Chapter 18
Kira
I liked to think of myself as a pretty resilient person.
Yes, I had a habit of leading with my heart instead of thinking things over clearly, but it seemed easier to fall in love with the unknown instead of worrying about the future or the past. That’s not to say I ignored whatever happened in the past — the past was what prompted me to go to these SDV meetings, to better prepare myself for what that future held.
That future I so badly wanted to enjoy and live to the fullest.
And so, because of my open-hearted resilience and the determination to never let the past drag me down, I found myself sitting in my SDV meeting, unable to focus as I daydreamed about that bubble tea date.
Technically not an official date, but it had brought about one of the best afternoons of my life.
My head was in a whirl about it ever since, with questions about what it meant for the friendship between Seb and me.
The friendship we once had…
My daydream faltered slightly at that thought, and I straightened in my seat, pretending to listen to the group.
He still hadn’t contacted me. It was the one little worry that frayed my perfect daydream’s edges. But it was also Thursday, which meant he would show up to give me a ride home on his bike, and we could talk about what happened. Even if the idea of talking about it sent my heart into a frenzy.
We had sex. Effortless, easy, sex that was everything I never had with Aiden.
Sex with Aiden never brought release. Sure, there may have been one or two orgasms, but with Seb, there was more.
There was aftercare and less pressure to be anything more than two adults cuddling in bed.
It was nice to just lay in bed and feel instead of diving right back into a discussion Aiden had listened to on a podcast.
An involuntary sigh left me before I remembered where I was.
I mentally brushed off my daydream as I looked around to make sure no one had noticed me staring blankly at the wall at the opposite end of the hall.
The group was already wrapping up today’s session, with Libby, the group leader, discussing plans for next week's meeting.
As I grabbed my bag and jacket from the back of my seat, Fran approached me and gently nudged my arm. A rare smile played on her lips. “You were out of it that entire meeting.”
I grimaced through a smile.
“Thinking of biker boy?”
My smile grew. “Maybe.”
Fran rolled her eyes despite the humor in them. “Jesus Christ.”
He was ten minutes late.
And then fifteen minutes late.
I kept one eye on the time as I sat on the stone steps of the community hall, watching the hustle and bustle of Williamsburg while I waited for the familiar hum of a motorbike engine to peel through the noise.
It was hard not to overthink why he wouldn’t show.
Maybe he changed his mind after all. Maybe he realized he didn’t want a girl who was once broken.
Knowing his phone was broken, I tried his number anyway. Only it didn’t ring. It beeped a few times and went silent. His phone was definitely still broken. That didn’t explain why he wouldn’t show up to at least tell me what’s going on.
His apartment is ten minutes from here…
“Ugh.” I shoved my phone in my bag and stood, scanning the street one last time before I started on a brisk walk to the bakery down the street. “It’s fine. This is fine. Don’t overthink it. He’s probably caught up with work. And we weren’t anything serious anyway. It was casual sex.”
Telling myself that didn’t help the uncomfortable ache in my chest.
As I arrived at the café and joined the line, I pulled out my phone and opened a message notification from Lily.
At least it would provide some distraction.
She had sent me a funny video of Bella, Sofia’s puppy, that she found in her camera roll.
It was enough to bring a smile back to my lips again, but I decided to tell her what was going on.
Me: I think Seb stood me up…
Lily: What?
Me: I’m trying not to think the worst, because I know there’s a logical explanation.
The line moved up a step as I waited for her response.
Lily: I’m sure he has a really good reason… Are you still outside your meeting?
Me: I’m at a café, ready to gorge myself on pastries and forget my problems. Did you want me to get you anything?
Lily: Ooh yes please! I’ll have what you’re having. But also, hang tight. Dean said he can come and get you.
Me: Isn’t it a little out of the way?
Lily: He said he was picking up clutch covers from Bushwick. He’s 20 minutes away…
Lily: Please don’t ask me what a clutch cover is. I only know it’s a car thing.
Me: lol okay. I would kiss him for giving me a ride home but that might be weird, so I’ll get him an éclair.
I slid my phone back into my bag and approached the counter with a smile.
As promised, 20 minutes later, as I finished off my éclair, an emerald-green Cadillac pulled up outside the café, and Dean got out wearing navy blue coveralls with the sleeves tied around his waist. He offered me a casual smile as he walked around the front of the car and opened the passenger door.
“Thank you for doing this,” I said as I approached, lifting the paper bag of extra eclairs in his direction. “For compensation.”
“Thanks,” he chuckled, taking the bag and inspecting the contents. “So. Seb didn’t show?”
“I don’t suppose you’ve heard anything?” There was a hopefulness in my voice.
“No, but we have that fight tomorrow night. I’ll talk to him then. Get you some answers and maybe ask him why he’s being a dick.”
“It’s out of character, right? I’m not going insane?”
“Not insane.” He smiled in reassurance and jerked his chin at the car. “Come on.”
I climbed into the front seat, still not feeling any better with the lack of answers.