Chapter Seven
Seven
Gondola
Daisy
M y legs are so wobbly, I have no choice but to take a water bus back to the hotel.
Besides, I can’t walk alongside Lorenzo now. What would I say to fill the silence? We can’t hold hands and stroll happily around like a couple. That’s not what we are. I need to digest what happened.
I’ve never had such intense sex with a man I wasn’t regularly dating. Hell, I’ve never had such intense sex in my life . And we weren’t even naked. He didn’t even come. It was just…me.
I sit at the front of the boat and enjoy the ride, not caring about exiting at the right station. I might as well roam around the Grand Canal, appreciating the beauty of Venice, until I can exist in myself again.
Not even all the wind in my face can cool down my flushed cheeks.
Our moment in the palace seems like a fantasy. A story someone told me.
The sensations linger in my body, though. My heart is still racing. My hands are sweaty. My legs are shaky. I touch my lips, and a smile escapes through my fingers.
I’ve kissed Lorenzo.
I was the one who started everything, lured him into the inevitable, and covered his lips with mine, seeking them eagerly. I can barely recognize myself. It’s the first time I’ve gone after a man like that, so boldly and shamelessly, despite knowing I shouldn’t.
I don’t even know his last name. Lorenzo is like a mysterious character from the old Venice. He brought me back in time as I asked. He made me the protagonist in a tale of seduction and freedom , I think as I marvel at the beautiful palaces and churches lining the canal.
I entered his world, and now I’m affected. I’m changed.
I’m in love.
With Venice and its spellbinding mystique , I correct myself.
I’m infatuated at most. I can’t possibly love someone so quickly. That is a trap I’m not letting my mind fall into. People meet someone and get so bewitched they think it’s love. But it’s always just lust. It leads nowhere, just to heartbreak.
I can’t help but enjoy the bewitchment, though.
Lorenzo gave me pleasure I’d never experienced before.
A romantic moment that was everything I haven’t allowed myself to live because I’ve been focused on achieving my goals—Dad’s dreams for himself, dreams he transferred to me, which I made my own.
I went on vacation, but I didn’t give myself an actual break until today.
I’ve longed for romance, for the magic Venice promised. But what I’ve ended up with is not the sweet and soft enchantment of a friends-to-lovers dream coming true—it’s ardent passion that fulfills the desires I didn’t even know I had.
But fire is dangerous. It could destroy everything I’ve carefully built—my plans, the future I’ve laid out for myself, and the walls that protect my heart.
I told myself I could live this life in Venice, while I’m here. But can I burn without breaking apart?
When I arrive at the hotel, I spot Jeremy at the water entrance, sitting on the step leading to the small wooden platform. I walk over to him, and he only notices me once I sit by his side.
“Hey,” we both say at the same time and laugh.
“What are you doing here?” I ask. He shrugs, eyes lowered, and I immediately sense he’s not well. “You’re not leaving, I hope.”
“Without luggage?” He raises his eyes to me, and I smile with compassion. I know he’s thinking about Alice. “I do feel like I should go home, though…”
“Why? You don’t like Venice?” I say with humor to lighten the mood.
“Too much water,” he says disapprovingly, and I feel a bit more at ease to know he can still joke.
“What did she say to you?” I can’t help my curiosity.
“She explained herself,” he says to his sneakers. “Asked me to forgive her.”
“Does she want you back?”
He shakes his head. “No, and even if she did… I couldn’t. Even though I still love her.”
The statement is heavy, and for a few seconds, maybe a minute, we stay side by side, letting the sound of the water hitting the wooden structure fill the silence between us.
“I’m here for you, okay?” I offer my hand, and he squeezes it, grateful.
Holding Jeremy’s hand as we look at the canal, I feel something warm in my chest. Not attraction or excitement. Comfort. Peace. It could be romantic, but after what I lived today, nothing else can seem romantic. The whole definition of romance has changed in my dictionary.
This is friendship. A pure kind of love. I rest my head on Jeremy’s shoulder, and he puts an arm around me. We stay like this for a while, comforting each other.
“I have to tell you something,” I say in a low voice and sit straighter, adding some distance between our bodies. He waits, and I take a deep breath before spitting it out. “I’m in love with Lorenzo.” In lust. Infatuated. I correct myself mentally, my heart racing out of control.
Jeremy’s eyes widen, and his mouth hangs open as if he wants to say something, but can’t find the words.
“Come on, spill it.” I gesticulate to show I’m ready to face whatever it is I’ll get from him.
“That’s…just…surprising…but not really?”
I blink at him in disbelief and repeat, “Not really?”
“Well, he’s nice and handsome.” Jeremy shrugs. “Besides, there’s been some sort of… tension between the two of you from the start that I couldn’t place. Now it all makes sense.”
“Are you not upset this happened while I was trying to fall for you?” I clench my teeth, afraid that a bad reaction is still to come. I didn’t tell him everything yet, after all.
“I’m not in love with you, so why would that make me upset? I’m just happy you’re over Ryan and found someone who can give you what I couldn’t.” He narrows his eyes. “Or is it platonic?”
I shake my head. Jeremy really is my best friend. He’s not judging me. He could have made this about him. He could be feeling betrayed. But instead, he’s concerned about my well-being.
“We’re attracted to each other, and today I surrendered,” I say, watching him carefully, still afraid he will snap. “ After we ended the project, just to be clear.” Then I rub my face. “Okay, that’s not entirely accurate. We had a…moment after the garden.”
I scratch my head, uncomfortable. Should I leave out the seduction lessons?
Fuck it. He’s my best friend.
“Lorenzo was teaching me to be confident and enticing so I could get you interested in me,” I blurt out in one breath.
“The whole thing was flirty and hot as hell, and the tension you mentioned just got stronger, and today I said fuck my self-control and kissed Lorenzo, and he gave me the best orgasm of my life in that casino.”
I hide my face after my confession so I don’t see Jeremy’s expression.
I just hear his “Whoa!” as he laughs in bafflement.
I laugh too, peering at him from behind my fingers.
My embarrassment fades quickly, and only amusement remains when I say, “Fuck me,” and he answers with a “Fuck you” as he bumps his shoulder on mine.
“Now, seriously.” Jeremy stops laughing and looks at me with intensity.
“Don’t feel bad about any of this, please.
I think it’s great that you’re letting go.
You’ve been working so hard, you’re still grieving, and Ryan, that asshole, didn’t treat you like you deserve.
You need a break from everything that worries you.
So please, Daisy, relax this week and enjoy it . ”
I snort because he’s right, but my worries haven’t left yet.
“I want to, Jeremy. Believe me, my body— my heart —is pleading for my mind to shut up. But what if my brain is right, and enjoying this week with Lorenzo gives me hopes I shouldn’t have?”
“Because they would get in the way of your plans to return to LA and reopen your dad’s restaurant?” I nod, picking at my nails. Jeremy lays a hand on my shoulder. “Daisy, I know how much that restaurant means to you, but if it feels like a burden, you don’t have to go ahead with it.”
My head snaps up. “What?” I frown, and he stares back at me, serious, challenging me to evaluate my goals.
“Nothing is settled. You haven’t bought it yet. There’s time to think about what you actually want.”
I shake my head. I’m not going to do this. The point of letting go with Lorenzo is living out my wildest urges here before starting the calm, stable life I know is best for me.
“Passion blinds you and consumes you, Jeremy.” I hold his gaze. “Following your impulses only leads to disillusionment.”
“Well, I can’t really disagree.” He holds my hand. “But your father did. He was passionate and impulsive, and he would have told you to let yourself feel whatever it is you’re feeling, intensely and fearlessly.”
My eyes pool, and it becomes hard to breathe. “Dad was like that, yes, but he admired my control and was sure it would lead me to a life of stability and contentment.”
Jeremy’s smile is more of a sneer. “But what if control, stability, and mild contentment isn’t what you need, only what you told yourself is safe because you’ve seen your dad fail for being the opposite?”
My chest tightens, making my heart feel caged. I know I need to hear these things, and that maybe he’s right. But what the hell am I supposed to do with this knowledge?
“Jeremy, I… I’m more like him than I dare admit.” I run my fingers through my hair until I’m gripping it at the back of my head.
“I know. And I understand you need to keep yourself in check so you don’t get burned.” He looks at the sky, thinking. “I’ve always been ‘the voice of reason’ in my relationships. But look where that got me.”
I smile back at him. Passionate and daring can be hot, but…
“Restless people can’t commit. They can’t provide safety and tranquility to their partners the way you can,” I tell Jeremy.
“Someone will value that in you one day. I personally do.” I tap his leg encouragingly, then sigh.
“God, it would be so easy if we had feelings for each other…”
“Maybe we would feel something if we kissed,” he says, careful and uncertain.
I squint at him. “Are you regretting that we ended the project or what?”