Chapter 24
twenty-four
BLAIR
When Mira picks me up from my apartment after work, Isla and Lexi are also piled into her bright yellow Camry. And when I open the passenger door, I’m met with a wall of music and excited cheers.
“Blair! It’s so good to see your face,” Mira practically shouts.
“Good to see you too. All of you.” It’s impossible to keep from smiling. They’re genuinely excited to see me, and I’m just as happy to see them.
I really have missed being a part of a group of female friends.
“Looking hot as always,” Lexi adds.
“I’m just wearing a hoodie and jeans,” I respond, laughing. The plan is to get coffee and go to Mira’s favorite local romance bookstore so we can pick out something to read all together. Our own little book club.
I can’t wait.
“It doesn’t matter what you wear,” Isla says, waving her hand to dismiss my statement. “You always look hot. Friends always tell you when you’re looking gorgeous. And you’re all looking gorgeous.”
“You too, my lovely sister-in-law,” Mira sing-songs.
Shaking my head, I chuckle as we pull out into traffic and make the short drive to the bookstore. I’ve been wanting to go ever since Mira told me the story of how Griffin took her one day and let her pick out as many books as she could carry. Then added a few extras for good measure.
Also, where can I get a man who will do that for me? Because, yes, please.
It’s a Love Story sits nestled inside a cute brick building.
The sign is pink, with this pretty, loopy script font, and the walls inside match.
It’s so much pink. But I love it. It’s cheerful and inviting, and every nook provides the perfect place to take a cute selfie.
Which several teenage girls are doing in the corner of the store.
The walls are covered corner-to-corner in shelves packed full of romance novels. There’s romantasy, paranormal, mafia, sports… hell, there’s even a section titled stalker romance.
I could spend all day in a place like this.
“I love this place,” Mira says, bouncing on the balls of her feet as her eyes scan the space. “I think it’s time I bribe Griffin into another shopping trip.”
“Like you’d have to bribe him,” Lexi says, rolling her eyes as she chuckles. “Pretty sure his romance collection is just as big as yours. And I know that man likes to act scenes out with you.”
A flare of longing lances through my chest, but I push it back. Good for Mira to have found someone like that. I’m happy for her. I just… I wish someone would take an interest in me and what I love that same way.
“Oh, he totally does. And he reads me spicy scenes when they’re on the road. It always gets us in the mood for video sex.”
These women are so open with each other and with me, and I’m still getting used to it after so many years without any strong friendships.
Not that this is uncommon for women—my friends and I had no filters in high school or college either—but I’ve gotten used to being a bit more reserved with Reed around.
“I wonder if I could get Ryder to do that with me,” Lexi muses. “He’s so sweet, but he’s also hot as hell in bed.” She studies the rows of shelves, an impish glint in her eyes. “Maybe something off the stalker shelf…”
We all giggle at that, and those giggles turn into full-blown laughter when Lexi pulls a book off the shelf, reads the blurb on the back, and nods with wide eyes.
“Yep. This should do.”
“So what kind of book do we want to read for our first Hockey Honeys Book Club?” Isla asks, her fingers skimming across rows of colorful spines.
“Is that really what we’re calling it?” Lexi asks.
“Have a better idea?”
Lexi tilts her head to the side, thinking. After a few beats, she shakes her head. “Nope. That works.”
I don’t bring up the fact that I’m not really a Hockey Honey. They’ve adopted me into their group, but I’m not a girlfriend or a wife. Even if I did say something, they’d probably just tell me not to be ridiculous.
“Good, then if that’s settled, what do we want to read?” Isla asks again. “Hockey romance?”
“Really?” Mira giggles. “Like we don’t get enough hockey romance?”
“I’ve never read any,” I admit. My three friends turn to me so slowly, it’s like something out of a horror movie, and I don’t know if I should laugh or be afraid. Their eyes are comically wide, and Mira’s mouth is actually hanging open.
“Are. You. Serious?” she asks.
“I used to be a big reader,” I admit. “But after I got custody of Reed, I didn’t have much time. Now that he’s a teenager, I’m starting to have a little more free time, but I’m lucky if I can finish a book a month. And until I started this job, hockey wasn’t on my radar.”
Isla nods. “That makes sense. We should try one for our first book. And who knows, maybe you’ll learn something about hockey?”
“And hockey players,” Mira teases.
I can’t help it. I scoff at that. “I’m not sure I’ll learn anything about hockey players from romance books. Men written by women are always so much better than actual, real-life men.”
“Usually,” Lexi agrees. She’s told me about how she and Ryder met, and if anyone is going to prefer fictional men to the real ones, it would be her.
Her dad is the former head coach of the Rogues, and he sounds like a total asshole and a real piece of work.
Add to that a long-term boyfriend who apparently used her as an in with the NHL and her dad, and Lexi has every reason to have distanced herself from men.
Noah’s betrayal is nothing compared to what she went through.
Well, if you can even call it a betrayal.
It felt like one at the time, but looking back, I can acknowledge that he wasn’t ready to step up for me, let alone Reed, and I don’t blame him.
Doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt, but I’m not angry at him anymore.
“But you have to admit, there are some damn good guys on the Rogues that could rival any romance hero.” Lexi’s expression is soft and wistful. “I found one. So did you two.”
“We did.” Isla grins as she pulls books from the shelf and reads their blurbs. “Bash and Logan are great guys too. Even if one of them has a certain reputation.”
She looks up at me when she says that, and I grab a book so I don’t have to meet her gaze. “I’ve heard nothing but good things about Sebastian. Though it seems to me like he’s hung up on someone.”
Mira barks out a laugh. “Right. She was totally talking about Bash. Though I do think you’re right about him being hung up on someone. But that’s not the point.”
“The point,” Lexi says, “is that Logan acts like he isn’t interested in love, but I think he’s just broken, like I was. Ryder doesn’t have as much of the story as I’m sure the other guys have, but from what I’ve heard, his parents and their shitty relationships really did a number on Logan.”
“He’s said a few things that would make me agree,” I say.
That gets my friends’ attention, and once again, the weight of three gazes bears down on me.
“He told you about them?” Isla asks, shocked and quiet.
“A little?” I shrug, my skin suddenly feeling tight. Why are they looking at me like I’ve grown a second head? “It’s not that big of a deal.”
“I think it is. In all the time I’ve been with Maddox, not only has Logan never opened up to me about his past, but I’ve never, ever heard of him telling any woman anything even remotely personal. Ever.”
“Come on, he can’t be that closed off with women.”
“He really is,” Mira says. “I know you’re new here and aren’t familiar with them or their dynamic, but Logan has a very specific reputation.
He keeps things purely physical, and he never does anything that could be misconstrued as an invitation to a real relationship.
And I’m not saying that to put you off him or freak you out or anything, just to say that he’s already broken those rules by showing up to Reed’s game. ”
My pulse races, and I clutch a random book to my chest to keep my hands from shaking. Because I sort of realized all of this. But hearing my friends say it with so much weight to their words? I don’t really know what to do with any of it.
“The fact that he opened up about his past at all to you is a big deal, Blair. I think… I think he has actual feelings for you.”
“Who knew he had it in him?” Lexi quips.
“I’m not sure even he knew,” Isla says, her smile soft. They really are like one big family, and I want that. Badly. “The question is, do you have feelings for him?”
I take a moment to answer, because do I?
I’ve been having this same conversation with myself ever since that day at the arena when I found Logan hanging out with my brother.
Then he showed up at the football game and he started texting me…
“I think I do? But my life is complicated. I don’t…
I’m not sure someone who’s never been interested in a relationship is going to be up for that, you know?
I’m basically a single parent, and Reed will always come first for me.
I don’t know many men who’d be cool with that. Especially commitment-phobic playboys.”
“But if he was cool with it?”
“I don’t know. I’m not even sure how to be in a relationship anymore.”
Mira chuckles. “Yeah, well, Logan’s never been in a relationship, so you could figure it out together.”
“We’re not trying to pressure you,” Lexi says, putting a hand on my arm comfortingly.
“But from one girl who was dead set against giving a hockey boy a chance to another, maybe see where it goes. Give him a chance to prove he can handle your life, and for you to see if you may even want him in it. What do you have to lose?”
My heart? That last little flame of hope that flickers in my chest that, someday, someone will see me and love me, baggage and all. But I suppose those are things we all stand to lose when we open ourselves up to the possibility of love.
“Maybe you’re right. I’m not totally convinced he’s actually interested in me, but I suppose it couldn’t hurt to give him a chance and see.” My attention returns to the shelf labeled sports. “I guess a hockey romance could be fun for our first book.”
“Hell yeah,” Mira hoots, doing a little dance in place. “I heard about this one with fake dating that sounds fun. And it’s spicy.”
She locates the book she was thinking of on the shelf, and as if it was meant to be, there are exactly four copies left. We each purchase one and pour out of the store in a stream of giggles and conversation that never flags.
“Should we go to my place now?” Mira asks. “I have ice cream and cookies. And I bet I could get Griffin to pick up some pizzas.”
Pizza and junk food sounds amazing, and I find I’m not ready to go home. I want to spend more time with these women who are quickly becoming a lifeline here in this new city. “I’m in. As long as I get home by ten. I don’t want Reed alone too long after his friend drops him off.”
“Of course,” Mira says. “One of us will drop you off before that. I’ll text Griffin about the pizza. What does everyone like?”
We rattle off our orders, pile back into Mira’s sunshine-yellow car, and I flip through my new book, my thoughts on hockey, Logan, and what it would be like to truly be one of these women. Not just as a friend, but as a wife or girlfriend.
It sounds like a dream. I’m just not sure it’s one that’s actually available to me.