Chapter 20
twenty
BLAIR
I’m not sure if it’s the rapidly dropping temperature, or if I’m just that nervous to sit next to Logan for an entire football game, but I’m practically shaking.
It’s probably the temperature. I definitely didn’t dress for the weather.
This is my first actual fall, and I’ve realized my California wardrobe is woefully inadequate for Minnesota evenings in November.
This cute sweater I’m wearing in Reed’s school colors? I might as well be wearing a tank top.
Scanning the stands, I watch as groups of people laugh together, none of them shivering like geriatric chihuahuas, because they’re all wearing thick hoodies or puffer jackets.
There are parents with signs, kids running up and down the metal bleachers, the thundering sounds of their stomping muffled by the cheery chatter of people enjoying one another’s company.
I haven’t felt this alone or out of place in a while.
I don’t know anyone at Reed’s school. He takes the bus in the morning, and he’s a good kid, so I haven’t had to have any meetings with teachers or administrators.
I don’t have the time to be involved in any parent organizations, and I don’t really feel like I’d belong even if I did.
If only Adrienne wasn’t busy tonight. It would have been fun to cheer on Reed and Eddie together.
“Blair, hey.”
The deep voice saying my name causes my heart to skip a beat before it takes off at a gallop, and I startle.
“Sorry.” The deep voice attached to Logan Byrne chuckles as he lowers himself onto the bleachers beside me. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”
“You didn’t. I was just lost in my head, I guess.”
He grins at me, and I allow myself a moment to take him in.
His gray eyes crinkle in the corners as he smiles, and his stubble is a little more pronounced than the last time I saw him.
He’s wearing jeans, sneakers, a black puffer jacket, and a beanie.
He looks good. And much warmer than I am because he’s lived here long enough to know that the temperature falls drastically as the sun starts to drop.
I can’t believe he actually came.
Logan scans the crowd surreptitiously, and I realize he’s making sure no one has recognized him.
“I think you’ll be safe,” I whisper, leaning toward him. He smells like vetiver and musk. “I doubt anyone would expect one of the Rogues to show up to a Southwest Junior High football game.”
He grins sheepishly. “You’re probably right. I just don’t want to take away from the kids. Luckily, we’re not nearly as easily recognized as some other pro sports. Though Minnesota is a hockey state, so you never know.”
The sentiment is a sweet one, and I can’t help feeling incredibly confused by the man sitting beside me.
Who in the hell is he? The sex god who was perfectly happy to fuck a stranger from a club and never exchange last names or numbers?
The angry hockey player who accused me of lying and purposefully throwing myself in his path back in LA?
Or is the real Logan this guy who shows up at a kid’s football game because he said he would?
And why do I hope he’s the latter? I shouldn’t hope for anything regarding Logan Byrne. He was an ass, and he’s a player on the team I work for. I can’t risk going the way of my predecessor, Becky, and getting fired for hanging out with a player.
But all those thoughts are interrupted when the sound system crackles to life and the school announcer introduces the two teams. I jump up from my seat when Reed runs out onto the field, cheering and calling his name.
To my surprise, Logan does the same. And when my brother scans the stands and finds us both cheering him on, his smile is so luminous that I almost decide it doesn’t matter who the real Logan is, if he can help put that kind of look on my brother’s face.
Reed waves, then taps Eddie on the shoulder. His new friend’s eyes go wide when he sees who’s sitting in the stands, and I can’t hold in my laughter.
“Does that ever get weird?” I ask Logan, my focus still on my little brother.
“Yeah. I mean, I grew up seeing people fawn over my dad, so I’m probably more used to it than a lot of people are, but yeah. It’s still weird.”
“Except when it helps you pick up women, right?” I say, only half teasing.
Since I’ve started working for the Rogues, I’ve heard plenty about the team and their exploits.
The fact that Logan has quite the reputation doesn’t surprise me, based on our interaction that night in LA, but it still stings some irrational part of me that hoped maybe I was special.
Which is why I have no business participating in one-night stands.
Logan has the good sense to look embarrassed. “I deserve that.”
We sit in silence for a few minutes while the teams get ready to play. The wind picks up, and I rub my hands together. I really need to buy myself and Reed coats. He’ll happily exist in hoodies for as long as possible, but we’ll need something warmer than that soon.
“Listen, I’m really sorry for how I treated you when you started with the Rogues.”
My heart rate kicks up, and I turn toward Logan. He’s watching me with a furrowed brow. “It’s fine.”
“It’s not. I was a huge dick, and you didn’t deserve that. Not that it excuses my behavior, but I have some trust issues, and you got caught up in them. I’m sorry.”
Wow. Okay.
Sagging a little, I sigh. “I’m sorry too.
I’m sorry for pretending I didn’t know you and for being a jerk.
I just… Reed depends on me. I’m all he has, and he’s all I have, and I really need this job, you know?
When I saw you in that weight room, you looked so angry, and I freaked out.
I was worried you were going to get me fired, and then where would we be?
I had a little bit left in savings, but not enough to get us through in a new city with no job. ”
Logan winces. “I promise, I have no intention of getting you fired. I wouldn’t do that.
You have to understand, women have tried to trick me into relationships before.
There have been women who won’t take no for an answer when I tell them I’m not interested.
Hell, there was one woman who claimed she was pregnant to hook me.
She wasn’t, but it scared the shit out of me because I’m the last person who should be a dad. ”
“That sounds horrible.” I can’t imagine someone trying to trick me into a relationship because of my money or fame. It honestly sounds awful, and I suppose it makes sense he has trust issues. Especially if he saw that kind of thing play out with his dad.
“I need you to know that I’m not that kind of person.
Hell, you’re my first and only one-night stand,” I tell him sheepishly.
It’s embarrassing to admit, when he’s clearly so much more experienced, but I need him to believe me when I say I’d never act like that.
“Despite the way I acted that night, I don’t go around hooking up with guys just because they’re hot and I have an itch to scratch. ”
“You think I’m hot?” Logan smirks.
My cheeks grow warm, but I roll my eyes. “Oh, please. You know you are. Quit fishing for compliments.”
That makes him laugh, but it’s quickly drowned out by cheers as Reed’s school wins the coin toss and they decide to receive. The other team executes their kickoff, then the game is in play.
“So what made you decide to go to the club that night?” Logan’s minty breath is warm on my face, and I have to hold back a shiver.
I debate giving some evasive answer, but fuck it.
Logan showed up for my thirteen-year-old brother’s football game.
He’s earned some honesty. “It was our last night in town. Reed was at a sleepover, and I realized I didn’t have anyone I could call to spend the evening with.
No one that was going to be sad I was leaving.
And I guess I wanted to do something out of character.
To feel close to someone for a few hours, you know? ”
Logan is quiet, and I hold my breath. I doubt he can relate. He has teammates that are his close friends. Hell, they act more like family than simple friends. He has women throwing themselves at him all the time. I doubt Logan Byrne understands what it’s like to be desperate for human connection.
“I get that. I’ve felt like that plenty of times.”
I look up at him in surprise. “Really?”
He nods. “Sure, I have my teammates, but most of them have paired off in the last year, and it has me feeling… Well, it has me feeling a lot of things. Some of them contradictory. But I understand feeling lonely. Better than you probably realize.”
The blond winger studies me intently, his head tilting to the side. “Can I ask you something?”
“Of course.”
“Why’d you leave in the middle of the night without a word?”
A sputtering laugh forces its way out of my lips, and I blink up at him. “I… That’s what you want to know? I’m sure you were planning to do the same if I hadn’t left first.”
“You’re not wrong.” His mouth twists like he knows that makes him an asshole. He scrubs at his stubble with his fingers. “But no woman has ever run away from me in the night like that.”
“Oh my god. I hurt your feelings. Or your ego. That’s why you want to know?”
The crowd cheers as Reed’s team gets a first down, and I clap along with them. I should be paying more attention to the game, but hell if I can focus on anything else when Logan’s looking at me the way he is.
“Maybe a little. But, seriously, did I do something wrong?”
How did I not notice before this that so much of Logan’s bravado could just as easily be insecurity?
It’s clearly been bothering him that I snuck out while he slept, and I don’t think it actually has anything to do with him being this sex god who never leaves a woman unsatisfied.
Perhaps it has much more to do with how being the one who chooses to leave protects him from feeling like a little boy whose mom left him ever again. And that breaks my heart.
Shivering, I wrap my arms around myself.
“No. You didn’t do anything wrong. I couldn’t sleep, because I was a huge ball of nerves knowing I was taking my brother away from the only home he’d ever known, and because I thought I could be this cool, chill woman who could have a casual hookup, and nothing about me is all that casual.
I was lying there freaking out, and I just… I felt like I couldn’t breathe.”
“You’re shivering.” Logan frowns, then unzips his coat and shimmies out of it. Before I can even process what’s happening, he’s wrapping the warm puffer around my shoulders and rubbing my arms with his hands. “Where’s your coat?”
“I… I don’t have one yet. We lived in California our whole lives. I’m completely unprepared for any of this.”
“It gets cold here quickly this time of year. You should get those as soon as possible.” As if to illustrate how chilly it has already gotten, Logan does a whole-body shiver.
“Now you’re cold. Here, you should take this back.” I try to pull the coat off my shoulders, but Logan’s big hands stop me.
“I’m used to the cold. Hockey player, remember?” He smiles boyishly at me, his hands going back to rubbing my arms to warm me up. “And I’m sorry you were going through all of that alone. I probably would have been freaking out, too, in your shoes. I’m sorry if I added to it.”
“You didn’t.” My cheeks grow hot. “It was a perfect distraction for a couple of hours.”
“Yeah. It was kind of perfect, wasn’t it?”
Fuck me. The look in his eyes is practically indecent. Most of me may be cold, but my lower belly is currently plenty warm. I’m caught in his stare, my breathing picking up speed as he leans forward half an inch. And when I lick my suddenly very dry lips, Logan tracks the movement.
“Logan, I—”
A cheer goes up in the crowd, and I jolt back, my heart thundering. He looks as startled as I feel, but I don’t have much time to dwell on that, because the quarterback just snapped a pass to my little brother, who’s barreling down the field and coming up on the end zone fast.
“Holy shit,” Logan murmurs. “He’s going to do it.”
And he does. The second Reed’s toe crosses the line into the end zone, Logan and I are on our feet, screaming Reed’s name, bouncing up and down. We cheer even louder when my brother looks our way. He’s so excited. So proud of himself.
And I almost missed it because Logan Byrne was looking at me like he wanted to consume me.
I have got to get my head in the game. Logan may be sweeter than I thought, and he’s certainly nice to look at, but the man has made his stance on relationships perfectly clear.
I’d be a fool to allow myself to be distracted by a man who will never want the same things as me.