16. Now?!
Now?!
MAX
"What… now?" The question falls out. When? How? Do we plan this? Do we—
Leo's smiling at me, and I'm having all the feelings. "Now," Leo says.
I blink. "Now?"
"Yeah." He shifts on the bed, and suddenly his hand is on my knee. Warm and steady. "Now, Max."
My brain short-circuits. "We're gonna… now?" My voice comes out as a squeak. An actual squeak. "We are going to have… s-e-x. Now?"
Leo's smile turns softer. "I know you, Max. You'll make yourself sick thinking about it if we don't."
That's… that's… "Yeah, that's fair." And it is. It's completely fair. If we stop now, if we plan this for tomorrow or next week or whenever, I'll spiral. I'll research. I'll make diagrams. I'll probably try to calculate optimal positions using physics equations.
This, right now, while I'm still riding the high of Leo saying yes, this is the only way this works. Holy motherboard, we're doing this NOW.
"Max." Leo's voice is steady. "Before we… I need to ask. Is this what you actually want? Not the plan, not the list. You."
"Yes." No hesitation.
"Okay." He exhales. "Then you can stop this at any time... Any time. Just say the word, and we stop. Okay?"
I nod. Can't quite form words yet.
"I need to hear you say it."
"Okay," I manage to say. "I can stop anytime."
"Good." Then Leo's hands are on my hips, and he's pulling, gently, carefully, and suddenly I'm straddling his lap. My legs on either side of his thighs. Our faces close. So close, I can see the gold flecks in his eyes, the way his pupils are slightly dilated.
"Hi," I say stupidly.
"Hi." Leo's smiling again, and then he's leaning in, slowly, giving me time to pull back if I want to.
I don't want to.
His lips touch mine. Soft and careful, He's testing that I'm on board with this.
Every nerve in my body lights up like a circuit board being powered on for the first time.
A groan escapes me, and Leo makes this small noise in response.
His hands tighten on my hips. The kiss deepens.
His tongue traces my lower lip, and I open for him without thinking, and…
Oh, oh wow, this is—
Leo pulls back from my mouth, and I whimper at the loss, but then his lips are on my jaw. Nibbling. His teeth scrape along the edge, and I shiver. Then his mouth moves lower, to my neck, and he's licking and nipping and…
"Is it normal to… wow… that feels—" My fingers dig into his shoulders when he hits a spot right behind my ear. "Oh blasters, right there, that's—"
I try to lean in for another kiss, twisting in his lap, and my forehead connects with his nose. Hard.
"Ow!" We both say it at the same time. Leo leans back, hand coming up to his nose. For a second, I'm terrified I broke it, but then he's laughing, head tipped back, eyes crinkled at the corners.
"Oh my god, I'm so sorry—"
"Max." Leo's still laughing, but his eyes are fond. "Please relax before you actually hurt one of us."
"I'm relaxed!"
"You headbutted me."
"That was an accident!"
"I know." Leo reaches up and cups my face in his hands. His thumbs stroke across my cheekbones. "But you need to breathe, okay? We don't have to rush. We can take our time."
Right. Breathe. I can do that. Breathing is a basic biological function. Involuntary, even though right now it feels like I have to manually control every inhale and exhale.
"Okay," I say. "Taking time. Got it. So we should probably establish parameters first. Like, what's the optimal sequence of events? Should we start with more kissing? Or should we—"
Leo kisses me. He leans in and kisses me, swallowing whatever I was about to say. His tongue slides against mine, and my brain whites out. When he pulls back, I'm panting.
"What was that for?"
"You can't plan this like it's a robot build, Max." His voice is low. Amused. "Sometimes you have to feel it."
Feel it. Right. I can feel things. I'm feeling a lot of things right now, actually. Primarily, the way Leo's hands are sliding up under my shirt, fingertips trailing over my skin, and—
"Oh." The word comes out breathy. "Okay. Feeling it. I can feel it."
"Good." Leo's smiling against my mouth as he kisses me again. "That's good."
And then we're making out, really making out, and I forget to think about sequences or parameters or anything except the way Leo tastes and the warmth of his hands and the growing pressure where our hips are pressed together.
When Leo's hands find the hem of my shirt and start to pull it up, I help.
Eager. Maybe too eager because I nearly elbowed him in the face getting it off.
"Sorry!"
"It's fine." Leo's laughing again, and I can't even be embarrassed because he's looking at me like I'm what he wants as my shirt hits the floor.
Leo's hands spread across my chest, and I shiver at the contact. His thumbs brush over my nipples, and I make a sound I didn't know I could make. "Sensitive," Leo murmurs, and does it again.
"I… yes… apparently…" Words are hard. Why are words hard?
Leo's shirt comes off next. I help with that too, less frantically this time.
Then his hands are on my waistband, and mine are on his, and we're fumbling with buttons and zippers like we've both forgotten how pants work.
Somehow, we get them off. Boxers too. Until we're both naked on his bed and I'm straddling him again and…
I freeze because Leo's cock is right there. Hard and thick and…
"I've seen you change before," I blurt out. "But that's. That looks—"
"I'm a grower," Leo says, and he sounds almost apologetic. A little embarrassed even. "So yeah, I'm going to prep you really well."
A grower. Right. That's a thing. Except I've seen Leo soft, and this is significantly more substantial and… My hand reaches out before I can think about it. Wraps around him. Leo makes a choked sound.
"Is this okay?" I ask, giving an experimental stroke.
"Yes." Leo's voice is strained. "Very okay."
I stroke again. He's hot in my hand. Silky skin over hardness. Thick enough that my fingers just meet. I have smallish hands for a man, but… Holy handgrenades… He's big. The circumference alone could be challenging. And I'm supposed to… this is supposed to…
"Max." Leo's hand covers mine, stilling my movement. "If you keep doing that, this is going to be over really fast."
Yeah. Right. "Sorry."
"Don't apologize." Leo takes my hand, brings it to his mouth, and kisses my palm. "But I need you to trust me, okay? I'm going to make sure you're prepped."
Prepped… For that… My cock, which had flagged slightly during my minor panic, perks back up with interest. "Okay," I say. "I trust you."
Leo's smile is soft. "I know you do." Then he's reaching for something on his nightstand, lube, I realize, and I remember the line, the one we always quote when things get slippery.
"There's always time for lubricant," I say.
Leo looks up at me. Blinks. Then starts laughing. "Did you seriously quote Evolution… right now…"
"David Duchovny was so nerdy hot!" Huh, maybe I do have a type… Leo thinks for a second, then agrees with me.
"There's always time for lubricant!" We both say this time, both of us cracking up.
"You're ridiculous," Leo says, but he's grinning.
"You quoted it first. Last year. When JP spilled the—"
"I remember." Leo kisses me again, still smiling. "You're still ridiculous."
"Yeah, but you like me anyway."
Leo’s mouth curves up. "Yeah. I really do." Then he's flipping open the lube and slicking up his hand, and I forget how to breathe again.
"Come here," Leo says, and guides me closer. Until our chests are pressed together. Until his slick hand wraps around both of us.
"Oh." The sound punches out of me. "Oh, blasters."
Leo strokes. Once. Twice. The slide of our cocks together, the pressure, the heat. My eyes roll back. "That’s… holy servo motors—"
"Good?" Leo's voice is low. Rough.
"So good. Why is it so much better with someone else?"
Leo laughs, breathless. "Physics, probably."
"Don't make me think about physics right now."
"Then don't think." Another stroke. "Just feel.
" So I do. I feel the way Leo's cock slides against mine.
The way pre-come mixes with lube. The way his free hand grips my hip, holding me steady.
The way his breath ghosts across my neck.
I'm close. Embarrassingly close. Leo must sense it because his hand tightens at the base of my cock, stopping everything.
"No!" I actually whine. "Why did you stop me?"
"Because I want you ready." Leo's voice is steady despite his own obvious arousal. "Really ready. So it doesn't hurt."
Right. Prep. We need to do prep. That's the whole point of… "But I was so close," I complain.
"I know." Leo sounds smug. Actually smug. "That's the point." He does it again. Strokes us together until I'm panting and desperate and right on the edge, then stops. Holds me there, trembling and needy.
"Leo, please—"
"Not yet."
"But—"
"Trust me." I do. I trust him. But that doesn't make this any less torture. The third time he edges me, I'm actually begging.
"Leo." It comes out wrecked. "Leo, please… I can't… please—"
He makes a soft sound, almost as if he’s struggling, too. "Not yet."
"Leo!"
"Soon," Leo says. "I've got you." I make a noise that's not quite words anymore.
"Lie down," Leo says. I scramble off his lap, graceless, desperate, and flop onto my back on his bed.
Leo follows, settling between my legs, and his hands are everywhere.
Sliding up my thighs. Over my hips. Across my stomach.
His tongue comes next. Licking along my collarbone.
Down my chest. Circling one nipple, then the other.
I'm squirming, hands fisted in his sheets, trying not to grab him.
"Stay still," Leo murmurs against my skin.
"Can't."
"Try." His mouth moves lower. Kisses across my stomach. His nails drag lightly over my ribs, and I shiver, goosebumps rising. He traces the sharp jut of my hipbones with his tongue, and I make a sound that's half moan, half sob.
"You're so responsive," Leo says, almost to himself. "So perfect."