Chapter 4
When Tak pulled up to the house, he parked in the driveway and then stared at the shopping bags in the back seat. “I need to get these inside without anyone seeing.”
“Someday I’ll figure out why you’re so bashful about sex toys, but today is not that day.” I popped the door open. “Since you’re spending all night in the heat house, walk around the side yard and hide them in there.”
His eyes lit up, and he pointed at me. “Smart thinking!”
I took off my seat belt and gathered up my things from the floorboard.
“Why didn’t you ask for a sack?”
I grimaced. “Plastic bags are hazardous. Do me a favor and cut the handles before you toss them into the trash. The thought of bags blowing around the property gives my wolf the willies.”
“Want to hide your stuff in my sack?”
I laughed and stepped out of the truck. “Unlike you, I’ve got nothing to be embarrassed about.”
When I glanced in the truck bed, my heart somersaulted right out of my chest. Sitting in the back was a young woman whose short, wavy hair reminded me of rainbow socks.
The ghost had multicolored eyes that resembled pie wedges—each divided in four equal parts—and when she noticed me noticing her, she flashed a bright smile.
I shut my door. “Mind if I borrow your truck?”
Tak crossed around the front, bags in his hands. “As long as you treat her like your child.”
“Pretend she doesn’t exist?”
I refrained from another joke and stared at the mud flaps. Tak might change his mind, and he was already looking over his shoulders like he was smuggling nuclear warheads into the house. They weren’t bombs, but there would certainly be explosions tonight.
I gestured to his goodies. “Don’t forget to wash those before and after. And use a condom on the big one.”
Tak frowned. “Then what’s the point?”
I clapped my hand on his arm. “I meant your big one. Didn’t she get pregnant outside of heat? Best of luck.”
Still clutching his contraband, Tak narrowed his eyes at me as I rounded the truck and got in.
After backing up and facing the opposite way, I headed down the lengthy drive.
As much as I wanted to speed off, I couldn’t be reckless.
Not only did Cecilia like riding her bike along the paved drive, but one of the wolves might zoom across my path.
The ghost poked her head through the passenger seat.
“Peekaboo!” She crawled into the seat and made herself at home.
“I thought we’d never get here. Where are we anyhow?
Why does your friend have so many sex toys?
I bet you’re wondering what my name is. So am I!
First off, I know you’re a Gravewalker, so there’s no point in ignoring me.
I saw you looking at the ghosts by the ice cream shop. ”
Dammit.
“You’re lucky I was around. A creepy girl with red hair tried to catch a ride, but I threw her out.
” The ghost shoved her head in the glove compartment before sitting back.
“Nothing exciting in there. You know what’s funny?
They call it a glove compartment, but nobody ever puts gloves in there.
Flashlights, manuals, pens, snacks, guns, trash, drugs—I even peeked in one that had so many bottles of cologne. Yours is pretty banal.”
“Did you expect to find a severed head?”
A laugh pealed out of her. “You’re funny! A funny little bunny.”
“Why don’t you have a name?” I ground out, reluctant to talk to a spook, but it was the only way to keep her distracted.
“Oh, I don’t remember my name anymore. But there was a Spanish lady who called me Lora. L-O-R-A. I can’t look it up, since I’m a ghost. Do you think that’s the Spanish version of Laura?”
I wasn’t very fluent in Spanish, but I suspected if someone gave her that name, it wasn’t a term of endearment. “No, I don’t think that’s what it means, sugarplum. Why don’t you pick your own name?”
She faced me, one leg bent. When she tilted her head and looked at me as if I were a unicorn, I had a feeling I knew the reason behind her bewilderment.
“Let me guess. A fleshwalker hasn’t talked to you in years,” I said, using the term that ghosts called the living.
“Oh, they give in eventually but never this quickly. Usually, it takes an entire month of me talking to myself. When they finally cave, they’re always brassy and mean.”
I took off my hat and tossed it onto the seat. It disappeared through her lap.
“Hey! That’s not very nice.”
Then I reached for it and set it in the back seat.
“What do you think you’re doing, mister? So rude!”
The one thing about ghosts was no matter how mentally draining, annoying, or threatening they were, they couldn’t actually retaliate or hurt you. Sure, they could hire someone, but they had no ability to do anything physical beyond putting a song in your head or slipping into your dreams.
That wasn’t to say they couldn’t distract you. I once had a ghost jump out and scare me while I was jogging down a long flight of steps at the subway station. Almost broke my neck.
While she rambled on about manners and her experiences in the dead realm, I reflected on my conversation earlier with Tak.
Does he want me to get mated? What happens if I don’t?
Is that the deal-breaker? And all that talk about me being a Gravewalker.
I can’t let any ghosts in the house. If he catches me talking to myself, he’ll change his mind.
And what was that whole remark about my drinking?
There’s nothing wrong with a sensory drink, and I only have those when we go out.
Not every time either. It’s not hurting anyone.
Man, I could use one now. This woman doesn’t know how to shut up.
I should swing by the Rabbit Lounge. Nope, nope, nope.
Remember what Tak said about treating his truck like my child.
No drinking and driving. Plus I don’t want to show her any of the local sights.
She might remember the business name and find her way back.
The ghost flew into the back seat. “And that’s why I hate going to amusement parks.” She thrust her head between the seats and scared the bejesus out of me. “Where are we going?”
“Dinner.”
“Party time! Excellent!”
I deduced which decade she died in. Poor girl never made it out of the nineties.
“I miss eating,” she rambled on. “My favorite food in the whole world was fried SPAM sandwiches with potato chips stuffed inside and lots of mayo. Tater tots on the side, dipped in mustard. I hate ketchup.”
My laughter bubbled before it went full throttle. “No wonder you’re deceased.”
“That’s not why I’m dead.” She reclined back and put her chunky black shoes on the middle console and crossed her ankles. I gave them a cursory glance as if they could actually leave scuff marks.
Ghosts had limitations. They could move through things at will, but obviously the universe didn’t want them falling into oblivion, so it created basic rules.
They were able to sit and stand on furniture or any object thick enough.
To my understanding, passing through walls required focus and was uncomfortable the thicker the material.
If only I could make a sharp turn and have her fly out.
Some ghosts—who existed in the realm between worlds—wore the same clothes as when they died.
A few even displayed their injuries. But others didn’t.
Death was personal, so I couldn’t be certain if she actually had that bizarre hair color in real life or if it merely reflected her bright personality.
Her eyes were certainly imagined. They were divided like pie wedges, each a different color that wasn’t natural.
In the end, they were all crazed entities with no conscience who delighted in tormenting Gravewalkers. If I had a nickel for every cordial ghost who turned out to be a monster, I’d be a rich man.
The ghost appeared in the front seat again. “I’m so glad you turned out to be nice. Gravewalkers can be such royal jerks.” She caught my annoyed glance and crossed her legs. “Hey, I’m just keepin’ it real. What’s your name?”
“Ted Bundy.”
“Why does that name sound so familiar?”
I couldn’t drive fast enough. In less than thirty minutes, we reached a stucco building.
She looked out the window. “Oh, this looks dope! Diners have the best food.”
I pulled up to the front. “Go in and find a quiet booth away from the humans.”
She nodded adamantly. “Right. I gotcha. You don’t want it to look like you’re talking to yourself. Gotta play it cool.”
“Give me a few minutes. This isn’t my truck, so I need to find a safe parking spot where someone won’t bang into it. Do me a favor—if they have menus on the table, scan it thoroughly and see if there’s any peanut butter pie.”
“Gross.”
She came across as a young personality, and I guessed she must’ve died in her late teens or early twenties by all the slang, but there was no way to know.
It wasn’t easy to look at a ghost and guess their age, since the appearances of their corporeal forms weren’t an exact science.
Some looked exactly as they imagined themselves, regardless of age.
She stared at me for too long. “Can you pick a name for me?”
“What?”
“Well, it’s weird to ask for your help when you don’t even know my name. I don’t even know my name, and I gave up trying to remember. It never mattered before, since I don’t have friends, but you’re my new friend. Pick one. Please? Don’t make me beg.”
“Fine.” I stared at her twinkling eyes and youthful face. I thought about giving her a unique name to fit her personality but settled on another. “I hereby deem you…” Only one name entered my mind. “Darcy.”
“Darcy. Darcy.” Her eyes lit up. “I really like that one. Darcy!” She shoved her arm through the door. “See you inside, Ted! I have so much to tell you.”
“Can’t wait.”
“Peace out.”
The apparition skipped toward the diner, her overalls the last thing I saw before she disappeared through the door. After a few seconds, my foot went down on the gas pedal like a groom on his bride.
“Have a nice afterlife.”