Chapter 36
Amyra
I have been trying hard to weave the brand design and philosophy for a particular project since this afternoon, but my mind seems incapable of cracking the code.
It is incredibly frustrating, and perhaps the first time I have felt this dumb, failing to concentrate on work.
I am not someone who gives up easily, so I keep trying again and again, only to circle back to the same dead end.
When I glance at the wall clock, I realise the working hours are long over, yet I am still stuck, unable to finish the task. I have always preferred wrapping things up the same day instead of carrying them forward or postponing them. That habit now feels irritatingly ironic.
A similar thought crosses my mind is how I ended things with Reyansh. I almost rejected him immediately after hearing his confession. Even though I asked for time, I turned him down right away, a decision I regret at times.
After a month of relentless overthinking, I understood how naturally humans stumble into mistakes, just as Reyansh did. Yet I cannot erase how his recklessness shattered the peace of three lives and became the cause of so much hurt.
No matter how much I motivate myself to return to normal with him, I cannot bring myself closer.
I am afraid of him repeating the same mistake if I give him another chance.
And then there is Aditi. The embarrassment, the awkwardness, the guilt of being the reason for their break-up make me run in the opposite direction, desperate to avoid crossing paths with her.
But over the past month, I have realised one thing that I do not want to lose the chance of being with Reyansh.
What holds me back is the constant worry about how Aditi would feel and whether I could ever make peace with my decision.
Maybe I should get over this feeling if I have a heart-to-heart talk with Aditi once.
She will surely understand, as she knows me well.
Living without interacting with Reyansh has been pure torture.
Before he confessed and became the love of my life, he was my best friend, the one who stood by me through every phase, unknowingly making me dependent on his presence.
And now, I kept him at a distance. He tried reaching out a few times with texts, calls, but I cut him short, ignored them, or replied with curt, single-word responses.
Above all, I am terrified to confess my unrequited love for him, carried all these years silently, so carefully hidden, that I never let even a minor hint slip. I cannot imagine how he would react.
Would he be happy that I finally reciprocate his love, or annoyed that I concealed it for so long?
I do not know how I am going to lead this, but I cannot suppress the craving to feel the warmth of being in his arms, now that I know he confessed his love to me ,and Aditi is no more in the picture, as they had their break-up.
Just once, I decided to see him, maybe that would guide me toward the right path. Maybe his reassurance, the promise of fixing things, could soften my hesitation. But I feel embarrassed to initiate a meeting after the way I pushed him away, clearly asking him not to interfere in my life.
Still… he could at least try to persuade me, right? After all, it has been a month since we last saw each other.
Shaking off my spiralling thoughts, I refocus on the sketch paper spread across my desk, my pen hovering uselessly above it. Nothing comes to mind.
“God, why can’t I just concentrate and finish this? Why is it so hard to give up?”
The words escape in a heavy, muffled tone as tears blur my vision. I lean forward onto the cold surface of the office desk, eyes shut, crying silently until the faint creak of the door reaches my ears, followed by a familiar male voice.
“Because you’re stuck right now and afraid of making changes.”
My throat dries instantly. The sheer weight of hearing his voice after so long, floods my heart, and I struggle not to break down in front of him.
I wipe my tears with my sleeves and slowly lift my head, only to find him standing right there.
His handsome face remains unchanged, save for the stubble that has shaped into a neatly trimmed beard and the faint dark circles under his eyes, hinting at sleepless nights much like my own.
“R-Rey! Y-you’re here!” I stammer, scrambling to my feet as nervous tension grips my chest.
“Why do you lock yourself away like this, Ames? Why can’t you just move on, whether it’s from work or your feelings?
” His deep, captivating voice sends shivers down my spine.
Hearing him after a month is oddly comforting.
I know he’s emphasizing the last word intentionally, yet I hold my tongue, forcing my face to remain expressionless.
“I’m sorry for ignoring your request to be left alone, but I just couldn’t wait any longer, Ames. Especially after finding your scrapbook in your room when I visited the Bajaj Mansion yesterday. I also noticed how you’ve kept the flowers I gave you.”
That’s it. I’m doomed.
My body turns rigid, as if struck by heavy blows to the mind. A cold wave of goosebumps rushes through me, my eyes widen until they sting with unshed tears, and my jaw slackens in shock, lips trembling uncontrollably.
Does this mean…
He knows I’ve loved him all along?
Oh God, this embarrassment is unbearable. I want the ground to swallow me whole. He keeps staring at me, as though he has uncovered a crime I hid for years, and humiliation burns through my veins.
“You love me, Ames. You buried it deep in your heart all these years. And what do you think I felt when I found out?” I sniff hard, fighting the tears, and look at him, silently urging him to continue.
“Regret.” The word stuns me.
Regret? Why regret?
“Because I was blind enough to miss your love and waste our early chances of being together. Believe me, I never even considered that possibility. I was completely clueless until I started dating, only to realize that all I ever needed was your presence before anyone else. If I hadn’t been so stupid, we would’ve already been together, maybe even married by now.
” My eyes widen as if I’ve just witnessed someone mourn a lost fortune.
The way he speaks, it feels like he lost something priceless and only realized its value too late.
“I regret everything, Ames. But what hurts the most is how deeply I hurt you without even realizing it. I can only imagine how hard it must have been for you to control your emotions and still guide Aditi on her chosen path. I understand now why you pushed me away back then. It was your way of protecting yourself from more pain. And I feel ashamed for making you lose faith in love, and then walking back into your life to confess my love. I messed up badly. But everyone deserves a second chance, Ames.”
He pauses, desperation flickering in his eyes as if he’s holding on to hope with trembling hands. My throat tightens as I wait for his next words.
“Stop blaming yourself for everything, Ames. Blame me instead, the only villain in the entire episode.” That’s all it takes.
My tears spill freely, sliding down my cheeks as muffled sobs escape into the silence.
The next moment, Reyansh steps forward and pulls me into his arms, holding me tightly.
I squeeze my eyes shut, surrendering to the warmth of his embrace.
Without thinking, I lift my arms around his neck and press my face against his chest, crying without restraint, letting years of suppressed emotions dissolve.
“It was never your fault, Ames. Not when I was too clueless to recognise my feelings. Not when I chose to date Aditi. Not when Aditi and I failed to fall in love. Not when I acknowledged my feelings and ended things with her—”
“Aditi never loved you?” I interrupt, my voice hoarse and strained, that single sentence catching my attention. Especially when I had believed the opposite all along.
“No. She might’ve been comfortable with me, and I treated her with respect, but there was no passion, no love, even after eight months. That’s why she agreed to the break-up too. She realised there was no point in forcing something that wasn’t there.”
The revelation hits me hard. All this time, I believed Aditi loved Reyansh and that he shattered her heart by loving me instead. So it wasn’t how I imagined it at all. The pain still exists, of course; eight months aren’t insignificant, but it isn’t the devastating heartbreak I assumed.
God… I’ve been living by my own assumptions.
“Also, Ames…”
Reyansh gently cups my face and lifts my chin, forcing me to look at him while my arms remain loosely around his neck.
His eyes shimmer like constellations, bright, steady, overflowing with love.
My heartbeat quickens, disbelief and longing crashing together as the moment unfolds like a dream I never dared to imagine.
“Neither Aditi nor I ever considered you the reason for our break-up.”
“Aditi…” I whisper, barely audible.
“Yes, Ames, you heard me correctly. Aditi thinks I messed everything up, but she also recognizes that some things are beyond our control.
Surprisingly, it was Aditi who confirmed my suspicion about your secret love for me after I found your scrapbook.
She encouraged me not to wait endlessly for you to return.
I hesitated to meet you because of your words, though I missed you terribly.
Life felt dull without you. I wanted to see you, but held back to avoid disturbing you.
That's why I visited your room, hoping to feel close to you. I saw the flowers I gave you, preserved as keepsakes, and your scrapbook filled with confessions for me. Aditi urged me to stop waiting for the ‘right time’ and come after you, which gave me the courage to be here now.”
My heart breaks into a frantic sprint as he draws my face closer.
The air between us thins, making me suddenly breathless.
His gaze stays fixed, flickering briefly between my eyes and lips.
A swarm of imaginary butterflies erupts in my stomach as my eyes flutter shut, just in time to feel a soft kiss land on my forehead.
His lips linger there, warm and tender, and my heartbeat quickens wildly.
When he pulls back slightly, his hands slide down my neck.
I struggle to breathe, opening my eyes to find him already watching me, intently.
“Our future rests in your hands now, Ames. I know you care for your sister enough to suppress your feelings for me. But haven’t we walked this journey together since childhood? Don’t you care for me enough to understand what I’m feeling right now?”
He leans in again, pressing a kiss to my cheek, lingering just long enough to steal my composure.
My head tilts back instinctively, eyes closed, fingers curling into his shirt as warmth pools low in my body, my breath turning uneven.
He pulls away slightly, his voice brushing my ear while my thoughts scatter, my body reacting far more than my mind.
“Suppressing your love won’t change the past, Ames.
Life is too short to cling to emotions that drain us.
Sometimes, we need to be selfish to focus on ourselves and what we can still build.
If you need reassurance about Aditi, talk to her yourself.
But don’t push me away when I’m longing desperately to be near you.
” His lips trail along my jaw, unhurried, almost torturous.
My toes curl as he leaves feather-light kisses behind, my grip tightening on his shirt while my chest rises and falls rapidly.
“Don’t let fear or guilt spoil what we could have together.
Let me love you, Ames. Let me make up for the years you spent loving me in silence, especially for the last nine months, when I hurt you so deeply.
I love you, and I’m aching to hear you say it back.
I hope you think about it.” With one last kiss on my forehead, Reyansh finally steps back, creating distance. I remain frozen, staring at him, dazed.
“Come back to me soon, Amy. Also, finish your work and leave shortly.” He gently squishes my cheeks, flashing a charming smile powerful enough to weaken my knees.
Moments later, he turns and walks out, leaving the door closing softly behind him. I sink back into my chair, my mind replaying every word, every touch. What just happened?
I finally felt the warmth I had been craving all along, and now I want more. With his explanation and reassurance, clarity slowly settles in. The next step is obvious: I need to speak with Aditi.
I’ve waited years to be his woman.
Now that it’s within reach, I can’t let it slip away simply because I’m tangled in my own fears. It’s time I choose my life with Reyansh and clear every obstacle standing in our way.