Chapter 17
Seventeen
“You’re quiet.” Orion sits opposite me in the hovercraft, heading back to my apartment.
“I’m slightly overwhelmed.” A half-truth. Leo’s words swirl through my head while I consider potential alliances, the Kosmos using humans to do their bidding, the power imbalance, the upcoming games… It’s all too much.
“I know there is a lot to absorb. Take tomorrow for yourself. We’ll start training on day one of the next cycle.
” My eyes meet his in the darkened vehicle.
Pity? Empathy? Something sits in his gaze that I’m not prepared for.
I almost let myself forget he can sense my emotions. I flick my eyes back to the window.
In two days, my entire life has been uprooted.
My concerns have shifted from my station assignment to pursuing equality for my people and ultimately, ensuring survival.
My thoughts drift to Xander, Jada, and Gwenda.
I sigh against the headrest, watching the city outside pass by in a blur.
What could my friends possibly think? I didn’t even say goodbye to Xander. I hope they’re okay.
Silence envelopes us in the hovercraft. At least I will have one day to myself before I dive back into this insanity. “Zellie?”
“Hmm?”
“I can feel your anxiousness. I won’t let anything happen to you.” Sincerity lines Orion’s features.
I want to believe him; I do.
But I can’t.
I wake early, wasting precious hours pouting both curled beneath the covers and floating in the bathtub.
My encounter with Leo continues to haunt me, despite my attempts to shove his words from my mind.
Hunger gets the best of me, and after rummaging through the icebox, I assemble and devour a yogurt parfait while absorbing the information provided in the Games binder once more.
All I wanted was the day to myself, but now the quiet is too much. Instead of tranquil, I’m on edge.
Restlessness nips at me, as does the awareness that I’m not taking advantage of my time in Astralis.
When will I ever be in a place like this again?
I can be unhappy regarding my current situation while being excited to explore something new.
I dress similarly to how I had dressed on my first outing with Orion, wearing another two-piece set, this time in dazzling silver.
Desperate for companionship and feeling rather lonely being away from my unit, I leave my apartment and set out for Lenny’s.
Unfortunately for me, the universe continues to sour my mood when the big brute who lit the match to this mood exits his apartment and obstructs the hall.
I sidestep, trying to move past him, only for Leo to once again block me. I let out a frustrated growl. Leo chuckles deeply in return. “Looking for me?”
Crossing my arms, I raise an eyebrow. “In what world would I possibly be doing that?”
Leo leans in close, his clean scent filling my nostrils. “In every world, sweetheart.”
I fight off a full-body shiver, my heart rate increasing. He shouldn’t have this effect on me. And yet… there’s an undeniable draw to Leo. I can’t stand it. I hate him and my traitorous body for having such a dramatic reaction to him being in my proximity.
His self-assured smile is smug, as if he knows exactly how I was feeling, and it is the final straw. “Get over yourself, Leo.” I make another move to brush by him, and thankfully, he willingly lets me go. I pretend I don’t feel his eyes following me the rest of the way down the hall.
Lenny opens on the second knock. “Zellie, hi!”
“Up for some exploring?”
“Oh, I don’t know. I’m nervous about training tomorrow.”
“Same, my dude, same. The day is young; let’s distract ourselves.”
A sheepish smile creeps onto his face. “You’re right. A diversion sounds perfect.” Seems like a day in the city is what we both need.
“How are you finding it here?” Lenny and I walk side by side in a park surrounded by flora, greenery, and towering trees.
“It’s not so bad. Inia—my sponsor—is nice. Finding Aria is a bonus. In the arena, everyone looked so much older than I did. No offense.”
I laugh, knowing that I, too, thought twenty-seven was old at seventeen. “None taken. Missing home at all? I miss my friends.”
“Honestly? I was kind of lonely. I didn’t fit in back home.” Lenny is quiet as we continue walking in silence. “Maybe being here won’t be such a bad thing after all. I miss Gwenda. She took me in.”
“She does that, doesn’t she?” Guilt eats at me for not knowing him and for not including him in the unit. Did our paths overlap? But we can’t change the past; we can only take charge of our future. “We’re on the same team. You never need to feel alone, okay? We’re in this together.”
“A dynamic duo.”
“Damn right, we are.”
Lenny puts his hands in his pockets, looking down. His voice is soft when he finally speaks. “I’ve never had someone on my team. It’s a nice feeling.”
My heart bursts at his vulnerability, at him opening up to me—but mostly at the thought of him being alone. “Lenny, how? You’re wonderful.”
“I don’t know,” he mumbles, kicking a pebble out of his path. “The other kids my age think I’m weird. They’re all so social, and I get super anxious trying to talk to people. When I did try, we never had similar interests, and everyone just kind of gave up on trying, you know?”
I swallow the growing lump in my throat. Being a teenager is so fucking hard. “What do you like to do?”
“Stop, you’re just being nice.”
“No, I want to know!”
His hesitancy thankfully yields to the hope of building a friendship.
“I like to learn how things are built. Like what goes into making the service centers and screens and stuff. There’s a whole section in the Library.
I could spend all day reading about what goes into the mechanics and electrical parts. I’d love to build things like that.”
“Like engineering-type stuff?”
“Yeah!”
“That’s awesome, Len. I love learning new things too. I bet we could learn to build something together.”
His smile is infectious, wrapping around my soul. “Would you really want to?”
“I would love to, Len. Now let’s go find some ice cream.”
We wander the shops, finding ice cream and paying with silver coins left in our apartments for sundaes overloaded with toppings.
Both the Celestials and Astrals treat Lenny and me with such compassion, despite us being outsiders both to their kind and their world.
While their mystical beauty still causes me to take pause, I’m slowly becoming accustomed to the transcendental qualities surrounding me.
The day is cool, the ice cream is sweet, and, for the first time since finding that envelope in my room, I feel a sense of peace.