Chapter Eleven
With utter confidence, I called to Danu. She had never failed to help me when I called upon her.
Thirty seconds passed. I looked at Tiernan. He lifted an eyebrow.
“Stop with the eyebrow thing!” I snapped.
He lifted both eyebrows.
“Sorry,” I muttered. “You've been doing it a lot lately.”
“I'm sorry my eyebrows disturb you, Seren.” It was dry, but there was a hint of a smile in his tone.
“Oh, sweet Goddess, did you just make a joke?”
“I've been known to do so on occasion.”
“Yes, before you were hit with an emotion-sucking vine.”
Tiernan considered this. “Ah, yes. I think I'm feeling more like myself.” He scowled. “Where is Danu?”
“I don't know.” I looked around as if she might be hiding in the stacks. “Danu? Danu, we need some guidance. Are you there?”
But all that answered me was silence and the rapid beat of my heart.
“Oh, fuck,” I whispered. Then I stood and shouted, “Danu! Danu, where are you?”
Nothing.
Tiernan stood more slowly and took my hand. “Something is not right.”
“No kidding.” I clutched at him. “She always comes, Tiernan. Always. She's not like her brother. She doesn't try to be mysterious. She's always here!”
“I know, my love. But her world is injured.”
“The blight couldn't affect her, could it?”
We both looked at Lady Mariya.
Mariya had gone ghost again, and her eyes, though barely there, widened. “I have never spoken with our Goddess. And I don't know if the land's wounds could affect her.”
“But you're the Head Archivist,” I said. “Could you look through the records and see if this has happened before?”
“Yes, Your Majesty. Of course I can. But the problem is that Danu stopped speaking to us for a very long time. It wasn't until you came to Fairy that she returned.”
“She didn't stop speaking to fairies,” I growled. “It's been years since I started telling all of you that she's always been here. It was her children who stopped listening. How do you not know that?”
Mariya floated up, out of her chair, and back. “I'm sorry, Your Majesty. I don't pay much attention to the present. I'm a woman of the past.”
I took a calming breath. “I'm sorry. I'm worried, and I've taken it out on you. Danu is always with us, Lady Mariya. She never stopped speaking to her children. It was the Fey who stopped hearing her.”
“I understand. You don't have to repeat it.”
“Ugh. Right. Again, I'm sorry.”
“No, it's fine, Queen Seren. I'll search the records. Perhaps in the morning, I'll have something to help.”
“Thank you.”
Lady Mariya bowed, picked up her book—the one about the Garden, not the maps, and left the library.
I looked at Tiernan.
“I know,” he said. “This is not good.”
“Should we tell Raza?”
“I don't think Raza wishes to speak with either of us right now, but maybe we should scry your father.”
“Yes.” I pulled out my scry phone and sat down. “Yes, you're right.”
“Seren, it's late in Twilight.” He touched my hand. “The middle of the night. Your father is probably asleep. Let's give him one more night of peace before we disturb him.”
I glanced at a grandfather clock standing beside the door. “Shit. You're right again.”
“We need to get some sleep ourselves.”
I bit at my lip.
Tiernan stood up and extended his hand. “Come, I have an idea.”
With his warm hand woven with mine, Tiernan led me through the castle toward Prince Shane's old wing.
It belonged to Duchess Sorcha and Marchioness Latharna now.
Still, the memories of the place haunted me.
I didn't like going into this part of the castle.
It was bad enough I had to sleep in Queen Iseabal's old bedroom. At least we'd gotten new furniture.
At this time of night, the wing was quiet, but as we went through the corridors of white marble and crystal, with their trenches of plants running along the walls, the sound of soft conversation came to us.
We followed it into a sitting room where I had once confronted Shane.
It would have made me cringe to enter that place, but it was different now.
Different enough for me to let go of the Prince's ghost.
The bright walls featured lush tapestries and large paintings, softening the space and making it feel more cozy.
Silk and velvet hung from the windows and covered the furniture in floral patterns.
Lace-edged cloths covered polished wooden tables, and little knick-knacks stood on glass shelves within tall golden cabinets.
A round table sat near a window where Shane's reading chair used to be.
The Duchess ruled here now, sitting at the table with a delicate teacup in her hand.
It was the Fey version of Grandma's house, and I instantly felt at ease.
Sorcha looked up from her plate of tiny pastries. “My children! Come in. Would you like some tea and a bit of a bedtime repast?”
“Actually, yes, I would.” I went to join her at the table. “I'm starving.”
“Yes, I heard you two were . . . indisposed when they brought you your dinner tray.”
I flushed.
Sorcha laughed brightly. “Needs must be met, Daughter. Now, come. Please.” She waved her hand at the tiered silver tray full of little snacks. “They always give me enough for a crowd. Tiernan, sit down.”
“Thank you, Mother.” Tiernan took the chair between Sorcha and me. “We've come to you with a delicate situation.”
I paused in reaching for a pastry, but Sorcha only nodded as she filled a cup with tea.
“Go on.” She handed me the cup.
“Thank you.” I widened my eyes at Tiernan.
“She knows about Astaroth, Seren.” Tiernan took the pot from his mother and poured his own cup of tea. “It's all right.”
“This is about the Demon King?” Sorcha asked.
“Seren has been sharing dreams with him lately.”
“Oh, my.” She sat back and looked at me. “He experiences the same dreams?”
“Yes.” I dumped a spoonful of sugar into my teacup and stirred. I do not put cream in my tea. Gross.
“Oh dear,” she whispered.
“What is it?” Tiernan put down the teapot.
“How long has this been going on?”
“Eight months,” I said. “And my defenses against him vanish when I'm in the dream. I've tried coating myself with Light before going to sleep, but that hasn't worked.”
“You've tried using Light against him?” Tiernan cocked his head at me.
“Yes. I had to be careful about it, of course. I just laid it over my skin after, well, I was with Raza when I tried it, so after he went to sleep, I covered myself in it. It didn't work. And Star has tried using a hakhil. That failed as well.”
“Fuck me,” Tiernan muttered. “You should have mentioned that, Seren.”
“What is a hakhil?” Sorcha asked.
“It's a Demon ward,” Tiernan explained. “Which leads me to our visit. I was going to ask you to lay your Silverlight over us tonight.”
“The Silverlight? I know it's protective, but I didn't know it could be made into a ward.” I glanced at the silver scar on Tiernan's temple—the result of that very magic.
No, it wasn't his mother who attacked him.
That would be the late Queen Iseabal. Tiernan's mother defended him against her queen with the Silverlight.
It could change anything harmful into a benign silver light.
But against the Queen's magic, it barely managed to save Tiernan's life.
The deadly attack seared the Silverlight into his skin, leaving a silver scar.
“It can.” Sorcha's expression went pensive, looking much like Tiernan had earlier. “But it doesn't work well as a personal ward. I'd have to lay a ward over you while you were abed and then release it in the morning. You wouldn't be able to leave the bed throughout the night.”
“That's fine, but after hearing about the hakhil, I don't think it will work.” Tiernan sighed and looked at me. “I was hoping to protect you, love.”
“Tiernan.” I took his hand. “I'm so sorry.”
“It's not your fault, Seren. The more you tell me about this, the more I see that. You tried to keep him away. Yes, you should have told us, but I understand why you didn't. You knew what it would do to us, and all for nothing, evidently.”
“I was going to tell you after he gave me that ultimatum. But it just happened. And then I came here to deal with the blight. It's just—”
“It's all right.”
“I feel as if I'm going to lose everything because of him.”
“You will never lose us. The others will forgive you. It will be all right.”
“The others?” Sorcha asked. “Your other husbands have turned their backs on you because of this?”
“I didn't have the chance to explain to them as I have with Tiernan. Raza wouldn't—” my voice broke.
“Oh, sweetheart.” Sorcha took my hand. “Heaven and Hell have been tormenting you. I respect our Goddess' brother, but he asked too much. One woman should not be responsible for uniting all the worlds. It's something that should be a god's duty.”
I took a shaky breath. “Thank you for saying that.
No one has said that to me. It hasn't even occurred to me to think it.
But you're right. It's too much for one person.
It took me a long time to accept Danu's Call and understand that it was the only way to bring the Fey together.
I could accept that. I'm willing to do whatever it takes to keep Fairy united.
But then Anu came to me and added more weight to my shoulders.
It's as if I've hit a replay button. It's the same story, just another world.
Another three worlds. I became the World-Strider.
Sounds cool. But walking the worlds is exhausting.
I'm so tired. It feels as if the harmony of the universe depends on my sex life.” Then I realized what I'd said and who I'd said it too.
Eyes wide, I added, “I'm sorry. That was inappropriate.”
But Sorcha only laughed. “I'm a fairy; talk of sex doesn't bother me.” She squeezed my hand. “I would be exhausted too—keeping five husbands satisfied. Makes it more of a job than a pleasure. And now even your dreams are not your own.”
“Yes, thank you!” I waved at her. “I never thought I'd get tired of having sex. I love them, and I do enjoy being with them. How could I not? But I want a break now and then. Some time to myself.” I looked at Tiernan. “I'm sorry, T. Today was lovely. The best we've been for a while.”
“Yes, it was. And I understand. It's one of the reasons we didn't want you to take Severriel as a husband.
You're already stretched thin, as the humans say.
We have time to ourselves, without you, but you're never alone.
I can't imagine how frustrating that can get. I know I need time to work and concentrate on other things.”
“Thank you,” I whispered. “I feel horrible saying it aloud.”
“Don't. As I said, we knew it was hard on you before Severriel came into our lives.
When Astaroth became an issue, we felt that we needed to draw a line in the sand.
Now, that sand is shifting. I don't know how to help you, and that crushes me.
I'm your husband. I should be able to protect you. But here I am, asking my mother to lay a ward over us.”
“Why don't you try calling your shadows, Tiernan?” Sorcha suggested.
“Shadows as a ward?”
“Why not? And I don't think you should discount the efficacy of a fey ward. They have tried magic stemming from Anu to protect themselves, but they are children of Anu. Maybe what Seren needs to protect her from the Demon King is a bit of fairy magic.”
“Like how my Light can drive back the blight,” I said in epiphany. “Yes, that makes sense! Tiernan, do you think your shadows could hide me from him?”
Tiernan blinked and then grinned. “I think maybe they could. And if not, we can try again with the Silverlight.” He turned back to Sorcha. “Thank you, Mother.”
“Sometimes all you need is another perspective.” She lifted her cup and motioned toward Tiernan's. “Now drink your tea. I think I deserve a visit after imparting such wisdom.”
Tiernan chuckled. “Yes, Mother.”