Chapter Twenty-Two
IAN
I’ve been playing hockey for most of my life, but the high I feel after winning that game today is more potent than any I’ve ever experienced. Playing with my old friends, seeing the way they embraced me as if nothing’s changed, as if I’m the same person they’ve always known—it’s enough to make me start to think that maybe I am. That maybe I can stop dwelling on the opinions of strangers and cling harder to the ones that come from people who actually matter.
An idea that is a lot easier to entertain with the encouragement of the woman currently pulling me into her apartment.
“You were fantastic,” she’s saying between kisses as I kick her door shut.
I grin against her mouth, my hands circling her waist to pull her closer. “Yeah?”
“It’s hot watching you play.”
“Does someone have dreams of being a puck bunny?”
“Just yours,” she hums.
I groan, slanting my mouth against hers and muttering “fuck” against her tongue. I hoist her up into my arms and carry her through the apartment, never slowing until she’s flat on her back against her mattress. She’s an absolute vision of soft swells, gentle curves, and long, silky waves spread out around her head, and the way she bites her lip when she looks up at me, looking so excited just to have me, sends a thrill coursing through my body.
“Fuck, Lila,” I murmur, “I can never decide where I want to touch you first. You’re too tempting.”
Her lips curl. “Get down here and decide as you go.”
I pull my shirt over my head as I obey, tossing it aside and making quick work of my jeans before crawling over her.
“You’re too dressed,” I note, sliding my hand under her shirt to caress her belly. “Let’s fix that.”
I realized quickly after the first time that I ever touched her like this that I would never be able to take my time getting her out of her clothes. Once I get even a hint of what’s underneath them, it’s like my mind goes into overdrive, needing to see more. Every part of her drives me wild—from her full, pink mouth to her wide, soft hips down to her cute, stubby toes. Sometimes when I look at her, it feels like Lila Baker was made just for me.
“Look at you.” I slide my body against hers, grabbing a handful of one of her perfect tits and sliding my tongue across the column of her throat. “You’re a fucking dream, Lila.”
“You’re still too dressed,” she says breathily, her fingers tucking inside the elastic of my briefs. “Take these off.”
“Why? Are you greedy, sweet girl?” I roll my hips, letting my clothed, hard length press against the juncture between her thighs. “You want this cock?”
“Preferably before I’m an old woman,” she grumbles, her petulant tone less effective when laced with the thick arousal it carries.
“Mm.” I peck a kiss at her cheek, lifting away from her. “Be right back.”
I roll across her bed and wrench open her bedside drawer, reaching inside to fish out a condom. My fingers trip against the box as I curse under my breath, and I drag myself a little closer to get a better angle to reach for it.
“Um…”
I turn my head, catching sight of Lila biting at her lower lip and looking nervous.
“What is it?”
“I was thinking…” Her cheeks are tinged with a soft pink, her thighs pressing together restlessly. “Do we really need one?”
My cock throbs in my underwear, practically trying to jump out on its own to get to her. I swallow around a growing lump in my throat, my pulse pounding in my ears at the notion of feeling her bare around me.
“Are you sure?”
“I’m on birth control,” she tells me, “and I’m negative, so…”
“So am I,” I say immediately. She laughs at that, and I realize what I’ve said, adding, “Negative, I mean. Not on birth control.”
“Right,” she chuckles. “So, do you want to maybe…?”
“Yes,” I blurt. “Absolutely yes.”
“You’re sure?”
I reach for her hand, bringing it over to palm my hard cock, which is straining against my boxer briefs. “Just thinking about fucking you raw has me wanting to come, Lila.”
“Fuck,” she whimpers, squeezing me.
I’m moving to draw my hand back out of the drawer with every intention of doing just that, my fingers brushing against soft silicone that gives me pause. I peer over into her drawer, biting my lip as I notice what’s waiting there.
“Hm.” I wrap my fingers around the toy, pulling it out of the drawer. “Found a friend.”
Her eyes round as she laughs. “Old faithful.”
“Really?”
“Never let me down yet.”
I run my finger over the small opening at the head, pushing it inside and feeling the soft pad at the bottom. “And what does this do, Lila?”
“You know what it does,” she says with narrowed eyes.
“Oh, I do,” I answer, closing the drawer and bringing the toy with me as I crawl back to her. “But I want you to tell me, anyway.”
“It—oh.”
She gasps when I wrap my lips around her nipple, sucking it deep into my mouth and swirling my tongue before releasing it with a wet sound. “It…?”
“Sucks on my clit,” she says breathlessly.
“Hm.” I trail my lips over her belly, ducking my head between her legs and licking at her slit before doing exactly that, pulling at the sensitive bud with my lips for only a moment before letting go. “Like that?”
“Fuck, yes.”
“I think you should use it,” I tell her. “While I fuck you.”
Her throat bobs with a swallow as she leans up on her elbows. “Yeah?”
“Mhm.” I inch back up her body, brushing my lips against her mouth and licking at the seam there until she opens, tangling my tongue with hers so she can taste herself. “I want you to gush for me.”
“Ian,” she practically whines.
“On your stomach, sweet girl.” I nip at her lower lip, placing the toy in her hand. “I want that pretty ass in the air.”
She rolls over like she’s eager for it, causing a giddy thrill to shoot through me as I kiss her shoulder, her spine—every bit I can reach while she situates herself on her stomach and props up on her knees with her chest against the bed so her perfectly round ass wiggles tantalizingly in the air. I palm it roughly as I sit up, bracing myself on my knees and squeezing the soft flesh there as she moans quietly.
“Jesus, you’re already so wet for me,” I purr, sliding two fingers between her legs to tease her slick folds. I ease them inside her gently, feeling a pulse of pre-come wet the front of my briefs as her walls ripple around the digits, imagining what it will feel like when I push inside her without anything between us. “You want my cock here?”
“Yes,” she sighs, pushing back on my fingers. “More.”
She turns her face against the bed, watching me with hooded eyes as I pull my fingers from her, bringing them to my mouth to suck them clean. “So fucking sweet.”
She keeps watching me as I finally start working my underwear down my thighs, slipping out of them and tossing them away until there’s nothing between us but the cool air and our skin. I actually shake when I tilt my hips to let my hard cock rock against the furrow of her ass, squeezing her to envelop me tighter as I imagine taking her there too. God, I want to own every part of her. Want to mark every inch until there’s no doubt that she’s mine. I’ve never felt the level of possession I feel for Lila, not for anyone else.
I grip my cock at the base and press it against her entrance, not yet pushing inside but instead rubbing the head up and down, slicking myself in the leaking mess of her.
“Fuck,” I hiss, teasing her by barely dipping in before pulling right back out. “There’s no way I’m going to last long when I get inside you. You’re too fucking wet, too hot.”
“Stop teasing and fuck me,” she grits out, her fingers clutching the comforter.
I give her ass a sharp smack, shuddering at the low moan that tears out of her. “Settle, brat.” I nudge at her entrance again. “Turn the toy on and use it. I want you messy.”
Her hand that still grasps the toy slides down the bed to reach beneath her, and suddenly I hear a low thrumming of sound from under her body, feel her tense, and hear her gasp as she presumably situates it at her clit.
“There you go,” I coo, rocking against her swollen pussy. “This pretty cunt is practically dripping for me.” I push ever so slightly, watching her body give around the head of my cock as just the tip presses inside her. “I could slide right in.”
“Do it,” she moans. “Please, Ian. Need you.”
And I do, finally—slipping deeper inside her, feeding her inch after inch of my throbbing cock as her walls clench around me, sucking me in.
“Fuck,” I groan in a drawn-out exhale. My hips meet her ass, her body accepting all of me, and the feeling of being surrounded in the tight, wet heat of her without any barriers is almost too much. “You feel so good, Lila.”
“Move,” she urges, her pussy fluttering around my length as the toy hums between her legs. “Fuck me.”
I grip her tightly by the waist as I draw out, watching every inch of my glistening shaft slide out reluctantly, her body gripping me like it doesn’t want to let me go. I let the head of my cock linger at her entrance for only a moment when I’m all the way out, sucking down an unsteady breath before slamming back inside with a grunt.
“Yes,” she gasps. “Fuck, yes.”
I can hear how wet she is, each thrust offering up a filthy sound as her arousal coats my thighs. Her pussy clenches rhythmically as if trying to take me deeper, her hips pressing back against me as the sounds of slick skin meeting again and again fill the air.
“Fuck, sweetheart,” I moan. “You hear that? How fucking soaked you are for me? Does it feel good?”
“Yes,” she mewls. “Right there. God, you’re right where I need you.”
I thrust deliberately, feeling her tremble. “Here?”
“Oh God.”
“My name,” I remind her. “Just mine.”
“Ian,” she cries. “I’m so close.”
“I told you,” I manage through clenched teeth, the sensation of her warm cunt squeezing me so perfectly making my balls draw up tight with impending release. “I want to feel you gush. Want you to soak my cock. I want”—I accentuate the words with a hard slap of my hips against her ass—“you fucking”—my head tips back as she pulses around me, her pussy so slippery that I’m on the edge of losing it—“messy.”
“Oh God. Oh fuck, Ian!”
I hear the soft thump of the toy that still thrums quietly against the comforter, and then her hands are reaching back to grapple for my hips as she quivers—low, drawn-out cries falling from her mouth as she comes apart. She does exactly what I wanted; Lila fucking gushes for me—soaking my cock, my thighs—her orgasm dripping down to pool at my knees, which I’m braced on as I pound into her, chasing my own release.
“That’s it,” I rasp. “That’s my sweet girl. I’m going to fill this pussy up. Gonna come so deep I’m there for days. I’m—I’m gonna—guh.”
My fingers grip her hips so tight they might actually leave a mark, and some primal part of my brain revels in the idea of that. It’s the only part of my brain that actually seems to remain online as I press as close to her as I can, my balls throbbing and my cock pulsing deep inside her to flood her with my come. I imagine it seeping out of her after this, imagine pushing it back inside to keep it there, and that, too, has that caveman-like corner of my brain humming in pleasure.
I can do little more than slump over her when it’s over, her back rising and falling with heavy, labored breaths that match mine as we both come down from what just happened. It’s an absolute mess between us, exactly like I wanted, and without actually thinking of what I’m doing, I swivel my hips to stir her up inside, shuddering at the feel of her.
“You’re trying to kill me,” she groans. “I’m dead.”
“We can get joint gravesites,” I huff, still trying to catch my breath.
She snorts beneath me. “That’s romantic.”
I ease out of her, wincing when I leave the tight grip of her body, sitting back on my calves as I watch my come slide down her thigh. I give into my urges and place my thumb just under the thin stream, pushing it back up until my thumb shoves it back inside. Lila shivers, and I hold my thumb there as I lean over, pressing kisses into her spine.
“You really are a mess,” I murmur.
“Who’s fault is that?”
I smile against her skin. “You won’t find any apologies here.”
“Yeah, well. You get to clean me up.”
My cock twitches, taking her words in an entirely different way from how she likely means them, and my smile turns impish as I skim my lips lower, palming her hips to hold her in place as I bring my mouth between her legs to nuzzle there, warming at the soft sounds that escape her when I slide my tongue through our combined orgasm, slipping it inside her before drawing it back out.
“Happy to.”
We’re both boneless and spent as we lie on her bed some indeterminate time later, her head on my shoulder as my fingers lace through the tangled strands of her hair to gently separate them. Her arm is slung over my chest, her thigh cradling my hip, and her cheek resting over my heart, and that overwhelming, wonderful sensation of being so settled is so strong that I feel overflowing with it, like I might burst at the seams. And yet, despite being so full, I’ve never felt more at peace than I do at this moment.
“My legs are Jell-O,” she mumbles against my chest. “Are you sleeping here?”
“Mm. Jack will wonder where I am.”
She nuzzles my pec. “We should just tell him.”
“We should?”
She lifts her head, propping up on her elbow and looking down at me. “Do you want to?”
“I want to tell fucking everyone,” I say without missing a beat.
Her answering smile is breathtaking, and that swelling feeling brims with something else—something warm and consuming and new that has my breath catching.
God, I love her.
The thought hits me all at once, but strangely, it doesn’t surprise me.
It was inevitable, I think, that she would mark me, that she would take everything, things I want her to take, things I want her to keep and hold on to. Everything I have. I never stood a chance against her.
Because Lila is like lightning on the sand—bright and powerful as it strikes, obliterating all the tiny grains of scattered pieces that feel so disjointed and unsettled and creating something new, leaving something more beautiful behind in its wake. That’s what Lila’s done to me. Taken all my pieces that didn’t fit and molded them into something beautiful. Something that’s hers entirely.
I manage a shaky inhale, the words there on my tongue but caught, worry about our history and our present and the short time that we’ve come back into each other’s lives holding me back. I open my mouth to say something—what, I’m not sure—but Lila speaks before I can get the words out.
“So do I,” she says warmly, tracing the freckles on my chest as her eyes follow the path of her finger. “I want to.”
There are so many times in my life that I’ve felt undeserving, felt like I had to be better, that I had to be more, but right now, with her…I feel like I can just be. Like everything I am is enough, because Lila deemed it so.
“Then let’s do it,” I tell her. “Let’s tell everyone.”
“Yeah?”
“Absolutely.” I place my hand over hers, squeezing it. “How should we do it?”
“Hmm.” She purses her lips, considering. “Dramatic gesture? I’m a big fan of the kiss cams.” I wrinkle my nose, and she laughs. “No?”
“I can’t think of anything that makes me want to crawl into a hole more than being caught on one of those things.”
“Fine, fine. We can do something simpler.” She cocks her head. “Statement to the media?”
“Those always go well,” I scoff.
She chuckles, leaning down and kissing the corner of my mouth. “It will this time.”
“You think so?”
“Mhm. Because this time, I’ll be right there beside you.”
“Going to put a fish in everyone’s locker that has something negative to say about it?”
“Absolutely I will,” she deadpans.
A laugh tumbles past my lips, and I wrap my arms around her, pulling her into my chest and squeezing her tight just to feel her against me. Wondering how on earth I got so lucky as to find myself falling for the most beautiful girl I’ve ever known—inside and out. I just have to work out how best to let her know.
“But that’ll be the easy part,” she says.
I draw back to look at her, arching a brow. “It will?”
“Yep.”
“What’s the hard part?”
Her smile is full of mischief, reaching to tap the end of my nose. “First, we have to tell Jack.”
I groan. That’s going to be a trip and a half.
I eye Lila settling back into my arms, a soft sigh leaving her mouth and her entire body relaxing like she’s exactly where she wants to be. Like I’m exactly where she wants to be.
I decide it’s worth it. All of it. No matter what happens.
Because I’m never letting her go.