20. Dawson
CHAPTER 20
DAWSON
“Let me get this straight,” she says, catching up with me in the parking lot behind the ice arena. “You just said the ‘L’ word in front of that photographer?”
“You mean love ? Yes, I said that to get rid of that jerk photographer. I’m protecting you so he doesn’t think...”
“I’m one of your hired dates?” she finishes for me.
I blink. “Dan told you?”
“My mom. It would’ve been nice to have known before she dropped that news in my lap. Here I thought you had a reputation.”
I rub my jaw. “It’s not something I tell people. It’s humiliating. I’m trying to stop my dad from interfering in my life, but he’s a control freak. I’ll do anything to keep that idiot photographer away from you.”
Her face softens. “If you want me to wear your jersey...”
“Not out of obligation,” I clarify. “Only because you want to.” Even though I’ve imagined her in it dozens of times.
“Did you know he’s the one who took the picture of us kissing?”
“I guessed it was him. That guy has followed me before. We have a history.
“The good news is it hasn’t surfaced yet,” I say with relief.
“That means he hasn’t sold the picture. Guess my reputation isn’t as lucrative as it used to be.” Something that probably frustrates my dad.
I look around. The fall night is crisp and clear, and the stars are out. A few leaves drift off the trees like snowflakes in a globe. I take her hand, suddenly inspired. “Let’s go for a walk. It’s too nice of an evening to be inside.”
To my surprise, she doesn’t fight me. Since most people have already gone home, we have the whole town to ourselves.
We walk toward downtown Maple Falls in silence, the moon lighting our path.
“What will your dad think about you holding my hand in public?” she asks.
“I don’t care what my dad thinks. Your hand is far more important than anything else. I’m not interested in being a sports celebrity like Travis Kelce or Tom Brady. If my pictures aren’t selling, Dad will get the hint and stop trying to meddle in my life.”
“Why don’t you just tell him how you feel?”
I drag my hand through my hair. “I have, but he doesn’t listen. He’s used to getting his way. He thinks I need the PR to get me to the top. Once I find someone to settle down with, he’ll stop.”
She doesn’t say anything at first. “Dawson, I’m so sorry.”
I shrug. “At first I thought it was great my dad was so invested in my career. He was always paying for private hockey lessons and personal coaches. The problem was he couldn’t stop there. He kept pushing for bigger and better. One publicist told him that your dating life can drastically influence your career. So he started setting me up with hired dates through this dating service. Then the press picked up on it and made me look like I had a reputation. Photographers were following me to restaurants, and I finally got sick of it and snapped at one place. I was tired of not having any privacy, of people poking around in my life. Then that incident became the next headline. Dad thought if he could find me a beautiful model, my popularity would catapult to the top, like Kelce’s did and I’d get more sponsorship offers. Instead, it made me fodder for the internet. That’s why coming to Maple Falls has been so good. There are still some photographers here but not nearly as many. This community protects itself from the outside world. It’s a place where people help each other.”
She gives me a weak smile as her eyes drop to the pavement. “But what if he’s always this way? What if there are certain expectations you can’t change, and he never accepts who you date?”
“He has to change. That means he’ll have to accept who I fall for. I won’t tolerate anything less.”
She tips her face toward me, and the moonlight hits her cheekbones. “Some of us struggle with change,” she says as we walk through downtown.
Outdoor lights hang from one of the shop awnings, casting a golden crown on her hair. I wish I could kiss her again. But after the other night at the bookstore, I’m not sure she wants me to.
“What are you thinking?” I ask.
She avoids looking directly at me. “I have to talk to you about something else.” There’s something hesitant in her voice.
“Okay. Is this something bad?”
“My family won’t approve of what I’m doing.”
I hope she’s not breaking up with me. I only have four more games left before I leave. My chest hurts just thinking about it. I want her in my life for as long as possible, and I still haven’t convinced her that we could be something more permanent.
She takes a deep breath. “There’s this guy I’ve been messaging with on social media. He’s just a friend, but I’d like to meet him, and I need someone else to be there. I can’t tell my family because they’ll think I’m crazy. Dan would never let me meet a stranger from the internet.”
I nod and straighten my face. I can’t let her see that I know who this guy is. The sooner I can reveal this to her the better, but my gut tells me now is the wrong time. I need to know how she feels about me first and whether I have a shot with her.
The wind plays with her hair, and I catch a strand in my fingers and tuck it behind her ear. She goes on, “That’s why I need your help. I wondered if you could join me when I meet him?” Her eyes spark, and I want so badly to tell her now. But I’m afraid she’ll be disappointed, mad even, because I knew and she didn’t.
“You want me to be your bodyguard?” I ask.
“That sounds so strange, I know,” she says with a laugh. “But yes. I’m asking you to be there. The only thing I ask is that you keep it a secret.”
This is complicated. Because if she has feelings for me, then why is she asking me to come?
I’m desperate to know, but asking her would require me to tell her the truth. And I’m not ready yet.
“Shouldn’t I be a jealous boyfriend or something?” I say with a trace of a smile. Because if I didn’t know who Gold Dog was, I might punch things after hearing this.
She looks at me, her frown deepening. “Are you my boyfriend? Because I thought”—she motions between us—“this was temporary. A seasonal thing, not a forever thing.”
“That depends on what you want,” I say. “It could be something more.”
She shakes her head. “It can’t. You’re headed to Seattle. I have Mimi to take care of, not to mention the bookstore to keep alive.”
“We could make it work.”
She looks down Maple Road. “Maple Falls is my home. I’m the only child who stayed here to help. If I date someone, it has to be someone who can accept that this town will be their home too.”
“You think this stranger from the internet can just uproot his life and move to Maple Falls?” Part of me hopes she’ll give up on this friend to see the man right in front of her.
She shakes her head. “No. I have no expectations that we’ll see each other again. He hasn’t given me any reason to think he wants more than that. All I’m asking is for you to come with me.”
I wrap her in my arms. “I’ll do it for you. On one condition.” The wind whips down the sidewalk, and I pull her a little closer to me. She doesn’t resist. “You’ll consider making this thing between us something... more?”
She tilts her chin and looks at me, but doesn’t move away. The chilly night is pulling us toward each other, two people huddling together for warmth.
“At least consider it,” I beg.
She gives me a sad smile. “We both know you’re heading to the NHL next. And that whatever this is between us will be over.”
“Emmy.”
She closes her eyes. “Don’t try to tell me all the reasons why it could work. I’m okay with it being just a fall fling. I decided that before I kissed you.”
“What if I could change your mind?” I urge.
“Dawson,” she says, sliding her hands around my neck. “I would never want you to give up everything you’ve worked for. Just like you’d never ask me to leave Maple Falls. It’s okay if some things are for a season. This is the best fall I’ve ever had, thanks to you.” Her lips curve into a grin.
“The best?” I ask. “What if you end up falling for this stranger on the internet?”
“I won’t. Promise.”
I bite my lip, consider telling her my secret. But I can’t until she realizes she needs to choose us—before she meets Gold Dog. Then when the truth comes out, I hope she’ll understand why I waited to tell her.
A few leaves flutter from the trees, spinning in dizzying circles. Man, I want this woman to be mine.
“I can be your bodyguard when you meet this guy,” I finally agree.
“Oh, thank you!” she says and gives me a hug. “And he has a better name than internet guy. It’s Gold Dog. Named after his golden retriever.”
The dog I left back in South Carolina.
“Can I make one last request?” I say. “If internet guy gets a name, I think this thing between us should have one too. I’m not satisfied with being your fling, even if a fling sounds pretty hot. It makes me sound like a one-night stand. When it comes to you, I’m not satisfied with only one night.”
She laughs. “Then what do you want me to call you?”
“Your boyfriend,” I answer. It’s a bold request. But if I want to convince her, then I want to do it the right way. I want her to be mine. Exclusively .
Something flickers behind her eyes. “I’ll call you my boyfriend. Just don’t tell Mary-Ellen, unless you want the whole town to know.”
I grin, then sweep the hair from her face. The old-fashioned streetlights glow around us, bathing us in light.
“If you’re going to be my girlfriend, then there’s something else you need to do.”
“What’s that?” she asks with a frown.
“Learn to actually play. I heard you mention you always wanted to.”
“You don’t have time to teach me.”
“Name a night you’re free this week, and I’ll be your personal hockey trainer.”
She tilts her head. “I don’t understand. Why are you doing this for me?”
“You said it was a childhood dream of yours,” I say, brushing a strand of hair over her ear. I look for any reason to touch her these days. “Emmy, I want to be the guy who helps you chase your dreams. I don’t want you to sit on the sidelines anymore.”