that arrogant prick keep his hands off of her.
Nothing could happen to Grace. I wouldn’t allow it.