Chapter 21 Jasmine #3
“I do.” She wants to see them, hug them, reassure Lucy and talk to Lydia about being too materialistic (hypocritical, but .
. . ). She wants to lie on Lyra’s bed at bedtime and smooth her fine blond hair and see her daughter’s eyes grow heavy, the only time of day when Lyra isn’t in motion.
She looks at Micah, who is also holding a cup of coffee.
“Have a seat. Your arm must be tired from holding that mug.”
Micah snorts and obeys. “Hey, thanks for loaning me your shoes last night,” she says, twisting her wedding ring. “I thought I’d have more time to get ready.”
“No problem. Back in the day, you used to loan me your stuff, remember?”
A faint smile crosses Micah’s face. The Core Four were almost equal in terms of besties.
Almost. There was always a bit more connection between Beck and Audrey, and between Jasmine and Micah.
Audrey was so pure, and she glommed on to Beck’s goodness immediately.
But Jasmine and Micah were a little more gritty.
For a few minutes, the two of them just sit, looking out at the green, green grass. In the distance, the horses graze under the clear October sky. “Beautiful day, isn’t it?”
“It is. Times like this, I miss living in Vermont.” Jasmine turns so she can see Micah’s face more closely. “It was nice to meet your son last night.”
Tears immediately well in Micah’s turquoise eyes, making them even brighter. “Yeah. He’s a good kid.”
Jasmine waits for more, but Micah is quiet.
Should she say something? It’s not her business, but is she supposed to let Micah sit there with a cracked heart and tears in her eyes? “He reminded me of someone,” she says.
Micah looks at her sharply. “Who?”
Jasmine leans forward and puts a hand on Micah’s knee. “A certain predatory teacher who substituted at our school senior year.”
Micah’s eyes widen, and she lets her head fall back against the couch. “Shit. You really are the smart one. Points for observation. No one else has guessed.”
No one else has guessed and told you, that is. “Does James know?”
“No. But Logan does. Fucking DNA tests. I’m terrified he’s going to say something this weekend and basically destroy James’s world.”
“Did you ever file charges?”
“Against Mr. Bates? No. It was consensual. I was just trashy.”
“No, Micah,” Jasmine says in a quiet, firm voice she should use on her teenagers. “He was immoral and slimy and wrong. He was the adult. You were a teenager.”
“All those things. It was incredibly hot, too.” She pauses. “I made the first move.”
“It doesn’t matter if you took off all your clothes and lay down in front of him spread-eagled, Micah. Really. He should have left you alone.”
“I was eighteen.”
“So what? Lydia is sixteen. Do you think in two more years, it would be okay if her married teacher took advantage of her?” The thought makes her shudder.
“I threw myself at him.”
“And he was morally, ethically and legally obliged not to catch you. Hear me on this, Micah. He was old enough to know better. You were not.”
Micah sits back, eyes closed. Tears slide down her cheeks. She even cries beautifully, Jasmine thinks. “You won’t say anything to the others, will you?” Micah whispers.
“Of course not.”
“I felt so stupid, getting pregnant. That’s why I got drunk that night.
The night after graduation. James thought it was his, and I couldn’t tell him.
Then the accident happened, and I just .
. . I just couldn’t go through with an abortion.
And I’m so glad, because Logan is the best thing that ever happened to me. He made me into someone I almost like.”
“Oh, Micah,” Jasmine says. But she knows the feeling. So close to and so far from the people they could be.
Micah dashes away her tears with the back of her hand. “You’re the smart one, Jasmine. What should I do? I’ve already told Logan it would kill his father to know the truth, but he’s so angry. He thinks James deserves to know.”
“Does he want to meet his biological father?”
“I don’t know. He won’t talk to me. He didn’t even want to meet you guys last night, and he’s usually so friendly.”
Jasmine rolls Micah’s dilemma around in her mind. “You could tell James first. Logan can do what he wants, but if you’re honest with James, don’t you think he’ll understand?”
“Being Logan’s father means everything to him. I know they won’t stop loving each other. But I’m worried that they’ll stop loving me. I think Logan already has.” With that, she bursts into proper sobs.
Jasmine wraps her arms around her friend and strokes her hair. “I don’t think this one thing, as big as it is, will change everything, Micah,” she murmurs. “He loves you. It’s written all over his face, same as ever.”
“I don’t want to lose that.”
“I guess it’s a chance you’ll have to take.”
“It sucks.”
“It does.”
Micah snuffles and disentangles herself from Jasmine. “I’m sorry your husband is cheating on you. That sucks, too.”
“Yep. Also quite sucky.” They both laugh a little.
For a few moments, they sit like that, genuine friends again after all this time. No answers, sucky situations, but not alone. Not anymore.