Chapter 36 Azrael #2
“We stick it anywhere we can to feel that wet warmth tighten around us,” I told her, my hand instinctively grabbing my cane, tightening around the head of it, imagining how it would feel deep within her.
“Mouths, asses, pussies,” I went on, watching her eyes flash with fear before they hardened.
“But if we shove it into a pussy without protection, without birth control, that is how we get little mini versions of us. Monsters,” I sneered, shaking my head.
She straightened then, glancing to my cock and back. “That’s how babies are made? That…stuff?”
“Cum,” I replied, and while this wasn’t a conversation I had been expecting to have today, it still needed to be done with what the church had failed to teach her. “It finds the eggs inside of you, inside of something called an ovary, once they come together, they create a baby.”
I hated kids. I hated sticky fingers and shrilly voices.
I hated the way they screamed and fought and I hated the way they manipulated their parents, how much they lied, how absolutely uncontrollable they were.
I couldn’t stand the way their voices grated against my mind.
Everything a person was became a parent.
That was their identity once they had a kid.
They were no longer known by their own name, but by what those creatures called them.
They required every single piece of a person, and I was far too obsessive in my own endeavors, too selfish, to ever give a screaming, attitude having, hormonal monster any part of me.
Having a child would ruin my life, and I stood by that no matter what the rose had to say about it.
One of Scarlett’s hands suddenly wrapped around her throat, the other sliding over her stomach, something like pain filling her eyes. I couldn’t quite decipher what the emotion was because it was a mix of them all. Pain, rage, fear, sorrow, and still that lust.
She stepped back from me, and I felt my body light with a fire I didn’t quite understand.
Everyone stepped away from me. Everyone flinched in fear, but not her.
Why now? Did something I say finally open her up to what I truly was?
I felt that burning start in the pit of my stomach.
It was a reality she would have to accept, just like the rest of them.
But her eyes were glassed over, filling with tears, her gaze falling to my lips, my throat.
“You didn’t swallow children,” I told her, realizing what someone like her must be thinking. “It doesn’t work like that.”
She clutched her shirt a little more, gripping it into a fist, a tear slipping down her cheek.
Without thought, I shoved the antlers around her jaw and forced her head up, forcing her eyes to meet mine. “Use those pretty little words of yours, little sinner.”
She inhaled sharply and pressed her lips into a thin line, removing her hand from around her throat, revealing the marks she had left there. “He took my O.V.A.R.I.E.S,” she spelled out with a shaking hand.
“Tick tock tick tock tick tock,” my mind began to hum, my spine going rigid. I felt my smile grow and I saw the look in her eyes shift when she clocked the shift in me. “Who?” I asked, this voice more familiar than any other.
Her lips tightened, her shoulders shaking ever so slightly as two more tears fell.
“I had just turned 11. I remember mother dropping me off at a house. He took me there for weeks. He told me my insides would never hurt again, that my O.V.A.R.I.E.S. were gone forever. Mother picked me back up later and told me I was better now. That I would never have to worry.”
“Tick tock tick tock tick tock tick—” I dug my nails into the cut on my palm, feeling them slice through the tie. “Who, little sinner?” I knew who did it. I knew exactly who had done it, but I needed her to say it. I needed the name to come from her lips.
But she shook her head. “I only remember his eyes.”
I felt a calm wash over me. “Color?”
“C.E.R.U.L.E.A.N. blue,” she answered. “The coldest gaze I ever felt on my skin.”
It shouldn’t have shocked me how she described them, but it did. Those were the coldest she had ever felt? How interesting.
I pulled her closer, forcing her head up at an angle.
“This changes things,” I hummed. “You did good today, little sinner. Very good. Dry your tears, he did it so they could stick their cocks in you without any repercussions. So if they raped you, it wouldn’t produce any unwanted offspring.
” He must have planned for her to go to Absolution.
He must have thought the church wouldn’t keep someone with a genetic condition like hers, not realizing they would continue to look upon her as a blessing.
“As well as the fact that a genetic condition isn’t on their list of ‘perfect Favorites’. ”
I had seen enough of their children to know that the church hand-plucked the people they wanted to reproduce to expand and those they didn’t.
I had had my suspicions that they were doing something to keep those they thought of as ‘unworthy’ from giving birth.
I should have guessed birth control was not savage enough for someone like him.
“Why they didn’t share it with the good Pastor and his son is a question I will find an answer to. For now, focus on what you have to shut down tomorrow. Let the rage fester.” I released her chin. “Do you take medication?”
She wiped her cheeks, leaving streaks of my drying blood in the wake of her fingers. “Yes,” she signed and gestured towards the bathroom.
I walked right into her bathroom and opened her medicine cabinet, finding three bottles sitting on the top shelf, written out to ‘Scarlett Harris’.
The doctor at the church must have been providing it for her without telling Thomas.
Maybe Garrett knew. Maybe he knew and wasn’t telling his son, or maybe Thomas was just too stupid to ask questions.
The sooner I switched her over to my doctor, the better.
She had been prescribed HRT, Progestin, and a low dose of SSRIs.
SSRIs could lead to emotional blunting. Is that why she was so easily controlled? Why I could glimpse the rage and madness in her, but nobody else could?
I tapped it several times before taking a step back.
I didn’t trust anything they gave her, but I couldn’t take it away yet, stopping her cold turkey without running my own checkup.
I would need to ask the doctor how we could go about helping her quit.
She didn’t need anything blunting her emotions.
I wanted her fully aware of all she was when I took that precious virginity away from her.
I shut the cabinet and turned back to the room, finding her watching me, the blood smeared across either cheek, still covering her left hand, her eyes red, but clear. How much more would she shine if she didn’t have those pills?
But that wasn’t the only thing I noticed. Something in her eyes had shifted. There was fear and anger in her now, and this time, it was pointed at me.
I stepped back into the living room, watching her take a small step back, my smile growing, her eyes dropping to my shoes.
Oops, I had given her too much time to think.
“Now, now, darling, if you’re going to glare with that kind of emotion, you must look me in the eyes.
Let me know how much you loathe me.” She didn’t know it yet, but she would. I thrived off the fight.
Her hands were folded at her hips, squeezing each other tightly, her spine rigid, but her face as passive as it always was.
It took her several seconds to lift her eyes back to mine. “They lust me too,” she told me before settling her hands back at her hips.
She was reverting back to what they taught her because she suddenly saw me as she saw them. Well, that just would not do. “You assume it’s the same,” I sang, slowly walking towards her.
“They put their hardened penises in my mouth. Lust. Your penis is hard. Lust,” she signed angrily.
I could see the war in her body, wanting to take a step back, but the laws engrained into her forced her to remain even as I stalked towards her with a predatory grace.
“They stroke their cocks to images of you as a child, Scarlett. They can’t get off without pigtails and a leather corset.
I stroke mine to the visions of you covered in blood,” I purred.
“At this age, no younger. Pain is why I lust. Blood. Murder. Retribution. A balancing of the scales this world has tipped. I lust because I see the way you lust after the same things I crave. You lust after the same things that drove me mad,” I sang venomously.
I slid the antlers around her jaw, the fear overpowering the anger in her eyes. “Don’t ever mistake me for them.” I pulled her forward. “For I am so much worse.”
The muscles around her eyes twitched. “I don’t want to…M.A.R.R.Y. you.”
My smile was sharp. “Too bad, little sinner. That’s a choice you do not have.
” I released her jaw, relishing in the anger simmering in her eyes.
“Don’t put on those pathetic church clothes they laid out for you, I’ll bring you something they deem appropriate but is more your style.
” I picked up my helmet and turned to her.
“Be a good little sinning doll, hmm? Let it fester.”