A Man of Loose Morals
MAX
The cafeteria smells like overcooked pasta and whatever mystery meat they're calling "chicken" today, but I don't care because I'm watching Del eat a sandwich over Luca's shoulder, and it's the cutest thing I've ever seen.
Luca's sitting on Del's lap, literally perched there like it's the most natural thing in the world, and Del's got both arms wrapped around him, holding his sandwich with one hand while the other rests on Luca's hip.
Every time Del takes a bite, Luca leans back a little, like he's making room, and Del just adjusts and keeps eating.
They're not even trying to be cute. It just happens. "That," I say, pointing at them with a french fry. "That's what I want."
Del grins around his sandwich. "What, a boyfriend who sits on you while you eat?"
"Yes. Exactly that." I shove the fry in my mouth. "The whole thing. The casual touching. The… the ease of it. You're not even thinking about it."
"We're very aware," Luca says, adjusting his glasses and looking extremely pleased with himself.
"This public display is quite excessive," Haru says, but he's smiling. "However, it is also charming in a sweet way."
Del kisses Luca's neck, a quick press of lips, and Luca makes this happy little sound that makes me sigh. I want that. God, I want that so bad.
"So," Luca says, turning to look at me properly. "Have the dates gotten any better?"
I groan and drop my head to the table. "No."
"That bad?"
"JP and I made more of a plan—" Del and Haru both start laughing.
"Of course you did," Del says. "JP makes plans for everything. Pretty sure he has a color-coded spreadsheet for optimal grocery shopping."
"He does," Luca confirms. "I've seen it. It's organized by aisle and nutritional value."
"The plan is good!" I say, lifting my head. "We made a list of places I could try to meet other men. Social events, clubs, that kind of thing."
"It worked for Luca," Del points out, squeezing Luca's hip. Luca turns and kisses him, soft and quick.
"I'm worried that this was an anomaly and that it can't be repeated no matter how much JP plots." Luca looks worried; I think it’s for me.
Del looks at him like he's everything. "You're not an anomaly. You're perfect."
"See?" I gesture at them wildly. "That. I want that. So I'm trying JP's plan."
Haru leans forward, interested. "What have you tried so far?"
Oh boy. Here we go. "Okay, so first there was the auction date, and you know how that turned out." I grab another fry from my plate and drown it in ketchup. "Then I tried talking to a guy in my Advanced Mechatronics class. He'd been nice to me last semester, so I thought, why not?"
"What's Advanced Mechatronics?" Del asks.
"Oh, uh… integration of mechanical systems, electronics, and computer control. Basically, it's where I get to build actual robots and—" I catch myself. "Sorry. You don't care about that."
"I care," Del says. "But I also want to hear about the guy."
Right. The guy. "He's, uh. Twinky? Nerdy? Kinda like me, actually. Dark hair, glasses, into robotics. Umm, obviously since he’s in my class. Not really my type, I don't think, but he asked me out for lunch last term, so I figured I should give it a shot."
"And?" Luca prompts.
"It was boring." I slump in my chair. "It was like talking to a robot that doesn't have a voice simulator installed yet.
We sat in the cafe section of Beans too much pasta, not enough protein. It’s a classic Leo lunch, and something in my chest does a quiet, settling thing when he spots our table and heads over.
He drops into the seat next to me like he belongs there. Which he does.
"It's going to rain," he says, immediately reaching for his fork. "That guy on the college radio said it wouldn't, which means it definitely will. He's wrong like 60% of the time."
I smile. "You calculated his error margin?"
Leo takes a bite of his pasta and makes a face. "This is terrible."
"You're eating it anyway."
"I'm hungry. I'll regret it later, but I'll be hungry now if I don't."
My hand moves before I think about it, reaching over, rubbing up and down his arm, just a quick check-in. You okay? Still here. I see you. The kind of thing I do without deciding to.
I notice Del noticing. His grin is slow and knowing and deeply annoying. "Best friends," I mouth. Del's grin gets wider. I don’t think he believes me. I'm not sure why that feels weird.
"So what happened after the boring coffee date?" Haru asks, bringing the conversation back around. Leo nods and keeps eating, listening but not commenting.
"JP's brainstorming for me," I explain. "We're meeting in the kitchen after dinner to make a new plan. Talking to other robotics students doesn't seem to be working either."
"What is your type?" Luca asks, tilting his head.
"I don't know." I shrug. "I don't have much experience, so I don't really know what I like yet."
"It seems you are doing the right thing by trying out many kinds of men," Haru says seriously.
I laugh. "That makes me sound like the sluttiest virgin on campus."
Haru looks devastated. "I did not mean to imply you are a man of loose morals!"
Del actually snorts into his sandwich. "Man of loose morals? Haru, buddy—"
Three years since his father sent him to study here, and Haru still says things like this with complete sincerity. It’s one of my favorite things about him.
"No, it's fine!" I reach over and pat Haru's arm. "There's nothing wrong with what you said. Actually, I kind of like the idea of being the kind of guy who dates lots of different men. Figures out what I want."
"That's healthy," Luca says. "Exploring."
"Exactly."
Leo's quiet next to me. Not eating anymore, just sort of sitting there, staring at his pasta like it said something to offend him.
I know that look. That's the look that means something is running in his head that he hasn't decided to say yet.
Normally I'd wait him out; Leo always gets there eventually, but something about the set of his shoulders makes me want to ask sooner rather than later.
I’m about to say something when— "Del! Hey, man." The loud voice makes me look up.
As George Takei would say, 'Oh… My…’ The guy standing next to Del is tall.
Like, really tall. Maybe six-two? He's got a swimmer's build, long limbs, broad shoulders, a narrow waist, and his hair is wet like he just came from the pool.
His T-shirt clings in all the right places.
He's extremely attractive, and my brain short-circuits a little.
"Cole!" Del shifts Luca slightly so he can fist-bump the guy. "What's up?"
"I snuck in some extra practice, and now I'm starving. Saw you over here and figured I'd say hi." Cole's eyes scan the table and land on me. "Didn't know you had such a big lunch crew."
"Yeah, uh—" Del gestures around the table. "You know my boyfriend Luca. Haru, Leo, and Max, some of his roommates."
"Nice to meet you guys." Cole's smile is easy and friendly. His eyes linger on me for half a second longer than necessary.
Luca sits up a little straighter on Del's lap. "Would you like to join us?" His voice is polite, but there's a stiffness about it. Territorial, maybe?
"Sure, if you don't mind." Cole grabs a chair from a nearby table and pulls it over, dropping down next to me… Next to me.
He's sitting next to me. Holy blasters, he smells good. Like chlorine and something clean and—
"So you guys all live together?" Cole asks, looking at me.
"Um." Words. I have words somewhere. "Yeah. The geek house. We're all… we're geeks." Smooth, Max. Real smooth.
But Cole grins. "Geek house? That's awesome. What are you studying?"
"Umm, Robotics Engineering. I'm actually working on my second degree. My first one was in Applied Mathematics." Why did I say that? That sounds like I'm showing off.
"Not that it's, like, impressive or anything. I just… really like math. And robots. Building things. Taking things apart. Sometimes I take things apart and can't get them back together, and Leo has to help me and—" I'm rambling. Abort. Abort.
"That's really cool," Cole says, and he sounds like he means it. "I'm terrible at math. Always have been. But I love watching people who are good at it, you know? It's like watching someone speak another language."
"It kind of is another language," I say, relaxing a fraction. "Math is… It's the language of the universe. Everything can be described with equations if you know how to write them."
"See? That's exactly what I mean." Cole leans in a little, elbow on the table. "You made math sound interesting. That's a skill."
My face goes hot. "I just… I really like it."
"I can tell." His smile is warm. "What kind of robots do you build?"
And, boom, just like that, we're talking. Actually talking. Cole asks questions and listens to the answers, and when I accidentally launch into an explanation of the motors and hydraulic systems I'm working with, he doesn't look bored. He looks interested.
On my other side, I'm vaguely aware of Haru, Luca, and Leo having their own conversation. Something about Leo's Quantum Mechanics class and whether Schrodinger's cat is a useful thought experiment or just confusing.
But mostly I'm focused on Cole. He's got these really nice hands. Big hands. I'm trying not to stare at them, but they're right there on the table and… Focus, Max.
"So do you compete?" Cole asks. "With the robots?"
"Not yet, but maybe next year. There's a Robotics Battle Competition coming up, actually.
I've been thinking for weeks about how to improve my robot so it can qualify next time.
It's got this rotating blade mechanism that I'm really proud of, and the armor plating is designed to deflect impacts at angles that—" I catch myself again. "Sorry. I'm talking too much."
"No, you're not." Cole's hand lands on my arm, just for a second. Light. Casual. "I like listening to you talk. You get really animated. It's cute."
Cute. He called me cute. My brain does that thing where it tries to process too many inputs at once and just… stops. Like when you plug too many things into one power strip and the whole thing trips. I am a tripped power strip.
"I… uh… thanks?" Wow. Articulate.
Cole glances at his phone and makes a face. "Damn. I've got a study group in ten minutes. I should probably go."
"Oh. Yeah. Okay." Disappointment crashes through me. He stands, stretching, and his shirt rides up just enough to show a strip of skin above his waistband. I look. I absolutely look, and I feel zero guilt about it.
He fist-bumps Del. "Good seeing you, man."
"You too."
Cole looks back at me. "See you around, Max." And then he's gone. I stare at the space where he was standing. Five full seconds. Maybe six before Haru and Luca both lean across the table.
"What did you think of him?" Haru asks, eyes bright.
"Did you know he was flirting with you?" Del adds, grinning.
Was he? I feel heat filling my cheeks. "He was flirting?"
"The whole time," Luca confirms.
"He called you cute," Del points out.
"And he touched your arm," Haru adds. "That is flirting, yes?"
"I, yeah. I guess. I mean—" I run a hand through my hair. "He was really nice. And hot. Like, really hot. Did you see his hands?"
Del laughs. "You were into him."
"Maybe? I don't know. I'm still processing." I turn to Leo, ready to get his opinion because Leo always has good opinions about people, and… He looks wrong. Not sick, exactly. Just off. His jaw is tight, and he's staring at his tray like it pinched him or something.
Concern floods through me, washing away every thought of Cole. Which is, I'll process that later. Right now Leo's jaw is tight, and he's somewhere else entirely, and that matters more. "Hey." I touch Leo's shoulder. "You okay?"
"Fine." His voice is clipped.
"You sure? You got really quiet."
"Just tired."
"Did you drink enough water today?" I'm already reaching for his water bottle to check the level.
It's half full. "Leo. You need to stay hydrated.
Especially with how much you've been studying.
When's the last time you ate something that wasn't caffeine?
" I look pointedly at his barely touched pasta and the empty energy drink beside his plate.
"I'm fine, Max."
"You don't look fine." I dig through my bag, pull out one of the electrolyte powder tubes I always carry. "Here. Put this in your water. It'll help."
"I don't need—"
"Leo. Please." I press the tube into his hand. "For me?"
He sighs but takes it, twisting the cap off his water bottle and dumping the powder in. "Thank you." I watch him take a drink, satisfied.
"How are your classes going? Did you finish that problem set for Advanced Mechanics? The one with the rotational dynamics?"
"Yeah. Last night."
"And you slept?"
"Some."
"How much is some?"
"Max—"
"How much, Leo?"
He huffs out a breath. "Four hours."
"That's not enough. You need at least seven. Your brain can't function properly on four hours. You're going to burn out."
"I'm fine."
"You keep saying that." I'm fully turned toward him now, the rest of the table forgotten, Cole completely evaporated from my brain.
It's always like this with Leo: when something's wrong, everything else just drops away.
"You're clearly dehydrated and exhausted.
When you get back to the house, I want you to drink at least two more bottles of water and take a nap. Okay? Just an hour. Please?"
His mouth twitches. Not a smile. The opposite of a smile, actually. Then it's gone. "Okay," he says quietly. "I'll drink water and nap."
"Do you promise?"
"I promise."
"Good." I squeeze his shoulder. "I worry about you, you know."
"I know." Across the table, Del is watching us with this weird expression. Kind of amused, kind of sad. I don't know what that's about.
"We should probably head back," Luca says, sliding off Del's lap. "I've got a project due tomorrow."
"Same," Haru agrees.
We all stand, gathering our trays. Leo moves slowly, like he's thinking about something complicated, and I stick close to make sure he doesn't forget to bring his water bottle.
He always forgets his water bottle. I don't know how someone so smart can be so consistently bad at keeping himself alive, but here we are.
I grab it for him without thinking. That's what best friends are for.