7. Chapter 7
Chapter seven
Erix
The sun beat down on us with searing intensity, and I grimaced.
Sweat dripped down my spine continuously, pooling in the small of my back.
I was no stranger to heat—it was a constant companion in the desert.
Today, though, felt like standing in a forge.
It was all the more jarring given that the nights for the past week had been cold enough to make my teeth chatter and Keera huddle so close she nearly crawled inside my skin.
There was no escape from the temperature either, as the baked earth stretched endlessly in every direction, with no shade in sight.
The air shimmered as I squinted at the horizon, willing a green splotch of date palms to appear to no avail.
The waving undulations of the air only made the sense of movement at the edge of my vision worse—and my mind unhelpfully supplied me with the idea that Kelvar was hiding just out of my line of sight, ready to jump forward and push me further toward madness.
I squeezed my eyes shut against both the troubling thoughts and the headachy pounding in my head.
The tingling in my throat and the metal on my tongue lingered at the edge of my awareness.
Alza’s head hung as she plodded along. The others didn’t seem to be faring much better.
All the horses nearly dragged their hooves as they put one foot in front of the other.
Their riders only seemed slightly more energetic, as Lord Dhara appeared to waver, while Aderyn sat upright with her jaw so tight, it was clear she was mustering every ounce of her considerable self-discipline to not shrivel in the intensity of the sun.
“Stop,” Keera said, breaking the heavy silence. “The horses can’t keep going like this.”
Daiti snuffled quietly as if to prove her point.
While the stallion was always the first to prance about and make his opinions known with stubborn aloofness, even he seemed defeated.
Keera, however, seemed to be faring the best of the humans.
While her cheeks were ruddy with fresh sunburn, her golden eyes held more light than I felt in my own.
“We can’t stop without shade,” Lord Elion pointed out.
“No, we can’t,” Keera agreed. “But we can lessen the burden on the horses. We can walk.”
We looked among ourselves dubiously. The horses were tired, but walking would slow us considerably. Perhaps too much to reach shelter by nightfall. A horse going lame would delay us even further, though.
Keera cleared her throat, and I felt a shiver of something like uncertainty through the bond at the base of my skull.
Still, she squared her shoulders, and I too bore the weight she lifted them against—the fear that our choices would lead others to ruin.
I pushed my own strength against her for just a moment, worried any more would strain against her magic’s control while trying to silently encourage her.
“We can’t let anything happen to the horses. Being stuck in the wilds without a mount is a death sentence.”
The bitterness of her words coated my own tongue and knew she spoke from experience. I dismounted first, patting Alza in thanks for carrying me this far already.
The others followed, but Aderyn still looked concerned. “We will be slower on foot, and that will make us less likely to find water by nightfall.”
Keera set her lips in a grim line. “You’d be surprised how far you can make it on foot.”
We set out doggedly. My boots crunched against the hard earth, and the heat was enough to make it feel like I was moving through water, my limbs heavy and unwieldy. We trudged along slowly for what felt like hours, but Keera had been right.
By the time the sun flirted with the horizon at our backs, Alza held her head up once more, and her eyes were brighter. We would all need our mounts in good condition for many more weeks.
Still, as the fiery orange of sunset melted into the muted gray of twilight, we looked around us in dismay.
Nothing that might provide shelter broke the flat stretch of earth we traversed.
Camping out in the open, we could be seen for miles by any predators who might surface in the cooler hours of night.
There wasn’t even any brush we could collect to burn for a fire.
A pang of anxiety slipped down the tether in my gut, and I glanced over to find Keera looking around desperately, as if she could make a better campsite appear from thin air.
I halted. “I’ve camped out in the open without a fire before. We will be able to protect ourselves.”
There were few parties in the desert more capable of protecting themselves than the five of us.
I turned to start unloading packs from Alza’s back, and the others did the same.
I ran my hands over her muscles as I did so, checking for any signs of illness or injury.
While her sides were damp with sweat, she did not tremble with exhaustion the way she had before I dismounted.
Keera had been wise to suggest we walk.
Around me, the others did similarly, laying out bed rolls and pulling dried meat and dates from their packs for a meal.
We would have no fire to cook over tonight with no fuel in the area.
Darkness descended as we finished, plunging us into the sort of blackness only found in the depths of the wilderness.
Tonight was a new moon, and the silvery specks of the stars were not enough to penetrate the inky night.
At Clan Katal’s encampment, the night of a new moon would mean sacrifice.
I shivered.
“We should take turns keeping watch tonight,” I said. “Without a fire, predators might feel emboldened to approach us. I’ll take the first shift.”
Everybody nodded their agreement and began to settle onto their sleeping mats. The horses laid down close to their masters, offering their warmth. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Elion offer Dhara a spare robe to wrap around herself. She took it without looking at him.
Before she laid down to rest, Keera reached out and squeezed my arm. The lines of concern around her eyes deepened, their shadows exaggerated by the dim light. I covered her hand with my own in what I hoped was reassurance.
Then, she turned back to the sleeping mat, and I settled myself cross-legged on the sand with my blade drawn and laid across my lap. The sounds of shuffling behind me fell into the silence of deep breathing as everybody slept.
The minutes stretched on, and I strained my eyes against the darkness, trying to detect any possible movement.
With the buzzing in my mind and the shimmering of half-realized hallucinations, I worried I wouldn’t be able to sense an actual threat.
At the thought, my fingers tightened around the blade in my hands.
The edge bit into my flesh, and I sucked in a breath through my teeth at the sharp sting, but the chattering of magic and the swirling at the edges of my vision lessened in response to the pain.
Reflexively, my grip tightened, chasing the sharp sensation. Anything to clear my head. Especially when Keera needed all the rest she could get, and my restlessness might rouse her.
At the thought of her, I grimaced in a way that had nothing to do with the well of blood between my knuckles.
I had managed to keep my self-inflicted injuries from her, but tamping down my desire to turn to her touch for comfort instead was even more painful.
Keera already bore so much. If my madness was a burden I could lift from her, then I would shoulder it.
So, I clenched my fists and tried to hide the irritated twitching of my muscles and the visceral urge to look over my shoulder for Kelvar’s appearance, even when a prickle on my neck told me somebody was watching me.
The half-moons of my nails were permanently indented into my palm at this point.
As if my thoughts had summoned her, the sound of footsteps told me she approached. It might have been one of the others, but I recognized her just from her cadence. Just like I would know her by touch and feel alone.
At least it wasn’t Kelvar, coming to torment me with more cryptic words.
“You should be sleeping,” I murmured as she sat down beside me and pulled her knees to her chest.
Keera rested her chin on her knees and sighed. “I should be the one to keep watch. It’s my fault we’re stuck in the open without a fire.”
I furrowed my brow. “The only one at fault is the desert, and she has much worse in store than a night without protection.”
“And she has every right to be angry. But I’m the one who suggested that we should walk. If we had continued to ride, we might have found shelter.”
“Or one of our horses may have gone lame or taken a bad step in their exhaustion,” I argued.
Her words fell heavier than I would expect for a simple discussion about logistics.
The hiccups in the flow of her magic hinted at what she struggled with: Bitter fear and crushing guilt.
It only reinforced that the pain of my own madness should not be piled on top of those burdens.
I tried to lighten them anyway. “Your instincts for survival in the desert are good. We have to make the best choices we can with the information we have.”
Keera hugged herself tighter in a way that made my chest ache. “That doesn’t seem good enough most of the time.”
I got the distinct feeling we weren’t just talking about our camp for the night.
“Aderyn and Dhara and Elion don’t respect your opinions because you have never been wrong.
They respect you because you’re stubborn and loyal and would fight tooth and nail to protect those who have earned your trust. It’s why I respect you.
It’s why I would go to the ends of the earth with you. ”
Keera let out a shaky exhale, and the pulse of her emotion down the tether in my mind was as knotted and confused as my own thoughts often felt.