Chapter Forty-Two
Grace heard Rosie’s key in the lock and the excitement that had stopped her from being able to sit or eat all afternoon surged afresh. She grabbed her bag and rushed into the hall to greet her daughter.
‘You look lovely,’ she said, admiring Rosie’s maroon maxi dress and chunky boots.
‘So do you,’ said Rosie. ‘You ready?’ Grace nodded and made for the porch, but Rosie put a hand on her arm. ‘Just a sec.’ She nodded towards the study. ‘Come with me.’
They entered Frank’s study and put on the overhead light. ‘He’d have hated having the big light on,’ said Rosie, smiling.
‘True,’ said Grace, turning to take in Frank’s chair, his books and the photograph of their family.
‘I just wanted to breathe him in before we go,’ said Rosie. ‘To take a bit of him with us. Do you know what I mean?’
Grace understood completely. She wrapped her arm around her daughter’s waist and pulled her close.
Rosie leaned in. ‘I’ve done my crying, by the way,’ she said. ‘I let all the grief out in one ugly torrent. Paz thought I was having a breakdown, bless him. Almost called an ambulance.’ She kissed the top of Grace’s head. ‘I wanted you to know it’s not bottled up anymore.’
Grace nodded and held her daughter tighter, grateful that Rosie had the kind of husband who would support her, even when she acted in a way he didn’t fully comprehend.
‘They say grief is the price we pay for love, don’t they?
’ They stood together, surveying the room filled with the books Frank cherished. ‘He’d be so proud of you.’
‘He’d be proud of both of us,’ said Rosie. ‘Just like we’re proud of the man he was. Tonight is about his legacy. We’re making sure he’ll never be forgotten.’ She lifted her head and faced her mother, a wide grin on her face. ‘So let’s get this show on the road.’
***
Grace watched Annie as she stood behind the bar in the small room off The Bull’s Head ballroom, beaming at the members of book club who’d turned up early to set up for the event.
Annie had started working there four evenings a week, and even her bright smile couldn’t disguise the dark, puffy circles under her eyes.
‘The room looks great, doesn’t it?’ she said.
Grace agreed. They’d all worked so hard in the lead-up to this event and Grace was astonished at how much they’d achieved in the last month.
They’d spent all afternoon putting up the bunting Jude ordered with Reading Rocks in primary colours and laying out booklets detailing the auction lots.
The booklet ended up being fifteen pages long, despite the small type, because so many members of the writing community had made generous pledges.
The auction ended at eleven p.m. that evening and Grace was trying to ignore the fact that some of the lots didn’t yet have bids on them, and others hadn’t raised anywhere near what she’d hoped.
Any amount they raised would be better than nothing, she reminded herself.
‘Naomi Newton’s messaged to say her train’s on time,’ said Crush. ‘This is wild. I’m more excited to meet her than I was when I first met Obama.’
‘You met Barack Obama?’ said Jude, dropping the string of bunting he was trying to attach to the top of the patio doors out to the beer garden. ‘And you’ve never told us that?’
‘Twice,’ said Crush, winking a vivid blue eye. She looked past him and let out a shriek. ‘Dani!’ She rushed to the door and flung herself on a scowling woman with a shaved head and a tattoo of a Celtic shield covering her neck and clavicle.
‘Get off,’ said the woman.
Crush gave her a loud kiss on the cheek. ‘Everyone, meet Dani, Parker’s vocalist and officially the angriest woman in the world.’
‘Fuck off,’ said Dani. She turned to the others. ‘Hi.’
‘Don’t be fooled by her pit-bull demeanour,’ said Crush.
‘She’s a doll, really.’ She kissed the woman again and was rewarded by a shove in the stomach.
Crush dragged Dani over to the group by a skinny arm.
‘Now play nicely. You’re forty-two. You’re way too old to give off too cool for school vibes. ’
‘I’m forty-one,’ said Dani. ‘What are we drinking?’
Crush shook her head. ‘Rosie, I’m putting you in charge of Dani. Don’t let her drink anything alcoholic until fifteen minutes before the set.’
‘Jesus.’ Dani rolled her eyes.
Rosie approached, looking meeker than Grace had ever seen her. ‘Rosie Clarke, nice to meet you.’ She held out her hand, then dropped it when Dani just peered at her as if working out what planet she was from.
‘I know your name. You’re not a photographer, are you?’
Rosie blinked and appeared to unfurl like a flower in direct sunlight. ‘I am, actually.’
‘Did you do that exhibition of Egyptian geese? My partner works at the London Wetland Centre, and he creamed himself when he saw those shots. He bought one; put it over the bed.’
‘No actual way.’ Rosie shook her head. ‘You’ve blown my mind.’
‘You’re good, man,’ Dani said, allowing Rosie to lead her over to a table, and looking far less like she was imminently about to murder someone.
‘She seems nice,’ said Grace, laughing. Grace couldn’t help liking the woman, despite her outwardly terrifying appearance.
‘Honestly, she’s got a heart of gold, not that she’d let anyone see it,’ said Crush. ‘She’s got her demons, though. Are you even a creative if you’re not mashed in the head?’
‘Story checks,’ said Jude, trying again to secure the end of the bunting. Jasmine joined him to help.
‘Are you sure we should be saying mashed in the head when we’re involved in fundraising to support people with mental health issues?’ said Tracy, one eyebrow raised.
‘I can think of a few more choice phrases that would apply to my friends, but I take your point,’ said Crush.
Annie let out a groan from behind the bar. ‘I can’t believe I’m stuck behind here tonight instead of out there with you lot.’
A short man with a round face joined her behind the bar. ‘What are you still doing here?’ he said.
Annie squinted at him. ‘I’m working. I’m on the rota.’ Her nose wrinkled. ‘Aren’t I?’
The man stared at Grace. ‘You haven’t told her?’
Lee, Tracy and Harry joined Grace in a smiling huddle. ‘Not yet,’ said Grace.
‘What’s going on?’ said Annie, her eyes flitting between all of them.
‘We couldn’t let you miss tonight, so we begged this kind gentleman’ – Tracy gestured to the short man, who was rolling up the sleeves of his white shirt ready to get started – ‘to cover the bar and give you the night off, paid.’
Annie opened her mouth wide, then covered it with her hand.
There were tears in her eyes when she gave the man a grateful squeeze of the arm and came to stand with her friends on the other side of the bar.
‘Thank you,’ she said, rising up on her toes, then dropping, exuding excited energy.
‘Now, give me a job. I felt awful leaving everything up to you lot while I did my Bet Lynch impression behind there.’
‘Who?’ said Tracy.
‘Barmaid at The Rovers Return,’ said Lee. ‘Coronation Street icon for over twenty-five years.’
‘Can’t imagine why your wife left you,’ said Tracy. ‘With knowledge like that at your fingertips.’ She laughed and punched him on the arm.
‘Funnily enough, she rang me today. She was all flirty, and asked if there was a spare ticket for tonight.’
Grace eyed him, wondering what response would be most supportive. All she really wanted to say was, I hope you told her to get stuffed. ‘And?’
‘I asked her why she wanted to come, and she gave me a load of flannel about how she’d underestimated me. She’d seen all the social media stuff and realized she might have made a mistake, that she’d been too hasty and perhaps we should give it another go.’
‘Really?’ Grace kept her face neutral.
‘She said the bloke she left me for was boring.’ Lee crossed his arms. ‘Where have we heard that before?’
‘Oh, please tell me you told her to shove her smarming up her arse,’ said Tracy, letting her head fall back.
‘I told her that if she found me boring and him boring, then there was only one common denominator.’
‘Yes!’ Tracy pulled her fist into her middle, the defined muscles rippling up her arm. ‘Go on, my son.’
‘So, she won’t be joining us for this evening’s elevated entertainment?’ said Harry. ‘Quite right too. I suspect there may be a few eligible readers more worthy of your company in this very establishment within the hour.’
‘I’m proud of you,’ said Grace. ‘Your partner should be your greatest admirer and most avid cheerleader. Don’t settle for less.
’ She turned to look at the framed photo of Frank which Annie had placed on the corner of the bar.
She felt he was here with them, in her heart and those of his wonderful friends, who had now become cherished people in her life too.
He was here in the DNA of Rosie and Jude, her precious, life-embracing family.
Her eyes were drawn up to a glitterball on the ceiling, turning slowly, casting off brilliant, dazzling sparks and every one felt like a message from her husband; find the light, he was saying, it’s everywhere. All you need to do is look for it.