Prologue
“Have everything you need?” I ask, chewing on my bottom lip.
Harris stands in front of me with his best friends, hands shoved in his pockets as he nods.
“We do. We gotta go. Our manager says that we have to get our asses to the City of Angels by tomorrow night,” he says with a forced smile. “I promise we’ll call, okay?”
Harrison Nores, Trick Vines, and Noa Ryan have been my best friends since I was three years old. It didn’t matter that they were older than me by a couple of years, we were all inseparable. And now…they’re leaving for greater things.
I can’t tell them I’ve been in love with them for years, or that my heart is breaking into a million pieces. I have more self awareness in my pinky finger than most eighteen year olds, and the irony isn’t lost to me.
It’s their dream to share their music with the world, and I can’t hold them back.
Taking a deep breath, I nod shakily, burying the tears threatening to spill over. The three of them are alphas, and it’ll hurt my best friends if I show how devastated I am. I’m a late bloomer, and my designation presented itself six months ago.
I’ve been lying to my best friends. God, I’m a liar.
I’m so hopped up on heat suppressant medication, I feel slightly dizzy. I can’t let them know that I’m an omega. They’ll never leave then. They’ll worry too much about the fact that they’re leaving me alone.
“Yeah, I mean, okay,” I reply softly. “Be safe. You’re going to be amazing, I know it.”
“You’re not going to let us leave without a proper send off, are you?” Trick asks, his pierced brow raised.
Anyone who thought these guys wouldn’t be right where they are now, is out of their minds. They have the rockstar vibe down with their wild, dyed hair and piercings. I have no doubt they’ll add tattoos soon as well.
I’m going to miss all of that.
“What do you—”
Trick’s hand reaches out and grabs mine, yanking me to his chest, effectively shutting me up. His arms wrap around me tightly, and I choke back a sob as I hug him back.
“Did you think you were fooling anyone?” he breathes into my dark hair. “Baby, it’s okay to be sad.”
They’ve always called me cute names in private, yet I’ve always felt firmly friend-zoned.
Noa says that my parents wanted me to have a normal life, and fucking would be rockstars is definitely the opposite of that.
I had hoped with a tiny sliver of my heart that things would change when I turned eighteen six months ago, but it never did.
Now, it’s just too late.
“It’s not okay,” I mumble against his chest, heaving in a breath. His leather jacket smells like home. I’ll never be able to forget how much work went into getting it. He’s had it since he turned fifteen, and has slung it over my shoulders to keep me warm more times than I can count.
He worked as a mechanic’s gopher for a year to afford it.
His natural woodsy scent had a distinct car oil smell to it that made me grin, knowing he was fighting to afford something important to him.
We went out and celebrated with burgers at the local diner the day he bought it, and the first thing he did was put it around my shoulders, saying that I should be the first one to wear it.
I’ve been slapped by girls that were interested in them and told I was cock blocking them with my presence more times than I’ll ever admit aloud. It’s never been like that between my best friends and I.
They’re my everything, and I don’t think they have a clue. Even jokes about how my parents would have a cow if they made a move are said in jest. They don’t mean it.
Besides, how could I choose between them? I can’t. I won’t be the whiny little omega who broke apart Frozen Hearts. They deserve fame, happiness, and their music.
Even if it means that I have to move on.
“You don’t need to be worried about me,” I mumble, pulling away from Trick.
His magenta hair is in his face as he gives me a sad smile.
No amount of excitement can stop the knowledge that everything is changing.
We’ll never be able to hang out all weekend without any commitments.
They’re too busy for that now. “Give me hugs and then get on the road.”
I’ve already planned this out, but I have to force myself to hold onto my resolve as Noa and Harris hug me goodbye.
“Don’t get into trouble, yeah?” Harris teases. I take one last chance to breathe in his caramel apple scent, the same way I catalogued Noa's mocha one in my mind when he hugged me.
When I’m alone, I’ll hold tight to these memories.
Getting jumped at parties is never my fault. The guys are always with me, and that’s why I’d get into fights. I refuse to be taunted and hit because the girls in this town seem to think that I’m in their way.
I know the guys aren’t virgins, but I don’t need to know the details. They keep that to themselves.
It’s something that I appreciate, because continuing to be their friend would be really difficult if they flaunted their conquests in my face.
As it is, the girls in this town still tell me things that only someone who has seen them intimately would know.
I’ve skinny dipped with them at the lake often, and I know where all of their piercings and scars are.
Harris has his frenulum pierced, Trick has his nipples done, and I went with Noa to hold his hand when he had his Jacob’s ladder done. I know their bodies as well as my own. I hate hearing the barbed insults out of those girls’ mouths, telling me I’m too ugly to be noticed.
It doesn’t matter. I won’t be around to hear it anymore. The second that those taillights are gone, I’m leaving Marinette, Wisconsin. I won’t be able to deal with my parents overbearing demeanor without the guys around.
I was only allowed to go out and do anything because I was with my best friends. It doesn’t matter that I'm an adult, my parents will expect that I go to a special college with the intent of getting packed up.
That’s the last thing I want to do.
“I’ll do my best to be a good girl,” I say dully.
Noa winces as he hears the sarcasm in my words, his gray eyes filling with pain.
Sighing heavily, I take a step backward as if to ward off the feelings that dredges up.
I walked the three blocks to the fully furnished rental they shared together.
Everything is packed now into Harris’s SUV, all that’s left is for me to walk away.
Forever.
I don’t fit into their lives anymore, and I know it.
“Drive safely,” I murmur. “You should get on the road so you can go be awesome.”
“You are going to answer when we call,” Harris growls under his breath, making me shiver with the tease of his alpha bark.
His brows draw down at my reaction, because it’s never affected me before.
“Orla?” he asks. “What was that?”
Swallowing hard, I realize that I have the power to fuck up their lives. A big ole grenade into their perfectly built chance to make it big.
I can’t. I won’t.
The shrill ring of Trick’s phone pulls his attention away, and I take a slightly deeper breath as anxiety slides through me. This is it.
“Hey, Maurice,” he says, taking a step back as he answers. “No, we’re on the road.”
The words drop from his lips as if they’re true, and I hide a smile.
Their agent found them playing in a dive bar and was blown away by their sound. That night was both a blessing and a curse, and I remember clearly how excited I was for them. I wish I’d known then how much it would hurt to say goodbye.
“We may be running a little late,” Harris murmurs, shrugging. “We were waiting for you to get your butt over here.”
“Me?” I ask quietly, ignoring Trick as he lies his ass off.
“We couldn’t not say goodbye, O,” Noa snorts, reaching out to tug on my braid. The sun is beginning its descent in the sky, which means they’ll be driving in the dark.
“Seriously, pick up the phone, okay?” Harris insists, his green eyes gazing at me as if he can glare into my soul.
I’m hiding so much right now, and on some level, they have to know there’s something wrong.
“Okay,” I whisper. I’m not the only one who’s good at lying. I’ve been doing it since I realized my feelings for them. “You should get going before your manager figures out Trick is lying.”
Hanging up, Trick smirks.
“I think he knows,” he says. “We’ll talk to you soon. Love you.”
My heart seizes as I nod. They’ve been saying that they love me for forever it seems. It feels bigger than it should today.
“I love you too,” I rasp, watching as the three of them pile into the vehicle. Raising my hand in one, last goodbye, I watch as they drive in the opposite direction to my house.
My heart pounds as I watch Trick brake and slowly turn left. A tear finally drops onto my cheek, where they’re met with more as I cry.
“I’ll be okay,” I tell myself, turning away and walking back the way I came.
Except, I’m not going back home. I dumped my backpack in the bushes on my way over and left my phone under my pillow. I’m bringing only what I can, and I have money that I’ve been hoarding since the guys told me that they’d been signed. I have six hundred dollars to my name.
I’m only bringing the bare necessities. I don’t want anyone to ask questions about why I’m walking around with a giant bag. As it is, it may get back to my parents that I’m out late alone, but by that point, I’ll be gone.
I also responded to a roommate ad in Minneapolis, which is also where I applied for a job. My new roommate told me that the alpha who runs a bar that recently opened needs another bartender. I’ve been making drinks for years, despite my age.
I have it all planned out. Pulling out a hoody that I stole from Noa, I pull it over my head and thread my arms through, before ensuring that the hood is over my head.
I almost forgot that I shoved it inside the bag.
This will help give me a little anonymity at least. Slinging the strap of my backpack over my shoulder, I tell myself this is necessary.
I’m not strong enough to stay. I have to cut my ties completely.
This is what’s best. If I say it enough times, eventually I’ll believe it.