47. Do Not Break
SOUNDTRACK: Burn it Down by Added Color
~ GRACE ~
It was two days’ carriage ride to the castle.
I wondered again why we hadn’t taken the dragons, assuming they could have done the trip in a few hours.
But I had no wish to speak to Breckon. Let alone fuel his sense of power over me.
The man was a bug. Yet, it appeared he held more influence and knowledge than I’d realized.
I turned the events over in my mind in the endless hours of the creaking, swaying carriage miles. I needed a plan.
Breckon hadn’t mentioned the book, or the blade. So, I didn’t either.
We passed those long hours in virtual silence.
On the second morning of travel, the landscapes very quickly became familiar and my nerves fizzed.
We would reach the castle soon. Had I been sitting on the other seat, facing forward in our travel, I knew I could have glimpsed the city rising in the distance at times.
I’d traveled this road many times in my life.
I began to lean forward, closer to the window, watching for familiar sights, wondering how long it would take Voski to find me—and whether I’d be able to escape alone before he did.
“I wouldn’t get any ideas,” Breckon drawled, sitting back in his seat, that small, smug smile still on his face.
I was shocked—had he heard my thoughts? “Our people will not be kind if they learn of your cheating—and before you decide to plead to your parents, consider who was the one to retrieve you from your adventure. Your parents were as anxious to see you returned to me as the king himself. They will not aid you. If you cause any problems, retribution will come, and not just from me.” His jaw rolled.
He’d been looking out the window, but now he met my eyes, leaned forward, elbows on his knees, so that he encroached rudely on my space.
“You will keep up appearances,” he said bluntly.
“I know your pretty little mind is working, but now is time to apply all that energy to our success. If you do not, I will be forced to share with our king about your forays into uncharted waters. He will not be pleased. You thwart more plans than you know.”
I looked at him flatly. “While you may impress your will upon others with the king’s opinion, they seek his favor. I do not.”
His smile became cutting. “I have invested a great deal of time, money, and effort into finding you, Grace. Your courage to face the king’s wrath is admirable, but will not help you. Because two of those who seek his favor are your parents. And they seek it very, very desperately.”
That coiled chill in my heart that had niggled since the moment he’d indicated to Queen Diaan of Vosgaarde that the Fyrehold King had a personal investment in my marriage, turned frigid, and brittle.
“My parents hardly visit Court—”
“Your parents are in desperate need of both funds, and friends, Grace. You know that. I have bought them both. They are very grateful. But perhaps more importantly, you should know: if you become the barrier to our plans, if you live through it, you will be the one to stand by and watch your parents ruined. By me. By the king. And by any who seek his favor—not yourself, as you’ve made very clear,” he said with a sardonic smile.
“But make no mistake, if I am embarrassed in any way, or made to appear inadequate by any means, if you escape me, I meant what I said: you will watch your family slowly but surely destroyed. Piece by piece. First, their reputation, of course. The court will hear what a harlot their daughter is, and the failing of their parentage. Then, as they retreat in humiliation, the last of their straggling herds will be stolen, or become ill. Their staff, seeing the tide turn, will leave for better offers. And then, when they attempt to teach themselves how to stay alive by means of their remaining land, the debtors will come calling. They will be on the streets within months, unrecognizable to their peers. Every door closed in their face—even their former animals will enjoy stables of higher quality than will be available to them, because the king will make certain no one in Fyrehold would dare shelter them,” he said coldly.
“And you will watch it. All of it. I will ensure that you do. In fact, it would be my greatest pleasure to give you a front row seat.”
I stared the daggers at him that I wished I could throw. “So, you’re not just an ass, but a sadistic one?” I said before I could think through the consequences.
To my surprise, he laughed. “You can turn the accusatory finger back on yourself,” he said with a dismissive wave of his hand.
“I was eager to please you, my dear. Confident of my ability to both provide for, and satisfy you—and yet, you ran. Like a child. Leaving me to pick up the pieces. Oh, yes, Lady Barnslow, I would take pleasure in watching you suffer for the pain you caused me.”
“Pain?” I pretended shock, fluttering a hand at my chest. “You were hurt by my retreat? Come now, Breckon. We’re to be married. Let’s not begin our matrimony sprawled on a bed of lies.”
He huffed and smiled that cold smile again. It made my skin crawl, because he let my words hang in the air.
Sprawled. Bed. Matrimony.
I swallowed and prayed he was too busy staring at my cleavage to notice. “I’ll make you a deal,” I said finally.
“I have no need to deal with you. You are not in a position to—”
“We both know the court will be waiting to watch the show, Breckon,” I said frankly.
“No matter how I bow, or curl my hand in your elbow, they will watch, and they will know that I fled you. And no matter how your power may be made evident in returning me against my will, we both know the murmurs that will rise in the corners, the whispers behind your back when you’ve passed.
The looks cast toward your bald pate when you cross the ballroom… ”
His gaze turned flat. He wasn’t unnerved.
But he knew the truth of what I said. I pressed on.
“I will make you a deal to benefit you: You do not touch me before the wedding, and I will be the convincing fiancée, the relieved adventurer who met more than she bargained for and is now humbled. I will play grateful. As long as you keep your hands to yourself, I will be your shield from the endless gossip and ridicule.”
There was a beat of silence as he leaned forward until our noses almost touched. Then he lifted one hand and stroked my cheek, his fingertips barely brushing my jaw. I shivered, but didn’t back down, and his smile grew wicked.
“I will not fuck you, Grace,” he said in a guttural rasp. “I will not risk having to raise another man’s bastard. But I will touch you whenever I please.” When he didn’t break eye contact or move away, I went very still, my heart beginning to thud with fear.
Then he leaned closer, to whisper in my ear. “And, I’ll enjoy taming you, when all this is done.”
I swallowed to make him believe his threat had worked, but was grateful when, outside, far in the distance, but just close enough to hear, Koa screamed. She rushed my heart with love and protective rage—but I silently warned her off.
He toyed with me. Wrestling back his power. I knew how to wait out a man’s ego.
But there was no need. At the sound of Koa’s distant scream, Breckon leaned back in his seat and looked out the window, smug. “Just like we did with those fucking creatures.”
I huffed, but those words were far more unsettling to me than his coarse words about bastard children. Because I’d seen those deflated, despairing dragons—and Koa was deeply unsettled by them. To know he’d personally had something to do with that…
‘I will free you, Grace.’ Koa’s voice was both kind, and determined.
‘I know you will. I’m so grateful for you, Koa. But we have to be careful. Others will pay if I’m seen to rebel or escape. I have to find a way out of this that forces him to free me by choice.’
‘He will not choose good for you over himself. His heart is dark.’
‘Luckily, our mates hearts are not. They’ll find us, Koa. I know they will.’
‘I believe, also.’
Yet, there had still been no sign—even for Koa who could stretch her mind far farther than I was capable…
even she hadn’t sensed Kham, yet. But they would come.
I didn’t know what had held them up so far.
I only knew that gap in my chest that was shaped like Voski, ached, and simmered. He hadn’t abandoned me. I was certain.
I looked down at my hands, fingers twined in my skirts, and sighed, letting Breckon believe he was already on his way to destroying my hope.
I didn’t want to admit to myself, or to Koa, that I feared what would happen if Voski and Kham continued to be held up.
“What day is the wedding?” I asked, suddenly scrambling to count the days I’d been with him, and the travel, against his previous statements about the wedding and coming up unclear. Breckon looked surprised, but obviously couldn’t see any harm in my knowing, because he answered clearly.
“Eight days hence,” he said.
“Thank you,” I said calmly.
He nodded, but continued to watch me for a reaction. I didn’t let it register on my face, but for a moment it was hard to breathe.
Eight days. I had eight days to figure out how to make Breckon decide he didn’t want me, or… or I would have to find a way to kill him without any evidence I was behind it, whether Voski and Kham made it or not.