Chapter 42
forty-two
LOGAN
The weekend flies by in a blur of games, and I haven’t been able to take Blair out on a date. I’m antsy as hell about it. I miss her. And I don’t just mean that I miss having sex, but I miss her. Talking, joking around, just spending time being quiet together.
I video call her whenever I can, but it’s not the same. And maybe it’s all in my head, but things between us feel…off. So I hate that I won’t get to spend any real time with her before our three-day Christmas break. And even then, I’ll only get to be with her on the twenty-sixth.
The reason for my absence on Christmas Eve and Christmas makes my phone buzz for the millionth time today.
Ryder
Do you think I have enough twinkle lights?
A photo of two large plastic storage tubs full of Christmas lights arrives moments later.
Maddox
Any more and you’ll blow a fuse, rookie.
Ryder
Not a rookie anymore.
Maddox
Meh.
Sebastian
I think you have plenty of lights.
Ryder
What if Lexi doesn’t think so and she says no when I propose?
Griffin
Dude. Take a breath. She’s gonna say yes.
Ryder
How do you know?
Griffin
Your girl isn’t sweet enough to put up with your insecure ass just to be polite. If she didn’t love you, she’d have broken up with you a long time ago.
I snort, because Griffin’s right. Lexi’s cool, but she’s not the type to endure a year of a relationship just because she’s worried about hurting someone’s feelings. But Ryder’s been spinning out about his upcoming proposal all week.
Ryder
You’re right. I know you’re right. But if she says no, I’ll probably die.
Me
Jesus, Handsome. She’s not going to say no, and you’re not going to die. If I ever get this dramatic about Blair, someone punch me in the head.
Maddox
You thinking about asking Blair to marry you? Damn, man. Did hell freeze over or something?
No. Fuck you. Just saying.
Sebastian
How are things with you two?
Good. Haven’t really been able to spend any time with her since the football game.
Sebastian
Speaking of the football game, I was serious about helping cover Reed’s camp fees. Think you could convince her?
LOL. No. She’s stubborn and hyper independent. If we’re going to pay for Reed, we’ll have to find a way to be sneaky about it.
Sebastian
Do you have a plan?
Maybe.
Maddox
Whatever it is, count us in.
Thanks, guys.
Griffin
I knew you’d turn into a sap when you fell in love.
Who says I’m in love? We haven’t been dating that long.
Griffin
You’re totes in love.
Maddox
Did you just type the word totes? WTF is wrong with you?
Griffin
Don’t be jelly, bro. One day, maybe you’ll be secure enough to type totes and still sound cool like me.
Maddox
You don’t sound cool.
Griffin
Fuck you, bro.
Maddox has been removed from the chat
Ryder
OMG, we’re not doing this again.
Maddox has joined the chat
Griffin
DUDE.
Ryder has been removed from the chat
Sebastian
Griffin, the whole point of this chat right now is to help Ryder plan his proposal. Quit removing people.
Ryder has joined the chat
Griffin
Psh. Fine. But let’s talk about what’s really important. The fact that our little Logie is in love. Bro’s gonna get married and have Blair popping out babies before you know it.
My stomach knots when I read Griffin’s text.
Yeah, I care about Blair. A lot. But marriage?
Babies? She doesn’t want that stuff, right?
She knows how I feel about all that from our conversations about my dad and mom.
Sure, I’ve had moments where the idea of marriage seems appealing, but that’s all they are. Moments. And then I come to my senses.
Me
You know I don’t believe in marriage. And babies are a hard fucking no.
Sebastian
Have you two talked about this stuff yet? Does Blair feel the same way?
I’m sure she does.
Griffin
Does she really? Because let me tell you, trying to make a relationship work when you’re on different pages about marriage is not easy.
My stomach flips. I’ve never lied about my feelings when it comes to marriage. Maybe Blair and I haven’t had an explicit conversation yet, but she has to know where I stand and be okay with it, right? If she wasn’t okay with it, she wouldn’t have agreed to date me. Right?
An uncomfortable pinch of doubt has me shifting in my seat. I don’t want to think about this shit right now. We’re talking about Handsome and his girl, not me and mine. At some point, I’ll sit down with Griffin and ask him for advice, but I didn’t ask him. Not today.
Me
Yeah, well, I’m not you. I didn’t drunkenly marry Blair. I don’t have to convince her to stay married to me.
Griffin
No, but if she’s looking for picket fences and diamond rings, you’re gonna have to convince her to stay dating you.
I’m not talking about this right now. Let’s focus on Handsome.
Ryder
IDK, man, I’m with them on this. Blair’s awesome, and it’s clear you care about her and Reed. So what’s holding you back?
Marriage isn’t for me, okay?
Sebastian
Just because your dad’s marriages haven’t worked doesn’t mean that all marriages fail.
Can we drop this now?
Maddox
We can, but it won’t make all of this go away. Someday, you’re going to have to have this talk with Blair.
Someday. But not today.
Griffin
Okay, bud. We’ll be here when you’re ready to talk.
Thanks.
Ryder
Everyone’s packed, right? You know what time to get there?
Maddox
Yeah, Handsome. We’re good to go. Un-bunch your panties.
Blowing out a slow breath, I let my eyes fall closed and tilt my head back against the couch. Blair has to know that I don’t want to get married. I mean, it’s a big enough concession that we’re dating. That has to be enough for her, right?
The groan that pours from my lips is long, low, and guttural. Like I’m trying to expel all the anxiety now swirling in a vortex of acid in my gut.
Picking up my phone, I tap on my contacts list, find Blair’s name, and press call.
The need to speak with her is like an itch beneath my skin.
“Hello?”
“Hey, angel,” I sigh, letting her voice wash over me.
“Hey, Viking. What are you up to?” There’s a rustling in the background, and I hear Reed’s muffled voice. Blair chuckles. “Reed says hi.”
“Hey, bud,” I reply, grinning. “I’m just packing for the trip to Ryder’s cabin. You sure you two don’t want to come?”
I asked Ryder if I could invite Blair and Reed, and of course he said yes.
But the Shermans already had plans with Bryson and his girlfriend.
I was disappointed but not surprised. It’s a big ask to have them spend Christmas in a cabin with a bunch of hockey players and their significant others.
I doubt Reed would have much fun. At Bryson’s, he’ll be able to hang out with his buddy Eddie.
“I’m sure. You’ll have more fun without us, anyway. Thank you for asking, though.”
That makes me frown. “I would definitely have more fun with you two there, but I know Reed will be glad to have kids his age to hang with.”
Blair laughs. It’s a breathy, sharp thing that makes my stomach twist.
“We’re still going to spend the twenty-sixth all together, right?” I ask.
“Of course.”
“Okay, good. I miss you.”
“Miss you too.” Blair sighs. “It’s hard not being able to see you.”
“I know. Hockey schedules are brutal. I’m sorry.” I never minded all the days on the road or the late games before. Never had a reason to, because I never had someone to miss. Now? Now I’d kill to spend fewer days on the road and work normal nine-to-five hours.
Well, that’s a lie. I’d fucking hate working a normal forty-hour week in an office or something. That life would never be for me.
But I would like more time with my girlfriend.
Add in the fact that she can’t leave Reed alone for too long, because he’s still a kid, and well, our schedules cockblock the hell out of us. We steal a few hours at each other’s places whenever we can, and if Reed is spending the night at Eddie’s, she sleeps over at my place, but it’s not enough.
As if just thinking the word cock is enough to wake the under-used bastard, I shift my position on the couch and adjust myself. “Can you sneak in some alone time? Like banish Reed to the living room and put a movie on loud, then lock your bedroom door?”
Blair’s throaty chuckle doesn’t help my dick calm down. “Probably. Why? I’m not having video sex with you while my brother’s in the other room.”
Damn, I’d love to see her spread out and naked. Next time. “Not video sex, baby. I’m talking about good old-fashioned phone sex.”
She chuckles again, phone rustling like she’s moving, then a muffled, “I’m going to go talk to Logan in my room, okay?”
I can’t hear Reed’s reply, but a moment later, there’s the faint sound of a door closing and the soft click of a lock.
“Okay,” my girl murmurs. “Talk dirty to me.”
She doesn’t have to tell me twice. Tugging down my joggers, I get comfortable on the couch and palm my dick. “Get on your bed, angel. I want your panties around your ankles and your pretty thighs spread wide in the next five seconds.”
“Bossy,” she teases, but a few moments later, she whispers, “any other demands, sir?”
Fuck. Me.
If my dick wasn’t rock hard before, it would be after that. Groaning, I tug on the piercings that line the underside of my shaft. “Yes. Keep calling me that.”
“Yes, sir,” she says in her brattiest tone.
I fucking love it.
“Is the air cold against your wet pussy, baby?” I squeeze my dick, imagining how she looks. Spread out on her bed, her pretty brown thighs open, pussy glistening with need for me.
“Yes.”
“Fuck, I wish I was there to warm you up. Would you want to ride my face or my dick?”
Her little gasp makes my dick jump in my hand.
“Both. First your face, then your dick.”
“That’s my greedy girl. I want you to get your fingers nice and slick, angel. Three of them. Dip them into your pussy, but don’t you dare fuck yourself yet. Just get them wet. Understand?”