Chapter 10
Chapter Ten
LIVIANNA/LILY
Rewind Time By An Hour
Salt Air & Sunlit Escapes
I leave everything behind, and it finds me anyway.
Callum stands before me in the kitchen, still upset about any man I spend time with. “Is there more to how you feel about Jaxon?”
“He’s my mentor. We spend time together, and I need him.” I stare into Callum’s eyes. “And I thought we were arguing about Sebastian. Which one is it, Callum?”
“Both.” His face turns red and he huffs. “Why are you dead set on turning to other people when you have me? All you have to do is say the word. I’d drop everything to help you. Why is that so hard for you to understand?”
“This isn’t about needing help. It’s about needing answers.” The tears form in my eyes again.
I hate it, so I squeeze my eyes shut to make them stop coming. After a second, they clear.
I take Callum’s hands in mine. “You have all your memories. I have nothing since I was eighteen. Can’t you see how difficult that is?”
“Yeah, I never said it wasn’t.” He stays rigid. “I wanna know why you went out with Sebastian, and how those photographers got those shots.”
“I can explain all that.” I drop his hands. “We were having dinner, catching up. The last time I remember being around him, we were still friends. I just wanted to see if he could help fill in some of the blank spaces in my mind.”
“He’s not the one to go to. Ever.” Callum stands tall with determination burning in his eyes. “Do you hear what I’m telling you?”
“Yes, but you don’t get to decide who I’m friends with.” I stand stiff with my arms straight at my sides and my fists clenched.
He growls and grows taller. “Wrong. When it comes to Sebastian, you are not to spend any time alone with him. You don’t remember, but he’s a terrible person, Livianna.”
“You can’t tell me what to do, Callum. I won’t tolerate you trying to control me.”
“That’s not what I’m doing.”
“Then give me a better reason for your distrust in him.”
“Can’t you trust me?”
“Can’t you trust me?” I repeat.
He raises his glare to the ceiling and pauses to breathe. He might need a minute to calm down, and so do I. I spin away, running up the stairs. I don’t have to stay here and get grilled.
“Livianna, we aren’t finished with this conversation.” Callum starts to follow me.
I turn, holding the railing. “We are done. I’m going to shower and then go to work. You’re not welcome around me right now. For once, you need to give me space to fucking think.”
That does it. He stops in his tracks, and the wound that covers his face can’t be denied.
His shoulders drop. “Is that what you want? Space?”
“Yes!” I twist back and run up the rest of the stairs.
Once I’m in our room, I slam the door and get into the shower. I just don’t know why he acts this way. It’s so frustrating.
I start the water to let it warm up. I should take a cold one to cool me off.
Callum pounds on the door. “Livianna, we need to discuss this. Running off and locking me out won’t work. I won’t let it.”
I don’t answer. Like a child, I flip off the back of the door instead. He can’t see me, so I feel a little better for being immature.
I tiptoe into the en suite and get into the shower. The pounding disappears.
Why won’t he tell me what his problem with Sebastian is? He’s not that bad. He even said he was interested in smoothing things over.
That’s it. Callum needs to tell me what the issues are before I end a friendship. If he doesn’t, Sebastian and I will continue to be friends.
After I’m clean and ready for the day, I leave my room and take the stairs to the main level.
I’m refreshed, and hopefully Callum has calmed down. “Are you feeling better?”
“I wasn’t…” He releases a heavy breath as he sits on the couch. “I won’t fight with you about this, Livianna. Sebastian is off-limits.”
“Are you serious? You still want to focus on what happened in the past rather than move toward a resolution. Sebastian’s ready to bury any beef you two have. Why can’t you be?”
Callum rises to his feet. “If you believe that, you’re in more danger than you realize.”
“What is this danger you keep alluding to?” I march to the center of the room. “Where is it? Who’s behind it? And why? Why would anyone?—”
“Stop.” His face burns red. “You are not to see him anymore. Do you understand?”
Oh, that brings out the fire in me. “I’m not allowed? Are you fucking kidding me?”
“Not even a little.”
My heart pounds hard against my rib cage. “That does it, Callum. I’m done with you doing this.”
“Doing what?” He gestures around the room, showing off the house. “Keeping you safe? Making sure everything is perfect for you?”
“Perfect for me?” I glare hard into his eyes. “I’m not allowed to listen to any music Mayhem has made unless you’re with me to explain what the song means. Sebastian is ‘off-limits.’ What’s next? Are you going to stop me from working alongside Jaxon, too?”
“I have good reason for doing all of this, Livianna. You’re refusing to listen.”
“No. You’re refusing to give me answers.” I turn to leave and start down the hallway toward my home office. “If you won’t give me what I’m asking for, I’ll find someone who will.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” He starts to follow.
I spin and face him. “It means you’re treating me like a broken, fragile eighteen-year-old girl. I’m not her anymore.”
He stops mid-stride, taking in a breath. “Lily, please just trust me.”
“Take your own advice.” I storm off, grab my bag and purse, and rush out to my car.
Callum’s still hot on my trail. “Where do you think you’re going?”
“Work.”
“That can wait.”
“No, it can’t. It’s the one thing that still makes sense to me.” I get into my car, lock the door, and pull out of the garage.
Callum stands in the empty space where my car was, shaking his head and cursing. He thinks he knows what’s best for me, and he doesn’t.
I tear out of the neighborhood, driving way too fast. Callum’s new car is quick and could catch up to me in seconds, but I’m done arguing with him when he won’t tell me why he’s being so unreasonable.
Once I’m stopped at a light, I dig into my purse to get my phone. I rearrange the contents and move everything around, but no luck. It must still be on the counter where I left it after hanging up with Jaxon.
Shit! If this morning couldn’t be any worse.
I enter Lehlani Grace Designs’ waiting area, and no one is around. Our receptionist is missing, and the conference room is empty.
I wander down the hall to Ella’s office. She’s gone, too.
“Where is everyone?” I know I won’t receive an answer, but who cares? There’s nothing wrong with talking to myself.
I continue into my private studio. A sticky note stuck to my computer screen catches my attention. I pull it off and read it.
Livianna, I tried calling, but it kept going to voicemail.
We’re all off-site today, either working on various projects or working from home.
You have no appointments, and Ella said she can handle the meeting with the store you booked.
Hopefully, you’ll enjoy the silence. You usually do, but call me if you need anything. Penelope
“Great. It’s my company, and they don’t need me.” My heart shrinks. “Why am I even here?”
That gives me an idea. I was so relaxed in La Jolla, and I want more of that. I grab my belongings and officially take a sick day.
I’m locking up the place when Quinn comes into view, strolling down the hallway.
“Hey, Quinn. How are you today?”
“Good.” She moves her bag to her other shoulder. “Are you already leaving? It’s not even nine-thirty.”
“I know, but I need a redo.” I shove my office keys into my purse. “This morning sucks.”
“Really. Why?” She rests against the wall. “Is it work-related?”
“No, it’s personal.”
“Yeah, I saw all the pictures.” She grimaces. “I wasn’t going to bring it up unless you did. Rough, girl. Rough.”
I huff out a fake laugh. “Funny thing is, I haven’t even seen them.”
“No? Why not?”
“I haven’t even had a cup of coffee because I was accosted by Callum in the kitchen. My eyes were barely open, and he was in my face, all insistent that I can’t have friends.”
“Livianna.” Quinn shows me a smile that says she’s not really on my side. “They don’t look good.”
“Whatever.” I start to march away. “I’ll call you later. Right now, I need some therapy.”
“You have a therapist now?” She hurries to my side.
I glance her way. “No. I was talking about other kinds of therapy.”
“I don’t like the tone you have.”
“What tone would that be?”
“The ‘fuck everyone’ tone. Nothing good ever comes from it.” She stops. “Tell me you’re not going to?—”
“I’m going shopping, Quinn.” I stop beside her.
“Is that wise?”
“Why wouldn’t it be?”
“You just said your morning was ruined because of what’s online. The paparazzi want the scoop, and Cash and you are the top news.”
I sink back against the wall and stare at the ceiling. “Why do they care? We’re not like they say.”
“Don’t let the bastards get you down. They aren’t worth it.”
I gather my composure, take a cleansing breath, and gaze her way. “Quinn, I’m so done with everything.”
She gives me an unexpected hug. “I get it. You’ve been through so much. The last things you need are these scandals.”
“Thanks.” I release her and force a grin, showing her my gratitude. “It’s nothing a day alone won’t cure. I just need to get my mind right.”
“Then go.” She turns to leave. “I need to get to work, but call me later.”
“Okay. Have a good day.”
“You too.” She tosses a wave as she continues to enter CVI’s office.
I exit and find myself driving around LA. This place is known for fashion, but I can’t get my head in the game. Even on Rodeo Drive, I’m not motivated.
I spot a billboard for a restaurant in Malibu, and my heart explodes. I guess Malibu is where I’m meant to be today.
As I’m driving into town, I notice a weed shop, and on impulse I turn in. Everyone I know tells me I no longer use, but what they don’t know won’t hurt them.
“Damn, I love Malibu. I would live here if I could.” It seems talking to myself is my theme for the day.
I drove around for a while, had lunch on the pier, and now I’m sitting on this private beach, resting my back against a random log I found while I’m high as fuck. I’m not even sure I’m allowed to be here, but I don’t care.
How I knew about this spot is another question I have, but I’m used to them not getting answered anymore.
“God, if you can hear me, please help my memory come back.” The prayer seems worthless, but it’s still something.
The afternoon sun lowers, leaving the water a golden sea of beauty, and that’s why I love it here. Here, everything is perfect, a true earthly utopia.
I get a little choked up over the beauty the ocean creates. It’s like a spiritual recognition of the treasures life offers when I feel like giving up.
“Livianna?” A man hiding in the shadows of the bright light shining directly into my eyes veers my way. “Is that you?”
I shield my eyes with my hand, resting it on my forehead. Jaxon comes into focus. Something about this exchange is familiar. My heart rate speeds up.
“Jaxon.” I stand and wipe the sand off my clothes. “What are you doing here?”
A flash of a picture in my memory comes forward, but it’s gone before I can pull it up.
He removes his sunglasses and stands a foot before me. “That’s the same thing I was going to ask.”
“My reason for being here is that I took the day off so I could come down here and think. What’s yours?”
He bypasses my question with another of his own. “Why here?”
“I love Malibu. Always have.”
He nods as his brow draws together. “Any other reasons?”
“I needed to clear my mind, and I accomplished it. I haven’t thought of one thing since I got here.”
“Are you meditating again?” The corners of his lips curve.
“Me meditate?” Stay present, Livianna, or else he’s going to know you’re stoned. “Yes. That’s what I was doing.”
The smile that forms takes up his entire face. “That’s great news.”
“Well, you know what they say.”
“What?”
“Um…” Shit, I’m not tracking the conversation well. Focus, Liv. Focus. “Letting your mind go while relaxing on a beach is the only way to meditate.”
His expression drops, and he studies me. I turn my head so he can’t see my eyes.
“Livianna.” The command in his tone is deafening.
“Yes, sir?” I lower my chin, roll my shoulders forward, and wait for his directions as if he were my Daddy.
What the hell am I doing?
Jaxon’s palms wrap around both of my arms. “Look at me.”
I do without hesitation.
Oh my god. I’m so high that I’m acting weird. There’s no way he won’t figure this out.
My head starts to throb.
It’s just the gummies, Livianna. Don’t freak out.
My brain doesn’t listen. A vice grip squeezes my head. I bend over, stepping back from Jax, and hold my temples. The pounding is audible.
“Jax, what’s happening?” I reach out, still bent. “It hurts. I need help.”
“Where?” He takes me in his arms. “What’s wrong?”
I raise my gaze, and his wary brown eyes scroll over my face. A memory spills into a crack of my consciousness and the pain disappears.
“Jax, we were here on the beach near the pier.” I blink as the images crash over my awareness. I wince at what I recall. “Oh my god. I tried to kiss you, and you pushed me away.”
Jaxon doesn’t move. His palms are still holding me, and he’s staring at me, frozen.
He breaks the silence. “When?
“I don’t know.” I think back to the memory. Why was I here, and why the hell did I try to kiss him? The revelation slams into me, and my chest caves in. “Callum… He cheated on me.”
“What? Livianna, are you remembering something?”
“I was here getting high because Callum cheated on me with…” Fire erupts in me. “Zara!”
Of course, that’s why we broke up. She was touring with him, and they shared a past. They must have rekindled their attraction for one another.
“Livianna, breathe.” Jaxon catches my fiery gaze. “You need to calm down.”
His words make me realize I’m almost hyperventilating.
“Jax…” I suck in much need air. “Shit, I think I’m…”
“Keep your eyes on mine, breathe with me, and try to relax.”
I do exactly as he says, and just like he helped me on my parents’ balcony, I start to center myself.
I step back and gesture toward the private beach access trail. “My car is that way.”
“So?” He scans over me. “Talk to me, Livianna. What’s going on?”
I stumble a little as I turn to leave. “I need to go. Callum needs to know I remember what he did to me.”
“Over my dead body are you going to drive.” Jaxon catches my arm again. It’s not hard enough to hurt me, but it’s firm enough to tell me he’s not fucking around.
“Jaxon, I have to.” I flash him a pleading expression. “Please let me go.”
He takes a few beats and then nods. “Okay, but I don’t want you alone right now. You’re having a breakthrough. Another could come, and you could have a full-blown panic attack while driving.”
Pressure builds in my chest. “Why do you even care?”
His posture drops as if he’s defeated. “I just do.”
“Then tell me.” My stomach turns. “Did you know Callum cheated on me?”