Chapter 7
seven
EMMY
I wasn’t asleep when Finn knocked on my door.
I’d been too excited.
Which, yes, was ridiculous. But true.
So true, there was a new cake sitting on my countertop. I wasn’t sure who it was for yet. Abby, maybe? I hadn’t given her a cake to celebrate her first completed semester as a fully online professor yet.
I opened the door after his first knock this time, and found him standing on my porch in nothing but a pair of sweatpants. His hands were tucked in his pockets, and those abs...
I nearly drooled.
How had I already forgotten how attractive he was?
It was really too bad I was wearing a pajama set this time.
Things got a lot more fun between us when I answered the door mostly naked.
My matching teal sleep shorts and tank top weren’t going to push us back into spicy territory, even though I’d already gotten horny again in the time we were apart.
“Hey,” he said.
How long had I been staring?
Shit.
His lips twitched, like he nearly smiled.
“Hi. Come in. Unless you changed your mind about the pancakes, which would be… fine.” I said the last word as he stepped past me with a grocery bag I hadn’t noticed sitting at his feet.
“Are you baking something?”
I shut the door behind him. “A cake. I owe Abby one.”
He saw it on the countertop, partially decorated, and thankfully didn’t ask how long I’d been awake.
“Here.” He pulled my thong out of his pocket and handed it over.
My chest squeezed. “Thanks.”
I ducked into my room to put it with my outfit for that night, ignoring the stupid way my heart pounded. After I dropped the fabric on my dress, my fingers lingered above it.
A beat of hesitation passed before I lifted it to my nose and inhaled. My eyes closed as Finn’s scent filled my lungs, mixed with laundry detergent.
He smelled so right.
And he’d washed it for me. That was thoughtful.
Having breakfast together was his idea, too.
Did that mean anything?
Probably not. It was just too long of a drive to go there and back without stopping. And his wolf was probably pushing him to spend a little bit of time with me. Making pancakes in my house was sort of easier than meeting for drinks at a bar.
We were just friends. Barely even friends. That was going to have to be enough.
I dropped the fabric again and padded back out to the kitchen. Finn had already stacked my dirty cake dishes next to the sink and was mixing ingredients in a clean bowl.
He hadn’t wasted any time.
Definitely in a hurry to leave.
That was fine. I needed a nap after he was gone anyway.
I met him in the kitchen, picking up the piping bag. My cake was only half decorated, which he must’ve noticed, because he hadn’t put the bag with the dishes when he moved everything else.
“This one isn’t pink,” he said.
It was a pretty shade of violet. Fun, but not bright or crazy.
“I make them different colors based on who it’s for. Hot pink is a Jade color.”
“Abby is purple?”
“Mmhm.”
“What color was Stella’s?”
“Rose.”
“So, pink.”
“I didn’t say Jade’s was the only pink one. I do love pink.”
Finn snorted. “What color would mine be?”
I didn’t have to think hard about it. “Forest green.”
“Would it qualify as Cabin Chic?”
I laughed. “You remember what I was rambling about that day?”
“I doubt I’ll ever forget.”
“Well, yes, the cake would be Cabin Chic.”
Silence fell between us while we both focused. It only lasted a minute or two before Finn spoke up again.
“What event are you going to at the university?”
“Oh, the theater department is putting on a performance of Wicked. It was going to be a girls’ night thing, but when we were buying tickets yesterday, Abby decided to bring Nico, Stella decided to bring Graham, and Jade decided to bring Wyatt.
Maya bailed when she heard they were bringing dates, so now me and Zoe are going as a couple too. ”
When Finn didn’t respond right away, I glanced over at him.
His jaw was clenched, and he was breathing through his teeth.
The possessiveness thing.
Right.
“Not romantically,” I clarified.
Finn jerked his head in a nod.
Silence fell again.
It was less comfortable this time.
“Did you read the book?” I asked, trying to lighten the mood. “I saw all the paperbacks in your house.”
The man lived in a verifiable library. I loved a good book as much as anyone, but I had never been much of a collector. Turning the pages on my phone or tablet was easier on my wrists, and I’d wrecked those early by writing on whiteboards at the wrong angle constantly.
“I did. It was nothing like the movie.”
“Or the play, from what I’ve heard. I didn’t read it.”
He grunted in agreement.
When he didn’t continue the conversation, I turned some music on. I hoped that would ease the tension.
It did. Slowly.
“Has your wolf tried to break out to come after mine?” Finn asked me, pouring batter into a pan.
I eyed his bowl.
I’d been stupidly hungry since I first shifted, so I was glad there was a crapload of batter. The amount still seemed slightly excessive for two people, though.
“No, she seems pretty laid-back. The only time she tried to get out was when I was driving with the windows down to grab something for dinner yesterday. I found a parking lot and shifted so she could chase squirrels for a bit.”
“You shifted alone, right outside of town?”
“Everyone who lives here knows—or at least thinks—werewolves might be real. It wasn’t dangerous. And it’s fun to live on the edge a little.”
“You can’t do that, Em. You’re going to get yourself killed,” he growled.
“Nah.”
He flipped the pancake somewhat violently, his entire body tense.
My stomach growled as my gaze tracked the chocolate chips in my breakfast through their journey to the other side of the pan.
“I’m not kidding.”
“Neither am I.”
Finn rumbled unhappily. “You can’t risk your life to chase a fucking squirrel.”
“My life was never at risk. And last I checked, I’m an adult. Pretty sure that means I can do whatever I want.”
“You’re my mate, Emmy.”
“So? We barely know each other, and we’re not even friends, Finn. I’m not going to change who I am just because we traded bites and had an insane amount of incredible sex.”
He stiffly pulled the pancake off the pan.
I continued frosting my cake.
“We should be friends,” he finally gritted out.
“You don’t want that. I gave you an out. Just stick with it.”
“I don’t want to stick with it.”
“Liar.”
He glared at me over his shoulder. “I wouldn’t be here making you pancakes if I was lying.”
“Then why are you here?”
He looked back at the pan and poured more batter in.
His motions were still stiff. Maybe even more than they had been.
He set the bowl down. “I think we should try to be friends.”
“Then maybe you should stop judging me for chasing squirrels.”
“I’m not judging you. It’s healthy for you to accept your wolf wanting that and let her take over. I just need you to be safe.”
So it was another part of that possessive, protective werewolf thing.
“My wolf stayed away from the hiking trails, and there was no one anywhere nearby. I know how to be careful, and she does too.”
“You shouldn’t have to be careful. I should be with you when you shift.” The words almost sounded painful for him to get out.
Like he didn’t want them to be true, but they still were.
“Is that what most mated couples do? Shift together?”
“Yeah.”
“I don’t know how that’s going to work if I’m living here and we’re just meeting at a bar once or twice a week.”
“I don’t want to get drinks together once or twice a week.” He still sounded like he was in pain. It was far from convincing, but I also didn’t think he was lying. “We should… hang out. More.”
“Try not to sound like you’re dying of excitement, Finn.”
He flipped a pancake and turned to face me, folding his arms over his chest. His expression was as guarded as his position was.
“I didn’t want a mate,” he said.
“I got that when your wolf growled at me just for existing in your house.”
“He growled at you for getting hurt and trying to walk when you were in pain.”
“Then I got it when you were having a panic attack because of the bond and were relieved when I said we could go our separate ways after the climax.”
He grimaced. “Sorry.”
“You don’t need to apologize. I’m not mad, Finn. You’re just confusing me. You don’t want to be with me, and you don’t want to spend time together, but you want to be friends? How is that supposed to work?”
“I’ve got no idea. I’m confusing me too,” he admitted.
“Things were comfortable when you first came in, but everything got awkward when I brought up the play tonight. Why?”
His grimace deepened.
“I’m not going to play games, and I’m not going to chase you,” I said firmly. “If you want to be friends, be my friend. Stop putting walls between us. I can handle it—I understand why you’re uncertain, and I don’t have a problem with it. I can take you not wanting to be my mate.”
He let out a harsh breath.
My nose twitched.
Was that…
Yeah, something was definitely burning.
“I think that pancake is destined for the trash can,” I told him gently, hoping it would be a small nudge.
He spun around, muttering a curse as he threw away the burnt disc, then moved the pan off the heat.
I leaned against the cabinets, waiting.
Finn stayed facing the stove. I thought maybe he needed the distance to get more comfortable. The situation clearly had him feeling off-balance, and I didn’t blame him for that.
If I’d been through what he had, I’d probably feel the same way.
“You didn’t ask me when you were buying tickets,” Finn said. “I would’ve gone with you. I would’ve wanted to. I don’t want to be mates, but I want to do shit like that. Like… friends.”
“If you want to do things like that, we wouldn’t just be friends. We would be dating. We’re connected permanently, and we spent multiple days naked together. You and I can’t go out with a bunch of real couples as friends. It would mess with my head.”
Finn didn’t reply right away.
I’d seen the romance books on his shelf, so I knew he had an idea of what dating was like for humans.
“Dating would be similar to being mates without commitment,” he finally said.
“Yeah. You could still back out and change your mind if we were dating, but it would change my expectations a little.”
“How?”
“Well, if you were my boyfriend, I would expect you to be there for me sometimes. If my car breaks down, I might ask for a ride. If I have to stay up late working and you’re heading into town, I might want you to pick up coffee or breakfast. If I’m painting one of my walls blue, I might want you to grab some extra brushes on your way over to help. ”
The tension in Finn’s shoulders pretty much disappeared. “Maybe dating is what I was talking about from the beginning. It’s just not really a werewolf concept.”
If those things were what he wanted, maybe he wanted a mate after all. Maybe his horrible experience with it had just given him the wrong ideas about what it would be like.
“Well it wouldn’t hurt to try it. We might have to take a break if I start catching feelings, though,” I warned.
“Alright. Just let me know.”
I nodded, even though he was facing the other way so he couldn’t actually see me.
“The tickets tonight have assigned seats, so—” I started, cutting myself off when my phone dinged with a message.
I leaned over to read the message.
Zoe
I was up most of the night puking. One of the assholes who scheduled a tutoring session yesterday was out with the flu most of the week, so he probably gave it to me. I’ll call Maya and try to convince her to go with you so you’re not third-wheeling with all the couples
I’m sorry
“What?” Finn looked at me over his shoulder.
“Zoe’s sick.” I looked up from my phone to meet his eyes. “Do you want to come, or do you want me to ask Maya?”
“I’ll go.”
“You’ll probably have to stop by your place to grab a shirt, then. If you own one.”
He snorted, turning back to the pan. “I own one.”
“Just one?” I teased. “Did you sell your shirts to pay for all those books?”
“I definitely considered it.”
“What kind of books are your favorite?”
“I read everything, but I like fantasy the most. Do you read?”
“I’m a college professor, Finn. I think enjoying reading is a prerequisite. Did you read Dark & Beastly Fae? That’s one of my favorites.”
He relaxed a ton while we talked about books, and the conversation flowed naturally.
By the time he drove back to Moon Ridge to get ready, I’d realized that there was a good chance I was going to fall in love with him.
Very good.
…oh well.
I’d deal with that when I had to.