Chapter 12
Walking into the doctor’s office, I had my scarf tied so tight I was damn near choking.
I had my big shades on, and praying this was enough.
I was trying to make sure no one would recognize me, so I had gone through extreme measures.
Walking to the counter, I checked in and sat down in the corner.
I pretended to read a magazine until they called me into the back.
Jumping up, I shuffled inside and allowed them to take my vitals before I gave them a urine sample.
I was too damn old to be in here getting checked for STDs, but here I was.
Even though I was ashamed, my saving grace was nobody knew who I was.
Going back in my room, I sat down nervously.
It seemed like it took the doctor forever, but he finally walked in.
“Good afternoon, Ms. Brooks. How are you on today? I’m Dr. Hoard.”
“I’m okay, considering.”
“I see this is your first time here but let me try and pull your records. Give me a minute to catch up.” I nodded even though she never looked up at me. “So, you want a screening and what else?”
“A plan b.” I said that shit proudly.
“Okay, we’re going to check you out first.” She left out and allowed me to get undressed. I took off everything but my scarf and glasses. Laughing, I laid on the table and was spread eagle. When she walked back in, she dug all in my kitty cat. Now I was sitting here waiting on the results.
“Okay, Ms. Brooks. It looks like you have Chlamydia again. I’m going to write you a prescription and I need you to take every pill.
” I wanted to yell out again, but I forgot I wasn’t really my sister.
Besides, how the fuck was I going to judge her, and I was sitting here with my pussy just a clapping.
This bitch was giving a round of applause and I was annoyed.
I know the clap is known as crabs everywhere else, but in Chicago, anything that had you leaking was the clap.
“Okay, and the plan b?” She passed me a cup, and I didn’t waste any time throwing it down my throat. I wasn’t mad at Devin, this was my karma for fucking a known hoe in the parking lot without any protection.
“Okay, you can get dressed. Get your paperwork from the front desk.” She left out as quickly as she had come in and I got dressed.
When I got to the front, it seemed as if they knew what was going on with me.
Or it least that’s how it was in my head.
It felt like they were giggling as they printed out my papers.
Snatching them out her hand, I did my walk of shame.
As soon as I got in the car, I called Shaq’s phone.
“Hey sissie.”
“Girl, how you gone say you didn’t want me to use your info because you didn’t want them to think you had an STD when you already had one.”
“Who told you that?”
“Bitch, they did. They was able to see your records.”
“Aww, I ain’t want a new doctor to see it. Shid, I can’t have every doctor in the city thinking this cat hot.” I looked at the phone as if I was staring at her.
“You’re crazy. Now they think you walking around with a reheated hot pocket.”
“Damn, so you did have something?”
“Yeah. I’m about to stop at the pharmacy and I’ll be at home. You can bring Mila.”
“Okay, I’ll see you when you get there.” Hanging up, I tried to clear my head. I hated to take negative energy around my daughter, she had enough going on. It’s like she could feel when something was wrong with me.
Pulling up at the pharmacy, I chose to wait the thirty minutes for my pills. I just wanted this shit to be over with and I didn’t want to take the chance of me getting caught. All of this because I had a dumb college crush on a known womanizer.
Finally, they sent me my meds and I went on my merry lil way.
It didn’t take no time to pull up at our house in Oak Park.
When I got in the driveway, I took a deep breath and released all of my bullshit in the car.
I could be mad at myself, but for now, church and state.
Getting out, I walked in the house with a smile.
Mila ran up to me and wrapped her arms around me immediately making me feel better.
“Mommy, can we feed the fish?” I swear this lil girl just wouldn’t accept she didn’t have to feed them that much, so I always gave in.
“Just a pinch. Remember, you don’t want to overfeed them.”
“I know mommy. You don’t have to keep talking to me like I don’t know what I’m doing.
” Grabbing the jar, she took a big pinch and dropped it in the tank.
Going behind her, I grabbed the scooper like always and picked most of them out.
Her ass didn’t listen, yet she thought I was the one that thought they knew everything.
“Jam, can you go and get mommy a paper towel?”
“I’m not your maid. Why do I have to go and get it?” Shaq was laughing, but I always tried to keep a straight face, so I didn’t encourage her smart ass mouth.
“Well, you said you would be mommy’s helper. I just needed you to help me. That’s all.”
“I said helper. Not slave.”
“Mila!” I said sternly.
“Fine. I’ll go and get it your majesty.” When she walked off me and Shaq fell out laughing.
“She be dragging you all by your edges. That lil girl mouth is something else. What you gone do with her?”
“All I can say is pray for me.” Mila walked back in handing me the paper towel with all the attitude she could muster up. Shaq laughed at me before grabbing her things.
“Let me get out of here before my Ike senses start kicking in. I swear sometimes you would think we were raised by two different mamas.”
“Girl, fuck that lady.” I did my best to respect my mama especially how she acted towards us growing up.
She was the type of woman that only cared about her man.
She left us in the house for days to lay up with her nigga, and when she would come home, she would have an attitude because she had to be there.
It was no encouragement or love in our house.
In her words, we were just the lil bitches standing in the way of her money.
Even though she treated us the way that she did, when I had Mila, I tried to let them have a relationship.
You would think age and time would allow you to reflect on your mistakes.
It was cool at first until we found out that Mila had deficits.
Once she was diagnosed, my mother told me she couldn’t be seen with a slow grandkid.
It took everything in me not to beat her ass, but I made sure that was the last time she ever saw my child.
Crazy part is, she didn’t even attempt to.
“Yall two ain’t gone ever get along.” I rolled my eyes and walked over to the door opening it.
“You don’t see nothing wrong with your mother because you’re just like her. The only difference is you love your niece. I’ll see you Friday when I drop Mila off.”
“Byeeeee! I’ve been put out of better places,” she said as she walked out the door.
“Yeah, but it wasn’t by me.” Slamming the door, I laughed as I walked in the kitchen to get dinner started.
I had no idea what I wanted to eat, but Mila pretty much ate the same thing every day.
Grabbing some fries and nuggets out of the fridge, I cut the grease on to start on hers.
Going to the front, I grabbed my pills and threw one in my mouth.
Shaking my head, I tried my best to forget my shameful day.