Chapter 32
It was a little like waking up from an intense dream. When you open your eyes after a nightmare and the horror melts away, and you realise that everything in life is actually OK.
As she walked closer to the steps, the light from the interior of the house shone enough on the expectant faces for her to recognise that actually, she wasn’t going to need to hit anyone with the enormous stick.
Dropping it, and her bag, she raced forward, her feet slipping cartoon-like on the icy ground.
‘Careful!’ said one of the figures. ‘You’ll break a leg.’
She barely cared. Racing up the steps, she flung herself into Harriet’s arms. Her sister hugged her in a tight, urgent squeeze.
Then she did the same to her father, feeling the familiar warmth of his embrace that took her back every time to childhood and feeling safe and cared for. ‘Is Mum here too?’ she asked.
‘Of course. We didn’t leave her at home alone. She’s not Macaulay bloody Culkin!’ Harriet said.
‘Come in, for God’s sake,’ her father said, giving her back an affectionate pat. ‘It’s bloody freezing. You’ll catch your death.’
‘Yes, Dad,’ she said in the voice of a reluctant teen.
Her mum and Harriet were just inside, standing in the hallway, hands clasped together, smiling with a kind of girlish glee at the fact they’d managed to surprise her.
‘Surprise!’ Harriet told her. ‘Merry Christmas and all that.’
Nicola hugged her again tightly, her heart still pounding from the shock. ‘I don’t understand. You planned this all along? Why didn’t you tell me?’
‘Not exactly. It just kind of… happened.’
Laughing, full of relief and adrenaline and happiness, Nicola found herself saying.
‘So, you came to France last minute? Who drives for ten hours on a whim? And whose whim was it?’ She felt almost breathless to see them all here in her living room, although if she’d known they were coming, she might have actually done the washing up.
‘Actually, it was mine.’
She turned and genuinely gasped in shock. Steven moved forward into the light, hands in pockets, looking tired and sheepish. His hair looked longer and in need of a cut, and he had a day’s worth of stubble. But he was here. He was here!
Strange phone calls and feelings of doubt and suspicion fell away as she rushed to him, almost knocking him backwards with the momentum.
‘Hello, gorgeous!’ he said, grinning and wrapping his arms around her back.
He squeezed her tightly and she felt for the first time in months completely and utterly safe and whole.
‘How long have you been here?’ she said moments later when she stepped out of his arms. ‘And why didn’t you tell me?’
She moved to her mum, gathering her into her arms.
‘And spoil the surprise?’ Steven joked. ‘Never.’
‘The house looks beautiful,’ her mum said softly. ‘Really Christmassy.’
‘You like it? I went on a shopping frenzy when I thought you were coming!’
Mum held her at arm’s length, her eyes shining. ‘You did it for me?’
‘The Queen of Christmas, coming to my place for the season? I had to!’
Mum laughed. ‘Oh. Well, I hope you didn’t put yourself to too much trouble?’
‘Actually.’ She paused. ‘I’m beginning to see why you do it. How… I mean, yes, the electricity bill’s going to be astronomical, and the neighbours probably think I’m mad. But it’s uplifting isn’t it? And not just for you but for everyone else. I get it. I get it, now.’
Mum drew her in for another squeeze. ‘You,’ she said, ‘are a wonderful daughter.’
As they drew apart again, a silence fell over them all.
‘Let’s sit down,’ her mum said. ‘Have a cup of tea.’
It was the most British thing she’d heard anyone say in months.
* * *
‘So, you got the time off unexpectedly and were going to drive over, then had the idea of hiring a people carrier?’ she said to Steven a little later when they’d relayed the story to her.
‘That’s it, and look, I was going to say something. But you’d told us you had this Christmas Eve thing and we didn’t want you to miss it, waiting around for us. I wasn’t sure we’d be here before midnight.’
‘And you were OK? Travelling?’ she said to her mother. ‘After… you know?’
Her mum shrugged. ‘Steven rang and it just sort of felt… doable,’ she said. ‘He’s actually a pretty good driver!’ she added, and they all laughed.
‘Don’t sound so surprised.’
‘I know, it’s just you kids still seem eighteen to me half the time,’ her mum admitted.
Gabi trotted into the room and made a beeline for Harriet, jumping onto her lap and purring loudly. ‘And I take it this is your new addition?’ Harriet said, stroking the little cat’s head.
‘Yes, this is my new housemate!’
‘I’ve been replaced?’ Steven said, raising an eyebrow.
She knew he was joking, but Nicola stood, walked towards him, wrapped her arms around him. ‘Never,’ she said.
He gave her a squeeze. ‘I am very glad to hear it. And you too.’
‘I’m what?’
‘You’re irreplaceable.’
She smiled. ‘Good. Because I’m not going anywhere.’
They paused, her head against his chest, his lips lightly grazing the top of her head in a kiss.
‘I’ve got to ask,’ he said then, his face more serious. ‘What on earth happened next door?’
She told them about the fire, about Monsieur Rémi, about Lucien rescuing the picture.
‘Bloody hell,’ Steven said. They were sitting on the sofa in front of her own intentional blaze.
Heat from the wood burner was thawing out the room and she felt sleepy and content after her large meal, the adrenaline of shock and the exhaustion as it had faded away.
‘I’m glad you weren’t hurt. That nobody was hurt. ’
‘I know,’ she said. ‘I guess we were lucky.’ The word hit her and she looked over at the angel on the windowsill, its halo glowing innocently, flashing slightly in the light from Santa’s sleigh still resolutely flickering on her lawn. ‘Maybe it was the angel.’
‘The what?’ Harriet said.
She told them then about the angel at the market, the strange man who’d sold it to her, and what he’d told her. ‘I don’t really believe it,’ she said. ‘But I’ve started not to not believe it, if that makes sense.’
‘What, even before we arrived?’ Steven teased. ‘You felt lucky to have Christmas Day and probably at least one box of Ferrero Rocher all to yourself?’
She poked him playfully in the ribs. ‘No, but…’ She paused, her face growing more serious.
‘Monsieur Rémi – Antoine – he made me realise that luck is relative. That all the time I was feeling sorry for myself, I wasn’t counting my blessings.
I was disappointed and lonely and a bit worried about…
well, certain things. And it kind of clouded my judgement.
But when you look at things differently, you can see that there’s a lot of luck there too. ’
‘What, lucky it wasn’t your house that burned down?’
‘Harriet! It’s no joke. Poor Antoine.’
‘I know. Sorry. I’m just being facetious.’
‘I know.’ She smiled gently at her sister. ‘Anyway, I suppose I felt lucky that I had someone to share Christmas with, even if it was kind of sad…’
‘Sad?’
‘Yeah. I’ll tell you about that some time. But I’d met a new friend, Chloé, you know, the girl who I helped out of a snowdrift? And I realised that I had a great new year ahead, a new adventure. You know, on paper it’s not all bad.’
Steven kissed her head. ‘Careful, you might turn into an optimist.’
‘No chance of that,’ she joked. ‘Although I guess after all of you arrived just in the nick of time, I might have to start believing in angels. At least this particular angel.’ She went to the windowsill and picked it up. ‘Perhaps it brought you all here.’
‘Hang on, I did ten hours of driving and you’re giving that thing all the credit?’ Steven laughed. ‘I brought us all here.’
‘Maybe.’ She smiled, and they all laughed.
An hour later, she’d made up the beds in the guest rooms and her parents and Harriet had disappeared to bed.
It felt odd to have Steven in the bedroom with her. It had been her room alone for so long and now, although she knew him inside and out, he felt a little like a stranger too. In a good way though. In the way that made things feel new and exciting.
They changed into their pyjamas and brushed their teeth side by side in the en suite, like an old married couple, still making more room around each other than they would ordinarily.
Both perhaps feeling the newness and surprise of their sudden proximity.
Both avoiding bringing anything up that might come between them.
Until Nicola decided enough was enough. ‘You’re going to have to tell me,’ she said.
‘Tell you what?’
‘What happened to your phone. What happened to suddenly mean you were free at Christmas after all.’
‘The phone thing?’
‘Yeah, first you left it in the hospital apparently, but then you said it was in a café.’ She felt her cheeks flush at the accusation.
‘I just… I suppose I got worried that you weren’t being entirely honest with me.
’ It was strange, having him here. The idea that she’d been suspicious seemed ridiculous.
But at the time, it had felt so real. She’d felt as if she were losing him.
He sat down next to her on the bed, put an arm around her. ‘The hospital has a café, remember?’
She shook her head, smiling wryly. ‘I didn’t think. And you were so far away. I just… I suppose my worst fears came to haunt me. It’s not that I don’t trust you. I do. I… Things just seemed off.’
He nodded. ‘I do get it. I was a bit worried about that Lucien chap for a while. That some dashing French bloke might charge in and sweep you off your feet while I was trapped in a hospital working nights.’
She laughed. ‘No chance of that, don’t worry.’ She thought suddenly of Lucien, of Annabelle, of poor Matthieu. There’d been no message from Lucien updating her on anything and she hadn’t felt able to send one to ask. Not until tomorrow. Hopefully everything was as OK as it could be.
‘So, have I been cleared of all charges, m’lady?’ he said, doffing an imaginary cap.
She laughed. ‘But how did you finally manage to get out of those shifts?’
‘Believe it or not, they’ve finally managed to recruit someone for the junior vacancy. Susan practically insisted I disappear immediately. They’ve seen how tired I’ve become, how miserable.’
‘Miserable?’
‘Oh, I’m still funny old nurse Steven with the kids. But Susan actually said if she had to spend Christmas at work, the last thing she wanted to have to look at was my miserable face.’
‘Very festive of her.’
‘Yes, I thought so.’
They smiled at each other. The miles between them had fallen away, and now some sort of invisible barrier had softened too. She leaned into him. ‘Sorry,’ she said. ‘I should never have doubted you.’
‘Same.’
‘This long-distance stuff…’
‘Tougher than we thought. But you know,’ he said, putting his fingers under her chin and tilting her face gently towards him, ‘I think you and I are made of tough enough stuff to get through it.’
She looked into his eyes, saw the love there, felt the connection she’d been missing for the months they were apart. ‘I think we are too.’
He leaned forward and brushed his lips to hers, tentatively; and it was like it was their first kiss all over again.
The same nervousness, the same thrill of electricity as they touched.
Then familiarity and passion took over and they leaned more deeply together, falling back onto the feather duvet and laughing as they began to explore the familiar territory of each other’s bodies again.
‘Merry Christmas, Mrs Smith,’ he whispered in her ear as he gently kissed her, then moved to her lips once again.
‘Merry Christmas to you too.’