27. Emmy
CHAPTER 27
EMMY
I sit in the back booth of the Thai restaurant alone, everything in me as taut as a guitar string. The memories from the last time I was here unspool like a long thread. The night on the motorcycle. The way his eyes were always on me. Studying. Careful, as if he were trying to memorize every part of me.
That was back when I thought I’d never date Dawson. Never meet Gold Dog. We talked under the safe space of anonymity, telling each other things we couldn’t tell people in real life.
If Gold Dog is Dawson, I want a private place to finally have this conversation. To talk about us. Outside the stadium is too exposed. Downtown Maple Falls will draw too much attention.
It has to be here, outside of town. Our favorite Thai place—where it all started. Saying it’s our favorite feels like something only couples do. I’ve never thought of myself and Dawson as a real couple before. It all felt so temporary, until now.
My brain can’t wrap itself around that revelation that Gold Dog and Dawson might be the same person. I’m too devastated by it. And honestly, too hopeful.
Combining those two people—the two people I’ve come to know and love in ways I don’t understand—would be more than I could hope for. As much as I’ve railed on BookTok about not finding good men in real life, I’ll have to come out with the truth. Good men do exist. Not perfect men, of course. But the perfect man for me .
Life will never be like the books. But in some ways, it can be so much better.
A large bowl of pad thai sits in front of me, uneaten. The peanut and rice vinegar sauce wafts through the air.
I know he needed to stay for the final press conference. But what if he changed his mind? If he’s not coming, I’m going to be eating a lot of pad thai by myself.
I pull out my phone and send a message to Gold Dog. If I don’t do it now, I might be too afraid to say it later, and too choked up to remember the words.
Romcom Book
I have so many things to tell you. If you are who I think you are, I’m not mad. I’m just in awe that it could be you. I wanted you to hear my news first. Before the game tonight, I sent Stewart my official resignation letter, officially quitting my job. I love the bookstore. But you’ve helped me see that I have a choice. Things don’t have to stay the same. Starting today, I’m going to write my own story. Shoot for the moon. But I didn’t do it without asking for Dan’s help with Mimi’s financial needs. He agreed, and I took that as my green light to move forward. I also posted my first video with my face AND name on BookTok. There’s nothing wrong with wanting privacy, but keeping my account anonymous has been a way for me to hide. Stay small. It’s been a way for me to have a voice without being brave enough to claim that voice as my own. I won’t hide anymore. Not from the world or you. In a few days, I’ll shut down the account. I’ve had enough press for a lifetime. If there’s one thing I’m glad about, it’s that I met you there. Thank you for showing me what’s real can be better than the books.
P.S. My name is Emmy Roberts. But you already knew that, didn’t you?
I send the message into the universe, right before a motorcycle roar pulls my gaze to the parking lot. The sun is setting like a purple bruise across the sky, and my heart feels like a balloon about to burst in my chest.
Dawson checks his phone, still straddling his bike, then catches me staring at him through the window.
I could look at him all day. A lifetime, even.
His lips curve into a smile. My heart somersaults.
Gold Dog
I’m glad I met you too, Emmy. P.S. You look good in my jersey. And by good, I mean absolutely stunning.
The whole time I was trying not to fall for Dawson, I was falling for him anyway.
Isn’t it funny how love is? When you least expect it, it shows up like a message from a stranger.
Dawson strides inside, not stopping to notice the few people staring at him because he’s famous.
He approaches me with an intensity in his gaze that makes my breath hitch.
He stands next to the booth where I sit and doesn’t say a word.
“Hey,” he whispers not breaking the staring contest between us.
“Are you really . . .?”
“Yes,” he answers before I can finish. “I’m Gold Dog. I found you by accident and challenged you to find someone as good as the books.”
I feel the slow unfurling of my breath, like a flower opening. “You proved me wrong.”
He sets a box in front of me. I can see through the plastic window in the top: pumpkin cheesecake. Another favorite.
A slow grin spreads across my lips. “When did you know it was me?”
“I didn’t at first. Then I saw your video with the hockey footage, and it was too coincidental.” He pauses, studies me. “Are you upset?”
I drop my gaze to the table. “Maybe for two seconds, right before you got pounded on the ice.” I smile up at him. “If I’d found out before tonight, I might have been mad. Thought you’d been keeping it from me.”
He shakes his head. “What’s changed?”
“I realized I wanted it to be you all along. I wanted Gold Dog to be someone I could tell anything to because he’s”—I correct myself—“ you are my friend. Putting Gold Dog together with you felt like the two perfect pieces coming together in my life. But why didn’t you tell me?”
He rubs the back of his neck. “Talking to you as Gold Dog was seeing the real you. And I liked our conversations too much to give that up. Truthfully, I was afraid of losing you if I did. I was hoping you’d send Gold Dog a message one day, saying you were falling for me. It seemed like an easy solution. Then when you didn’t, I wanted to hold on to what little time I had with you. I couldn’t let you go when I knew my time with you was counting down. I was too afraid of losing you if I told you the truth.”
“You kept me in the dark so you could be with me longer?”
His lips curve into a grin. “Not on purpose. I’m terribly impatient. I wanted all of you. The girl who hid behind her messages but showed me her heart. The girl in Maple Falls who I couldn’t let go of. I wasn’t about to give either version of you up. That’s because I was in love with every part of you. The parts you let me see, the parts you keep hidden. The day I realized it was you was the wildest thing. I only hope you can forgive me for loving you so much that I couldn’t lose you. In return, I want you to see every part of me. This is all I can offer. My grand gesture.”
He slides a book in front of me. Not just any book, but the book. Perfectly Wedded.
“Why did you bring this?”
“It’s my annotated edition.”
“What?” I shake my head, not understanding.
“The notes I brought to book club were only the beginning.”
I take it slowly, but don’t open it. “Why are you giving it to me?”
“Emmy. Just look at it,” he says, leveling his gaze.
I open to chapter one and see his messy handwriting in the margins. The places he’s underlined. The notes he’s taken.
“You wrote in your book?”
“I’m a monster, I know,” he says with a half-grin. “But I wanted to learn how to woo a woman. Figure out what you like, what makes you smile.”
I swallow, the heat rising in my chest. I knew he took notes, but I had no idea that it was all for me. “And did you learn anything?” My voice is shaky.
He nods. “Quite a lot. That’s why I took notes. All for you.”
My hands shake as I thumb through the pages and see his scribbles in the margins.
Pay attention to only her. Treat her as a partner and equal. Remember her favorite things. Surprise her often. Just show up even if she doesn’t ask you. Don’t ever let her doubt she’s important to you.
I almost can’t find my voice. “You. Did. This?”
It might take an entire day to get through all his notes, but I’m going to savor these like the most delicious dessert.
“It seemed only fair,” he says. “You’ve been sharing things with me online before you realized who I was. I never wanted to break your trust. So in full disclosure, I’m sharing my notes from this book. I only hope it’s enough to make you trust me.”
“But you don’t have to do anything for me, Dawson. I already trust you.”
“I want to,” he insists. “Now that you have it, do you want me to stay or go?”
With my heart bucking in my chest, I leave the book open on the table and stand to face him. I meet his gold-flecked eyes while everything in me coils to a breaking point.
I put one hand on his face. “Please stay,” I whisper. “I always wanted it to be you.”
He pulls me into his arms, exhaling into my neck.
“I thought you’d ask me to leave,” he whispers, his breath brushing my skin like butterfly wings.
“Why would I ask you to leave, when you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me? You took notes in a romance book.”
“Yes, I did. Wait until you see my notes for Pride and Prejudice .”
I laugh into the soft cotton of his shirt. “You’re joking, right?”
“Nope. I’m a hopeless romantic.”
I laugh against his chest and let myself lean into the familiar scent I’ve grown used to. The scent of mountain stream and love and all things that make me feel grounded and safe.
My brain shifts from I can’t believe I’m meeting Gold Dog to I can’t believe I’m hugging Dawson in public, for the world to see. We don’t have to hide anymore. When I threw down the gauntlet on BookTok, challenging anyone to refute my claim that the perfect man doesn’t exist, I didn’t expect the person to prove me wrong would be Dawson. He not only showed me that he loves me well, he also proved he would go to the ends of the earth for me. Or in this case, Maple Falls.
“I ordered pad thai for us,” I say, but he doesn’t let me go. Just keeps me in the warmth of his arms. “Anything else you want?”
“Besides you? Nothing.” He rests his chin on top of my head.
“When you head to Seattle, can I keep your jersey?”
“It was meant for you.” He pulls back, his eyes roving down my body. “Maybe it’s too soon to admit this. But I want my name permanently on your back.”
“Permanently?” I shake my head. “That’s a big promise. I thought you’re moving to Seattle?”
He smiles. “For games, yes. But I’ll be back every chance I get. I know you don’t think we fit in each other’s worlds, but I’m going to prove you wrong. I like a challenge, Emmy. When I messaged you the first time, I thought it was nothing more than a gutsy face-off with a stranger. What I didn’t realize is that I would fall for you, fully and completely. And when I did, I learned I was okay with losing. I wanted to lose everything if it meant I’d get you in the end.”
I smile. “So we’re going to try to make this work?”
“I’ve already worked on a plan. I’ll get one place in Seattle and one here. We’ll see each other as much as we can, until I retire from hockey in a few years. Then I’ll settle here for good. If you want me around?” He presses a kiss to my forehead, his lips lingering there long enough for the tingle to run down my body. It’s the most familiar thing in the world, something I could never grow tired of.
“Want you around? Without question.”
“By the way, happy Forever Day,” he says brushing his thumb over my cheek.
“What holiday is that?”
“Our new holiday. The one I made up. Just for us. ”
“We should celebrate,” I say. “Any ideas?”
“A few.” He gives me an adorable smile. “I normally don’t kiss so soon after meeting a stranger from the internet, but I could make an exception this time.”
He presses a light kiss to my collarbone. Then another.
Kisses across my collarbone.
“Is that why you kept a list and wrote in my favorite books?”
He takes his other hand and tangles it in my hair and whispers against my ear. “Every single thing I’ve done has been a love note for you. You were always the one for me. Ever since I hid in a wine cellar and made a dating pact. There’s only one question left for you to answer. Is our love better than the books?”
I smile, because I already know it’s true. “Without question.”