Chapter 28 #2
If Ambrose was shocked by the arrival of Leaf alongside his master, he didn’t show it, accepting an order to fetch the doctor without a flicker of concern.
It took only five minutes for the doctor to arrive, yet it felt like five years.
Leaf was as tense, the pair of them pacing about, holding the possibilities close lest they start to feel too real.
Standing by the door, Nic unlocked it the moment Ambrose tapped, and pulled it wide to invite the doctor in.
“Lord Monterris, is your wound troubling you? I can make up another draught of—”
“No, thank you, Doctor,” Nic said. “It is as well as can be expected. I have a far more important reason for asking you to come.”
The man’s brows rose as he looked from Nic to Leaf and back. “More serious than near strangulation and a gash in the side makes it quite a serious matter.” He glanced around as Ambrose locked the door in their wake. “Especially when it seems you still fear it happening again.”
“Something we should all fear. If someone wants this contract broken and is willing to kill to achieve it, then we’re all in danger until the ink is dry tomorrow.”
For a moment he thought to admit he knew who had attacked him, but Lord Ricard seemed to belong to a whole other time.
“In truth, Doctor,” Nic went on instead, “I don’t wish to risk any more lives for a contract I do not want.
This house is a prison, the Monterris family a long-desiccated wasteland of old hatreds, and I no more wish to bring Leaf into it than I want to remain part of it myself.
But when I planned to break the lock-in to ensure no one else died, my father threatened to send Mama to an asylum if I did. ”
Dr. Fanshaw had been steadily regarding him, but he winced at that.
“Ah.” Nic nodded. “I see I don’t need to explain to you why that stayed my hand.”
“No, my lord, I… have enough experience that I can heartily endorse never sending anyone to such a place, and certainly not someone as fragile as Her Grace. I am yet, however, to understand why I am here.”
“I asked you to come because there are other ways to break a contract. One way, specifically, that would also allow me to escape my life. Allow me to save my mother. And to love someone Lord Nicholas Monterris is not allowed to love. You see, all my life I have been told that death is the only way to escape being a Monterris. So I ask you, Doctor, how close did I come to dying the other night? And was it close enough?”
For many long seconds, Dr. Fanshaw stared at him and Nic stared back, not yet daring to hope as the light of realisation slowly dawned across the man’s face.
“You want me to write you a death certificate.”
It was exactly what Nic wanted, yet his heart pounded sickeningly at the truth of it. “Yes.”
“No doubt you are well aware that such a thing, given you are living and breathing, would be an unethical and illegal use of my position under medical jurisprudence.”
“Yes. Though I would argue that while it might be illegal, it is not unethical. What is unethical is a society that robs me of all autonomy and puts my life solely in the hands of another. A society that values me only for the Brilliance in my blood and tells us it makes me better than you. A society where we’ve turned magic into a cage and love into an impossibility, such that murder is an easier resort than words.
A society that I, frankly, do not want to live in.
My father will not sasine me, but you can kill me. ”
Once again, Dr. Fanshaw met his gaze with a silent, considering stare and Nic found his chest tightening. This was his one hope, a hope that couldn’t but swell for every moment the doctor did not refuse.
“You make a compelling argument, Lord Monterris,” the doctor said after a time, the words soft, apologetic.
“But you will not be surprised to learn there are some impediments to your request. The first is that in order to be binding, a death certificate requires not only my signature, but the signature and workings of a vowsmith.”
A small smile twitched Nic’s lips. “I don’t think that will be a problem.”
He might have destroyed any hope of a future with Dashiell, but he had no doubt the vowsmith would at least grant him one final request.
Dr. Fanshaw’s brows rose. “I see, but it is, sadly, the lesser issue. The risk to my reputation, you know, is no small thing, and the likelihood of two peers challenging my signature in the royal court is a frankly terrifying proposition. And yet you’re right.
That is not a society in which I wish to live either.
I understand your wish to be free, and your wish to save your mother from what would be little better than a slow and painful death.
And I, too, understand what it feels like to love someone Dr. Edwin Fanshaw is not allowed to love.
So while I am not saying yes, I am equally not saying no.
If we can find a way to mitigate the dangers… ”
Nic gripped the chance of a yes with both hands and heart. “In order to challenge the certificate, would an alive Nicholas Monterris have to be presented to the court?”
“That would generally be the way, yes.”
“And if I was nowhere to be found? Living in secret would not be my first choice, but I would have as little desire to be found and challenged.”
“As for the reputational risk,” Leaf said, speaking up for the first time, “there is only so much hearsay either my father or His Grace would spread given how closely such a tale concerns them. A good many questions would be asked if His Grace made it known his son and heir preferred a false death and obscurity over becoming duke.”
Now that Leaf had drawn attention to herself, Dr. Fanshaw turned her way.
“Is this what you want, my lady? I cannot but consider that there are two of you standing here, two of you involved in this contract. However much I can dismiss the harm to your fathers after such a lock-in, I cannot dismiss the harm the contract’s loss might do you. ”
Leaf drew a deep breath, knitting her hands together in front of her.
“Dr. Fanshaw. Edwin, if I may. I am not a romantic young woman. Whatever might generally be assumed from the closeness of our relationship, Nic is not my lover and never could be. What I want is for him to be happy with the man he was made for, away from here where he can be free. That I will be considered something in the nature of cursed goods after the gruesome death of my contracted fiancé will also not hinder my attempts to convince my father to sasine me.”
A notch of confusion appeared between the doctor’s brows. “That is what you want?”
“It is what I have always wanted. I hope one day I will achieve it and open a school for magical young women. Until then, not being married to Nic is a good first step.”