Happy New Years… I Guess #3
"Not really. Math is the language. Robotics is what you do with it." The room is getting warmer, more bodies pressing in. "Math made sense because it was clean; if something failed, you could find the flaw. But it was all theoretical. I wanted to build things I could touch."
"You like solving problems."
"I like understanding systems." I take a drink. "People are the only system I can't figure out. There's no error code, no diagnostic. They feel things and expect you to know what they're feeling without any data."
Jaren laughs. "You sound like my roommate. Caleb, do you know him? Logic and structure, all the way. He doesn't trust people easily."
I shake my head, smiling a little. "I've only heard of him. The grumpy one?"
"That's putting it mildly. But he's a good guy under all the scowling." He glances out at the crowd, where someone is attempting a conga line with spectacular failure. "Trust is hard for some people."
"Yeah." I watch the conga line collapse. "It is."
"Sometimes you just have to take a chance, though." He's looking at me when he says it, and my stomach does that embarrassing flip again.
"Yeah," I say. "I know."
Time does that weird party thing where it compresses and stretches. One minute I'm talking to Jaren about his social work major, the next someone's teaching Haru a drinking game, the next Leo's won every dart game and is being carried on Rex and Jeff's shoulders like a champion.
I check my phone: 11:47 PM. Thirteen minutes to midnight.
The room's packed now, everyone gravitating toward the main space.
Someone's turned down the music slightly, enough to hear conversation but not enough to kill the vibe.
Drew is messing with the TV, pulling up the Times Square New Year's countdown.
Jaren appears next to me with water bottles.
"Figured you might want to hydrate before midnight. "
"Oh. Thanks." I crack it open and drink, and don't realize how thirsty I was until the cold water hits my throat. He's close enough that our shoulders brush. The room is loud and chaotic and full of people I barely know, but Jaren's presence is steady. Nice.
"You having fun?" he asks.
"Yeah, actually. I wasn't sure I would, but—" I look around. "This is good."
"Good." His smile is gorgeous. "I'm having fun too." My face feels warm. Why does he keep doing that, saying nice things like it costs him nothing?
Drew gets the countdown working, Times Square on the TV, the ball poised to drop. People start gathering, couples finding each other, friends grouping up. Someone yells "two minutes,” and the energy in the room shifts, crackling.
Jaren angles toward me slightly. "Full disclosure, I've never actually had a proper New Year’s midnight kiss.
It always seemed like a lot of pressure, finding the right person at exactly the right moment.
" He rubs the back of his neck, and it's the first time he's looked anything other than easy and confident all night.
"But…" He looks at me, hazel eyes searching. "If you wanted to. I'd like that."
My heart kicks into overdrive. Blasters. This is happening. An attractive guy who's been kind and attentive all night is asking if he can kiss me at midnight, and I can feel myself grinning like an idiot. I want this. I can do this.
"Yeah," I hear myself say. "Okay." The dimple appears again, deeper this time. That’s a really good smile.
The TV gets louder. Drew cranks the volume. Jaren moves closer, not crowding, just there, and my brain is running at a million miles an hour, cycling through reassurances. This is fine. This is good. This is normal. Don't overthink it.
"ONE MINUTE!"
I glance around without meaning to. Leo's somewhere to my left with Rex, Jeff, and Ian, all of them laughing about something.
Drew and Emily are together. JP's checking his watch like he doesn't trust the TV countdown.
Haru is being supported by two frat brothers, still grinning like the world is made of sunshine.
My friends are happy. I'm happy.
"THIRTY SECONDS!"
Jaren's hands find my hips; they’re light, no pressure, just there, and he draws me in slowly.
His eyes are on mine, and then they drop to my mouth and don't come back up right away.
I wet my lips without thinking about it.
There's a shift between us. The air gets warmer.
Color rises along his cheekbones, and I can't stop looking at it.
"TEN! NINE! EIGHT!"
The room is screaming the countdown. I'm screaming it too, caught up in the energy.
"SEVEN! SIX! FIVE!"
Jaren's hand comes up, hesitant. Questioning.
"FOUR! THREE!"
I nod.
"TWO! ONE!"
"HAPPY NEW YEAR!"
The room explodes with cheering, noisemakers, someone must have smuggled past Drew, confetti poppers from everywhere, and the music is blaring.
Jaren's hands frame my face, warm and careful. He leans in.
His lips press against mine. Soft. He tastes like beer and mint gum, and his hands are steady and strong on my hips. The kiss is sweet and unhurried and exactly what a first kiss is supposed to be.
The room fades slightly. Just this. Just now.
I wait for the fireworks.