Chapter 51
fifty-one
BLAIR
I’m dragged into consciousness by a loud, annoying knocking.
“Blair? Logan? You guys better be wearing clothes because I’m about to come in.”
There’s a moment of pure terror as I try to remember if we did, in fact, put on clothes last night before falling asleep. I’m checking underneath the blankets when Reed comes stumbling through Logan’s bedroom door. Luckily, we’re both clothed.
“Why are you still sleeping?” my little shit of a brother asks, a smirk on his annoying face. “Did you guys stay up late doing stuff?”
Logan groans behind me, his arms tightening around me. “You sure you want to know the answer to that, bro?”
Reed’s nose crinkles. “Nope. I really don’t. Forget I said that.”
My skin breaks out in goosebumps when Logan’s low chuckle vibrates through me. “What time is it?” I ask
“Time for you to get a watch.”
“You’re the worst. You know that, right?”
Reed rolls his eyes. “Whatever.” He shifts his attention to Logan, who’s hiding his morning wood against my ass at the moment. “You redecorated the guest room.”
It’s not a question, but I’m not sure where the statement is coming from. Logan redecorated the guest room? It was so dark last night, and I was so out of it, I didn’t even glance at the room when he carried Reed to bed.
Logan kisses my temple before pushing himself into a seated position. Steely eyes watch my brother intently. “I did. Do you like it?”
I can’t quite read my brother’s expression. Reed takes a few more steps into the room, his eyes on Logan. “My number’s on the wall.”
What? Now I’m really confused. Looking between the two of them, I hold in the questions I’m dying to ask, because whatever this is, it feels like interjecting would intrude on a moment I don’t understand.
Logan nods. His lips quirk up on one side, giving him a lopsided smile. “It is.”
“Is it…” Reed scuffs his toe against the carpet. “Is it for me?”
“Yeah, bud. It is.” Logan sucks in a deep breath. “Do you like it?”
Reed looks so young when his eyes go wide and his open mouth curves into a blinding smile. “I love it.”
“I’m missing something here,” I murmur, my attention pinging between them.
Logan runs a hand through his hair. It’s messier than normal—little sections sticking up at odd angles from sleeping on it—and he blows out a slow breath.
“I had this whole thing planned out, but then with the letter last night…” He turns to me, vulnerability like I’ve never seen etched into the tight lines bracketing his mouth.
“I want you to know that I’d be asking you this, even if the shit with the stalker wasn’t happening. It just… upped the timeline a bit.” Logan glances between me and Reed before his gray gaze settles on me and holds.
“Ask me what?” I whisper.
The bed shakes when his knee starts to bounce, and he blows out a breath.
“Move in with me. I want you with me all the time. Both of you. I hate your apartment. It’s not nice enough for you.
And it’s not safe. There’s no doorman, no security…
Knowing you two are only protected by one flimsy little door and a subpar deadbolt makes my skin crawl. ”
I gape at Logan. This was not how I thought my morning would go.
Never in a million years did I think Logan would ask me and Reed to move in with him.
He’s spent so many years as the consummate bachelor—doing whatever he wanted whenever he wanted to—I thought for sure he’d hold on to the last sphere of his independence for as long as he could.
“So I want you to move in with me. I hired this decorator Griffin recommended, and I think your rooms turned out really nice, but if you don’t like them, we can redo whatever you want.
I won’t be mad. I just want you to be comfortable and love them.
” Words tumble from his mouth in faster and faster succession, and I realize he’s nervous. Very nervous.
“Wait.” Resting a hand on his thigh, I try to calm him. “You decorated a room for Reed?”
“Not only Reed,” Logan says. “You too. I wasn’t sure if you’d be ready to share a room with me, even if you agreed to share an apartment, and I wasn’t going to assume.”
“I…” I don’t know what to say to that. “You did?”
Logan nods, watching me carefully. Reed is smiling so widely, it looks borderline painful. He’s practically bouncing on the balls of his toes.
“So, what do you think?” Logan asks carefully.
“You want us to move in with you.”
“Yes.”
“You’re sure? It would be a big change, you know?”
Logan’s lips twitch. “I know.”
“Reed leaves his stinky socks all over the house.”
“Hey,” Reed starts.
“Can’t be worse than my hockey gear, babe.”
My heart is a kick drum. “You want a thirteen-year-old in your space?” I have to be sure he understands what he’s offering here. Reed and I are a package deal. We’ll always be a package deal.
Logan’s eyes soften. Turning to my brother, he pats the bed beside us.
Reed climbs on, and I’m struck by a memory of him doing this in our parents’ bed when he was a chubby little six-year-old who hadn’t yet been carved into something leaner by loss.
When Reed settles, the mirage of the little boy he was gives way to the teenager he is now, and I struggle to swallow past the lump in my throat.
“I get if this is weird for you. And I promise I won’t be offended if you’re not ready or if you don’t want to share your sister with me. But I love you, kid. And if you’ll let me, I’d like to be there for you however you’ll let me.”
“I guess I wouldn’t mind sharing my Blair-Bear with you,” Reed says, drawing out the words like he has to think about it. But his smile gives him away. “And even though it’s totally cringe, and I’ll deny I ever said it if you bring it up with anyone else, I guess I love you too.”
That lump in my throat grows and my eyes water.
Is this real life?
Logan looks like someone just told him he won the lottery. “I’m totally telling everyone.”
“Bro. No.”
“I so am,” Logan says. And then he launches himself at my brother and tackles him in the most aggressive guy-hug I’ve ever seen. At least, I think it’s supposed to be a hug. It quickly devolves into a wrestling match I have to roll to escape.
“Guys.” I narrowly escape a flying elbow. “Children!”
They both stop and look at me with sheepish expressions. Reed shoves Logan, and Logan pushes him back.
I guess this is what I have to look forward to.
“I’m glad the two of you are agreed, but I didn’t give my answer yet.”
Reed snickers while Logan has the good sense to look apologetic. He rubs a hand along the back of his neck.
“Maybe it would help if I showed you your room?”
I do want to see the room, but I don’t need any inducements to make my decision. “That won’t be necessary.”
Logan stares at me as I draw the moment out, enjoying the way he squirms.
“Mean, Blair-Bear,” Reed whispers.
“It won’t be necessary, because even if you decorated it with camo, wooden ducks, and one of those stupid singing fish, I’d still say yes.”
Logan barks out a laugh. “That would be hideous.”
“Yep. But even that wouldn’t be enough to make me say no.”
“So that’s a yes? Yes, you’ll move in with me?” God, the naked hope shining in his eyes almost undoes me.
I glance at Reed, who nods. “Yeah, Viking. That’s a yes. We’ll move in with you.”
“Oh, thank god,” Logan mutters. He grabs my face with both hands and presses a hard kiss to my lips. “I don’t know what I would have done if you said no.”
“Cried, probably,” Reed says.
“Probably.” Logan grins, kissing me again. “Now, wanna see your room?”
“I really do. But after I pee. I swear I’m about to explode.”
Reed groans, complaining about how gross I am, but Logan just laughs. He tells me to take my time, that he’ll make some coffee, and to meet them in the kitchen.
“It’s stunning,” I whisper, spinning around in a circle in the middle of the room Logan had decorated for me.
It’s very LA. The walls are a neutral white, but there are large, geometric pops of color painted on each wall in an abstract mural that would make the most zealous selfie-taker squeal with excitement.
The furniture is a light rattan, and the bedding is plush and soft.
It’s perfect. I couldn’t have come up with anything better, myself.
“But what would you say if I never slept in it?” Reed wandered back to his own room shortly after giving mine a once-over, so I drag Logan to me by grabbing his shirt in my fist.
“I suppose that depends on why you never sleep in here,” he whispers, bending down so his lips hover over mine.
“What if I’d rather sleep with you?”
“In that case, I’d say thank fucking god, and we can turn this room into a library or something.”
Rising up to my toes, I close the distance between us and kiss him hungrily. I can’t believe I’m this deliriously happy after the stress and worry of yesterday. It’s crazy the difference twelve hours can make.
“I want you in my bed every night. And when I’m on the road, I want to know you’re wrapped up in sheets that smell like me. I just didn’t want you to feel pressured. But you have to know by now that I’m all in.”
“I do.” Reaching up, I stroke my fingers across Logan’s high cheekbones and over the stubble that lines his jaw. “And so am I. You’re stuck with us now.”
“Good.”
“Now, I want to see Reed’s room.”
“Come on.” Logan grabs my hand and tugs me down the hall to the room next to mine. The one I didn’t notice last night in the haze of my panic.
“Holy shit.”
“Language,” Reed sing-songs from the middle of a queen-size bed as he tosses a football in the air.
“This is…”
“Awesome, right?” Reed sits up, beaming at me.
“Definitely.” The room is a teenage boy’s dream.
It’s painted a rich navy blue. Football posters cover the wall above a good-sized desk, there’s a moderately sized TV on the wall across from the bed, a gaming system I never would have been able to afford, and a shelf loaded with games.
A large 22 decal adorns the wall—Reed’s number—and there’s a cozy armchair in the corner flanked by bookshelves waiting to be filled.
“Logan.” His name cracks as I say it. I’m completely overwhelmed.
Asking us to move in wasn’t just an impulsive decision he made because some crazy stalker scared the shit out of us. It wasn’t something he felt obligated to do.
This was planned. Carefully executed. Well-thought-out.
These aren’t actions of a man unsure about where we stand in his life. This isn’t a man merely flirting with the idea of commitment.
“I love you,” he murmurs, drawing me into his arms. “Both of you. You’re my family now, and I’m never letting you go.”
I try to hold back the strangled sob. I really do. But it escapes, along with a few fat, salty tears, and then it’s not just Logan’s arms around me, but Reed’s too.
“It’s okay, Blair-Bear. It’s all going to be okay now.”
And for the first time since our parents died, I really believe it.