Chapter 25
‘So, all you need to do is finish adding the light touches to the tree and the edge of the clouds and I’d say it’s done,’ she told Lucien, who was mixing a light blue in a plastic tray, his brow furrowed in concentration.
‘And you think it is good enough.’
‘Actually, I think it’s absolutely beautiful.’ She meant it, too. Lucien had taken his lightly washed painting and built up colour, light and shade just as she’d shown him. The house looked realistic, charming. There was a vibrancy to it. ‘It’s such a happy picture somehow.’
He smiled his sad smile. ‘I hope that Annabelle agrees with you.’
‘I’m sure she will. And when I get back, we can mount and frame it. It’ll look really professional, I promise. I’ve even got wrapping paper.’
‘Thank you.’
Nicola had yet to meet Annabelle, but Lucien was so nice, so gentle, that she couldn’t imagine her being stern. It was actually a really great painting, and the idea of someone who didn’t ordinarily put brush to paper actually producing something for a Christmas present was really romantic.
She felt Gabi wriggle a little and hoped it was a good sign. She had warmed up now, but seemed perfectly content being tucked against Nicola’s skin, so she’d decided not to move the kitten until she had to.
‘And you don’t mind me popping out to the vet’s in a bit?’ she added. ‘It seems really unprofessional.’
‘Not at all. And don’t worry, remember it was me who cancelled the lesson. You could not wait your whole day just in case I changed my mind.’
‘True.’
‘Besides, this is an emergency!’
She laughed. ‘Well, it’s appreciated.’
‘Oh! And of course!’ he said, as if just remembering something. ‘If your family arrive before you get back, you can give me a message for them. Unless they have already arrived?’ He looked around as if imagining he might suddenly see her parents under the couch, or perched on a mantlepiece.
She shook her head, suddenly feeling emotions swell inside her. ‘They’re not actually coming.’
‘Oh, but that is horrible news. Why not? To cancel so late is unkind.’
‘Yes, but it’s not their fault. They wanted to, it’s just there was…
My parents got into an accident.’ She found herself explaining the whole thing to him, partly to alleviate his concern.
‘They’re fine,’ she said. ‘I’m grateful.
But I suppose I just have to accept that Christmas is going to be a bit lonely and, well, a bit shit, I suppose. ’
‘Your Christmas will be like excrement?’
‘Oui. A Shitmas,’ she said, lapsing into English. ‘But you know what, it’s fine. I’ll be fine.’ She smiled, but Lucien looked unconvinced.
‘No, we cannot have this,’ he said. ‘Your parents hurt, you tumbling downstairs, the emergency with Gabrielle. You need something good to happen.’
She nodded.
‘Well, you cannot be alone at Christmas. You must come to us. Share with my family! Annabelle will not mind, I’m sure. And Matthieu will be delighted. He loves to see people and we so rarely have anyone over these days.’
‘Oh no. I wouldn’t intrude.’
‘Please. It will be good for us. We are not seeing family this year, it is too difficult. But to have someone for just a few hours to celebrate with. I think that will be wonderful!’
‘Really?’
‘For sure. We eat on the twenty-fourth, in the evening. You must come. I won’t allow you to say no!’
She found herself smiling. ‘OK, if you’re sure. I’d love to.’
‘Parfait!’ Lucien exclaimed. ‘And then you will have New Year and your husband to look forward to.’
Her smile instantly faded again. She thought about the phone call, about her inability to reach Steven. About Harriet’s silence, despite her promise to track him down. ‘I hope so,’ she said.
* * *
Monsieur Benjamin examined the little kitten, pushing an enormous-looking stethoscope to her tiny chest and nodding gravely. Something about his face and the concern he seemed to have over Gabi’s condition made her less confident than she had been that the kitten would be OK.
When he was done, he lifted the kitten back into her arms. She felt the animal’s tiny claws prick at her jumper and gave her head a little stroke.
‘So, she is fine,’ the vet said. ‘You have done a good job with her.’
‘You’re sure?’
He smiled. ‘Yes. I admit I was worried. Three hours in the cold in these conditions is a lot for a tiny animal like Gabi. But she seems to be very resilient. Perhaps it is a Christmas miracle!’ He beamed widely, seemingly pleased with this observation.
‘Yes,’ Nicola said. ‘Perhaps it is.’
It was amazing what near-misses did to your perspective, she thought as she began the slow, careful drive home.
She was back to the position she’d been in a few days ago – not seeing her family at Christmas, sharing her home with a healthy kitten.
But now events had made her appreciate just how easily all of that could slip away.
But her parents and Harriet were fine. And it seemed that Gabi was too.
Perhaps she was lucky. Just not in the way she’d hoped. Perhaps, too, Harriet would find out what was going on, and be able to reassure her that her worries about Steven were unfounded. And she could let her life slip back onto its rails again.
She pulled into the drive and experienced for the first time the joy of knowing that someone would already be in the house when she came home; that it would feel less empty than it usually did on her arrival.
Lucien was standing in the hall when she came through the door, as if he’d leapt up on hearing her key in the lock.
‘She is OK?’ he asked.
‘Yes.’ Nicola lifted the cat basket in which she’d now installed Gabi. ‘Vet called it a Christmas miracle!’
Lucien smiled, although there was something in his eyes that seemed to clash with the upturning of his mouth. ‘About Christmas…’ he began.
‘It’s fine. If you can’t invite me, it’s fine,’ she said quickly, not wanting him to feel awkward.
‘Non, it is not that. You are welcome. We all want you to come. We are excited,’ he said quickly. ‘It’s just when I spoke to Annabelle, I realised that there were some things you didn’t know about us… our situation… that you ought to be told before you come.’
‘You honestly don’t need to…’
‘Yes. It is important,’ he said with a decisive nod.
‘OK.’
‘Not here,’ he said. ‘I will make you a coffee.’
She wasn’t sure whether that was his way of delaying telling her whatever it was, or preparing her for something big.
And she clearly couldn’t ask. Instead, she followed him into her kitchen as if everything were normal, setting the cat basket down and releasing Gabi, who made a beeline for her food bowl and began to eat her biscuits hungrily.
Lucien busied himself with cups and filled the kettle. Rather than wait around and watch him, which would feel a bit awkward, she made her way to the living room and checked her laptop. Still nothing from Harriet. She clicked her sister’s name and waited for the ringing sound.
‘Harriet?’ she said when her sister answered.
‘Yes, sorry, I meant to call you. Then I realised your phone was damaged. I forgot… I didn’t think of your laptop,’ her sister said by way of explanation. Something about her tone sounded hurried, stressed.
‘Is everything OK? Mum and Dad are…’
‘They’re fine. And Aunt Maggie has come around to help Mum decorate the house a bit more. I think she’s trying to compensate for me and Dad missing our French winter wonderland, so she’s adding enough lights to take the entire UK grid down.’
Nicola smiled in spite of herself. It was great that Mum was buzzing around, being Christmassy. A good sign that she genuinely did feel OK.
‘Oh, and we’re getting a hire car this afternoon. So I’ll be able to go over to the hospital again.’
‘You didn’t see Steven earlier?’
‘No, apparently he’d only just finished his shift, though. At least that’s what one of the other nurses said. It didn’t seem like any of them were hiding anything.’
‘You honestly don’t need to go see him. I’ll talk to him again. I’m sure he’ll call; I’ll try to get a new mobile so I can actually answer when he does.’
‘Oh, I’m not going to try to talk to him!’ Harriet said. ‘I just thought I might pop over to the car park, just see when he leaves with my own eyes… you know. Just in case.’
‘You really don’t—’
‘I want to. Look, I’m sure there’s a good explanation but if that man is cheating on you, I want to know. And I want to be able to reassure you properly if he’s not. So I’m doing it.’
Nicola couldn’t see Harriet, but she could tell from her voice that she was folding her arms, sticking out her chin obstinately in the way she sometimes did. There was no arguing with her when she was like this.
‘All right,’ she sighed. ‘But don’t let him see you, Harriet. It would be pretty hard to explain.’
‘I’m going to say it’s to do with the accident. You know, a follow-up.’
Nicola found herself smiling fondly. ‘You are wasted studying business, you know. You should be out fighting serious crime.’
‘You’re right. But I couldn’t find a degree course in being a superhero.’
She ended the call and walked back to the kitchen.
Lucien had made two cups of coffee and was sitting in front of one, his shoulders seemingly hunched.
He straightened when he saw her, tried to smile, but there it was again, that strange look in his eyes, as if he were sizing her up, deciding how to say something in a way she’d be able to digest.
‘So,’ she said, sliding onto a chair, picking up her coffee. ‘What is it that I need to know?’
He took a deep breath as if telling her was going to take all of his energy. ‘I probably should have told you this before. But… for a while, you were my escape. From my home life. From all of it. I didn’t want to involve you, have you ask questions.’
‘Oh. Look, Lucien. Please don’t tell me anything that you don’t want—’
‘I do want,’ he said simply. ‘The truth is that Annabelle is sick. She has been very sick for a long time. This year, we hoped that she might be able to have an operation to fix her. But it didn’t work.’
‘Oh God. I’m so sorry.’ She raised her arm, wanting so much to hug him, to comfort him. But she moved it away.
He nodded, avoiding her eye. ‘Yes, it is very sad. She is home now, of course. But she is on the list for a new heart. They don’t know how long, if it will be…
She is not high on the list, not a priority.
Because she is weak. They are not sure whether she would survive, even if she had the surgery.
’ His voice cracked with emotion. ‘So it is likely that this will be the last Christmas we have her with us. And I have had to come to terms with the fact that my wife, Matthieu’s mother, is going to die. ’