Chapter 19 Luca
LUCA
Standing beside Isla as I unlock my door is torture. I can smell her shampoo, fresh and floral. It would take nothing at all to reach out and grasp her hip in my hand. My head is not that far away, I could lean down and kiss the patch of skin bared at the top of her shirt.
I don’t do any of those things. No matter how desperately I want to.
Instead, I gesture for her to go first into my dimly lit room. She walks in and immediately goes to the window.
“You have a good view.”
I move to stand next to her, but my gaze isn’t on the city skyline outside. It’s on her. “I really do.”
She turns her head and looks up at me. The silence stretches between us. Tense, and full of anticipation. But is it good anticipation or bad? I won’t really know until I fucking talk to her.
“I’m sorry you found out about me this way.”
She raises her eyebrows, and I wince. Maybe that wasn’t the right opening line.
“I don’t tell a lot of people about my leg.
Not because I’m embarrassed by it or anything, just that, in my experience, it tends to take over.
My disability becomes what people remember when they think of me.
Instead of who I am as a person, or my achievements, or my role in whatever situation I’m in.
I become the guy with the missing leg. That’s all.
Like my entire life can be summed up by what I don’t have, instead of who I am. ”
Her hand reaches out tentatively, and lands on my upper arm. I take that as a good sign, and cover it with my own, squeezing gently.
“I’m not ashamed of my condition at all.
And it’s not that I thought for one second that you would be that way.
Especially not after meeting Charlie. It’s just become second nature to me not to share that part of my story.
If it comes up somehow, or someone finds out, I try to downplay it and just move on.
That’s why there’s nothing online about me having ABS, or my involvement designing GaitSync.
The sale was private because I didn’t want to draw any attention away from the good the product could do.
But I know that wasn’t fair to you. I’ve wanted to tell you for a while now, I just could never find the right way, or the right time.
And then when things…changed between us…
” I trail off, suddenly feeling warm and exposed.
I meant it when I said I trust Isla not to think of me any differently because of my leg. But the old wounds that still fester beneath the surface from people in my past who have judged me before are hard to ignore.
“Let’s just say, I haven’t always received the best reactions from women when they discover my difference.”
Isla sighs. “Let’s sit down.”
Together, we move to the small couch pressed against a wall. I sit in one corner, giving her space to sit wherever she wants. When she chooses to sit close to me, I mentally breathe a sigh of relief.
Toying with her hands in her lap, Isla says, “Things were already complicated between us, Luca. I understand not wanting to let me in any further. Letting me know something that not many other people know would be a level of connection that could turn against you. I get it. But I would never think of you as any different, or any less wonderful just because of a limb difference.”
“I know you wouldn’t,” I say quickly, covering her hand in mine. “I know. I should have opened up to you a lot sooner.”
She turns her hand over, lacing our fingers together, a smile playing at her lips as she looks down at our connection.
“You know, it’s hard for me to let people in as well.
Hard to trust that they won’t hurt me or leave me.
” She lifts her gaze to meet mine. “Charlie’s bio dad is the only guy I’ve been with, and the second he found out I was pregnant at seventeen, he bailed.
A baby wasn’t a part of his plan to become a professional football player. ”
She lets out a pained laugh. “And of course, it didn’t matter that it takes two people to make a baby, he was the high school quarterback and I was the slut who got pregnant.”
My blood boils hearing her call herself that.
“Isla,” I start to say, but she squeezes my hand and nods.
“I know. It’s not who I am. I’m Charlie’s mom and I don’t regret it.
” She lifts a hand and cups my cheek. “I just want you to know why I can understand being nervous to let someone in. To show your vulnerable parts to someone else. But” —she pauses, and I watch her take a deep breath in— “I want to be vulnerable with you. Hearing your speech, seeing this side of you, it makes me want to know more. I can’t deny my attraction to you, Luca.
Even if it’s complicated. Even if it’s scary. ”
I stare at her, my heart thudding in my chest. I can tell she’s only given me part of her story. A rough sketch of how difficult it must have been for her. But the fact that she’s letting me in, sharing so much of herself? It floors me.
“How can you be so amazing?” I’m not sure I meant to say that out loud, but when Isla blushes, and ducks her head down, I can’t hold back from grasping her chin and tipping it back up so she’s looking at me.
“I mean it. Thank you for trusting me with your story. I know now how hard it must be to let me in. I take that honour very seriously, Isla.”
Moving slowly, I lean in and kiss her forehead lightly. When I draw back, I see her mouth slightly parted, her eyes wide, the green of her irises almost swallowed by the black of her pupils.
“I don’t want to push you into anything you’re not ready for.
But I have to be honest with you. Being with you might be complicated, but not being with you is even worse.
Now that I know what your lips feel like against mine, I’m finding it almost impossible to ignore the craving to feel you again. ”
“Luca.” My name is a breathy plea falling from her lips, and it’s the spark that reignites the embers that have been smouldering ever since I first kissed her at the gala.
She moves first, kissing me tentatively at first, then deeper, and everything in my world rights itself in an instant.
Then, in one shocking move, Isla stands, pivots, and resettles herself straddling my lap, her pelvis pressed into mine.
Her arms are around my neck, her fingers teasing my hair as we take the kiss deeper.
She’s the first rain after a drought. The first rays of sunshine bringing light to the day.
She’s everything I’ve ever wanted and everything I never let myself dream of.
I tug her lip in between my teeth and she whimpers as I feel her body sag into mine even farther. Tightening my grip on her, I force myself to pull my mouth back.
“Isla. Are you sure about this?”
Her eyes are glazed with desire, and I watch her slowly blink as she registers my question.
“Are you?” She throws the question back at me.
“I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life. I want this. I want you. There’s no question of that. But the reasons we put the brakes on are still there. I need to know you won’t regret this later, because I don’t think I could survive it if I hurt you.”
My voice is gravely with unspoken emotion. How has this woman come to mean so much to me in such a short amount of time?
She rakes her fingers through my hair again, a small smile cresting her lips.
“I want this, want you, as well. And I trust you not to hurt me, Luca.” Her tongue darts out to swipe her lower lip.
“I’m nervous. I don’t know how us being together will work, but I don’t think I can resist you for much longer. ”
Oh fuck.
I stand up, needing to move to somewhere more comfortable. Somewhere it’ll be easier to explore and feel each other. Isla’s legs wrap around my waist, but not for long as I take a few steps to the bed and lower her down onto the soft surface.
“Take off your clothes, wonder woman.” I nip her lip again, then step back and slowly start unbuttoning my shirt, staring at her. She’s frozen, her lips slightly parted again as she greedily watches me. I stop halfway and tilt my head to the side. “I know you heard me,” I say in a low voice.
“Oh fuck, that shouldn’t be so hot,” she breathes, her hands trembling as they go to the hem of her shirt and lift it over her head.
I chuckle and quickly finish opening my shirt. But when I go to push it off, Isla pops up on her knees and places her hands on mine.
“Let me?”
I nod and let her take over, and she slowly pushes my shirt off my shoulders and down my arms, her gaze trailing over the naked planes of my chest.
“Damn, guys have changed since I was a teenager.”
My shirt falls to the floor, and I cup her cheek in my hand. “It’s been a while for me, too. But you’re in charge here. Completely, okay? Whatever you need or want, you tell me. Can you do that for me?”
She nods.
“Good girl.”
I lean in and kiss her, letting my hands roam over her soft skin for a moment. God, she’s all warm, soft curves, and she’s here with me.
Her hands find my belt, and I smile into our kiss as she fumbles to get it open. We don’t break our kiss, but I reach for the waist of her pants and quickly undo them. This time, it’s Isla who pulls back, panting.
“Oh my God, I need you naked, like, now.”
“The feeling is mutual,” I grunt as I push down my pants.
A part of me tenses, waiting for her reaction to seeing my prosthetic leg.
But Isla doesn’t even glance at it. Instead, she shimmies out of her pants and throws them to the floor before throwing her arms around my neck again.
We kiss, messy and lust-fueled and desperate now.
Like trying to stay away from each other has created a powder keg of need that’s finally been ignited.
“Do I need to be aware of anything? Do you want to take your leg off or leave it on? I don’t care either way, but I want you to be comfortable.” Her little ramble is adorable and has me grinning at the combination of thoughtfulness and excitement in her voice.
“I’ll take it off, if that’s okay with you. But the only thing I want you to be thinking of is my plan to make you come as many times as I fucking can.”
Her small moan brings me no shortage of satisfaction as I move to the side of the bed and sit down before quickly removing my prosthetic, keeping the liner on underneath for now.
I’ve definitely found that with my missing limb, certain positions are easier and more enjoyable than others. Lucky for her, the easiest is also the best for her. And it lets me do something I’ve wanted to do for a long fucking time.
Once my prosthesis is off, I swing my legs up and get settled. Isla’s looking at me through hooded eyes.
“C’mere. It’ll be easiest if I’m on my back,” I say gruffly.
She moves onto her hands and knees and crawls to me, her hips swaying in a hypnotic way. She doesn’t even pause to look at my residual limb, and for that, I’m grateful. She comes to a stop next to me and places one hand on my stomach, just above the waistband of my underwear.
“Closer.”
Her eyebrows raise and she doesn’t move right away. Instead, her lips quirk up in a smirk. “Are you bossy in bed, Luca?”
In response, I surge upward and grab her hips, lifting her up to straddle me. With a startled cry, her hands find the headboard as I settle her high on my chest. My hands move around to grasp her ass, the flesh filling my palms perfectly.
“If I need to be. Now, I said closer.” I push her lace-covered hips forward. “Let me taste you.”