Chapter 22
The high of Alexander's laugh carried me through the rest of the afternoon like I was walking on clouds.
I couldn't stop replaying the sound of it in my head. The way his eyes had crinkled, the way his terrifying aura had completely dissolved into something so breathtakingly human. It gave me a dangerous, foolish amount of hope.
That evening, the estate was quiet. A soft, steady rain was falling outside, drumming against the massive windows of the library.
Alexander was sitting at his mahogany desk, reviewing a stack of physical dossiers. He was back in his dark military trousers and a black shirt, his reading glasses perched on the bridge of his nose. He looked incredibly focused, entirely immersed in his demanding, high-stakes world.
I stood in the hallway just outside the open library doors, pacing back and forth, rubbing my sweating palms against my thighs.
*Just tell him,* I coached myself, taking deep, shaky breaths. *He laughed today. He protected your dad. He blocked Daniel. He feels something. Just be bold, Grace. Go in there and be bold.*
I squared my shoulders. I lifted my chin. I marched into the library with every intention of standing tall and delivering a confident, articulate confession.
"Alexander," I said.
He didn't look up immediately. He finished signing his name at the bottom of a document, placed his pen down with precise care, and then lifted his sharp gray eyes to meet mine.
The moment his intense, uncompromising gaze locked onto me, my rehearsed boldness shattered like fragile glass.
My shoulders instantly slumped. I broke eye contact, looking down at the intricate pattern of the Persian rug, my fingers nervously twisting the hem of my sweater.
"Is something wrong, Grace?" he asked, his deep voice carrying through the quiet room.
"No," I squeaked, my face already burning. "No, nothing is wrong. I just... I wanted to talk to you."
Alexander took off his reading glasses and set them on the desk. He leaned back in his heavy leather chair, steepling his fingers. He gave me his absolute, undivided attention.
"I am listening."
I swallowed the massive lump in my throat. I forced myself to take three steps closer to the desk, though my hands were trembling so badly I had to clasp them together behind my back.
"Today at the range," I started, my voice terribly small. "When you laughed..."
Alexander's expression remained perfectly unreadable, though a faint tightening of his jaw showed he was tracking my every word.
"It made me realize something," I continued, forcing myself to look up at him. "Actually, I think I've been realizing it for a while. Since you visited my house for dinner. Since you stayed at the hospital for hours."
The air in the library suddenly grew incredibly thick. The electric, simmering tension that always lived between us spiked, becoming heavy and suffocating.
Alexander went completely, unnervingly still. He didn't interrupt me. He didn't ask a blunt question. His military mind was incredibly sharp; he knew exactly what a perimeter breach looked like, and right now, I was breaching the walls he had built around his heart.
"I know we have a contract," I babbled, my natural shyness making me rush the words. "I know we agreed to one year. I know I'm just a civilian and you're a General and my life is normal and your life is... terrifying. But I can't pretend anymore."
I took a deep breath, my eyes filling with unshed tears from the sheer, terrifying vulnerability of the moment.
"I am falling in love with you, Alexander."
Silence.
Absolute, deafening silence.
The rain continued to tap against the glass, but inside the room, time stopped.
Alexander stared at me. He didn't blink. The muscles in his broad chest stopped moving. He looked like a man who had just been handed a live explosive and had precisely one second to decide how to disarm it.
His eyes were incredibly dark, swirling with a violent clash of duty and emotion.
For one agonizing minute, he said absolutely nothing.
Then, he stood up.
He didn't walk around the desk. He didn't close the distance between us like he had in the closet. He stood behind his fortress of mahogany, maintaining the physical boundary.
"Grace," Alexander said.
His voice was a low, heavy rumble. It wasn't angry, but it was so terrifyingly flat and blunt that my heart immediately cracked.
"My life is not a place for love," he stated, looking directly into my eyes, delivering the words without a single drop of hesitation. "It is a place for targets, casualties, and collateral damage. The men who want me dead would not hesitate to use my wife as leverage."
"I don't care about that," I whispered, a tear spilling over my lashes.
"I care," he countered instantly, his tone uncompromising. "I signed a contract to protect you and your father. Allowing myself to form an emotional attachment to you makes you a vulnerability. It makes you a target."
I stared at him, my chest aching so badly I could barely breathe. He wasn't rejecting me because he didn't care. He was rejecting me because his entire existence was built on discipline and defense.
"So... what are you saying?" I choked out.
Alexander gripped the edge of his desk. His knuckles turned white. It was the only physical sign of the immense restraint he was exerting.
"I am saying," Alexander told me bluntly, "that I cannot give you an answer right now. And I will not give you false hope."
He paused, his gray eyes locking onto mine with devastating finality.
"Do not wait for me, Grace."
The words hit me like physical blows.
*Do not wait for me.*
My twenty-two-year-old heart shattered into a million tiny pieces on the floor of his grand library. I wanted to cry. I wanted to run across the room, grab his shirt, and beg him to just let his walls fall.
But I didn't.
Instead, I took a deep, shaky breath. I wiped the single tear off my cheek. I looked up at the terrifying, honorable, emotionally repressed General who had just broken my heart to keep me safe.
I forced the brightest, bravest smile I could muster onto my face.
"Okay," I whispered gently. "I understand, Alexander. I will respect the contract."
Alexander's jaw clenched so hard I thought his teeth might shatter. His eyes tracked my brave, wobbly smile, and for a fraction of a second, the General looked completely, utterly gutted.
"Goodnight," I murmured.
I turned around and walked out of the library, keeping my posture straight until I was out of his line of sight.
The moment my bedroom door clicked shut, the brave smile collapsed.
I slid down the back of the door, pulled my knees to my chest, and cried.I cried for his heavy, burdened life. And I cried because I had finally been bold, and it had ended exactly how I feared it would.
With shaking hands, I pulled my phone from my pocket and hit speed dial.
She picked up on the second ring.
"Tell me you are calling to say you two are finally acting like a married couple," Mia answered cheerfully.
"I told him," I sobbed into the receiver, my voice completely broken.
Mia's cheerfulness vanished instantly. "Grace? Oh my God, sweetie, why are you crying? What did he say?"
"He said no," I hiccuped, wiping my wet cheeks. "Well, he said his life isn't a place for love. He said I would become a target. And then he told me not to wait for him."
"That absolute, frustrating, thick-skulled military robot!" Mia hissed fiercely through the phone. "I swear to God, I am going to drive to that fortress right now and fight him!"
"Don't," I sniffled. "He was just being honest, Mia. He's a General. He doesn't know how to do this. He thinks he's protecting me."
"Protecting you by breaking your heart?" Mia scoffed angrily. "Grace, listen to me. What exactly were his words? Did he say he doesn't love you?"
I paused, thinking back to his blunt delivery. "No. He said he cannot give me an answer right now."
Mia let out a heavy sigh. "Okay. Okay, listen to me, G. The man is terrified. He is used to controlling everything, and he cannot control his feelings for you, so he is trying to lock them in a box."
"What do I do?" I whispered miserably.
"You do exactly what he asked," Mia said, her voice turning fiercely protective and incredibly serious. "He told you not to wait for him? Fine. You stop waiting. You stop making his tea. You stop looking at him with heart eyes across the dinner table."
"Mia, I can't just be mean to him."
"You aren't being mean, Grace. You are honoring his boundaries," Mia explained. "You focus on your internship. You focus on your dad. You live your life. And you let General Alexander Reeves feel exactly what this massive, empty house feels like without your love filling it."
I leaned my head back against the door, closing my swollen eyes.
"You think he'll notice?" I asked quietly.
"Grace," Mia said softly. "The man intercepted a text message and threatened a college kid just because the boy wanted to buy you coffee. When you pull your warmth away... the General is going to lose his absolute mind."
I wiped the last of my tears away, a tiny, determined spark flickering to life in my chest.
"Okay," I whispered into the dark room. "Okay. I'll stop waiting."
?? "DO NOT WAIT FOR ME." ?? The angst has officially arrived! Alexander thinks he is protecting her, but Mia is about to help Grace teach him a massive lesson!
Drop a ?? and vote if your heart broke for Grace! Are you ready for Chapter 23, where Grace pulls back and the General absolutely panics?! Let me know in the comments! Mwaah!