3. Gaius
Chapter 3
Gaius
“ W hat about the neighbors?!” she shrieked, voice somehow reaching me over the sharp wind as we flew toward the edge of the city. “That building is connected to human homes, Gaius! That part of the city is too dense, they will all burn! Are you listening ? We have to go back! People will be hurt!”
I glanced over my shoulder, finding her right on my tail, a look of concern and rage on her face as she stared me down. It was a very common expression for her, I’d come to realize, particularly when it came to me.
“It’ll be fine.”
“How will it be fine ? You just killed a man, stole everything of value from his office, and set his building on fire! With his body inside !”
I directed us toward the conclave, confident she would follow me if only to give me the lecture I likely deserved. She yelled several more questions, but I focused on flying. I landed at the very rear of the settlement, right where the trees began to thicken. I kept a hut I preferred away from most everyone else not far from the forge.
Lovette stalked right on my heels as I folded my wings tight against my back. Everything still felt wrong when I stopped flying. My whole body went stiff, like I’d aged a century because of the injuries I’d taken in my recent fight with a fae. In the air, however, I was as young as I wanted to be. Unscarred and free to move as I pleased.
“I need you to start explaining,” she demanded, hand propped on her hip as she paced the clearing, her eyes never leaving my face.
I hated that her anger made her more beautiful.
I hated that I found her beautiful at all.
“The fire won’t spread. There were measures taken on that business from the inside many years ago. Stone and concrete, mostly. The fire brigade will have tackled it already.”
“How can you be so certain?” She frowned.
“Because I tipped them off earlier today that they might want to keep a watchful eye on that block.” I raised an eyebrow and sighed, starting toward my favored hut. “Do you take me for a reckless fool?” I regretted glancing over my shoulder as I asked the question when I found those brilliant aquamarine orbs cutting me into a thousand pieces.
She tilted her head to the side, frustration pouring off her as she stepped lively to keep pace with me. For a stone kin, she was petite, and while I was not, my damaged leg did slow me down. “Is that a rhetorical question?”
It wasn’t. Not really.
Or rather, it was, but only because I was afraid of just how much of one she believed me to be. She was one of the few people who could directly challenge me and actually leave me wondering whether or not I was in the wrong.
She also made my chest ache. I didn’t like it. Any of it. Or her.
Mostly.
I shook my head to clear out the noisy thoughts as my hut came into view and said nothing more until we were both inside the small structure.
“Gaius!” she barked.
I regarded her blankly, but my insides were twisting. “Empty your pockets into there,” I ordered, indicating a wooden lockbox next to the bed.
She did as I asked, glaring holes through me the whole time. “Start. Talking!” She spoke in a voice barely above a whisper despite the fact that we were alone.
“The humans will be fine. Nobody will come after us. The fire will only spread through that place enough to make it look like Caster met the end he very much deserved. Never doubt, that, Lovette. He earned his fate.” I slammed the ledgers I’d pulled out of the bag down onto the small table. Never breaking eye contact, she put her hands into the pockets of her pants over and over, pouring the assorted jewelry into the box.
“What will you do with all this?”
My heart clenched as a burst of rage flowed through me. Did she really think I was the monster I’d pretended to be for so long? My anger flagged as quickly as it surged. She wouldn’t be alone, if she did, and I couldn’t blame her for seeing me as such, even if it had all started as a ruse. Many years had passed since I’d begun wearing that persona, and I’d been very good at playing that part. So good, the lines had blurred a concerning amount.
I’d become that man, stayed him, for far too long.
“Returning it to whomever it rightfully belongs to.”
She relaxed a fraction. “Is this what you’ve been doing? Playing hero? Trying to prove… what, exactly?”
My chest tightened, anger rising up again as she judged me. Bile coated my throat. “You wouldn’t understand.”
I could feel her own rage as it washed over me. Her arms crossed, and her glare only intensified. Shaking my head, I moved my stiff limbs into a position that would allow me to sit in the small straight-backed chair.
“I am sick of people telling me I wouldn’t understand.” Her nostrils flared, and she flicked a hand out, grabbing a fistful of jewelry. “I understand well-disguised thievery just fine. What I don’t understand is what you’re doing, as a stone kin general, risking your neck to go into a human city in order to do… what? A good deed? Atone for your own criminal acts?”
“I’m not a general,” I snapped, the edge of my words sharp. The glass dome around my lamp shook, rattling against the metal base. I forced gentleness into my tone. “Not anymore.”
Lovette flinched, the barest twitch of her long lashes. Regret washed in, followed by more frustration that she was throwing me into several emotions I had no desire to be feeling, especially with no ale to hand.
“Is that what this is about?” she asked, stepping closer to me, her floral and citrus scent too soft for my self-loathing. “Some kind of twisted revenge for being removed from your post?”
“No.”
When I offered no further explanation, she huffed and reached for a ledger. She flipped through the one atop the stack, stern face falling in stages as she took in the depth of Caster’s corruption. My gut shifted again, recalling how many times I’d witnessed a woman begging for more time, only to sacrifice a precious piece of lace or a family gem to the money lender’s greed. Men, already overworked and clearly exhausted and hungry, promising to pay double just to eke out a bit more time. And I’d just stood there. Watched. Been generally menacing as though Caster had any right to demand whatever he wanted.
I’d collected on collateral myself or assigned one of the others to do it for me. The same men I told in no uncertain terms they would never return to that job tonight. It was no wonder they were confused, I’d recruited, trained, and managed them, only to literally burn it all down. I’d been the muscle, cleaning up the mess when someone didn’t hold up their end of the deal. I’d done what I’d been assigned to do, because the council had placed me at that post, and I always did my job. Even when it made me into a man I didn’t recognize. One that was, in so many ways, just as awful as Caster.
Sometimes worse.
I growled again, the internal torture I’d put myself through for weeks finally breaching the bounds of my body. I rubbed at the place my arm had been reattached, a cold prickling pain shooting through the skin. It was never fully quiet in those areas; the unusual sword that had severed my limbs having left me with a lingering awareness of every nerve there. Sometimes it was worse than others though, and right now it was particularly irritating. I needed a drink.
Lovette stepped back. “What will happen now? What will these families do? Who will they turn to when they are so desperate to survive they have to seek the kind of help he offered?”
I chuffed. “There will no doubt be three men ready to fill the void by morning. Caster might have been the worst of them, the one with the majority of the business because he held most of the power, but there are always bad men ready to step up to be the next false savior for people in impossible circumstances.” I would know, better than anyone.
She frowned again. “That’s beyond depressing, but I’m sure you’re not wrong.” She reached out a hand. I looked up at her, surprised. “Let me see. You’re worrying at it again.” Her tone was so gentle, so soft, that it broke something inside me. All the anger leached away, replaced by a raw throb. It made the ache in my limbs seem imaginary by comparison.
“It’s fine,” I grumbled.
Lovette tutted her tongue as she grabbed my arm up and probed the healed joint with her warm fingertips. “There’s nothing wrong with it—nothing obvious, anyway,” she muttered, leaning her head down to inspect my arm closer. I got a face full of her golden hair, the clean floral scent filling my nose. I pinched my eyes closed, unsure how to compartmentalize how her proximity made me feel. She always smelled good enough to eat this close up, but never failed to give me indigestion. “But that cursed blade did something…” She shook her head. “Does it still ache like it did? Is that why you fuss over it so much?”
“It’s fine,” I groused, snatching my arm back. “I don't fuss.” Truth was, the only time I could forget about it completely was when she touched me. It wasn’t that it stopped tingling, that sensation was always there, but my concern about it vanished.
Everything in my head went quiet when Lovette Aurichal's skin was on mine. All the noise I constantly fought to get through the day simply disappeared. Sure, my chest felt like it was in a vice and my heart burned like a hot coal, but my head was quiet. It was addictive and wholly wrong. The last time I visited the infirmary and leaned into her body, when I was off-balance and bold enough to put my arms around her, I realized what was happening. It was a blessing I was as drunk as I had been when I figured out why I was seeking out the help of the little golden-haired healer. I was certainly not intentionally getting hurt, but I was absolutely going to her so I could have a moment of peace inside my own head.
I fueled myself for days on sour ale and the self-loathing that revelation provided. The two of us were not meant to be friends. So why did she have to be so kind? Why did she have to draw me to her like a moth to a flame, my heart squeezed hot and tight behind my ribs all the while?
“If you say so.” She narrowed her eyes at me, scowling back instead of being cowed like anyone else might have been. I appreciated that she didn’t bow to my harsh edges, though it would be far more useful than her stubbornness at times. “I should get back. I’m going to be exhausted tomorrow.”
Sharp anxiety crept in. “Are you going to tell anyone about this?” I gestured to the ledgers.
Lovette straightened herself, chin high and proud as she took the few steps across the floor to the door. “Why, is it a secret?”
I shrugged, trying to remain nonchalant about the whole situation. “I doubt anyone will care that criminal was dispatched. Even if it wasn’t officially sanctioned. Though others might have different plans than I do for such wealth.”
“Then I don’t see why anyone would need to know… right now.”
I stiffly got to my feet and met her at the door. “I’m sure we can agree there’s no reason for you to keep an eye on me in the meetinghouse anymore or follow me when I leave the conclave. I assume you’ve gotten your fill of adventure?”
She smirked. “Sure.” Her hand patted my shoulder gently, in a placating way, like I was a child. Me, a creature at least three times her age.
Then she was gone.
I stared after her for several long moments, wondering how I’d ended up here after all my thoughtful planning for how this night should go and what exactly I was supposed to do to move forward from here.