Chapter 22
Chapter Twenty-Two
Zahkar
Since finding Rodion, I’ve never really given my own bloodline much thought. I was content with the life we’d built, and the family gifted to me when Andru adopted me. That changed when I stared down into Roza’s crib.
I saw myself staring back at me.
Unreal.
I never wanted kids, but an overwhelming sense of protectiveness and belonging filled my chest as she raised a hand toward me. She is mine, ours. And I will raise the oceans and bring down the skies on anyone who threatens to harm her.
Your parents couldn’t keep you safe…
But they didn’t have the resources I have, the ruthless training I’ve spent my whole life perfecting, or even a fraction of my net worth.
I did wonder when it first happened what could have gotten my family killed.
I’m not na?ve enough to believe it didn’t change me in a fundamental way.
Coming to Alyona’s aid last night and almost feeling my heart burst from my chest at the fear of what I’d find when walking through the door is telling enough, but that’s buried trauma. We all carry that.
It’s all been a little bit murky though. As if, until the moment I saw Roza, I’d pushed that time in my life to the dark recesses of my mind.
What I do remember is we had originally moved to Russia to flee from something terrible my brother had done.
He was always bringing trouble to the house.
But that was where my curiosity ended. I was too busy building an empire with Rodion to let the past take up space in my mind.
Now I want to know if there’s anything in my history that could endanger Roza.
I need to know. Every potential enemy or problem will need to be intensely scrutinized and dealt with. Immediately.
“You can talk to her, you know. She can understand some things,” Alyona says, coming from the kitchen with a snack for Roza.
I’m in awe as the little girl—our little girl—claps her hands and then gets to her feet. She toddles toward Alyona, wobbling and unsteady, and falls on her butt as soon as the snack is in her grip. So fucking cute.
I’m surprised how well Alyona looks today. The fluids and antibiotics worked like magic. There's color in her cheeks and life in her eyes. We spent the morning just being in each other's presence.
“You love your cookies, don’t you, Roza?” Alyona coos down at our daughter, swiping a cloth over her mouth to collect dribble.
I have no experience with babies, but I’m pretty sure ours is perfect.
I don’t understand why baby age is calculated in months.
Still, when I asked Alyona about Roza’s age, she proudly announced that she is fifteen months old and has met all her developmental milestones.
Whatever the fuck that means, I plan to find out.
I want to know everything a parent should. I’m going to be what she needs.
Everything she does is so second nature to her. Alyona is a far cry from the woman who left us so long ago. She’s a mom, and apparently, a good one. A pang of pride shoots through me, much to my irritation.
“Is Roza a nickname for anything?” I ask, my eyes watching the sweet girl finish her weird looking cookie that appears to melt as soon as it gets wet. It wasn’t lost on me when I saw her name written above her crib that it’s a combination of Rodion’s and my name.
“I wanted her to carry a piece of her daddies with her always,” Alyona replies, sipping a mug of coffee, eyes twinkling wistfully.
I suppress the sharp retort that rises on my tongue, aware that my frustration over her decision to keep Roza from us will only lead us in endless circles.
“I need you to make me a promise, Alyona,” I say firmly, making a conscious effort to stop staring at her bare legs and hard nipples poking through the thin fabric or her shirt that she put on when giving me mine back. Now I have her scent all over me and it’s intoxicating. Incredibly distracting.
“What?” She puts her mug down and faces me fully.
“You can never disappear again. Especially now that we have her.” There’s a fear building in my gut, low and unsettling. I can’t fucking lose them. I need to get them somewhere safe and take out the people here to spy before they report back to Yuri.
My mind races with all the things I must do.
“Alyona,” I growl, when she doesn’t answer me. I rise to my feet and close the distance between us. I take her chin between my forefinger and thumb, tilting her head up to meet mine. The turmoil in her eyes matches the intensity in my own. “Promise me.”
I need to trust her. I need her to convince me, or I might just find a remote island, fly us all there, and keep her as a fucking prisoner.
Rodion would love to do that.
After a few silent beats, that have me counting far too many Mississippis in my head, she bobs her head. “I promise.”
Do I believe her? Why the hesitation?
She takes my hand, removes it from her chin, and cradles my face. “I promise.” This time it’s fierce and steady. Again, she whispers, “I promise.”
This time I believe her. Her words wrap around me, calming the raging storm inside me.
“I’m sorry, Z.” She sniffles and before she can pull away, I grasp her face and bring her lips to mine. I steal what I need from her. Contact, warmth, proof she’s okay after finding her like we did. It’s fast and firm and I pull away a second later, leaving the room to get my head on straight.
With Rodion, I’ve never felt a shred of insecurity about who we are to each other.
We’re a cohesive unit, perfectly in sync, and we understand each other on a level no one else has matched.
But with Alyona, I feel fragile, like I’m walking a tight rope toward her that can snap at any second.
She still owns a part of me, and how I feel hasn’t wavered with time.
Everything within me aches to reclaim her as truly ours again, to bridge the distance that separates us.
But I’m still so fucking angry and paralyzed by the fear that she will run again.
I’m holding my breath, suspended in uncertainty, waiting to exhale.
I hate it and want to put my fist through a wall, or someone’s face. I need a release.
“Rodion’s back,” Alyona calls out when the front door opens.
Good, I’m famished, and Alyona only stocks baby crap. There wasn’t anything fit for adult consumption in her fridge, and when I called her out, she shrugged and said she orders in.
Rodion took her car to go get food and has been gone ages.
When I leave the kitchen, my feet stall. It’s not Rodion. It’s the big fucker that Adam brought here with him, just strutting in like he owns the place.
“Levi? How did you get in here?” Alyona squeals, picking up Roza and balancing her on her hip, wincing at the effort it takes.
“Adam has a key. He wants me to keep an eye on you. He doesn’t fucking trust you,” Levi replies, directing his words at Alyona before he notices me. His expression shifts into a frown. “Who the fuck are you?” He points a meaty finger in my direction, and I grin.
“Your worst nightmare, asshole.” I wanted to hit something, and his coming here uninvited is him volunteering to be that something. Then, to Alyona, I say, “Take Roza into her room and pack her a bag.”
She doesn’t ask questions and her bare feet slap against the tiles as she hurries by us.
“Adam isn’t going to like this,” Levi tells me, sounding almost pleased. “He knew she was shady as shit.”
“Knew she was shady as shit? Didn’t they just pull a body out of his trunk?” I retort, folding my arms.
“What the hell do you know about that?”
“I know it comes with hard time,” I taunt, taking deliberate steps toward him.
“You underestimate who you’re fucking with. Adam isn’t someone to be played.” He puffs his chest and his arm movements are animated.
I raise a finger and point it firmly at my chest. “Who I'm fucking with?” I lean my head forward slightly, my playful demeanor vanishing instantly, replaced by the cold, hard mask of violence I wear so well.
The air around us grows tense, heavy with unspoken threats. “Do you know who you're fucking with?”
He takes a second and I see when the lightbulb goes on.
“You’re one of them,” he says with a twist of his lips. “The madmen.” He raises his eyebrows and emphasizes “madmen” in a mocking voice before pulling a gun from a holster in his jacket and aiming toward me. “Where the fuck is the other one? Your brother.”
My smile broadens and I nod my head over his shoulder.
He flinches. It’s subtle, but I see it. Panic.
He instinctively turns to glance over his shoulder, and in two strides, I close the distance between us.
Seizing his wrist and bringing a palm down on his forearm, hard and quick, causing him to drop the gun.
It clanks to the floor and skids out of reach.
He recovers quickly, lowering his head to launch a headbutt at me.
But I’m expecting it. I've faced both brawlers and seasoned fighters before, and I can predict his moves with eerie accuracy.
I sidestep just in time, fluidly weaving around his body, throwing jabs that are quick and controlled, not enough to inflict serious damage, just enough to unsettle him and assert my dominance.
As he struggles to regain his footing, I seize the opportunity to send a powerful fist crashing toward his face.
When blood starts to trickle from his nose, I feel the familiar thrill pulse through me like an electric current, but we've had enough blood to clean up in this place and don't need more.
In a quick motion, I twist my body and leap onto his back, wrapping my arms tightly around his neck and head to secure my grip.
My legs lock around his thighs, my feet hooking firmly in place to keep me anchored.
He thrashes and kicks, desperate to shake me off as he gasps for air, but I hold on tightly, focused on maintaining the chokehold and ensuring that he goes the fuck to sleep.
Dropping to his knees, he wheezes and bats at my arms to no avail until he falls back onto me and goes limp.
“Don’t kill him,” Alyona screeches as she races out of Roza’s room alone. “No more bodies, Z.”
“He’s sleeping, not dead,” I grunt, pushing the fat fuck off of me.
“Look who I found!” Rodion announces as he enters through the front door jabbing a thumb over his shoulder. His gaze lands on Levi, and he raises an eyebrow. “What did I miss?”
Impeccable timing per usual.
“Fucking finally. I’ve been waiting forever,” I mutter, rising to my feet and brushing myself off as I snatch the food bag from my brother’s grip. “I’m starving.”
“Why is Levi dead?” Vika says, coming in from behind Rodion. That’s who he found. An asshole.
“He’s not dead.” Alyona rolls her eyes and then frowns. “Why are you here?”
Vika places a hand on her chest and waves toward the door, her eyelids fluttering rapidly. “Someone was following me, and I didn’t know what to do, so...”