Chapter 23
Chapter Twenty-Three
S hiloh couldn’t stop smiling. The terror that had gripped her during the conversation with Serenity was almost completely gone, though a tiny piece lingered in the back of her head.
She’d spent too many years trying not to be her mother, and that wasn’t going to change in a single evening. But with every touch, every glance, and every shy smile she and Granger shared…the worry about committing to a true relationship, grew less and less.
She’d been falling for him the whole time, but somehow she hadn’t noticed just how deeply it was settling. She’d been imagining a hard crush…when it was really something much more permanent.
It was terrifying…and yet, good. Serenity was right. She felt good when she was with Granger. That had to mean something.
“Have you been here before?” Granger asked, after their hostess left them at a corner table in the small restaurant.
Shiloh shook her head. “No. I tend to stick a little closer to home. Business lunches are usually done at Granny George’s. One bite of her pie, and I always come out the victor.”
Granger chuckled, and a warm sensation that Shiloh was starting to grow used to, built in her chest. There was something about seeing him happy that made Shiloh happy. He was the serious one in their little trio and Shiloh didn’t really mind that, but she especially enjoyed it when he let down his guard and played with her.
Five minutes later, their orders were in, and Shiloh was faced with just her and Granger. No menus, no waiters, no children.
“So.” Granger cleared his throat and leaned his arms on the table. “Tell me about the real estate business.”
She raised her eyebrows. “What do you want to know?”
“Why real estate?”
Shiloh nodded. “A good first question.” She took a sip of water, savoring the cool feeling sliding down her hot throat. Being in the half dark corner of the restaurant had her feeling a little too warm tonight. Setting down her glass, Shiloh shrugged. “I’ve always enjoyed people,” she hedged. “So a profession that didn’t require tens of thousands of dollars to become qualified for seemed an ideal situation.”
Granger tilted his head to the side, his eyes narrowing. “Is that it? You like people, and it was easy to become an agent?”
She shrugged again and ran her finger down the condensation of her glass. “No, but that’s the easiest answer.” Shiloh stilled when his hand took hers, and Granger held it from across the table.
“I like you, Shiloh,” he said softly, his voice barely loud enough to be heard over the background music. “A lot. I’m pretty sure I’ve made that clear.”
Shiloh nodded.
“I don’t take getting into a relationship lightly. I know you said from the beginning that you’re not into deep, lasting relationships, but I can’t help feeling that together we’re already changing that.”
Shiloh’s breathing was growing more shallow by the minute. “What…what are you getting at?” she croaked, Serenity’s words about love were clanging through Shiloh’s head, and the fear was starting to rise.
“I’d like to hear the not-easy answer.” Granger held her gaze, his request so simple and yet so difficult.
Shiloh had shared some about her mother. Granger knew her childhood was less than ideal, but could she share it all? Could she share why she wasn’t into a long-lasting relationship? Could she possibly explain why helping people find their dream homes was such a big deal to her?
When she didn’t answer right away, Granger’s expectant face seemed to droop, and Shiloh’s stomach went with it. “I can be?—”
“I never had a home.”
Shiloh’s eyes widened, and she wanted to slap her hands over her mouth. Only one person in this world knew why Shiloh was a real estate agent. And she was watching Zane tonight.
Granger frowned and leaned back a little in his seat, his fingertips still holding hers. “You…what?”
Shiloh closed her eyes and tried to regulate her breathing. This was Granger. The man whose ex-wife had left him with a child and never came back. He understood pain. He understood rejection.
Maybe it was time to let him understand Shiloh.
She opened her eyes and forced a smile she didn’t feel. “Remember what I’ve told you about my mom? How she went from guy to guy, never settling, always…always looking for something better?”
Granger nodded, and his fingers tightened on hers.
“Well…part of settling down meant that she never had a place to settle down to. Changing men meant changing where we slept. I never had a true home growing up. Not one that I could really call my own anyway.”
Granger slowly shook his head from side to side, the edge of his mouth curling up. “And now you help others find a home to call their own.” Granger leaned in until he could kiss her palm.
The press of his warm lips against her hand sent a jolt straight up Shiloh’s arm, and she barely held back a gasp.
“Shiloh, I don’t think a day goes by that you don’t cease to amaze me.”
Shiloh huffed a short laugh. “I seem to recall a time not that long ago when that was a complete lie.”
Granger pursed his lips and nodded, his gaze dropping to their hands. “I suppose if I’m going to ask hard questions of you, it’s only fair that I offer the same in return, huh?”
“You don’t mind?” Shiloh asked before Granger could go further.
“Mind what? Sharing my story?” Granger responded.
“No.” Shiloh blinked several times. “The fact that I lived with different men growing up. Or that I was basically homeless. That my mom was an emotional mess. Aren’t you…” Shiloh bit off the rest of what she was going to say. She felt so foolish, gushing all this at a dinner table on their very first date.
Yeah, she and Granger had technically been dating for a few weeks, but tonight was a new step, a deeper step. How could he not be upset about the way she was raised?
“Am I worried you’ll be just like your mother?”
Her head snapped up so fast that a nerve twinged, and Shiloh winced.
Granger sighed and let go of her hands, leaning back against the chair. “I suppose I could be. I mean…I was worried at first that you would be just like my ex-wife, and truth be told, if you were the wandering kind, then that would be true.”
Shiloh tried to swallow the lump forming in her throat, but it was apparently made of glue, because it wasn’t shifting at all.
“But you’ve taught me a few things since we met.”
She looked up at him warily.
“You’ve taught me that I can’t judge one person by another’s behavior.” Granger raised an eyebrow. “You’ve taught me that you have a deeply compassionate heart.”
Shiloh frowned.
“You’ve taught me that you’re loyal to friends, you have an amazing work ethic, you like to have fun, and that I was stuck so deep in my presupposed misery that I almost missed it.”
Well, that was…unexpected…to say the least. Shiloh’s racing heart was back, but this time, it had absolutely nothing to do with worry about her mother or her background. This time it had everything to do with the fact that Granger had just joined the small club of people who were willing to see Shiloh for who she was…not who she was raised by.
Granger was going to throw up. He’d just spilled a whole lotta something…and it was their first real date.
Who did that?
He wouldn’t be surprised if Shiloh packed up and left him sitting at the table. Ella had once told Granger he took things too seriously. Maybe she’d been right.
A first date should be fun and light and a get-to-know-you opportunity. Not a “let’s dig deep and find out each other’s darkest secrets” situation.
“Thank you,” Shiloh rasped.
Granger’s heart skipped a beat. “Thank you?”
She smiled, her eyes watery, and gave a quiet laugh. “Thank you. I know we got off on the wrong foot all those weeks ago, but thank you for being willing to get to know me anyway, even when your experience said it wouldn’t be a good thing.” She took a deep breath and blew it out slowly. “I’ve spent years trying to convince myself that I’m not my mother, but sometimes it’s hard to believe that others will think that as well.”
“You convinced me you weren’t Ella,” Granger said with a shrug. “I don’t think the other is too far of a stretch.”
His heart was hammering in his ribcage. Shiloh truly did surprise him at every turn. How had he ever managed to turn up his nose at her?
He’d been attracted to her looks immediately. Any man would be. But the more he got to know her, the more impressive she became.
“Still. Thank you,” she said, wiping under her eyes. “Ugh. I’m not much of a crier, but when the tears do come, they don’t come pretty.”
Granger frowned, and Shiloh laughed again.
“I’m an ugly crier, Granger. Some women weep with pretty tears, and their faces stay perfect. I get red nosed and snotty, and even my dark skin can’t hide the blotchy redness that accompanies the active tear ducts.”
Granger closed his eyes and shook his head, chuckling. “Women are strange.” He opened his eyes to see Shiloh pointing a finger in his direction.
“Men notice,” she declared. “They just usually have the good sense to wait to talk about it when they’re away from the women.”
Granger started to respond, but their waiter took that moment to arrive with their dinners. “Thank you,” Granger murmured when a plate was set in front of him. The steak was steaming, and when the smell hit his nose, Granger couldn’t fight the grumble that came from his stomach.
He would never admit that he’d been too nervous to eat earlier. It seemed like a girly thing to do, but Granger had been sure he was going to lose it. It had been so long since he’d taken a woman out, and Shiloh was becoming so important to him.
Serenity’s suggestion to be patient with Shiloh seemed a little less pertinent now that they’d already opened the floodgates of past lives. But Shiloh’s explanation made Serenity’s words make more sense.
“I’m so hungry.” Shiloh groaned when the waiter left. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “And this smells divine.”
A grin tugged at his mouth as she dug into her pasta with gusto.
Shiloh paused when her second bite halfway to her mouth. “You know,” she teased. “It’s impolite to stare.”
Granger lifted one shoulder. “Can I help it if it’s fun to watch you?”
She rolled her eyes. “Flattery will get you nowhere with me.”
“That wasn’t flattery.”
Shiloh paused, looking intrigued. “Oh? Then what was it?”
“Truth.”
She smiled. “That’s even worse.”
Granger made a face. “You want me to lie to you? That would be better?”
“Nope.” Shiloh took a bite and chewed before answering. “It’s worse because it makes me feel like I have to reciprocate. Thus, truth will eventually turn into flattery because of societal norms.”
His frown deepened. “I repeat. Women are weird.”
“And yet you like us.”
Granger chuckled. “I suppose you have me there.” The next couple of minutes were lacking verbal noise, but between flirty glances, shy smiles, and moving eyebrows, it was as if they’d had an entire conversation.
“You know…” Shiloh put her elbows on the table and studied him. “I thought you looked good when you had a couple day’s growth on your face, but…” She pursed her lips. “The clean shaven thing is pretty nice too.”
Heat licked Granger’s spine. He wasn’t used to women complimenting his looks. Ella must have been attracted to him at one point in time, but women didn’t seem to make a regular habit of telling him he looked good.
“Now who’s trying to get something?” Granger grunted, not quite sure how to feel about her bluntness. “Or is this you reciprocating my earlier comment?”
Shiloh smiled. “I’m not trying to get anything, and it isn’t reciprocation. I like to say what’s on my mind. And I was sitting here thinking that I had a pretty handsome dinner partner. Is that so wrong?”
He shifted in his seat. “I guess not.”
“But I made you uncomfortable.” Shiloh dropped her hands to her lap. “I told you I’m a lot.”
Granger took a deep breath. “A lot doesn’t mean bad,” he said. “I’m just…adjusting, I guess. When my main companion for the last five years has been a little kid, I can’t say that I’m used to people commenting on my looks.”
She smiled again. “Then I suppose that’s all the more reason for me to do it.”
Granger huffed a laugh and cut another bite from his steak. “Here…” He lifted it toward her. “Try a bite.”
Shiloh leaned forward and took the bite off his fork. “Mmm…” She closed her eyes as she chewed. “You’re right. So good.”
Geez, she was beautiful. How had his life come to this? Left behind, rejected by his own wife, and now a bright, vivacious, gorgeous real estate agent had Granger acting like a young kid.
As the rest of the meal went on, it was as if he were living in another universe. Things just felt so…easy. So perfect.
Maybe Serenity was right.
Maybe he was falling in love again.
Maybe Shiloh’s fun-loving personality would help make life better.
Maybe he wouldn’t scare off another important woman in his life.
Maybe they could make this work.
Maybe…he could finally let go of Ella and embrace everything Shiloh had to offer.