55. Need You
~ GRACE ~
We both returned to sanity in pieces. Every limb trembling. Even lips.
For long moments, I stared at the wall in front of me, at his hand, gripping mine, his fingers curled around mine so tightly, and the thought of losing that touch—which had to happen—made me shiver again.
Voski still leaned at my back, but he held me against him, straightening, steadying his stance, preparing to leave me. I knew he had to. We must. This should never have happened. The risk… but I couldn’t regret it.
So, when he didn’t let me go right away, I didn’t protest. I stayed in his arms. Remained leaning against him. Fighting the urge to take him, run, and never look back. If he’d made it in here, he could get me out. They’d find out quickly but—
“Are you still taking the herbs?” he croaked, jolting me out of fantasy and back to reality.
A piece of my heart sank. “I’ve only got a few days left.”
“I’ll get you more.”
Neither of us spoke, but the spell had been broken. We separated slowly. I couldn’t help but smile when he cursed, leaving me. But then took a moment to clean me up, whispering all the time—while his hands trembled on my skin.
“I have a plan, Grace. You aren’t alone. You’re never alone—even if you can’t see me, I’m near. I promise.”
“I know,” I whispered, nodding. “I can feel you.”
He turned me then, staring down at me, his eyes flicking back and forth between mine, his mouth turned down at the corners. But his shaking hands, when he lifted them to cup my face, were gentle.
And then he kissed me.
Not the fierce, needy clash of minutes before. But the soft, tender sip of love.
Pleasure, need, and adoration pebbled my skin.
I gripped his lapels and pulled him in, a sob escaping my throat.
And his hands tightened on me in response.
We stumbled back a step together. But he cupped my head, protected my hair from the rough stone wall as he tilted his head to take the kiss deeper.
There was a clunk, a faint sound, but it came from the room where Breckon had disappeared with the royals, and we both scrambled.
I gasped, as Voski whirled, one arm around my waist, pulling me back to the door, pressing me out, under the curtain, hurriedly checking my hair and my dress—his fingers trembling when he tucked one strand behind my ear, then stared at me.
We both went still.
‘We have to let go.’
He nodded. Neither of us moved.
‘Voski—’
‘You must take care, Firebird!’ Koa whispered in my mind.
I leaned up on my toes, eyes screwed tightly shut against tears, as I gripped the back of his neck, kissed him soundly, then let go.
He made a tiny, broken noise in his throat, but he released me, sinking back into the hidden passage, pulling the door with him, as I slipped out from behind the curtains in the way I’d learned over years of practice.
Move with the shape of what hides you, cause as little disruption as possible.
There was another click, but I stood before the curtain, in the now-empty room. And though adrenaline coursed through my veins, I didn’t move.
My vision blurred.
My skin felt cold.
My heart sang because I knew he was there. Right there. Just inches from me. And yet, to reach him was as impossible as to fly without my dragon.
The injustice of it, the frustration, the pure grief was overwhelming. I dropped my face into my hands and sobbed.
Moments later, the door creaked quietly.
I inhaled sharply and tried to raise my chin, but tears still ran down my cheeks when the queen leaned out of the door to look for me. And to my surprise, her expression softened with compassion.
Our eyes met and she placed a hand to her chest. But didn’t speak. Then she moved to close the door, and as she turned away, I heard the beginning of her words.
“She remains. She is tired. You have—”
All sound disappeared again with the click of that door.
I slumped. ‘She was just making certain I remained here, I think.’
‘That bastard keeps a tight leash.’
I huffed. ‘Yes. He does.’ I didn’t send him images of the constraints I’d lived under at the estate, or the way my hand lost blood flow when Breckon tightened his elbow against his side because I displeased him.
They were petty complaints. And would only anger Voski.
Instead, as I dropped to the bench, with my back to the door, because I wanted to be facing Voski, not Breckon, I wiped my cheeks and took a deep breath to steady myself.
My hands were still trembling. My body still pulsing quietly with the after-shocks of pleasure.
‘I have missed you so badly,’ I sent him in a plaintive voice. ‘I need you.’
‘I need you, as well. And this… it can’t sustain. Don’t worry. I won’t leave you. I’m figuring it out.’
I gave a sad smile to the ceiling as I lay down on the bench, letting my dress crush on the back—again—and rested my hands on my stomach.
‘We’ll figure it out.’
I was about to tell him my plan, to release him from doing something stupid if we got to the wedding ceremony without victory, but there was another noise from inside the office. A thunk, as if something heavy had been dropped. A book on the floor, or some such.
We both went still.
And I exhaled slowly, my eyes dragging down with such intense weariness, I worried I might have been drugged.
But Voski felt it and stroked me in the bond. ‘Rest. I’m here. I’ll watch for you.’
‘No! I’m going to talk to you while I can!’
‘There’s no need, Grace. I’m here now. I’m not leaving without you. This is it. I’ll be here every moment…
And as he continued to reassure me, telling me all the ways he loved me and all the things we’d do when we were finally free of this mess, I finally relaxed. For the first time in weeks. My limbs felt heavy. My mind began to fog.
And I fell asleep to the sound of his voice in my head.
I dreamed that we sat in the gardens, hidden from everyone, sitting on a bench together, hands clasped, speaking. Telling each other everything that had happened, and everything we would see together when this was done.
So, I was disoriented when I heard a door click and my eyes flew open again.
I sat, bolt upright, blinking, looking for Voski. Only to find Breckon standing before me, grinning hungrily.
“What… what has—”
“Good choice to rest,” he said, gesturing impatiently. “Wake up. Get up. We need to return to the ball and be seen. But we’ll have you back at your rooms before too long. I, too, am weary. Come.” He snapped his fingers at me like a dog, and instinctively, I leaped to my feet.
In my head, Voski snarled a curse, but I sent him a rush of reassurance as I straightened my skirt—and had to hide a smile as thoughts of his hands on me filled my mind.
‘It’s only days now,’ I sent, my heart fluttering as much with hope, as dread. ‘Only days. And I’ll never leave your side again.’
He didn’t respond with words, but as Breckon tucked my hand under his elbow again and drew me out of the door through which we’d entered, I saw what Voski saw in his mind, and it heated my cheeks.
Me, naked and arched in his arms, in the half-light of the hut, with no one to hear my cries except him.
‘Mine.’
I left the dim little corridor, nodding to the guards, with a smile on my face.
‘Yes, love. Yours. To my soul.’