Chapter 3
Three
Angela didn’t know how long she had been sitting there, pondering the mistakes and triumphs of her life. The choices she was forced to make by her father had turned into success, even if it came at the expense of an overworked life.
It felt good to say it all, to release her grief into the wind that carried it away to nowhere. The breeze chilled her bones, and the rock beneath her was cold where she sat. With no one in sight, she stayed. When the tears stopped falling, Angela was able to move again.
Back at the house, she found Steven strumming the guitar he’d brought with him, only half knowing what he was doing.
“How are you feeling, Steven?”
Steven shrugged his shoulders and kept on strumming.
“Steven, I…if you ever…need to talk, you know I’m always here for you”.
He frowned. “Relax, Mom. I’m just chilling here.
Nothing is happening, and really, I know I gave you a heck of a time growing up, but I’m grown now.
It's different, and I have a lot to figure out. I won’t lie, I get bored easily—we both know that—but I’m trying to find my way. Just give me a break, okay?”
Panic settled deep inside, but Angela knew better than to press him. Nodding, she turned away, her nerves scattering in all directions. “I was thinking—”
The front door burst open. “We're here!”
A rush of five children, ages five to twenty, hurried through the door after her sister Emma, and just like that, she could breathe again. Stepping forward, Angela hugged her sister. “Goodness, I've missed you. I can’t believe we’re all here. I’m so sorry.”
“Me too.” Emma’s embrace was as warm and comforting as the Oklahoma ranch she and her husband owned. “Sorry we're late. With my brood, it takes forever to do anything. We had to bring the dogs, as they go everywhere with us, and well, here we are.”
Emma’s eyes shifted to Steven, who had stopped playing his guitar after a dog climbed onto his lap. “I see Sadie misses you! I was hoping you’d come out to the ranch this summer. We could’ve used your help, Steven.”
“You know me, always switching things up. Hey, Aunt Emma, I’ve missed you!”
Angela stepped back, grateful for the small blessings of a sister and brother-in-law who often understood her son’s needs better than she did. The embrace was touching and unsettling at the same time.
She moved around the room, giving hugs to all the kids and scratches for the dogs. “We’re going to need food, and a lot of it. We barely have anything here, but I wouldn’t expect much since it was just our dad.”
With tears in her eyes, Emma followed Angela into the kitchen. “Yeah, the last time I came to visit, he was eating hardly anything. Stubborn as nails that man was. I tried so many times to get him to come move to Oklahoma with us, but he wouldn’t.”
A hint of envy took hold of her, and Angela hated herself for feeling it. “I’m so thankful at least one of us had a good relationship with him.”
“Well, as good as it could be. He wasn't the most lovable man after Mom passed. You know this. And when you left, he hated himself for not being more accepting but refused to change. Pride, I guess.”
The sound of chaos quickly became deafening as all the kids and all the dogs took over the house. Her heart warmed to the idea; pain and sorrow over losing her father were easier to bury when there were hugs to share and conversations long overdue.
In the days that followed, there was chaos and drama as preparations for their father's funeral took top priority. Since Emma and her husband seemed to have things under control, Angela was more than happy to take care of feeding and tending to the younger children and the house.
“Oh, you’re back. How did it go?” Angela asked as she took macaroni and cheese out of a crockpot for the younger kids to eat while the older ones played video games with her son.
Emma stood in the open doorway of the kitchen, sorrow clouding her eyes.
“It was hard, I won’t lie. I wish you’d been there, but doing this with all these kids would have been nuts.
I made the mistake of taking Tanner, and he insisted that Grandpa loved blue, so he chose sky blue for the inside of the casket.
I’m not sure how well that’s going to go over at the funeral. ”
Angela smiled, loving her oldest nephew even more. “Well, our father can rest easy knowing he’s in a brightly colored casket that one of his grandsons chose.”
Emma sat down, and Angela noticed the weight of troubling emotions in her mannerisms. She quickly got Emma a bottle of water and some food. “Here, rest. That was probably more than I could have handled right now.”
“Oh, Angela.” Emma covered her face with her hands, crying softly.
“It was awful to go through that. It’s so hard to think that in two days we’ll have to do this with everyone, see him like that, knowing he’s not here.
I mean, it's been years since I’ve lived at home, but you never imagine they won’t be there, you know. ”
Through the open doorway, Angela saw her brother-in-law, his eyes fixed on Emma, with concern in them. “I understand, but you are doing great, and you have me and everyone else here. Don’t feel you have to do this alone. He was my father, too.”
“I know, and that’s why I want your help with the rest of the stuff. That was the hardest part today, but we have to figure out the church, the location afterward, flowers, his outfit—my goodness, I can’t.”
Angela, overwhelmed with her own regrets, was grateful that Steven and the kids were busy. She wrapped her sister in her arms, and they cried together. Quietly, she vowed to spend more time with her sister and her family.
Life was changing faster than she could keep up. “We only have each other now.” Angela left out the part that hit home for her—she’d only ever had Emma. Her relationship with her father had died long ago.
“We also have to clean up after this is all over. I can’t even think that far ahead right now. I feel like I might crumble if I try. I was looking at the family photos on the wall, and all these memories flooded back to me.”
“Oh, Emma, I’m sorry. I know being here has brought a lot of feelings to the surface. It's different for me, too.”
While she spoke, Angela waved her brother-in-law over, knowing he would be needed soon. “I’m here for you as you’ve always been for me and Steven. Why don’t you go rest?”
Angela turned to her sister just as her husband entered the room. “Can you handle the kitchen for a bit, Brandon?”
He made a face. “As if, sis. Come on. I got this. I run an entire ranch filled with people. My brood knows better than to act up, and Steven, well, he’s grown. Take her upstairs and get her some rest.”
Angela led the way, Emma’s hand slipping from her husband's shoulder as she moved. Arm in arm, the sisters slowly made their way up the stairs, and they were met with silence at the stairwell.
She knew for a fact that all eyes were on them, as Emma’s children were concerned for their mother’s well-being. Angela waved it off with her hand. “Your mom just needs to rest—we both do. We’ll be down in a bit, and your dad is in the kitchen.”
Before they reached the top landing and turned the corner, the music played again, game systems restarted, and life went on.
The next morning, Angela left Emma behind with her husband as she went out to handle the other details for their father’s funeral, with Steven and Emma’s other kids, Eve and Wyatt. “I think Grandpa would’ve loved this suit,” Wyatt said.
Eyes locking on the car ahead of her, Angela tapped her hand on the suit bag she was carrying. “Yes, he always loved the plaid one.”
She bit her tongue, remembering the shoes the seventeen-year-old Wyatt had picked out, since he had been given the task to prevent any fights with Emma’s children.
The bow tie was a bit much, but inside her heart, laughter threatened to burst forth as little Eve thought Grandpa would love wearing his high school class ring.
Remembering the night before when she demanded a say in what her favorite grandpa wore, Brandon had been fit to be tied. Steven wanted no part of it, as he barely knew the man.
“I don’t see why any of this matters. He’s not alive anymore. It's not like anyone’s going to care,” Steven said.
Amused by the little firecrackers' will, Angela stepped back to watch the brief spectacle as little Eve went toe-to-toe with her son. “He has to look his best!”
She ignored the raised eyebrows as the funeral director examined what was offered. “Well, it's certainly going to be a memorable outfit.”
Wyatt grinned. “So it should be. I was going to say he should wear a cowboy hat, too. We all wear them back at the ranch, but Mom talked me out of it. Grandpa didn’t live on a ranch.”
“I picked out the ring, and it's perfect. Make sure you do his hair like this.” Little Eve, who didn’t truly understand or belong at a funeral home, handed over a photo of her grandpa, pride shining in her eyes. “He needs his hair perfect so everyone can see how handsome he is.”
Angela kept her mouth closed, refusing to look in her son’s direction for the eye-popping spectacle running through his mind. “Well, if that covers it, children, we are headed to the church now.”
An hour later, Angela could barely control her laughter as Wyatt and Eve strolled past the church’s stone walls, while Steven quietly walked through the graveyard nearby. “Quite a bunch you’ve got, Angela. Didn’t realize you had such a big family.”
“Oh, Pastor Clemons, those two are my niece and nephew. They are Emma’s children. Steven over there is my son, my only child. Wyatt, please don’t climb on that, please.”
“Aw, come on, Aunt Angela.”
“You listen to Aunt Angela. She’s in charge!” Eve stood at the ready, hands on her hips, directing her brother like a seasoned veteran.
“Oh, that’s right!” The epiphany moment for Pastor Clemons came quickly, a soft smile touching his lips.
“Your father could never let that go. I had many conversations with him over the years, hoping he’d find peace.
You were blessed. Mistakes happen, and he should enjoy God's love and gifts, though they come in strange moments, but he would never listen.”
“Yup, that was my father—stubborn and proud.”
“Well, he is at rest now with the Lord. Don’t worry yourself. He always loved you despite your strained relationship.”
His words resonated with Angela, and she knew she could speak freely as long as her comments were respectful and necessary. “I don’t know, maybe, but it hurt him the most.” Angela pointed her finger at Steven as he walked toward them.
“Steven. Is he in trouble?”
“More like troubled. No father all these years, no real man, not even Grandpa, takes its toll. I've tried to play both roles all these years and do right, but I think it wasn’t enough. He’s been a handful since he was ten, when I caught him smoking a cigarette some older kid gave him.”
“Ah.” The pastor looked thoughtful for a moment. “The good Lord helps us when we’re in need. Perhaps you and Steven will find what you're searching for back here in Mistletoe Harbor.”
There were no words, nothing she could say in response, when all she wanted was to get the matter over with so she could return home to Chicago and get back to her life.
It felt good to be home, with no lack of love for her hometown, but the difficult feelings and memories of her father and Evander haunted her mind almost every second of the day.
“Maybe. Well, thank you, Father, for this. Having the burial here, where he went to church, means a lot to us.”
“Oddly, he never had a will. We spoke once or twice, but being beside your mother, he will find peace. He never had one after she passed. And you are welcome to use the hall next door afterwards. It will make things easier.”
“Thank you. Eve, you can’t climb in that fountain. It's not a bathtub.
His gentle, amused voice reached her as Angela moved to scoop Eve out of the fountain. “Of course.”
“You’ll be soaked to the bone, and it's too cold out here to be doing that. Come on.”
The air had grown colder since her arrival, and navigating back to the house was tricky as the grey skies darkened with what appeared to be snow. “I hope the next few days hold out, but one never knows in Mistletoe Harbor.”
“Maybe it will snow for Grandpa's burial,” Eve’s voice called from the backseat, where she sat looking out the window beside her older brother.
“Grandpa wouldn’t want snow. He always said he hated it.”
“And yet he continued to live in Mistletoe Harbor, Maine?” Steven asked, giving her a questioning look.
Angela didn’t know how to respond. “We live in Chicago, so explain that. Sometimes you don’t like certain things about where you live, and yet, you still live there.”
“You don’t like Chicago?” Steven seemed more curious than usual, even though his head was turned toward the window.
“I love Chicago and snow. I don’t mind it, well, not most of the time.” They’d pulled into the driveway. Before she had come to a full stop and completely shut off the engine, the back doors opened and the kids flew out, leaving the doors wide open.
“Wait, Eve, you have to—”
Feeling the cold bite at her sweater-covered back, she cringed. "Ugh, that’s what I hate about Maine and Chicago—not being prepared!”
By the time she’d gotten out of the car, closing the back doors was no longer an option. “Oh no! Sadie! You have to get out of the car! We are not going for a car ride, come on! Max, don’t you dare!”
The Bernese mountain dog, which was nearly as big as a moose, could barely fit in the back seat and dove headfirst in, barking happily.
“Oh no, come on, guys!”
The front door was wide open, and Eve was standing there smiling. Charlie, Brownie, and Willow followed Max out the door, wagging their tails. “Ginger, you're the smart one staying inside, and I don’t blame you!”
The copper-colored poodle mix wagged her tail happily next to Eve, barking back in return.
Turning to admire the circus sideshow of dogs piled into the back seat of her car, Angela groaned. “Now what?”