Chapter 8 #2
The things I’d done at Ryan’s bidding flashed bright in my mind.
The way he’d sweet-talked me, so persuasive, and, on the occasions I had refused to bend to his will, forced my hand by violence, terror.
I could imagine how torn Jade would be between doing the right thing and protecting herself and her tiny daughter.
My shaking fingers gripped the smooth brass handle, testing it, my forehead pressing against the ancient wood as I tried to breathe through the panic that was pulsing frenetically in my veins.
The sudden knock on the other side of the door reverberated through my skull, making me lurch back in horror.
‘Annie?’ Aaron’s familiar voice called, and I pressed my palm to my chest, collecting myself. ‘Annie, are you there?’
For a moment, I considered not answering.
Retreating to my seat by the fireplace and pretending I hadn’t heard him.
But I was certain his timing was deliberate; he’d seen Jade leave and now wanted to grill me.
There was no point prolonging the inevitable.
I sucked in a shaky breath and stepped forward, slowly sliding back the bolt and opening the door, though it felt like opening the gate into a tiger’s enclosure.
‘Hi,’ I said, trying to summon what might look like a natural smile as I met his brown eyes.
They were narrowed, taking in every inch of my face as if he was looking for answers to a question he’d yet to ask.
His dark-blonde hair was falling over his tanned forehead, and he pushed it back.
‘Thanks for dropping off that shopping last night,’ I blurted.
The bag had been left on the step, just as I’d requested, and he’d added a big bar of my favourite chocolate to the collection, which had made me come over inexplicably tearful.
‘You have someone staying here.’
I pressed my lips together, offering a silent nod, the thought of having to explain the situation I’d found myself in wholly unappealing.
‘I met her when I dropped off the strawberries. And I just saw her leave.’
‘Right.’
‘Is she gone now? Or will she be returning?’
I raised my face to meet his probing stare, straightening my spine. ‘She’s just gone into the village. She’s coming back.’
‘I see.’ He hesitated, his eyes piercing as they burned into mine. ‘I didn’t realise she had a baby.’ The words were delivered slowly, his tone accusatory.
‘Yes. A little girl.’
He stared at me, silent for too long. Finally, he spoke. ‘Why is she here, Annie? Who is she to you?’
I couldn’t hold his intense eye contact.
I looked past him, hoping Jade wouldn’t change her mind about going to the shops and reappear.
‘She’s an old friend. She’s just staying for a few days,’ I lied, unwilling to get into the complicated mess, the answers I still didn’t have.
I didn’t want to lie to him, but he’d given me no choice.
I wasn’t about to bring up who I thought she really was, her link to the past I’d fled.
I didn’t want to remind him of the state I’d been in when I’d arrived here…
the awful things that had happened in those harrowing few weeks after I arrived at the empty house.
‘She’ll be gone soon,’ I added, hoping that would settle his fears a little.
He folded his arms, his usual smiley face and carefree demeanour conspicuously absent. It was clear that he didn’t believe me. ‘ Annie .’
‘What?’ I replied innocently, though I felt my cheeks flush.
‘What are you doing ?’ he whispered, his tone suddenly urgent. ‘They can’t be here… you shouldn’t have let them stay. You know that!’
I shook my head. ‘It’s just a few days. It’s fine. It will be fine.’
‘That baby?—’
‘Is perfectly safe here,’ I snapped, folding my arms tightly across my body. ‘As is her mother.’
He opened his mouth as if to argue, then sighed, shaking his head, his eyes trained on the ground as if he was ashamed of not being able to find the right words.
‘I’m right next door. Remember that, okay?
If you need me… if you want to talk – about anything.
I’m not on shift for the next few days, so I’ll be there. Day and night.’
‘Well, maybe you can find the time to do as you promised and get my bloody birdhouses off the internet. I saw the website! Jade found it in minutes when I asked her to look. And there’s a Facebook page too, with my name plastered all over it!
Thank God Ron doesn’t have a photo of me, or that would no doubt be on there for the whole world to see too! ’
‘I think you’re being a bit dramatic, Annie,’ he replied, his tone dismissive.
‘Oh really?’ I snapped back. ‘Why do you suppose she was able to discover it so easily? She literally typed in “Annie, hand-made wooden birdhouses”, and there it was! He must have been running it for weeks without my knowledge! Are you telling me you didn’t know before?
Or were you hoping to sway me by waiting until you had the sales logged?
Do you think I’d sell my safety, the life I’ve built here, for a chance at making more money? ’
He blinked. ‘I don’t know what you mean…’
‘Think, Aaron! Think about the position you’ve put me in.
You should have made it clear to Ron that he wasn’t to do anything of the sort when he put forward the idea.
You should have watched him take the site down before you promised me it was sorted.
It makes me wonder whose side you’re on.
How I can possibly trust you when you can be so flippant about my safety!
You know better than anyone why I don’t want the world knowing where I sell my stuff.
How easy it would be to track down my location from there.
I should never have let you talk me into working with Ron. ’
Hurt flashed in his eyes, but I didn’t allow myself to care.
‘I’ll sort it,’ he said, his voice gruff. ‘I’ll go to the shop today and make sure it’s down.’
‘But don’t you see? It’s too late for that!’
He frowned, confusion clouding his eyes. ‘What do you mean?’
I glanced over his shoulder to the lane behind him, checking again that Jade hadn’t returned.
I didn’t want to admit to him who Jade really was.
His face was creased with worry, and I couldn’t help but think that even now, despite the breach of my privacy, the way he’d risked everything I’d built for myself by being so careless with my wishes, it wasn’t me he was worried about but Amala.
He didn’t like me flying off the handle like this, acting unhinged.
He was worried what it might lead to – what I might do out of fear, self-preservation.
He couldn’t have made it more clear that he didn’t think I was fit to have a baby in my home, even with her mother watching over her.
I wanted to ask what he was so afraid of, why he looked so intense, but I already knew, and I wouldn’t open that can of worms now.
I couldn’t cope with that on top of everything else.
‘Make sure you get it taken down,’ I said sharply.
‘And don’t worry about me having guests. I’ll be fine,’ I repeated.
‘But will they ?’
I snapped my head up, my eyes wide at the implication behind his words, but he’d already turned for the gate. I didn’t wait for him to walk through it before I shut the door on him, bolting it tight.