Chapter 26
Chapter Twenty-Six
Q uinley fled the birthday party the instant she saw Rhys and Elias in conversation and knew the topic was obviously her.
She couldn’t stay after that. Couldn’t watch the two men look at her like that. Not when she felt too much for one, yet it was the other whose heart she’d stomped on who made no excuses about still caring for her. She saw the irony. Felt the hand of divine punishment.
She didn’t believe in her heart of hearts that Rhys was wholly in love with her, either. They’d been compatible, shared chemistry, the things that couples do. But that deep, unfailing, breathless love? Rhys had admitted he’d had doubts and that confirmation lessened her guilt to the nth degree. She’d been acceptable wife material to him, pretty arm candy who held her own interests and didn’t interfere in his life too much. And he would easily find that type of woman again if that was what he really wanted.
She’d walked to the party since it was only about six or eight blocks from her home. It was her first outing without security, but with her sunglasses on and her face hidden by a hat to combat the sun’s rays, she braved the risk of being so public just so she could breathe in the salt air and get a much-needed dopamine hit.
She might admit to peeking out her front door to make sure the coast was clear before leaving, but that was common sense. The anxiety created by the crowds and guards and media had left a lasting impression, but she was determined she wouldn’t give into the fear and hide a moment longer.
Now she regretted not driving, though, because it meant walking back and even though no one paid her any attention as small groups strolled by her to the beach loaded down with chairs and other necessities, or drove past, she felt exposed and on edge.
What had Elias and Rhys said to one another? What had they said about her? Did she even want to know?
By the end of her walk, she was practically running, stomping her way down the street, head bowed as she tried and failed to come to terms with all the changes in her life.
“You shouldn’t be walking by yourself. Not yet.”
She lifted her head and found Ana sitting on the porch outside her house. “You shouldn’t have left the party.”
“You did,” Ana countered in a knowing tone. “What happened?”
“I…had to leave. How did you get here so fast?”
“Cole dropped me off on his way back to the rental building. Your disappearance made the perfect excuse for me to leave as well.”
Quinley let herself into the house, and Ana followed, shutting them inside the sunlit island home. “This place is so beautiful. You’re lucky you snagged it.”
“I know. I’m sure Dawson had a lot of interest in it. I can’t thank you enough for what you did, getting the furniture from my mom and moving me in. You made it a home.”
“And you’ve thanked me profusely that day and practically every day since.”
Ana’s phone dinged, and she pulled it from the pocket of her skirt, frowning down at the face as she read the message.
Quinley walked to the fridge and pulled out the pitcher of lemonade she’d made that morning, a drink that had become a staple in her life. She refused to think of all the pitchers she and Elias had shared at the cabin. Or admit maybe it was her way of holding onto that time?
She grabbed two glasses and poured as she waited for Ana to finish responding. “I hope that’s not about me leaving the party.”
She’d tried to be discreet when she’d left, but if Ana noticed, maybe the others had too?
“No, not exactly. Hang on,” Ana said, thumbs flying as she texted. “Okay, done. And it looks like we’re getting a girls’ night.”
Quinley stared at Ana, but dread filled her at the statement. “What do you mean?”
“There’s a continuation of Mia’s birthday party at a piano bar downtown. Shut up, we’re doing it. It’ll be fun.”
“I’m not sure I’m up for it.”
“You are. You’ve been cooped up here ever since you returned from the cabin.”
“I went to a charity dinner just a few days ago.”
“Under guard. This will be a combo birthday celebration and freedom party,” Ana said with a grin and a shake of her head. “Come on, I know you need this. You haven’t been the same since you got back. I want my Quinnie back, and this will do the trick.”
“Do you have some magic potion somewhere I don’t know about?”
“I can add some alcohol to our lemonades, and we can day drink like the Babes.”
That comment brought a laugh because while she’d known the Boardwalk Babes her entire life and met them at various social functions over the years around the area, she hadn’t seen the Babes “unleashed” until today. “We need to make that a life goal,” she said to Ana. “When we are their age, I certainly hope we’re having as much fun as they do.”
Ana lifted her glass and clinked it with Quinley’s. “Amen to that. Now, why’d you run away from the party? And don’t say you didn’t.”
Quinley rolled her eyes and carried her drink with her to the couch, curling up in the corner and grabbing a pillow to hug as well as use as a drink holder. “Because I saw Rhys and Elias talking to each other. It was weird—and totally obvious that they were talking about me .”
“You don’t think that’s being a bit paranoid?”
Quinley glared at Ana.
“Fine, so what if they were discussing you? That doesn’t mean you had to leave.”
Quinley looked down and stared at the yellow haze inside her glass. “Am I a bad person? Be honest.”
“Quinley.”
“I mean it,” she said, forcing herself to meet her best friend’s gaze once more. “I hurt Rhys, but I know I did the right thing. Still, even though I did the right thing, it feels like I’m being punished.”
“Why do you say that? Why do you think that?”
She braced herself for the truth Ana would undoubtedly impart once the words left Quinley’s lips. “Because Elias wants nothing to do with me.”
Ana bit her lip as though she bit back words, and when Quinley saw that Ana wasn’t going to speak, she continued, “I’m not even sure when it happened—obviously at the cabin or when he brought me soup and took care of me. But I didn’t feel this way about Rhys and that says everything, doesn’t it? That there’s such a difference, and I feel it. Not that it matters.”
“Elias brought you soup? When was this? Why am I just now hearing about this?”
Quinley replayed the last week or so in her head and realized that while she and Ana had texted daily, they hadn’t discussed much other than Quinley starting her new business or Ana asking if Quinley had seen her mom at the charity event. And after not getting a response from Elias postsoup, well, she was too upset to talk about it.
Quinley explained how Elias had heard she was sick and shown up with soup, how he’d cared for her and then ghosted her.
“You’ve been through a lot, Quinnie,” Ana said.
“I know . And I know given the way Elias and I met that he’s gun-shy and with good reason. Maybe I’m crazy and it’s much too soon to even think about dating again, but there’s just something about him. Not that he feels the same way.”
“There is something about him. Elias is a good guy,” Ana said gently. “And like you said, he knows what you’ve been through, but with time…”
“It’s been weeks. I don’t think time is the answer. He didn’t even speak to me at the party today, Ana. Rhys did, but Elias was right there, and he didn’t say a word to me. Not one.”
Ana’s expression turned pensive and a small smile lurked on her lips, drawing Quinley’s attention and a frown. “What’s that look for?”
“You’re right about things being different with Elias. I’ve never seen you like this,” Ana murmured.
“You know what they say about karma,” Quinley said, frowning at her glass. “Of course the man who interests me isn’t interested. It’s payback for what I did to Rhys.”
“No, it’s not. Stop it with that nonsense. I mean it. This isn’t you, Quinley. Get up. Come on, up,” Ana said, obviously not taking no for an answer. “You are not going to sit here all evening brooding over Elias. We’re going into that beautiful store you call your closet, finding the perfect dress and going out with Mia and the others.”
“I’m not going to get out of that, am I?”
Ana cocked her head to one side and moved to the kitchen. “Where’s the Babe juice?”
“You’re day drinking? Ana the Ever Responsible is gonna get lit in the afternoon?” Quinley couldn’t hide her surprise. That was a definitive Boardwalk Babe trait if she ever saw one.
“We are merely having a cocktail while you model your closet. Come on, it’s time you turned that frown upside down,” Ana said with a grin.
“Oh, lawd, Ana. Don’t ever say that again.”
Ana giggled loudly and poured herself a nice little addition to the lemonade. “Deal. So long as you do what I say and get moving. Now drink some lemonade and strip.”
It took three drinks and well over two hours to find just the right dress according to Ana. Spring had sprung with higher day temps but cool evenings, but what did temperature matter when it came to fashion?
They’d even managed to find a little black dress for Ana, whose shorter frame and body meant mid thigh came to her knees. The dress worked like a charm, though, if Cole’s appreciative gaze was any indication when he picked them up.
The piano bar was decorated to the nines and held large, oversized furniture and gilded picture frames. The singer tonight had a phenomenal set and a voice that belonged on a concert stage. The building was packed, but having been early due to the day’s birthday celebration, they’d scored one of the L-shaped tufted leather couches and were having a blast.
Quinley tapped her foot along with the music and let the cheeriness of the room and her flowing drinks take her worries away for as long as possible. Until Mia declared exhaustion not long after Alec showed up to escort his birthday girl home and then offered to take Allie and Sophia home as well.
She and Ana stayed a bit longer. Until Cole left his protective perch where he’d kept an eye on all of them while letting them have their girls’ night and retrieved the limo, texting Ana once he was parked outside.
Quinley led the tipsier Ana through the piano bar to the door and outside into the crisp night air. Cole smiled at his grinning fiancée, holding the door for Quinley while snagging Ana to him for a kiss.
Quinley smiled at Ana’s giggles and sigh, and tamped down the jealousy she felt as she climbed in, realizing only after the door shut behind her without Ana following her inside that the limo’s VIP section held a very surly-looking Elias.
Her breath stuttered in her chest as she watched his gaze rake up her body, taking in her ridiculously high heels and the sparkling straps wrapped multiple times around her ankles, and the short, short babydoll dress she’d picked up from a boutique in NYC when she and Ana had gone shopping for her bachelorette weekend. In this dress, she had legs for miles, something Elias seemed to notice.
The moment Ana had found the still-tagged dress in her closet, she’d deemed it perfect and the one for the evening. Now Quinley sensed she knew why. Her best friend had listened to her lament over men—one in particular—all the while not saying a word. The traitor! “What are you doing here? Did you… plan this?”
Elias ran a hand over his chin and lips, never lifting his gaze from her legs, and she faltered because he’d never looked at her like this. Elias didn’t bother to hide his thoughts, wasn’t hiding anything from his expression at all.
No, Elias looked… He looked as if he wanted to devour her like a piece of forbidden birthday cake. Like he’d unleashed himself from whatever had held him in check all this time.
She suddenly found herself struggling to breathe, her chest rising and falling rapidly in the sparkly bodice.
“After tonight,” he said in a rumbling voice as his gaze raked over her, “you only wear that dress for me.”
A low thrumming heated her body in a full-blown blush. “Like you get a say in what I wear,” she said, her voice husky. “You ghosted me after you brought me soup and took care of me. I haven’t heard from you or seen you until today— Where I might add, you didn’t speak to me. If this is how you communicate? You suck at it, and I’m— I’m leaving .”
She made a move for the door handle, but all the tugging in the world didn’t make it open.
“Child locks? Are you serious right now?”
She turned to glare at him and forgot to breathe all together. This Elias wasn’t reserved or controlled but…predatory, stalking her every move with his gaze.
“Apparently kidnapping is something that’s worked for a few of my brothers when it comes to their wives so I thought I’d try it.”
“You thought you’d kidnap me?”
“Ana and Cole are up front. You’re hardly in danger. I wondered if you’d be willing to speak to me after I behaved so…rudely today. I wasn’t sure how to approach you, and when Cole said you’d joined the girls tonight, I thought we could talk on the way back to Carolina Cove.”
“By trapping me inside so I have to listen to you?”
“Like you said, communication is difficult for me. It’s one of my many flaws but one you’re going to have to get used to.”
She blinked at him. “Excuse me?”
Elias leaned forward in his seat, his hands clasped in front of him, eyes dark and hot and glittering in the low light of the interior.
“I’ve been struggling, Quinley. For a while, actually. With how I feel about you. When I brought the soup and put you to bed, felt how fevered and sick you were from just a cold, all I could think of was that if something happened to you…”
She sucked in a breath, finally understanding and kicking herself because that realization hadn’t occurred to her before now. “Like you were when your mother…your parents.”
He nodded, and her heart squeezed at how utterly uncomfortable he looked, how broken.
“I’ve lived my life in fear of…caring for someone, loving them, because of possibly losing them.”
“Oh, Elias.”
“Emotions are hard for me,” he continued, the words emerging rushed, like he had to get them out as quickly as he could before he shut down again. “I do exactly what you said at the cabin. I compartmentalize things and keep them locked away to protect myself from being hurt. It’s how I coped back then. How I survived. It’s how I cope now. That day when I came to your house, I wasn’t sure what I felt for you, but holding you— It hit me that if something happened to you, I-I couldn’t bear the thought of it. That’s why I left the way I did and why I didn’t respond to your messages. That’s why I,” he sucked in a breath, “ran like a coward. I knew then I was already over my head because I felt too much for you.”
Her heart broke at the words, at the honesty and pain in his voice, in his gaze. She crossed her arms and noted the way his lashes dipped, his eyes lowering to her chest before flicking back up to her face. The heat in his look spoke volumes, and combined with his words, she felt his stare like a physical touch. “Why are you telling me this now?”
“Because as hard as it is to admit, Cole said something today that gutted me. Basically that all these years I’ve been dishonoring our parents by keeping everyone at arm’s length. I thought that doing so would protect me. But it hasn’t.”
“It hasn’t?”
“No. Because it didn’t protect me from you. From loving you.”
She felt dizzy from lack of air and vaguely wondered if she’d drank too much and fallen asleep waiting on Ana to find a dress. If this was all a dream. “How do I know you’re not going to say these things and then ghost me again? Disappear the next time I get a cold or, God forbid, something worse? Things happen, Elias. It’s just…life.”
She watched as his handsome face tightened at her words, but she couldn’t help it. She had a right to her questions, to her doubts and the insecurities he’d caused with his behavior. A right to know if he planned to stick. There was a reason hospitals warned women facing hard diagnoses that eighty percent of men leave. And if Elias was going to be a runner? She’d rather be alone. No matter how much it hurt. Better to know now and cut her losses before discovering it too late.
“You don’t. I know I have to rebuild your trust in me, but I will. I know you probably won’t believe me until the time comes when it’s put to the test and I prove it to you, Quinley, but I won’t leave. Not again.”
Stunned silence filled the interior of the limo, and she vaguely realized they’d started moving. Cole driving them home, no doubt.
Elias ran a hand over his face and head, and she watched, taking in the tension, the sense of… need to convince her.
“You have every reason to doubt me, but I mean it when I say I’m tired of running, of hiding. Pretending. I want you, Quinley. I want to be with you, to get to know all there is to know about you, to be the man I know I can be with you. For you. I might have to walk over glass to convince you, but trust me when I say I am more afraid of living my life as a shell and losing out on the love I feel for you than I am of the past.”
Tears flooded her eyes at his words, at their sincerity and depth. But that feeling of waking up alone and being left with no responses still stung. “I…suppose I can forgive you. Once. But I won’t be my mother. I won’t put up with you withdrawing and going no contact or becoming emotionally abusive when you get scared of your big-boy feelings.”
“I understand.”
He canted his head in a nod. Then he took a breath as though it was his first and gave her a slow smile that melted her insides. Like he was so confident and sure in himself and the feelings he’d just confessed that he didn’t deem her conditions to be a problem.
Elias moved quickly, switching seats until he sat beside her on the larger one. Before she had time to blink, he tugged her onto his lap.
“We can go slow. And while we get to know one another better, maybe I can do something to apologize again and make it up to you.”
“How so?”
“Well, I can’t in good conscience give you chips.”
A laugh left her at his too-serious tone whereas hers sounded breathless and needy. “ Overlord ,” she muttered, shaking her head as she curled an arm atop his shoulder. “Fine. I’ll get my own chips. What can you give me?”
His gaze softened, revealing every insecurity and vulnerability he seemingly possessed. Her heart squeezed at the sight, taken aback by all the ways Elias was allowing her in.
“Me, all of me, no holding back, no…avoiding my ‘big-boy feelings,’” he murmured. “Not anymore. Not if you’ll give me a chance.”
She ran her fingertips through his hair, wondering if she’d ever be able to breathe properly again. “I can handle that.”
The arm supporting her back shifted, his hand sliding into her hair where his fingers tangled and gripped with just the right amount of force. He tugged, earning a gasp that parted her lips just in time for his kiss. The first kiss he had ever claimed on his own.
And she let him. She let him kiss her again and then again, her arms locked around Elias as he revealed the man he’d held back, the one she’d seen lurking under the surface from the day she’d jumped into the limo as a runaway bride.
This man?
This was a man she could love forever.