22. Reed
22
REED
“NICE GUYS FINISH LAST” – GREEN DAY
B y Wednesday I’m mostly physically recovered—I think—from the weekend of nonstop drinking, the drugs, and the road trips.
My spiritual recovery, however, is another matter altogether.
I pause in front of my building on the way in to work, looking at the passersby on the walkway along the Chicago River.
Last week I thought I had my entire life figured out. My routine, the big three—everything was humming like a well-oiled machine.
Pedestrians move past in polos, dresses, and suits, just like they did last Wednesday when I paused in this same way, at this very spot. They’re all the same. Yet I feel profoundly different.
The very focus of my existence has been called into question. Samantha, the previous foundation of my future and the reason I didn’t stay an extra year in Bolivia, is gone. One door has closed, and I’m left with a litany of life questions.
Why stay in Chicago? I love it here, but why not move? That plan is decimated. My anchor is gone. And it’s not like my living situation is ideal. Living with Mason was supposed to be a transition, just until Samantha moved here.
Then there’s the last of the big three, my job. Sure, making six figures at some important-sounding tech job is the dream for a lot of people. But the events of the past week now have me wondering, Is it my dream?
I feel oddly untethered, yet strangely clear-headed as I ride the elevator up to my floor.
A smile crosses my face when I see Jay spin around in his chair.
“Well, if it isn’t the guy who refuses to come into the office!” he says. “You’ve caused quite a stir.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah. Hal has already been around looking for you.” Jay looks away, then does a double take and squints at me.
“What?” I ask.
“Something about you seems different.”
I shrug. “I feel different.”
“No coffee today? Maybe that’s it.”
“Oh. I forgot it.”
“Are you quitting caffeine?”
“Honestly, I didn’t even think about it this morning. I’ve had a lot on my mind. Guess I didn’t need it.”
“We’ve been working together for almost a year, and you’ve had coffee every day.”
“So?”
“So I’m just pointing that out. You okay? Skipping work, not drinking coffee…”
“Samantha and I broke up,” I say with a sigh, settling into my office chair and plugging my laptop into my multiple screens.
“Oh.”
“Yeah, yeah. You can tell me you saw it coming.”
“How are you doing?” Jay asks.
I’m surprised by his non-sarcastic tone, which is uncharacteristic for him. “All right, I guess. I have bad moments. But ultimately, I think it’s for the best.”
His eyebrows rise. “That’s pretty down to earth for a guy who was flaunting a ring around last week.”
“I guess you could say that.”
“What happened, if I may ask?”
“Eh. It wasn’t working. I think I knew that in my heart. I just didn’t want to give her up, you know? She was everything I wanted.”
“Sometimes everything you want isn’t actually everything you want.”
As I’m about to comment, a shadow falls over us.
“Morning, gentlemen.” It’s Hal.
“Yeah?” I say without looking up.
“Nice of you to show up.”
“Well, it’s Wednesday. That’s an in-office day.”
“You’re coming in five days a week now. New policy. You missed Friday. And you weren’t here Monday or Tuesday either.”
A chuckle escapes me. I remembered the new office policy rather abruptly during my flight back on Monday, and I remembered it Tuesday as well. But this job is not the priority it was before last weekend, and my mind was a million miles away—although I did log in on my laptop. But honestly, I was mostly sleeping off my life hangover after Railfest and two cross-country flights. No way was I coming into the office. If they’re going to fire me for that, they can go ahead and do it.
“Is this funny to you?” Hal asks. “This is the new policy, and as a junior employee, you’re obligated.”
“Yeah.” I shrug. “My bad. Slipped my mind.”
Hal’s eyes widen. “It slipped your mind? That’s all you have to say?”
“Yeah. Are we done? I have work to do.”
He looks at over Jay. “Could you take a walk for a moment? I need to speak with Reed alone.”
“You got it.”
Jay gets up and ambles toward the coffee-machine area.
Hal sits in Jay’s chair, sets his coffee down, and leans in. “Mr. Walker, I get the feeling you’re not taking this job very seriously.”
“Am I not getting my work done?”
“Well, no, that’s not the issue. The issue is insubordination.”
“Look, man…” I glance at the time on my computer. “I have a call starting in a few minutes that I need to prepare for. Can we have this talk some other time?”
Hal strokes his beard and blinks. “That’s…not how this conversation goes. I’m your boss.”
“Do you want me to keep doing Lennie’s job for him or not? Someone’s got to close his sales, since he obviously doesn’t.” I turn back to the screen. “Wow, surprise-surprise. He’s sent me three emails already asking for my help.”
I spin my chair around. “I didn’t come in earlier this week because I think the five-days-in-the-office policy is stupid. You’re going to lose employees with that. So why don’t you run that up the chain to your boss?”
“We’re not done here,” he says, then gets up and leaves.
A few minutes later, Jay comes back. “Dude, what the hell did you say to Hal?”
“I told him the truth. His policy is stupid, and I don’t plan on following it.”
Jay sits back down in his chair. “What the hell’s gotten into you?”
“Perspective,” I say. “Life is short. You can’t let people like Hal push you around.”
“Dude, he’s your boss. Sometimes you gotta play the game and just lie down.”
“Jay, my friend...” I grin. “I’ve been lying down for too long. No more Mr. Nice Guy. Nice guys finish last.”
I jump on the Zoom call I have with Lennie and his client, and after a few minutes of small talk, Lennie says, “I’m going to let Mr. Walker take it from here. He specializes in this kind of thing. Reed?”
I let a long pause pass, before I smile big. “You know, I am blanking out on this one. Lennie, why don’t you handle it this time?”
There’s a long, awkward pause, and Lennie finally says, “Err…okay. I, uh, hadn’t prepared for that, but okay.”
Lennie stumbles through an explanation of our endpoint security product line. The client is noticeably irritated by his lack of knowledge.
“Yeah, well, I’ll let you guys know if we want to go this direction,” the client says. “Would have been nice if you were a little more prepared.” He ends the call.
“What the hell was that?” Lennie croaks once it’s just the two of us on screen. “You were supposed to run this call! Why did you do that?”
“Oh, Lennie, buddy. A thank you would have been nice.”
“Why would I thank you for that?”
I click off the call, pull up my email, and type out a long message to Hal’s boss about our sales strategy, the in-office initiative, and Lennie’s insistence that I run his customer calls.
“Hey, Jay,” I call once I’ve finished it. “Can you read this for typos?”
He leans over my shoulder. “Holy shit, bro. You’re sending that to fucking Sebastian Jones ?”
Sebastian Jones is like God in our company. He’s the CEO’s right hand. When you hear his name, it’s never good. It usually means someone got let go.
I shrug. “Why not? I feel like he should know what’s going on in his division.”
“Dude, I wouldn’t send that. Take a walk or something.”
“So no typos?”
“No, but?—”
I hit send on the email, and Jay’s eyes widen. “That’s the ballsiest shit I’ve seen in a decade at this company.”
I lean back and put my arms behind my head. “I don’t know, man. Ever since this weekend, I just think life’s too short to spend your time getting pushed around by people like Lennie and Hal. If Sebastian Jones wants to pick on me for telling him the truth about what’s going on at the ground floor of his company, so be it.”
“Something has gotten into you,” Jay says. “You’re different. It’s kind of cool, but I’m also a little scared.”
I wonder for a moment if there could be some kind of real-world consequences for sending that email. But I couldn’t care less. There are more important things in life than having to switch companies—or careers. That email will either change things for the better, or it will conclude my time here, and I think I’m okay with either.
There are more important things. Like Luna. I smile. I wonder where she is right now. That girl… My phone buzzes with a message.
Dunn: Dude. Baby time.
Reed: No shit? She’s having it?
Dunn: Water just broke. I’m about to drive us to the hospital. Wendy is being pretty cool considering we had planned to do this back home.
Reed: Can I come?
Dunn: You want to be there?
Reed: Sure do. You’re naming it after me, right?
Dunn: Right after I murder you. And yeah, why the hell not? Come on over. La Grange Memorial
I shut my laptop, throw it into my backpack, and stand up. “I gotta roll, man.”
“Roll? What the hell are you on? It’s nine thirty-seven.”
“Yeah. My best friend is having a baby. Priorities.”
Jay shakes his head. “I’d tell you it is not a wise decision to leave, but given this new personality of yours, I feel like that would fall on deaf ears.”
“You’d be right about that.”
On my way to the elevator, I see Hal.
“Mr. Reedy,” he says, back to his condescending tone. “Where are you headed? You getting coffee or something to charge up for the day?”
“Nah.” I press the button to call the elevator.
“Okay…?” he says. “Then where?”
I give Hal a smack on the back with a big smile, then step inside the elevator. “I’ve got something I couldn’t miss for the world, my man.”
“Nothing is more important than work.”
“Speaking of work, you hear from Sebastian Jones yet?”
“Uh, no. Why would I hear from him?”
“Eh, just a hunch,” I say as the elevator doors close, forcing Hal’s confused face out of view. I give him a wave as I leave.