Chapter 10 #3
I thumped my head against the car door. “They’re abusive.”
“Who?” His expression tightened. “I want names.”
“The phantoms. The ghosties. The spookers and specters and transparent imaginary people who live in the realm of never-never gonna be alive again.”
He sighed. “All the time?”
“Not all the time, but enough.” I thumped my head again. “One got in the house.”
He gripped my head to stop me from hitting it against the car. “What can I do?”
“Don’t tell anyone.”
“About this?”
I scoffed. “Feel free to tell them all about drunk Virgil. They’ll find out before breakfast anyhow, the way this town gossips.
I mean about the ghost in the house. It freaks people out.
You don’t think it will, but when they realize it can see them doing private things, they’ll resent me more than the ghost. Ignorance is bliss. Trust me on that one.”
Tak leaned back. I’d seen that look before.
It also meant his private time was compromised.
Bathroom breaks, showers, sex, and especially confidential conversations with leaders in the community.
Clever ghosts knew how to blackmail. He was smart enough to schedule private meetings outside the house, and he was also intelligent enough not to discuss that aloud, knowing my new friend was likely hanging around.
And she was most definitely listening. Flashes of color wandered into sight as she paced back and forth behind him.
Tak curved his hand around my nape and leaned in. “Find a better way to cope. If you want a sensory drink now and then for fun, I’m okay with that. But when you become dependent, it endangers others, and that’s unacceptable.”
Tak didn’t have a clue what it was like. No one did. I’d given up years ago trying to explain it to a non-Gravewalker.
“They can be abusive,” I told him. “There’s no way to stop them. And don’t tell me to ignore them. It’s not that easy. You don’t understand.”
He lowered his head. “I’m sorry for what you go through. Should I talk to them?”
I shook my head. “Never acknowledge the ones who stay.”
“But I can’t see spirits.”
“Doesn’t matter. They creep inside your head and twist your thoughts around. They’ll enter your dreams.”
He arched an eyebrow. “I’m good with an axe in my dreams.” Tak withdrew his hand.
When he glanced over his shoulder, the tribal designs on the left side of his face blurred together.
“You were afraid I wouldn’t welcome a crossbreed into my pack.
That’s who you are, and I’m building a family that’s more than people who are the same.
But addiction has no place in my home, especially one you refuse to acknowledge. ”
“I only do it when I’m out.”
He wagged his finger at me. “You’ve asked to do it around the house.”
That was true but mostly out of boredom. Not because I needed it.
“But I never have,” I countered. “Cut me a break. Sometimes I’m having a bad day or wanna cut loose.”
He rolled a piece of gravel between his fingers while undoubtedly mulling over my situation.
I knocked my sneakers together and stared at my legs. “I should’ve told you about me from the beginning. Maybe that would’ve saved you the embarrassment. You would’ve never invited me.”
Tak shook his head. “Why would you say that to me?”
“Because truth is truth,” I said, drawing an imaginary line made from blue light.
My altered senses made the world surreal.
“I never spent much time in the closet, but since you were so picky about who joined your pack, I kept all the important parts of me a secret. Before we came along, you were cutting people left and right, and I didn’t want a strike against me because I won’t add children to your fantasy. ”
Tak threw back his head and laughed. “We’re not a breeding farm. Family is important, and kids only add joy. But in my father’s tribe, not everyone mated. Not everyone is straight.”
“My first Packmaster didn’t like that I was half Gravewalker, but they also noticed I wasn’t behaving like a straight wolf.
” I blew my hair out of my face. “Some of you—not all—but some of you Shifters only care about procreating like we’re going extinct.
This isn’t the 1500s. We’re not at war, we’re not in bondage, and no one’s targeting us for extermination.
So why does everyone act like our sole purpose is to populate the planet? ”
“The older ones carry those beliefs because they remember how expeditiously other Breeds wiped us out by the thousands. Is that why you didn’t tell me about your sexuality after joining the pack? You thought I only wanted my packmates to do a fertility dance?”
“It never came up. There aren’t many men in Storybook worth dating, and all the women are looking for mates. I mostly hook up with out-of-towners.”
“How did we never see it?”
“You’re blind? I kept thinking someone would figure it out. Montana walked in on me making out with a gentleman in a bow tie. He never said a thing until the day Eden’s dad died.”
“That’s because we respect privacy.”
“It felt like you didn’t care.”
“All you talked about was women.”
I snorted. “That’s all there was! Only two men in this town are out, and they’re not my type. My dating pool shrank to women, and it’s not easy to win their adoration when you have all these studs in the house to compete with.”
“That’s not an issue, since everyone’s mated now.”
“It doesn’t matter anymore.”
“Why?”
I played with a handful of gravel. “People are incapable of loving me.”
He pulled his braid behind his back. “What people? Potential mates?”
“Shifters think I’m weird; Gravewalkers don’t want to be around someone who might turn into a wolf.” I threw the gravel at the green truck across from me. “My old man didn’t want anything to do with me.”
“Why would a father reject his child?” he asked with obvious disbelief.
“Because some men are giant dicks with no balls. For one, he was married to another woman and had his own family. I don’t think they ever knew about my existence.
He secretly sent money to my mother. Not enough to make a difference, but I thought it meant he cared.
Maybe it was hush money. After I went through my first change, she never saw another dime.
That’s when I knew.” I sighed and stared up at the dark sky.
“As soon as he realized I wasn’t a full-blooded Gravewalker, he wanted nothing to do with supporting me. ”
“Do you have brothers or sisters out there by him?”
“I don’t care.”
Tak chuckled. “Maybe you should so you don’t accidentally date one of them.”
When a car driving by kicked up dust, I rubbed my eyes.
“What’s the point of knowing? So we can swap stories about how great their lives were and how shitty mine was?
Or maybe they’ll reject me too. Man, how many times can I put myself through this?
I have two things about me I can’t change, and if people don’t reject me for one, it’s always the other. ”
“Maybe that’s been your experience, but we’re your family.
” He put his hands on my shoulders, and his alpha energy rippled off him reassuringly.
“We’re your home now. I wish you had been honest from the beginning, but knowing about your past helps me understand why you didn’t have faith in us.
I’m glad you’re sharing more with me. That’s how it should be when you’re sober. ” He let go and leaned back.
The next thing I knew, I was lying on the gravel.
“Up we go.” Tak lifted me in his arms and stood.
I felt like a bag of tiny potatoes in his iron grip.
“I pity the father who didn’t want to know you.” Tak crossed the parking lot while I rested my head against his shoulder. “You’re not broken, Virgil. Sometimes I think that’s how you see yourself. It’s the world that’s broken.”
“You’ll find a reason to reject me too,” I said, an admission I’d likely regret later. “Alphas have their limits.”
“If you hurt the family, I’ll have no choice. That goes for everyone under my roof. I know you drink to dull the spirit world, but you’re also dulling away what makes you a good man.”
“Sometimes there isn’t a single ghost in the joint. Then one day—poof! A new specter wanders into the bar with all their afterlife trauma.” I hiccupped. “Sensory magic helps.”
Tak set me in the back seat of his truck. “I wonder if Salem can create a drug that blocks spirits without altering your senses. Humans have similar drugs.”
I reclined my head. “If it were that easy, someone would’ve packaged it up by now and made a fortune.”
“People need Gravewalkers.”
“Nobody needs us but the dead, and they’re worse than a chigger bite.”
Tak buckled my seat belt. “Don’t go behind Calvin’s back again.
” He leaned in and leveled me with his gaze.
“I can’t make the spirits go away, but I want to understand what troubles you.
I wasn’t raised around other Breeds, so my pack helps me grow as a leader.
I can’t understand the world through your eyes unless you share that with me.
If I have to call in an exorcist, I will.
” He patted my chest and winked. “My uncle knows things about the spirit realm.”
Curiosity piqued, I asked, “What kind of things?”
“He has visions. Sometimes those who aren’t Gravewalkers are connected to the spirit world. He has methods to cleanse a house of spirits who don’t belong.” Tak patted me on the chest. “Don’t throw up back here. I just vacuumed the seats.”
“Don’t give up on me.”
Tak gripped my shoulder. “You’re my brother.” He leaned out of the car. “It’s too bad you won’t remember this conversation in the morning.”
I closed my eyes. “This part I’ll remember. I just hope you don’t forget it.”