Chapter 46 Scarlett
Scarlett
I couldn’t feel my hands or my back.
I suppose I could, in a sense. I could feel the way my clothes brushed against them, the way the gloves felt, but the pain? There was none.
Just numb nothingness.
I wasn’t allowed to look at them yet, and Doctor Manson told us both that we couldn’t have any intercourse until after they were further healed.
I didn’t mind fully this morning. I was still exhausted, and I knew that my hands and back must have hurt quite a bit, but aside from all of that, we were going to church this morning, and I wasn’t quite sure how I felt about that.
It’s been a week since we were married, but it felt like a lifetime. I felt like a completely different person, yet this was my job, one Azrael had laid out for me long before now.
I would need to act the same. Slip back into the role of Scarlett Harris before I could go back to being the Queen of Hearts, his little sinner.
I liked being his sinner more than I liked being the Queen though. I’d much rather play that part than the other.
I stared out the window, my hands folded in my lap, the trees speeding by.
The dress I wore today was floor length with a collar and sleeves that hugged my wrists.
It needed to cover every inch of me to hide the bruises, cuts, and marks he had left, although, for the first time in my entire life, I felt sad that I had to hide them.
The marks Azrael left on me were ones I wanted.
I liked looking at them. I liked knowing that I got them because I wanted them.
Today, I was exhausted, but I would do everything in my power to make him proud.
We weren’t going to my church this week, we were going to one of the branches to speak to Judge Ruiz about Thomas’ nonprofit. I continued to think back to any and all conversations I had been a part of, but there was nothing. He had never mentioned a nonprofit before. Not even in passing.
So, rather than thinking about something that wouldn’t change, I thought about the girl from yesterday. Poppy, Red. Her hair was beautiful, her eyes fierce. Everything about her sang with power, yet her eyes still didn’t feel as warm as Azrael’s. I wondered if they ever would.
Whatever feelings I had for her, though, changed the moment she called Azrael sick. Every cruel word she said about him after that only made the dislike I had for her grow.
“Red won’t be at this church,” Azrael said, breaking the silence.
I felt my eyes hardened at the way he read my mind. I wanted to learn how to do that.
“They all think I’m sick, sinning doll.”
“They are the sick ones,” I signed, feeling my skin stretch and tear at the movement.
“We cannot blame them for their inability to see the world as we do. That,” he went on, glancing over, “is your first lesson.”
I finally found his eyes, confusion filling me. “My first lesson?”
He nodded, returning his attention to the road.
“I told you yesterday that I wanted to start your training. It’s time you learn how I do things.
Far deeper and far more intense than that of others in my world.
I will tear you down to the very seams of who you are and build you back up into what I know you can be.
You may believe I hate you, fine. You may think I’m trying to kill you.
Fine. What you can’t comprehend is who you will be on the other side.
When I did it, it took two years. One in the program and one in the asylum, for you?
I’m going to force you through it in three months. ”
I shook my head, my mind spinning. “How is that possible?”
“There are four of us,” he answered, “and you are a force to be reckoned with once you put your mind to it. I have narrowed the lessons down to what I know will shatter you and rebuild you in the perfect image of me.”
In his words though, I was already him. So this training would only refine me. Like he said, tear me down and build me back up into his equal. “The mission?” I asked.
“We’ll still work it.”
I turned back to the road, watching as the houses finally started coming into view as I considered his words.
I hadn’t seen him fight, but I had studied him enough to notice how he walked.
How he moved. He had a sword hidden in his cane, so he must have gotten into fights before.
I could only imagine what he looked like actually killing someone.
A feline attacking his prey. I wanted to look like that.
I wanted to be deadly in my silence. “Will you teach me to use a blade?”
“It’ll be the first and only weapon I will allow you to use,” he answered.
“You want the blood to flow, but I’ve told you time and time again that I won’t be the only one tapping into their veins.
If you want to help, you need to help in a way that gets you everything you want but follows my rules.
We have power, Scarlett, but not enough to keep us out of prison on a serial murder charge. ”
That didn’t seem right. He had all the power in the world, I had seen it. I felt it. He could do anything.
“Your first test will be this morning,” he explained, causing my heart to skip. “I told you that I would teach you how to see the tar in the hearts of the people in this world, and that starts today.”
My brows furrowed. But I hadn’t seen any tar yet. The Blackheart brothers didn’t have tar in their eyes, and Poppy? Her eyes were colder than theirs, but she didn’t have tar either. How would I know when I saw it? “I know their eyes are cold, but will that reflect in the way they look?”
“That’s what you’re trying to see. You will look into their eyes, all of them, but you will not communicate with them. We can’t have the people of the church realizing that you have a real way of communication. It might put a wrinkle in things.”
How would I—
“To let me know that you’ve seen the tar in their hearts, you will brush your hand by mine.”
My heart skipped, my lips parting ever so slightly at the idea of finally touching him. A simple brush of the hand, but he was allowing me to touch him. He was giving me that bit of control and I was not going to mess it up.
“I have never been into a branch before, so let’s lay some ground rules.
You only tap me if the person we are speaking with has tar within them.
Other than that, you stay beside me, hands wherever you want them, chin up, walking gracefully with the confidence you now have.
Show them what I’ve done to you, little sinner. Show them what I have turned you into.”
Whatever he wanted. I would crawl around that church if it made him happy. I would kiss his feet, drool on my knees for him. I just wanted those eyes to stay on me.
We drove and drove deep into the heart of Seattle, people teeming everywhere, the buildings as tall as the sky. We pulled into a smaller parking lot than the one outside of my church, cars scattered about the lot, people streaming towards the front doors.
I leaned forward, gazing at the building.
It wasn’t as grand as Pastor Masters’ church.
There wasn’t a steeple that reached to the Heavens or beautiful architecture that could make the Angels sing songs of praise.
The cars in the lot were more humble than the ones in Pastor Masters’ parking lot, telling me that the people here were of lesser money.
It was simple. A simple brown building with the ‘Church of Daylight’ name plastered to a sign out front.
I looked around at the people. Men and women, children. The kids were laughing, people smiling. How could they all look so happy knowing what happened in the Back Hall?
Did this church have a Back Hall?
I leaned back in my seat and looked over to Azrael who was already watching me.
“No,” he answered in that uncanny way of his. “You will never go into any Back Hall again. Not even with me.”
I felt a bit of tension leave my shoulders at that. Never again.
Azrael got out, walked around, and opened my door, the cool Seattle breeze drifting through my loose hair.
It smelled like the ocean here, pulling my eyes in every direction, searching for the sea.
A moment later, I felt his finger gently touch my chin and guide my head to the right.
I allowed him without any resistance, searching the area he had pointed me towards.
Azrael used his cane to gesture towards the city where the buildings had lessened.
“See that on the horizon?” he asked quietly.
“Where the sky looks just a bit darker than the rest. That is where the sea rests.” He went quiet for a heartbeat.
“Her heartbeat is calm today, she’s getting ready for what comes next. ”
I released a breath, seeing exactly what he saw. A line between the ocean and the sky, separating them. It was absolutely beautiful.
“Come.”
I gave the sea a few more seconds of my time before stepping away from him, and turning to face him.
I sent a quick glance around to make sure no one was watching before I signed to him, “You smell like the sea,” I told him.
“Since the moment I first felt your eyes, I knew you were the sea that would drown the world in a tsunami they would never see coming.”
He angled his chin ever so slightly. “And you?”
I looked around again before answering. “I thought of myself as a cliff. Something you broke against. Someone you might let live while you made everyone else suffer.”
A smile touched one corner of his lips. “Good. It’s time to go.”
I sent one last look towards the sea before joining his side.
It was different this time. When I walked into the church this morning, I didn’t feel numb or powerless. I felt confident. Nobody could take me to the Back Hall. Nobody could make me suck on them or wear leather, stand, and listen to them grunt and moan.
The only sounds I would ever hear again were Azrael’s, and the sounds he made set my entire body on fire. Just thinking about it had my clit pulsing and my tits hardening.