Chapter 9
Chapter Nine
IRELAND
"Holy moly," I mutter, gaping at all the people milling outside the hotel. It's a madhouse. Why are there so many of them? Where did they all come from? "Has it been like this the whole tour?"
"On and off," Shelby sighs as the doorman helps us scurry inside. "As soon as they figure out where the guys are staying, they descend en masse. Sometimes, the guys can convince them to leave. Sometimes, they can't."
"Wow." I knew things were wild, but I guess I never knew how wild they could be. This is…wow. I can't imagine spending years of my life living like this. And they were just kids when they started, only teenagers. Most of them hadn't even finished high school yet. It had to be so overwhelming.
It's overwhelming now, and they're a lot older.
It makes me sad for the kids they were back then…
the ones with no privacy and no one looking out for what was best for them.
They were dollar signs to the label and everyone around them.
That's what people saw when they looked at them.
They didn't see Crue or Mason or Asher or Jameson or Jax.
They saw money and five ways to make more of it.
I'm glad they got out. Really freaking glad.
"How are things going with you and Crue?" Shelby asks once we're on the elevator.
"Good." I fidget with my hands. "Really freaking good."
"Yeah?"
I nod, avoiding her gaze. "He told me that he's in love with me."
"Of course he is, Ireland. And you obviously feel the same way."
"I do," I whisper. "I'm so in love with him it's a little terrifying." I lick my lips. "He wants to get married again after the tour."
"That's great, Ireland!" She bounces forward, flinging her arms around me in a tight hug.
"You'll be my maid of honor, right?" I ask, clinging to her. "I won't do it without you. I feel horrible that you weren't there the first time."
"Um, duh! Of course I'll be right up there beside you," she says, laughing. "There's no way you're getting married a second time without me."
I smile, relieved.
She pulls back, taking a step away. "So you're really giving it a shot, huh?"
"Yes." I swallow hard. "I'm still freaking out about everyone finding out. Part of me still thinks he's going to change his mind when the whole world finds out. I think that part may always worry, you know? I stopped believing in fairytales a long time ago. This feels like a fairytale."
"Well, maybe it's time for you to start believing again." Shelby grins at me. "Because this is happening, Ireland. You married your crush, and he's crazy about you."
She's right. It is time for me to start believing again.
"Maybe it's time for you to start believing, too, Shelby," I say as the elevator slides to a stop on the top floor.
"Yeah," she whispers. "Maybe."
* * *
"Come here," Crue growls, dragging me into the bathroom and slamming the door behind us as soon as we make it backstage. He boosts me up into his arms, pinning me against the wall.
My laugh ends in a moan as his lips come down on mine, a frantic edge to his kiss. He was on fire on stage again tonight, his eyes on me the entire time. I wore the shortest dress in my closet, paired with the highest heels I own, trying to drive him crazy.
I think it worked.
"I need you on my tongue," he growls, dropping to his knees. "Right fucking now."
He balances me on his shoulders, yanking my panties to the side. I hold on for dear life as he buries his face in my pussy without another word, growling as he eats me. I try to be quiet. Really, I do. But he's eating me like I'm his last meal, and I can't help but moan and whimper and plead.
Especially when I feel his tongue back there.
I shout his name, coming all over his face.
He rises to his feet, tearing through his zipper. Within seconds, he's buried inside me, his fist pounding the wall beside my head as he fucks me hard and fast. I bury my face in his throat, trying to stifle my cries as a second orgasm quickly blooms, throwing me over the edge.
He grunts when my body locks down on him, following me over.
We shake and moan together, riding it out.
"Goddamn," he breathes. "I needed that."
"I couldn't tell," I say drily.
"Smart ass." He nips my shoulder, making me giggle.
I wriggle for him to put me down, but he pins me against the wall. "Where do you think you're going, éire?"
"We should get out of here before they come looking for us."
"Uh, no. We should stay right here until they give up and stop looking for us," he says, one brow arched. "If they can't find us, I don't have to sign autographs again tonight."
"Who says you'll have to sign?"
"History, Ireland. A very long, very sordid history." He tips my chin back, kissing me. "I'm fucking terrible at Rock, Paper, Scissors."
I laugh against his lips, more than willing to stay right here until the freaking cows come home if that's what he wants. I'd do anything for this incredible man. Anything.
* * *
"Jesus Christ," he growls an hour later as we pull up outside the hotel. "This is chaos."
"Uh-huh," I whisper, shocked at the sheer number of people milling outside. There are so many of them that the police have put up a barricade. I count no less than four news vans parked on the street. It wasn't like this when Shelby and I left.
This is fifty times worse than it was then.
I pull my phone out of my pocket, dialing my sister.
"Hello?" she says, sounding out of breath.
"Hey. Um, have you been to the hotel yet?"
"Not yet. Why?"
"It's a madhouse."
"I know. We were there earlier, remember?"
"Yeah, this is not like it was earlier." I snap a quick picture and send it. "Check your texts."
"Hang on." She fumbles around with her phone and then I hear her sharp intake of breath. "Holy crap. What happened?"
"I don't know." I open a browser and type in the band's name to see what I can pull up. Surely, someone knows why they're all here now.
As soon as the results load, my stomach sinks like a stone.
Hitched to the Boy Band: Crue Blake Married in Chicago!
"Oh no," I whisper, my hands shaking.
"What?" Shelby asks.
"What's wrong?" Crue asks at the same time.
"The news," I choke out, tears filling my eyes as panic surges through me.
My worst nightmare is playing out right now.
It's too soon. I haven't had enough time.
This isn't long enough to sustain me for the rest of my life.
I was supposed to have more time with him before it all falls apart. "T-they know."
"Shit." Crue unlatches my belt, lifting me into his arms.
The phone falls from my numb hands, landing in my lap. He grabs it, putting it to his ear. "Shelby? She'll call you later. She and I need to talk and then we're going to talk to the press," he says.
"You can't talk to the press!" Shelby shouts. "Are you crazy?"
"I'm not hiding her," he growls. "She's my wife. And I'm the one who sent in the tip about our marriage."
Shelby goes silent.
Shock jolts my system. He's the one who told the world? Why? Why would he do that?
"She'll call you later," he says and then hangs up on my sister before dropping my phone to the seat beside him. "Look at me, éire."
"I…" I shake my head, afraid I'm going to cry if I look at him. "I don't understand," I whisper. "Why would you do this, Crue?"
"Look at me, Ireland."
I reluctantly lift my gaze to him, sad and confused and afraid and a million different things that make me want to freaking cry.
I knew they'd find out about us sooner or later, and our bubble would burst. I've been bracing for it since he told me we were married.
But I never expected that he'd be the one who tipped them off. I never thought it'd be this soon.
"Last night, you told me you were afraid that all of this would end when they found out about us," he says, holding my gaze. "I'm not going to let you live with that fear, Ireland."
"So you just decided to go ahead and break my heart now?" I cry. "You could have done it before you slept with me, Crue. Or before you told me that you loved me." I glare at him. "Or before I asked my sister to be my maid of honor at our second wedding."
"You asked Shelby to be your maid of honor?"
"It doesn't matter now."
"It matters more than ever, éire," he disagrees.
"I'm not going anywhere, and neither are you.
I didn't tell them because I'm leaving you.
I didn't tell them because I want this to end.
I told them because I want you to know that this is permanent.
We're forever, sweet girl. It doesn't matter who knows because it won't change a goddamn thing about us. "
"You don't know that," I whisper.
"I do know that. I know you, and I know how I feel about you.
That's not going to change today, tomorrow, or fifty years from now.
" He cups my cheek, running his hand beneath the bottom of my glasses.
"You stole my fucking heart, and you're not giving it back, Ireland.
I won't accept it. It's yours, baby. It'll always be yours. "
"Crue." A tear slips down my cheek. "Are you serious? There's a no-return policy on your heart?"
"Yeah, éire." He grins at me. "There's a no-return policy. So I'm going to need you to stop crying because it's breaking me. And we have a statement to make to all those people out there before I can get you alone."
I stare at him for a long moment, trying to process and pull myself together.
He means it; I know he does. I think the biggest part of me has known from the beginning that this was permanent for him, too.
But when you have something that means so much to you, you're afraid to lose it. That's human nature.
We cling tight to the things we love, terrified they'll slip through our fingers. And I don't want this man slipping through mine. I don't want to wake up without him. I don't want to go to sleep without him. I don't want to spend my days without him. I don't want to be without him, period.
I understand the song he was writing on the bus the other day. Maybe a little too well. Because if I ever lost him, I don't think I'd be able to breathe either. But that's not the future in store for either of us.
Ours is bright. How can it not be with a freaking superstar lighting the way?
If he's willing to endure everything he went through back then just to be with me, then, of course, I'll do the same for him.
This was never about me in the first place.
I've never been afraid of what they'd say about me or what it would do to me.
It's always been about protecting him. But if he wants me badly enough to go through all of this just to keep me…
well, I'd be crazy not to give this man exactly what he wants, wouldn't I?
Yes. A thousand times, yes.
"Let's do it," I whisper.
"Yeah?"
"Yeah." I nod, throwing caution to the wind and letting it carry the rest of my fear away with it as I slip my hand into his. He rewards me with my favorite lazy smirk, pulling open the door to the limo.
I let him pull me out…and lead me into our forever.
* * *
"You're all mine now, sweet girl," he breathes thirty minutes later, crawling over me in our bed. We're both naked, our clothes in a heap on the floor. They landed there as soon as we crossed the threshold.
The whole world knows about us now…or they will as soon as they log online.
He made his statement to the stations outside the hotel with me in his arms. Yes, the news is true.
Yes, we're married. Yes, he's happier than he's ever been.
They shouted a million questions at us. He didn't answer any of them.
He said what he had to say, kissed me as dozens of cameras recorded the moment, and then swung me up into his arms, carrying me inside.
The hotel staff and the police made a human shield behind us, blocking the entrance to the hotel after we went in. I don't think anyone else will be getting in anytime soon.
"Just now?" I ask Crue, looping my arms around his neck. "That's odd. I thought I was all yours all along."
He dips his head, nibbling on my lips. "Oh, you've definitely been mine all along.
Even your diary knows it. But now you're stuck in this room with me, and we don't have another show until the day after tomorrow.
" His lips slide down my throat. "You aren't leaving this bed, éire. Not until I decide to let you."
"I support this plan," I groan.
"Good to know." He pulls my nipple into his mouth, sucking hard. "But it wasn't really a negotiation."
"Bossy."
"Mmhmm." He moves to the other breast. "And you fucking love it."
He's right. I do love it. There isn't a single thing about this man that doesn't set me on fire or make me ache. And I get to spend the rest of my life loving him.
I know. My life is awesome.
Want my advice?
If a heartthrob offers you his heart, be the kind of girl who takes it.