Chapter 13
CHAPTER
THIRTEEN
Rett
This was bad.
And totally unfair.
Someone please tell me why I finally, in all my twenty-two years, made a friend—a best friend—only to find out my bestie somehow knew the man who’d escaped into thin air with my heart.
Why can’t anything ever be easy?
Oh, but it was.
So easy to lie in bed beside him, my body soaking up his warmth like it was some kind of touch-starved sponge. Any thoughts of mutiny my brain conjured were basically overruled by my nervous system and the feeling of safety. Thing was, I shouldn’t even feel safe with him.
But even after he drifted off to sleep, I didn’t get up. He took a bullet for me, after all. Not that I asked him to do that.
Honestly, if he hadn’t left behind a pile of cash two years ago, I might have been able to convince myself that night had been nothing more than a weird fever dream.
Even if most of my dreams were morbid, you know, like someone murdering me and hanging up my body parts on a clothesline.
Or someone shoving me off the side of a mountain where I plummeted to my death.
I never once dreamed of happy things like being the object of someone’s desire and handed a jackpot.
Yes, Rett, because it’s so happy for someone to treat you like a prostitute.
But in my life? It was the nicest thing that had ever happened.
For the longest time, I was convinced he’d come back, if for nothing more than to reclaim the money he’d left.
Time passed. The way he made me feel lingered even when hurt settled in alongside it.
Still, I waited. I watched. One time, I wandered into an alley to see if he’d appear.
He didn’t, but I got chased for two blocks by some thugs and only got away because I was small enough to slip inside a narrow space between two dumpsters and hide.
Jammed into the filthy crack, I trembled as the men searched, loudly making it very clear their plans to disembowel me. It had been an eye-opening moment.
Well, not really because I mostly had my eyes squeezed shut the whole time. There were rats back there. Also, I’m pretty sure one of the thugs took a leak on the dumpster just a foot away from where I crouched. Some things should just never be seen.
There was a realization, though. I realized, even though Hiro was not someone I could forget, I was obviously the opposite. Utterly forgettable.
I had a long time to think while crammed into that urine-marinated hidey hole, and by the time I crawled out, I was covered in scrapes and had to limp home.
But I was stronger and more determined than ever to take care of myself and not rely on anyone else.
Just because someone had shown me a scrap of attention did not mean they cared enough to stay. It didn’t mean I could depend on him.
The only person I had to depend on was myself.
I’d already made the choice of running away from home—away from that danger—and I didn’t regret it.
But I was still running, still in danger.
It was time to use the money Hiro had left behind.
The money I’d held on to in fear he’d demand it back.
And also, it wasn’t really right to just take someone’s money.
But I had waited for months, and frankly, if he didn’t want me to use it, then he shouldn’t have left it. I finally decided that if he came back asking for it later, I’d just tell him too bad, so sad.
I learned quickly that five thousand wasn’t exactly the epitome of riches I considered, but it was more than enough for a deposit and a few months’ rent on a tiny apartment in the worst part of Buffalo.
I mean, sure, the ceiling leaked when it rained, the thermostat was more of a suggestion than a setting, and the first time I opened the closet (a term I use loosely), the door came off the tracks like it was trying to escape, but it was home.
And everything else worked—just not very well.
Once I had a roof and four walls, I started applying for jobs.
I found a couple that were short-lived and paid more in emotional and physical damage than money.
I mean, who knew there was such a thing as a pigeon deterrent specialist?
Seemed easy at the time. It was not, in fact, easy, and the pigeons won.
Right after I got fired as a front desk attendant at a gym, I went to the homeless shelter, feeling down on my luck.
What was the big deal anyway? I called the StairMaster Satan’s staircase one time.
That hardly qualified me for immediate dismissal.
How was I supposed to know my boss was super religious?
After my boss handed me the pay he owed, he told me he’d pray for me.
Although, thinking back, the picture of Jesus hanging in the breakroom made so much more sense.
I volunteered at the homeless shelter now that I had a home and a revolving door of bad jobs.
Sometimes it felt like a lot to work, take care of myself, and volunteer, but I reminded myself I was lucky.
I’d gotten off the street because someone who will not be named helped me.
And before him, the homeless shelter had been my sanctuary.
Well, there and the library. I wanted to help other people like me, and if I couldn’t help them (Let’s face it.
I was sort of a one-man crisis), then I could at least be there for them. Sometimes kindness went a long way.
After hearing my bad news, the shelter advocate told me he’d just heard of an opening for a cable company service rep.
Apparently, you didn’t even have to know anything about cable.
You just had to be willing to answer the phone and let people yell at you for their bill being too high or tell them to turn off the internet and then turn it on again.
And the best part? You could do it from home.
Hello, dream job.
I applied right away, and they called me for an interview. I guess it was a little more involved than I thought, but they give you a script and manual for troubleshooting so you basically just have to follow directions.
Oh, and they gave me a laptop to use at home!
I did have to dip into my emergency fund to get headphones and also a Wi-Fi signal booster, but that seemed like a worthy investment into my new career.
After six months working there, I came to the conclusion that this was not the dream job I thought it was.
But I kept it anyway. I liked working from home.
It was quiet (except when someone was yelling at me), and I didn’t need a uniform or fancy clothes.
Some days, I worked in just underwear. Working the night shift was my favorite because there were less calls and I had more time to read.
Overall, I’d built a nice life for myself. Sure, sometimes it was a little lonely and, sure, sometimes thoughts of him crept in, but I couldn’t complain. Volunteering at the shelter reminded me of that every day.
And then Haz moved in across the hall.
We didn’t really talk too much at first, but now we were best friends.
I was a little worried when Haz’s new boyfriend—who was kinda scary—tried to shoot my face off.
Thankfully, Kieran wasn’t as bad as I first thought.
He was grumpy and kinda mean and his eye did this weird twitching thing a lot, but he’d let me spend the night after Ghost got shot.
Not only that, but he and Haz slept on the couch so Ghost could have the bed to rest comfortably.
But the most important thing was that he seemed to really love Haz.
I wish someone loved me.
So yeah, that about sums it up. Sorry for the long explanation. I tend to ramble when I get nervous, and right about now, I’m fizzier than a shaken soda.
Now that you know everything, you can understand why this was bad. I mean, I worked hard to get to where I was now. How dare he show up out of the blue, take a bullet for me, say things like I’d never accept death when life has you, and then make me sleep against his droolworthy naked chest.
He smells even better than I remember.
How dare my heart act like it hadn’t even missed me? As if it would rather be with him.
It was the ultimate betrayal.
Obviously, I couldn’t stay here. With him. I just really hoped I didn’t have to give up my only friend. How did Haz know Hiro anyway? He’d said before he was Kieran’s friend. But how did they know each other? And what even happened yesterday at the Neon Reef?
One minute, I was walking into the fish store where Haz worked for pizza and friend time, and the next, bullets were literally flying.
All of this was just making my head hurt worse. I reached up to gingerly finger the temple where the pain seemed to throb the most and winced. Maybe I could ask Haz for some pain meds on my way out.
No. No pills. They just led to trouble.
I definitely needed to leave, though. Better to be the one doing the leaving than the one left behind.
Been there. Done that. Technically, I had the T-shirt to prove it. A hoodie too.
My body protested when I eased away from Hiro and sat up in the center of the bed. It was a really nice bed, by the way. Probably the nicest I’d ever slept in. I didn’t even know sheets could be this soft.
The second I was upright, chills raced over my arms and back as a shiver jolted down my spine.
The air in the room wasn’t nearly as warm as Hiro.
The urge to curl up against him once more actually had me swaying toward him, but I forced myself back, crossing my legs under me.
Frankly, sitting crisscross like this hurt.
My hips ached and my knees felt too much pressure, yet my body always defaulted to this position.
Like every single day, my brain forgot the pain until it was forced to remember.
Still, I didn’t unfold my legs. I could sit like this for a few minutes before it became unbearable.